6

When did things start changing? I disliked her from the minute Grandma hired her and had me take her under my wing. Although I may have wanted to, I was unable to end my position with my grandmother as she was my employer. Despite my best endeavors, I have been unable to get rid of her. I don't recall when I stopped trying to convince her to remain.

I tell her, "You'll be my date for Gabriel's wedding," and my eyes start to shine. You know the routine as we've covered this topic before. Don't introduce me to any vapid socialites, but please give me some excellent business cards. I'll be sending you the list of invitees, and I expect you to have a complete knowledge with everyone on it. This is much more than a mere ritual.

She nods and puts on a phony smile when I ask her if she agrees. Just to address your question: sure. I aim to attend and discover every small information about the family, including the names of the kids, pets, and lovers.

I nod and fall back on the sofa, gaze idly at her physique. When did she become the one I trust the most when I previously distrusted everyone else?

When I am around the house and my mother is watching television, I may sometimes hear her mutter, "She's an idiot."

She can be seen staring at the television screen with her face contorted in misery as she watches the female protagonist of the series wash the lipstick out of her husband's shirt.

You are such a worthless piece of trash, I can't believe it.

On the tip of my tongue, I can nearly taste the acrid quality of my mother's voice.

It seeps into every nook and cranny of my existence, and as a direct result, my mood is gradually deteriorating.

My whole body tenses up, and I feel a wave of nervousness sweep over me as I wait for the next words to be said.

If she continues telling me, "You can't trust males," then maybe she is more concerned with convincing herself of this than she is with convincing me.

"It does not make much of a difference whatsoever option you choose with.

You can bank on everyone who has ever cared about you betraying you, shattering your heart, and leaving you with nothing but shards of the life you once believed you had with them. This is something that you can do nothing about.

On her, I have mixed emotions regarding her tenacity: amazement and grief come to mind.

I would never in a million years try to minimize her suffering, but she has no concept how much harm she is causing not just to herself but also to the people she cares about.

"Have you been pondering such things as of late, mom?

What is it, a shattered bit of glass?

What are your thoughts and emotions about the past?"

The words that normally stay tucked away in the corners of my head are beginning to take form on my lips before I have the opportunity to absorb them.

The minute Mother turns her back on Father, a glimmer of delight can be seen in her eyes.

"That was not at all what I had in mind, obviously.

If I had given it any thought, I would never have attempted to bring you up on my own while also working three jobs at the same time."

I wouldn't be in such great shape right now if I weren't putting in as much effort into my career."

She mutters my name while casting a glance at her thighs.

The literal interpretation of this proverb is "I wouldn't be here if I hadn't been working as hard as I have been."

The moment I get a glimpse of the pain in her eyes, I can't help but wish I hadn't said anything.

My mother's inability to walk was not due to any fault of mine; rather, it was the result of her insistence that she pursue a profession in manufacturing.

Her legs are going to be permanently damaged, and she won't be able to stand for more than an hour at a time without experiencing excruciating pain.

As a direct consequence of this, she will be unable to walk for the rest of her life.

Regardless of whether or not she expresses it, I am aware that she blames me.

If I hadn't been so adamant about her completing high school and enrolling in college, she probably wouldn't be working there right now.

In spite of the fact that I am mortified to admit it, I am beginning to pick up on some of my mother's animosity that she has shown against other people.

It's possible that my mother sacrificed a lot for me, but you can rest certain that I've more than made up for it in every conceivable way.

While Mom grimaces at the point of her series in which the woman is compelled to admit that her husband is cheating on her, I glance down at my phone while simultaneously tensing every muscle in my body.

It's growing late, and I don't feel I have the stamina to pay listen to any more of my mother's admonitions at this time.