Live your life

Chapter twelve 

The news of her mother's cancer condition hit her like a hurricane, she stumbled back an inch from the impact. Her eyes widened and her heart took on an involuntary race towards the end of the earth. Words were a luxury she couldn't afford, pain swell upon her chest and she thought she'd burst with them. It took three calls from the kindly Doctor with a round glass on his nose, before she was brought back to the present. 

"And like I said earlier, it's a good thing the cancer was detected at an early stage. We should schedule a chemotherapy treatment and surgery as soon as we can," he advised in that kind voice of his. 

An overwhelming urge to burst into hot tears slammed through her and she fought it by gritting down on her teeth. Hard. 

Her head was foggy and made of cotton wool. Words stuck to her throat and refused to come out. She swallowed a thick saliva and managed to finally croaked the words out. The tasted like acid on her lips. 

"Lung...cancer?" She asked again. Perhaps if she keep asking again and again the answer would eventually change. Perhaps he'll realize how wrong he had been and laugh it off as a vital mistake. 

He nodded and smiled gently. 

"It's nothing much. Only a few cells are affected yet and her immune system is putting up a good fight. The probability of the surgery coming out great is high, only if we operate soon," he gestured around. 

Lin wei nodded and bit back the bile rising in her throat, she squeezed her eyes shut and gave herself a mental shake. 

"How soon?" She asked when she trusted her voice to be steady. The last thing the two of them needs right now is a weeping mess saga to turn things awkward. 

"Very soon. I'll say in a week or two" he replied seriously. 

Lin wei nodded again and murmured her thanks while swaying towards the door. She was about to turn the knob and get the hell out of his office when his soft voice reached her. 

"It'll be fine Weiwei. You're stronger than you give yourself credit for" he encouraged with a slight smile. 

It wasn't true but she smiled wobbly and nodded anyways. Her head was going to fall off her neck if she doesn't stop nodding and move out of the office soon.

She breathed a much needed chlorine infused oxygen as soon as she got out. She walked mechanically towards her mother's ward. It's been two years since her mother was admitted into this hospital therefore she was familiar with the way and a few faces. Rounding the end of the hallway and turning to her left, her mother's ward came in sight.

One of them was doctor Zi Tao, and as much as she appreciated his effort in trying to make her feel better, he was doing a bad job of it. 

A sob caught in her throat and she hurriedly wiped her face with the edge of her sleeve. She wasn't about to go into her mother's room looking like that. 

She took a deep breath and squared her shoulders, reaching for her quickly depleting tank of courage and sunshine before pushing the door open. 

Her mother was peeling oranges and chatting with her bed-neighbor. She laughed and waved her hands at what the neighbor said to her. Her pale face lit up and her eyes Shone when she saw Lin wei hovering around the door. 

"Weiwei! You're here," she smiled warmly. 

Lin wei returned a wobbly smile and walked towards her bed. 

"Ma," she begin brightly. She extended her greetings to Mrs-something by the next bed. No matter how many times she'd be here, she just never seems to remember her name. 

"How are you feeling today?" She asked with forced cheer. Seeing her mom in this condition was the biggest agony that shred her heart into bits. She hates hospital so much.

"The doctor said I'm getting better already. Like they always say" she added, with a rueful smile and a gentle shake of her head. 

She coughs into her hand, her eyes watering badly. She quickly hide her hand behind her and smiled a little. 

"How's work?" She asked with difficulty. The tip of her teeth was tinged with a bright red. 

Lin wei had a hard time not breaking down into tears. Her mom was trying so hard to keep it a secret. 

"Ma.." she drawled. Her throat constricted and she managed a smile. Her eyes stung badly and tears threatened to spill.

"It's okay Weiwei. It's fine" she patted her leg with her other hand.

"How's it going Weiwei? It's a been a while since your last visit. Got a boyfriend?," Mrs-something asked with a naughty raise of her white brows. 

Lin wei laughed and shook her head. Boyfriend was a lot of miles down her to do list. 

"Why? You're too young to be wasting away like that!" She cackled like a witch.

"Is there anything you need Ma? I brought you some snacks," Lin wei brought out the bag of burnt macaroons she made in the morning. 

The taste didn't matter. What matters is that it's a labor of love. 

"Ma, we need to talk.." Lin wei begin seriously. 

Her mother's brow furrowed and she tilt her head to a side, gently studying her. 

Her mother's Auburn hair had lost their usual shine and her skin her gone pale and wrinkly, losing their usual enviable pallor.

"He told you, did he not?" She asked with a frown. 

Lin wei nodded and hiccupped. They could only be talking about one news. Mrs-something was sticking her neck and trying so hard to tune her radio.

Lin wei and her mother shared an understanding glance and her mother drew the leather curtain abruptly. 

"It's not the end of the world Weiwei. You should really live your life for yourself. You've done enough, you've sacrificed enough," her mother said sadly. 

Lin wei nodded, already thinking about ways and solution. From the corner of her eyes, she could see the blood on her mother's palm.