Cuore Mio

The doctor came and checked over Gabriel, to see how responsive he is. Claire followed the doctor out to consult him about Gabriel's state.

"Mr Moore should be okay with a few more visitors but please be wary of his state. He needs to rest to recover." The doctor spoke to Claire as he was filling in some charts.

"Don't worry. I'll keep tabs on everyone." Claire smiled. "How is he doing at the moment?"

"His condition is stable but recovery will take time."

"I understand. What about his right arm?"

"I can't say yet."

"He hasn't moved it at all." Claire noticed.

"Mrs Moore, it's too early to determine the final outcome." The doctor said rather coldly. Claire nodded feeling her insides twisting at the thought that Gabriel might have paralysis of his left arm.

"I understand." Claire nodded at a doctor.

"Mr Moore is currently receiving morphine hence we stopped his antidepressants. He will develop withdrawal symptoms."

Claire's eyes widened at the mere thought of what may happen.

"Is he going to receive any support from a. Psychologist through the withdrawal?"

"Not until necessary, Mrs Moore." The doctor looked up at her. "Did you speak to the psychiatrist yet?"

"No." Claire shook her head.

"You seem better." He shrugged.

"My husband is alive and conscious. Of course, I'm going to be better." Claire said coldly.

"That's good." Doctor smiled. "I was worried that the news might be saying the truth."

"Why would you let me anywhere near Gabriel then?" Claire tilted her head in a challenging sort of a way.

"Because I didn't quite believe it. You seemed to love him too much to want to kill him." The doctor walked away after that statement. Claire wasn't sure what to think of it. She still struggled to admit that she loved Gabriel, regardless of the undeniable evidence and the knowledge that life without him was worse than death. And she definitely hated it that the total stranger could see it before she did.

Claire tried to fake a smile as she walked back into the room where Gabriel was. Gabriel grunted lightly as he tried to shift on the bed, trying to prop himself up to see her better. Claire hurried across the room to help him place an extra pillow behind his back and to move the bed upwards. In the end, Gabriel was half sat up, looking at her with a slight smile, even if he looked as if he was about to fall asleep.

"I haven't died yet. What's with the sullen face?" Gabriel joked. Claire smiled back at him gently. "Besides, can you please go home?"

"Why?"

"I don't think I like seeing you wear my blood." Gabriel said in his raspy voice, taking a breath at every other word. "I want you to go home."

"You're sending me away?!" Claire asked in disbelief.

"I am asking you to take care of yourself whilst I can't." Gabriel looked down in shame, feeling useless in his current state.

"Look, fuzzball, you aren't supposed to take care of me. I can do it myself. And you can't send me away just like that!" Claire wagged her index finger as if she was scolding a child. "I have seen you on the brink of death. You can't send me away now! You can't!" Claire turned red, feeling the overwhelming frustration. "While you were dying I thought that I'll never even hear your voice again. Do you really think you can get rid of me that easily now? I am not going to give up that easily!" Gabriel was stunned into silence. "And whilst I'm away, who will take care of you?!"

"Fuzzball?" He repeated at last as he raised his brow. Claire stopped and stared at him, unsure how to proceed.

"That's your take from this?" Claire asked in disbelief, shaking her head.

"I don't think anyone ever called me Fuzzball before." Gabriel furrowed his brows. "And I'm not sure why you're so angry."

"BECAUSE YOU ALMOST DIED!" Claire roared in his direction.

"I don't think it's fair. This time it wasn't my fault."

"This time?" Claire repeated mindlessly. "And yes, it was! What were you thinking?! Why did you jump in front of me?"

"Are you upset that I saved your life?"

"YES!"

"I've promised you my life." Gabriel said carefully. "Now, go home. I can't stand looking at your miserable state."

"And do you think I can stand your miserable state?! And all because of me?!"

"As if you asked to be shot."

"You had no right to get involved." Claire's tone of voice was cold as she felt the magnitude of the situation and just how close Gabriel was to die because of her.

"What do you mean?"

"You had no right to do this." Claire said through her gritted teeth. Her face turned cold. "You have no right to decide about my life."

"Claire…" Gabriel started worriedly.

"You cannot ever do that!" Claire lost it. "You cannot die! Not for me! You cannot risk your life for someone like me! You can't!"

"Claire…" Gabriel repeated feeling a complete lack of control over the situation. He couldn't do anything to help her calm down. He couldn't get up and embrace her. He couldn't even hold her hand as she was out of reach. He could barely speak and he struggled to keep his eyes open.

"My life is worthless! I'm no one! I shouldn't have ever stepped out of the shadow! You shouldn't get hurt because of me!"

"Claire, why are you so angry with me?"

"Because I care! Because it is my fault that you're hurt! And I cannot risk that happening again! Never! I shouldn't have signed that contract! I shouldn't have allowed you near me!" Claire's face turned red as she roared. "For a glimpse of a moment, I lived and that was my fault."

"Claire…"

"I don't want you to ever get hurt because of me again."

"Don't you think this should be my choice?" Gabriel asked as he looked down at his hands again. Claire's fiery eyes scared him a little. Claire clenched her hands into fists trying to stop them from shaking. "Life without you is worse than death, Claire." Gabriel responded as his lip quivered.

Claire took a deep breath as she tried to contain her anger. She couldn't. She quickly walked out of the room as she realised that she was slipping into a complete panic and that she was losing control over her emotions. Alex managed to catch a glimpse of Claire walking out. He quickly went to see Gabriel.

"She'll be back soon enough." Alex said reassuringly.

"She…" Gabriel looked worried. Alex hated to see him cry whilst in such a state.

"Gabriel, Claire has been struggling a lot with you being hurt. And she blames herself for it."

"What a pile of…" Gabriel mumbled.

"She'll be back as soon as she calms down. I promise you that she will."

"I think that she'll be asking for annulment of our marriage." Gabriel said carefully.

"I doubt it." Alex reassured Gabriel again. "She's pushed herself to the edge and she needs to calm down before she can continue."

"Alex, please tell me…" Gabriel said carefully. "How is she?"

"She's been really struggling with you being hurt, Gabriel. You really need to take good care of yourself and recover as well as you can." Alex replied omitting any mention of Claire's meltdown and nurses sedating her.

"I need to know what happened to her so that I can approach it the right way. I can't help her if I don't know how bad it was." Gabriel explained.

"I don't think you should worry about it now. Your main concern is to get your shit together."

"We both know that my main concern is Claire and only if she's well enough I can focus on myself." Gabriel was stern. Alex knew that his friend wasn't going to drop it.

"Look, Gabriel." Alex sighed. "It was a tough couple of days, especially for you. And kind of Claire too. I don't know what kind of pain you are going through. I can't even imagine it."

"I'll be fine." Gabriel grunted.

"You're stubborn as it gets." Alex laughed. "If you haven't realised it, Claire loves you deeply. She didn't leave your side almost at all. We've tried to convince her to, but she didn't want to. She's equally stubborn as you." Alex took a deep breath in. "Claire had to be sedated when you were first brought here. She didn't want to let go of you, even when they've tried to take you to the OR. I don't think I ever saw her in such a state…" Alex looked down. "As much as I hate it, she loves you."

"You still hate the idea of us together?" Gabriel asked with a wince.

"Only as a reason to tease you." Alex chuckled. "I've heard of what happened. I've heard that you saved Claire's life. I must admit, I'm a little jealous of whatever you guys have. Like, why would you jump in front of someone to save them?"

"I didn't even think, Alex. It was the only natural thing to do. My body moved before I even comprehended what was happening. I knew that I needed to protect Claire no matter what."

"Actually no!" Claire walked back in with a slightly raised voice. "You cannot…" she stopped as she realised Alex was there, still continuing the conversation that they had as she left.

"Excuse me." Alex said quickly as he run off. Gabriel wiped the tear off his cheek as he smiled at Claire who was fuming but not panicking anymore.

"You were saying?" Gabriel looked at her expectantly.

"You can't escape this stupid contract. No break clause, remember?!" She huffed. "You can't escape me."

"I agree." Gabriel nodded. Claire flopped on the armchair hiding her face in the palms of her hands. "Claire dear, why don't you go home and have a rest? You're still…" Gabriel looked at Claire's pitiful state with his blood all over her.

"I don't think I can leave you at the moment." Claire decided as she sat down in the chair. She started sobbing at the mere thought of leaving Gabriel's side.

"Why?"

"Because I thought that you're going to die and I've realised that I know barely anything about you. I am not going to waste my time going home now."

"I am pretty sure that you were about to break up with me."

"No."

"You're on edge."

"I know." Claire nodded.

"I'm sorry for causing you so much worry."

"How could you?" Claire laughed through the tears. She stood up and moved closer to Gabriel reaching for his hand. She took a deep breath as she tried to calm down. "How are you feeling?"

"Distraught by a perspective of you leaving me and still a little high on painkillers. No pain at the moment so it's all good. Although…" he hesitated "I think painkillers made my entire arm numb."

Claire rubbed her face unsure how to approach it. "Possibly." She smiled nervously.

"You know, the doctors weren't that great in telling me what is going on." Gabriel looked down at Claire's hand.

"Gabriel, the fact that you're alive is miraculous." Claire started sobbing again.

"Please, Claire. I need to know what doctors are whispering around as they won't tell me. I want to know."

Claire hesitated.

"Gabriel, you're doing pretty well, all things considered. I think that they just want you to rest rather than worry about the future."

"I want to know what's going on, Claire."

Claire took a deep breath before starting to explain what happened. "The bullet pretty much destroyed your axillary artery in your right shoulder. Hence the excessive blood loss." Claire gesticulated at herself. "They've patched it up as well as they could. You were in OR for about 6 hours, if I remember correctly. Due to the blood loss, you went into hemorrhagic shock. Your oxygen levels were very dangerously low. You've received four units of blood to help with it. They are monitoring you closely to see if you need any further blood transfusions. They are unsure of the extent of damage to your organs as of yet." Claire sighed. "They didn't expect you to wake up, never mind to do so within 48 hours…"

"It's not that easy to finish me off." Gabriel smiled reassuringly.

"There's a chance that your arm will be paralysed and that you'll have impeded upper extremity function." Claire repeated the words of a doctor with extra care. "There was an extended period of time where you had no blood supply to your right arm, and there is quite likely some nerve damage. As your arm heals, its function may come back and with the right type of physiotherapy and care you might get to the almost fully functioning state again. However, there's a chance of you being monoplegic." Claire looked down, unable to face Gabriel after passing this kind of news. "The doctor doesn't know the severity of the damage yet. The most likely scenario is that you will never have a fully functioning arm again."

"Who needs a functioning arm anyways?" Gabriel joked. Claire looked up at him and scoffed at his lighthearted attitude.

"It's not funny, Gabriel." Claire said more seriously. She moved even closer, gently caressing Gabriel's cheek. "I am so very sorry."

"I'm alive and you're here. That's as much as I could ask for."

"I am not planning to leave. Regardless of my meltdown just a few minutes ago." Claire smiled.

"So, why don't you want to go home?"

"Because I've waited very impatiently for you to regain your consciousness and I don't want to leave you just yet. I've realised that there's a lot that I still don't know about you." Claire moved Gabriel's hair off his forehead, with the strand falling right back to where it was before she attempted to move it. Claire smiled at it. "Because I've realised how precious my time with you is and how little of it we have, and that it can be cut short at any moment."

"You silly thing. We have the rest of our lives to go through." Gabriel tried to be reassuring. "But okay." He nodded, watching Claire so close to him. "What was it that you wanted to know about me?"

"Everything." Claire smiled and then she hesitated before she continued. "I was thinking…"

"Don't make it sound so ominous!" Gabriel said quickly worried about what was to come next.

"How do you like the sound of 'Caro Gabriel'?" She blushed as she asked.

"'Caro Gabriel'?" Gabriel repeated as he raised his brows.

"If not, what about 'Tesoro' or 'Cuore Mio'?"

"I'm genuinely confused."

"Caro means dear in Italian. I was wondering about the whole nickname thing."

"Ahhh… and what do Tesoro and cuoooo-something mean?"

"Tesoro means treasure and cuore mio means my heart."

"Which one would you be most comfortable with?" Gabriel asked. He felt flutters in his chest at the mere thought of Claire calling him some sweet nickname.

"I guess it depends whether you like any of them."

"You can call me anything you like, Claire dear."

"Okay, cuore mio." Claire said softly.

"Oh my god!" Gabriel closed his eyes quickly as if he was in pain. The flutter in his chest turned into an inexplicable pressure that made it feel as if his chest was about to burst.

"Are you okay?!" Claire panicked.

"I feel as if my heart is about to explode. What are you even doing to me?!" Gabriel reopened his eyes with the widest smile on his face. Claire looked at him with her eyes wide open as she was genuinely concerned that he was in pain. "Say it again." Gabriel asked.

"Cuore mio." Claire repeated with a soft smile, as she moved Gabriel's hair off his forehead again, which was still fruitless. "Do you need anything?"

"You and only you."

"I was thinking along the lines of drinks and snacks, or maybe even entertainment."

"No, Claire dear. I only need you."

"Of course, cuore mio. I am not going anywhere." Claire gently caressed Gabriel's cheek.

"When I woke up, you kissed me…" Gabriel said carefully as he looked into Claire's eyes.

"I'm sorry. I shouldn't have." Claire blushed.

"Claire dear, kiss me whenever, but please, kiss me again."

"What?" Claire was confused by Gabriel's ask.

"You struggle to tell me how you feel. You never said that you love me or even like me more than just an acquaintance. I don't expect you to say it. But, the kiss earlier was the first time I truly felt like your care for me. It was the first time that you were genuine with me."

"But… I've kissed you before."

"It was different. It wasn't lust. It wasn't sexual. It wasn't you teasing me or testing the boundaries." Gabriel tried to explain.

Claire hesitate, feeling slightly hurt that Gabriel didn't recognise just how much she cared for him before.

She slowly moved closer and planted the gentlest kiss on Gabriel's cheek. Gabriel's face radiated as he smiled again. This kiss wasn't as fast or spontaneous as when he regained his consciousness. Instead, it was careful, almost calculated. Claire hesitated before she moved and kissed his other cheek, then his forehead, eyebrows, eyelids, and a tip of his nose, before kissing his chin and lastly his lips. Gabriel smiled with true bliss through it. Claire was excited to see just how much happiness this brought to him.

"I care about you, Gabriel. I never thought that you might feel otherwise. I thought I'd shown it to you before…" Claire sat back down in the armchair, still holding his sprained hand. She kissed the back of it with equal gentleness as his face. "I'm sorry for not doing it right, cuore mio."

"Chapman once suggested that there are five love languages." Gabriel started with a slight mumble.

"Oh yes. I'm aware of the concept." Claire nodded. "I think Chapman said that people tend to give love in the way they prefer to receive it."

"I'm not sure what your thoughts on it are but l I would like to know how you'd like me to show you my care and love for you."

"Okay. We can do that." Claire nodded. "Why don't you start?" Claire asked. "Tell me what you think is your love language."

"Let's see…" Gabriel thought carefully about his answer. "I'd say that it's mostly physical touch and I'm right in between for quality time and words of affirmation for my secondary love language." He looked at Claire with sudden worry. "But I don't want you to ever feel pressured into showing me your affection if you don't want to."

Claire smiled as she leaned in and kissed Gabriel on his forehead.

"Understood." Claire caressed his cheek, feeling the comforting warmth spread through her. "You want me to kiss you to show you that I care for you."

"That's not what I've said!" Gabriel said in a disgruntled tone.

"So, you don't want me to kiss you?" Claire tilted her head.

"That's not what I've said either!" Gabriel's eyes sparkled at Claire's teasing, and some colour appeared on his face. Claire laughed at Gabriel, who shook his head in disbelief. "Your turn. What's your love language?"

"Quality time, and then acts of service and words of affirmation." Claire said thoughtfully.

"I love you, Claire dear. Thank you for being here with me even if it's dreadful for you." Gabriel said earnestly to fulfil her desired affirmations, still being earnest in his words.

"I will rather be here than anywhere else right now." Claire said quietly.

"Do you like hospitals that much?" Gabriel asked teasingly.

"I like YOU that much." Claire looked down in embarrassment. Gabriel looked at Claire silently, finally realising the extent of Claire's feelings for him as Claire was drawing circles on the back of his hand with particular care and gentleness, too shy to look up at him. Her hair was in a complete mess and it was greasy by now. Her clothes were untidy, with dark stains on them. She had dark circles under her eyes. And yet, Gabriel couldn't take his eyes off her.