You Don't Mean That!

'' Why would you be ashamed?'' He asked in a gentle tone.

I wanted the earth to open up that instant, and eat me up! Ahhhhhhhhhhhhh!

'' I'M NOT !'' I snorted.

please, just don't bring it up.''

My mind was flooding with all the memories from the night, they were overwhelming my senses, that my breathing was now haggard, and my body itchy, as if in anticipation for it to repeat.

'' Why shouldn't I? I'm actually, looking forward to doing it more often''

How can someone say such thing with brazenness. I was lost for words, what have I put myself into?

'' I'm waiting for your respond'' His voice has got deeper than usual.

Can he just stop pulling my leg, my face was now as red as a tomato.

'' I don't know what to reply?'' I said sincerely.

His chortle was low and pleasant to my ear. '' You don't have to say anything. Just tell me If you enjoyed it too, and if you would like to do it more often.''

'' You already know the answer to that! '' Does he think that everyone is as shameless as he was. My throat was dry just by thinkig about it.

'' I want to hear you say it! '' He demanded.

No escaping it now! If I give in, there is no way I would be able to face him. And to top that What I did was immodest.

'' Why don't you wait till Sunday, after the ceremony, then I wouldn't have to tell you, but rather show you how much I did '' I bargained.

He might take that as me being flirty, or tempting him. But I knew within me, that I was buying some time, in hope that, by then I would be ready to take the next step, in this our budding relationship.

He still haven't replied. All I met was silence at the other end, did I push him too far?.. It's just 4 days to go! Bond creation is also important to me, for crying out loud! does everything have to be sexual?

'' Hut? '' I bit my lips, as I waited. It was not like I was demanding him to love him, but at least, to get along with each other, .and we can only archieve that by communcating more

'' ...About the engagement..I hmm...'' Why was he hessitating? my heart was pounding, I held the phone tightly to my ear. '' What..... about... the engagement?''I stammered in a shaky voice.

'' It won't be this Sunday anymore.'' There was no emotion in his tone.

I was so confuse. What just happened? why?

'' When were you planning on tell me about this change?'' My tone was low, and filled with uncertainty. What dose he take me for? A puppet?

'' On Sunday..'' His voice was smooth, and unbothered.

I bit my lips tightly, trying to keep myself from exploding. I knew, that would only worsen the situation, and I don't want that to happen, at least not now, that our relationship was hanging on a thread.

I licked the tickles of blood off my lips, and took a few calming breaths. '' And you think it would be okay by me, to know, that my engagement won't hold on the very day?'' I questioned seriously. What kind of mindset was that, he could have just called me, was he that occupied with so many Babies? Or our engagement held no meaning? An honest reply is all I needed.

'' I didn't want to break the news over the phone. It would be better for us to meet in person, I would've liked to come later, than Sunday, but I can't. My schedule is tight now, with the addition of earl .'' He debated.

No matter how logic he sounded, I still felt like, I had been toyed with. I was still puzzled, why it was suddenly cut off, without me threatening to slit my wrist.

Well that's all in the past now! I'm freeeeeeeeeee!

'' Do you mean that everything is completely cut off?'' I wanted to be sure, where I stand now.

'' You think it's that easy to escape from me? '' His tone was high, as if the situation itself was upsetting.

I didn't bother coming up with an answer to his narcissistic query, I just want to hear him say, that I'm free from any kind of entitlment.

'' The engangement has been cut off'' He continued. I don't know if I felt I disappointed, or relieved.

'' But the marriage will still hold!'' He added.

My ear buzzed. '' What.. what marriage? '' I asked, maybe I just heard wrong.

His low and deep chuckle swallowed up the silence.

'' With me of course, on the first week of next month.''

My eyes popped out. '' Wasn't it suppose to be three months after the engagement? Why should it now take place in less than three weeks?'' I asked exasperatedly, I just can't comprehend how fast everything was enfolding. I felt like a dry leave that is being blown, by a strong wind, to any direction, that it pleases.

'' *How soon* the marriage would take place, doesn't hold any significant. All that matters, is that it would eventually happen.'' His tone was indifference, as if, we were merely discussing business, and not our future together.

'' I don't want a marriage without an engagement'' My voice was loud, I don't know how else to get through to him. I want him to get down on his knees and propose to me. I don't give a care if it's was a matched made by our parents.

'' That's the least, I would ever ask'' I sniffled. Not until now, that I noticed how wet my face had become. Who was I kidding? This marriage scares the life out of me. I waited paitently, holding my tears abay.

'' Why all this drama? Haven't you had enough time?''

I could feel anger rising inside of me, he sounded like I was being difficult, which was the opposite, I had come to accept this marriage, but I want it done the right way.

'' Do my parent's know about this changes yet?'' I doubted they do, but I wanted to make sure of it.

'' Not yet. But they would recieve the update tomorrow morning. ''

''Why didn't you think, of informing us, before making such changes?..''

'' It was an imprompt situation, and besides, this would surely be good news to my parents~in~law. Don't you think?'' The reality hurts, but it doesn't make it any less true.

'' Is it about the scandal?'' I tried reasoining with him.

'' I assumed, that was why you called. So why didn't you mention it until now?'' There was a hint of humour in his tone.

'' You were jealouse. right?'' I just can't withstand his nerscisty, any more

'' Who? me'' I scoffed. ''I have other things to focus on than to harbour jealousy over someone I feel nothing for'' I denied, I won't give him that leveage over me.

'' Can't we fix an egagement, even if it's a night before our big day?'' If he thinks, he could advert my attention, then his dreaming! I won't be treated like a comodity.

'' Ebele, stop pressing the issue any longer. I won't compromise.'' His tone left no room for discussion, so I stayed quiet, impatient to end the call, I see no reason to continue a conversation, that I had no say in.

'' Will I be seeing you soon?'' I enquired.

'' As of now, the chances are slim, there a lot of things I need to handle here in Berlin.''

'' It's just few hours flight!'' I bellowed.

'' It's not about the distance, but about the time! My schedule is full.'' He explained.

* But he had the liesure to fool arround with models and actresses* Do I really look, that gullible to him.

'' Okay, then we will see later'' I said concluded.

'' We can till be talking '' He was quick to clarify.

'' Talk? There is nothing left to talk about '' I mussed.

'' Of course there are. What happend to * It's best for us to get acquaintance with each other* '' He said in a komish voice.

'' And how far has that lead us? Phone sex?'' I asked straightforwardly. I don't care about my pride now. I just want to make myself clear to him.

'' That's a progress in my opinion.'' I furrowed my eyebrows. How can someone be so shameless. You know what ?

'' It was a great pleasure, interacting with you tonight, that I don't look forward to it anytime soon.'' I might be timid, but thanks to Rupert, I had some sarcastic replies up my sleeves. Although they still need some construction.

''And Oh! thanks for worsing my headache.'' I ended the call, not the least interested in what he had to say. It's not like he would purnish me, for bring rude.

I could only hear my heart beat, through the silent night. A sudden fear enveloped me, then I realized, that I had been in the dark all this while. I hastily switched on my head lamp. I felt safer, as the light shone dimly through my room. I plan to get enough sleep, there is no sense in joeptizing my health before my wedding.

I stood up, and sleepily sat at my table, tired my hair in buns. I squeezed out my oil base cleanser, with a circular, massaging motion, I used my finger to spread the cleanser all over my face, including my hairline, then applied a thick layer of petroleum jelly over my lips. I was too exhausted to wait, that I wiped everything off with my cotton pad almost immediately. Before dragging my weak body to bed.

I hit the hay, the moment my head touched my fluffy.