169 Chapter 14: The Sex Tape ll

I tried to get some more cleaning done, but my phone kept ringing every so often, pretty much all of them about the sex tape. First it was Brandi, who was freaking out entirely. I calmed her as best I could and had to reassure her several times that the whole thing was Adrienne's idea. Next it was Brooke, who had actually first called me last night when she found out the guys in her clique were watching the video, only I was busy with the three C-blondes and didn't pick up. And speaking of the three C-blondes, Casey called me to ask if it was really me and Adrienne in the video while rather bluntly asking about the brunette. I told her the video was made more than two years ago and that I wasn't about to reveal the identity of one of my ex-lovers to her. She accepted my explanation and then asked if she and Carolyn could visit later tonight. Not having any other plans, I decided to say 'yes'.

It definitely seemed that while the video had first been leaked on Thursday, it was only starting to blow up now. Brooke called me back to report that one of her guy friends had seen the video on YouTube before it got yanked for content violations. She figured it was only a matter of time before other video websites got hold of it. I talked to Adrienne a few times to make sure she was doing alright. She told me that she was holed up in her apartment with some friends while her agent officially did damage control, but really so far the news was quite positive.

And then my MOM called me. Don't tell me how she found out, and I shuddered to think about HER watching the video. But she wanted to know what was going on, and rather than feed her the lines about a nearly 3-year-old video being hacked off an old hard drive, I gave her the real story about Adrienne and proving her "straightness" to help her career. Mom wasn't happy about our decision, but she didn't blow up on me, either.

In the early afternoon, Kady and Noelle called, and by now I had the explanation down pat. Like Amber, they scoffed at the idea of Adrienne being a "true" lesbian.

Noelle put it best: "It may be hard for you to imagine, being a straight guy, but gay men are NOT attracted to breasts in the slightest. Flash them a pair of tits and they either don't get excited at all or are actually repulsed by the idea. The same goes for lesbians: your penis is icky. Sorry, Ben, but it is. I had to be REALLY horny and really adventurous to let you do the things you did to me, and I had to mentally pretend your penis was a dildo every time we had sex. I don't even like penetration, dildo or otherwise. If I could have convinced myself you were a girl, I would have. We watched that video. And Adrienne is NOT a lesbian."

"I know, I know. She's just 'mostly' lesbian, like Kady."

"Nuh-uh," Kady explained. "While I'm not as repulsed by your dick as Noelle is, it's still not something that turns me on. Adrienne worships your cock."

"So what are you trying to say?"

"Nothing, really. I believe you when you say she's more into girls than guys. But don't kid yourself that she's really a lesbian. The video is proof."

"Okay, whatever. I don't really care about exactly where she is on the Kinsey scale or any other labels. She is what she is. That's good enough for me."

That was good enough for Kady and Noelle as well, and they let me go to finish up my cleaning. I also made myself lunch and zoned out in front of the TV for a little bit, actually enjoying the quiet solitude after a morning spent with my cell phone attached to my ear.

But then the doorbell rang and when I opened the door I found a trio of familiar faces looking at me. Pretty bottle-blonde Andie Holland, busty Indian babe Lakhi Sharma, and curvy caramel Tonya Brackett were waiting on my front porch. The three Tri-Delts smiled perkily when I invited them in, and like all the phone calls before they were here to ask about the sex tape. Given that the timestamp for the video was smack in the middle of my time spent with that first Tri-Delt pledge class, and that they were well aware that Adrienne and I spent a good amount of time going out of our way to destroy women together during that semester, the three of them were already convinced of the video's authenticity. They of course were rather curious about the mystery masked brunette, but I gave them the same line about not revealing my ex-lovers' identities, and they grudgingly accepted that.

But even though the Tri-Delts' visit was spurred by the sex tape, our conversation quickly digressed into a discussion regarding my current opinion of the sorority. After the whole Carli/Jaron/Dawn debacle, I had made it clear that the Tri-Delts were on my shit list and I hadn't been in the mood for sorority visitors for the rest of that school year. But Carli had graduated and moved on, and over the course of this past semester, I had at least been friendly to the Tri-Delts I encountered, even if there weren't any hookups while I was first in my "Single" phase and then while dating DJ.

"But that was then," Andie said with a smile. "This is now. Word is that you and your girlfriend broke up. Word also is that while you've gone on a few dates with a classmate, that isn't a serious relationship and so you're still a free agent. Is that true?"

I arched an eyebrow, sensing where Andie was going with this. "That's true enough."

"And do you still hold a grudge against the sorority, or its members?"

"Grudge? No, no. I don't blame the three of you for what happened, nor any other Tri-Delts. I'd like to think that we're still on friendly terms."

Andie exchanged smirking looks with Lakhi and Tonya before returning her attention to me. "And just how do you define... 'friendly'?"

Now certain of where this discussion was going, I leaned back and stretched my arms across the top of the couch. With a bit of a confident smirk myself, I replied warmly, "As friendly as you girls want it to be."

All three of them giggled, and the upshot is: I had to call Casey back and cancel. Maybe next week. I had a few visitors in my house, and would unfortunately be unavailable tonight. Casey took it in stride; no commitment, no expectations.

So no Casey. No Carolyn. No Chevelle. No Brooke or DJ. Adrienne was gone, and Kim was at home with her family. But I didn't feel lonely when I fell asleep that Saturday night.

Not with three different naked girls in my bed.

-- SUNDAY, JANUARY 29, 2006, SENIOR YEAR --

My Sunday morning went pretty much the same way as Saturday morning, with two distinct exceptions. First, the Tri-Delts stuck around for breakfast after our morning foursome. In fact, they were so impressed with my culinary skills that Tonya decided I needed a thank you blowjob right there at the dining table.

Second, Kim called me mid-blowjob. Part of me figured I could let the call go to voicemail and finish busting my nut, but then again, Kim calling me over the weekend was an extreme rarity. Usually she simply took off Friday night and then came back Sunday evening like she'd never left. And when I stopped to wonder just why Kim might go out of her way to call me on a Sunday morning, it suddenly hit me.

I pulled Tonya off me and stood up quickly, walking away from the dining table as I opened up the phone to answer the call. Sure enough, I was right.

Kim's voice was calm, but excited, as she said, "I'm pregnant."

I slowed down my new Triumph and made a right turn into the driveway of the slightly familiar suburban house. Having been here once before, it certainly looked like the right place, but I double-checked the street address just the same to be sure.

The ride down to Sunnyvale had taken about an hour, the longest time I'd ever continuously spent on a motorcycle. Once I flipped out the kickstand and dismounted the bike, I found that my legs were a little wobbly as I struggled to find my equilibrium. Maybe I should have driven the Mustang down, but then again, the Triumph was a brand new bike and I couldn't resist bringing it down knowing how fond Kim's family was of motorcycles.

Walking gingerly, I made my way to the front door and rang the bell. Moments later, it opened and Kim reached up to hug me, kissing my cheek and greeting, "I'm so glad you're here, boyfriend."

The emphasis on the term reminded me that to her family, I was Kim's boyfriend. We certainly weren't going to try and explain that she was merely my sexual-submissive who I'd impregnated on purpose. Sliding my hand through hers, I let her lead me inside to the living room while I leaned over and whispered, "You still haven't told them?"

"No, not yet."

I nodded. Kim's period had been due only yesterday, and when it didn't come this morning she'd taken the pregnancy test. She'd called me immediately, and I'd suggested that I come down to tell her family together. Usually, all three of her brothers returned home each week for Sunday lunch, including the eldest John and his wife and son. Kim figured it was as good a time as any to make the announcement.

Both of us were still rather amazed that she'd caught on the first try. True, I'd flooded her womb with quite a lot of sperm over the last couple of weeks, but many couples trying to have a baby can go months or even longer without success. Apparently, though, we weren't one of those, and our dream was already starting to come true.

I hadn't spent much time on the phone with her, since the Tri-Delts were still hanging around. I'd apologized and told them that something had come up. Tonya insisted on finishing her blowjob at least, but I'd waved her off and sent the girls on their way with a promise to hook up some other time. And then I'd hustled to change and hop on the bike for the ride down.

Now inside Kim's house, I looked around and asked, "Is anyone else home?"

She shook her head. "Not right now. My dad went to the market to pick up supplies for today's lunch. Nick and Mike are both out doing ... whatever. And John won't be here until noon."

"So we have a little time to talk."

Kim nodded.

"Are they expecting me? Did you tell anyone I was coming?"

"Just my Dad. I couldn't have you show up out of the blue. But he doesn't know anything, not yet."

"So how do you want to do this? I'm perfectly fine with making the announcement, but this is your family and it would be best if you could tell me how you think they'll react. Bottom line is that you're the baby sister, and this is going to shock the hell out of them. I know you've said that you won't marry me, but I'll want to assure everyone that I'll stand by you and take care of you."

"I know you will."

I smirked. "It's not you I'll need to convince."

Kim took a deep breath. "My dad will be the most difficult. He still has hopes for me to marry and give him grandchildren. Well, I AM giving him grandchildren, but he's not going to like the fact that we're not getting married right away."

I pursed my lips. "I still would, you know. Marry you."

Kim stroked my cheek. "I know you would. But that's not what is best for either of us, remember?"

I sighed. I still had a hard time wrapping my head around Kim and her mysterious motivations, but I did understand what she meant in this case. The reality was: I didn't love her; not in that way. I'd never felt the consuming romantic desire for her the way I'd felt for Dawn or Adrienne or even DJ. I would care for Kim, and I would protect her. We would live together and raise our child together, and any girlfriends I might have would simply have to understand that. Really, Kim and I would co-parent and cohabitate and do all the sorts of things married couples did, including sex, but we simply wouldn't BE married or share a 'marriage' kind of love.

"This is going to be tricky, then," I sighed. "So what do you think? We tell him that we're not rushing into a quickie marriage just for the sake of marriage? But that I'll remain your boyfriend and we'll raise the baby together and let the rest sort itself out in the future?"

Kim nodded. "It's all true enough, except perhaps for the 'boyfriend' title. But I agree that it's in my family's best interests that they see you in that role."

I shook my head ruefully. "They still think we broke up last May, don't they?"

"Well, we did."

"But they still think you and I are just friends and roommates, even now."

Kim nodded.

"So me being your boyfriend again is going to come as a shock."

Kim nodded.

"And if that's a shock, telling them you're pregnant..."

Kim gave me a shrug and a smile. "It's what I want. It's what you want, isn't it?"

"It is." I nodded warmly and pulled her into a hug. "Thank you, Kim. I don't think I've ever said that to you properly. Thank you for doing this for me. You have no idea what this means to me."

"Family. A future. I know exactly what it means to you, and what it means to ME. I finally get to have you the way I always wanted you. Thank you."

I pulled my head back and looked into her eyes for a moment. They were moist with happy tears forming, and suddenly seizing her head I tilted it and planted a firm, passionate kiss right on her lips.

"Whoaaa ... I walked in here at the WRONG moment," Mike suddenly said from behind me.

Kim and I abruptly jerked apart, like we were teenagers caught necking by her parents. Kim blushed and averted her eyes, but Mike was grinning at us.

"Hey, Ben," he greeted. "So ... I guess this means you two got back together?"

I raised both eyebrows, and with a bemused smile I glanced back at Kim and replied, "Something like that."

Mike had just returned home, and since he'd immediately noticed the Triumph parked out front, he'd come inside expecting to find company. True, he hadn't expected to find me sucking face with his little sister, but since we'd already met he didn't give me much grief and instead dragged us both outside to check out the bike in greater detail.

I explained that Kim had helped me pick it out, and Mike gave his sister some crap for picking a British bike instead of Japanese. Then, the two siblings started jabbering back and forth in gearhead that might as well have been Klingon for as well as I understood it. Mostly, I knew that my new bike cornered like a dream and could go really, really fast.

I was in the middle of explaining that Kim had taught me everything I knew about motorcycles, and that I'd only gotten my license recently, when Nick returned home. He, too, would rather spend more time inspecting my new ride instead of questioning my presence. To date, I was still the only boy Kim had ever brought home, and it was apparently quite acceptable for her to be dating me once again.

Although Kim had told her father I was coming, he still seemed surprised that I'd come, and he didn't care much about the bike. When he returned home, he greeted me politely and then all five of us went inside. Without a single other word to me, he ordered Kim to follow him into the kitchen where the two of them started preparing lunch. Mike and Nick took me into the living room where the three of us sat down and started talking football. Sure, they asked when Kim and I got back together again (right when the new semester started), but otherwise they left any questions about Kim's and my relationship status alone and kept things casual.

Five minutes after twelve, the third brother arrived with his family in tow. Junsaku "John" Fukuzaki was 28 and married to a pretty blonde named Mary. Mike kept calling their 3-year-old son 'Jesus' as a joke, something Mary wasn't too happy about while John merely rolled his eyes at what apparently had gotten old two days after the kid had been born. The boy's real name was Samuel.

Since John and his family had never met me, he and his wife sat down and gave me the Girlfriend's Big Brother Interrogation (TM). I took it in stride, knowing I'd want to do the same thing for any of Brooke's, Eden's, or Emma's potential beaus. Meanwhile, Nick and Mike played with Samuel and kept the kid occupied.

John and Mary already knew the basics: that Kim brought me home almost exactly a year ago, that we'd broken up last May, and yet she'd returned to be a roommate in my house. While declining to comment on my other romantic activities, I explained that Kim and I had only gotten back together a few weeks ago upon our return to school after Winter Break. We then segued into the usual topics: my major, my career prospects, and my family. John seemed to be impressed that I had both a standing job offer from BioGen as well as had been accepted into the MBA program at Berkeley. Since Professor Isakova had spurred me to apply during the first round, my acceptance had been mailed to me about a week before this semester started. Mary, on the other hand, wanted to know more about growing up with four sisters since she'd been an only child.

They kept me talking up until Mr. Fukuzaki came out and announced that lunch was ready. We took our places, with Mr. Fukuzaki at the head of the table and John, Mary, and Samuel down his right side. Nick, Mike, and Kim sat down the left side, and I was given the spot at the end. Mr. Fukuzaki stood and rather formally welcomed me back to their home. I stood up as well, and thanked him for his hospitality and that of his children, who were exceptionally well-mannered. He smiled at that, and I sat down before I had any further opportunities to say something stupid.

Lunch went by smoothly, and was as delicious as my first meal at the Fukuzaki residence. Everyone kept up a casual conversation, except for Kim, as expected. She replied when spoken to, but was otherwise mute. Nobody thought this was unusual, and I didn't try to force the issue. But toward the end of the meal, when most of the food was gone but before anyone made any indications of getting up, Kim reached over and rubbed my leg.

I glanced over to her, and she nodded at me. I took that as my cue, and cleared my throat before stating in a strong voice, "Kim and I have an announcement to make."

The conversations died down, and Mr. Fukuzaki sat up straighter. Mike looked like he wanted to make some joking comment, but he managed to keep a straight face and simply looked over at me.

I briefly thought about attempting to preface the announcement. Ever since Kim first told me over the phone, I'd been trying to figure out how to tell her family the news. But in the end, I decided that Mr. Fukuzaki was a straight-shooter who appreciated directness, and so I stood up straight, I looked straight down the table at him, and I said in a calm voice, "Kim is pregnant."

"WHAT?!?" John blurted instantly, and he wasn't the only one. Nick and Mike verbally expressed equal shock, with Nick's response being four-letter word that starts with 'F'.

Mike then elbowed his brother and commented, "Yes, I'm pretty sure that's how it happened."

I'm not sure how Mary or Kim herself reacted, because my attention was entirely on Mr. Fukuzaki at the head of the table. His jaw clenched momentarily at my announcement, but he didn't otherwise move. Instead, he held my gaze, and I didn't dare to break it. With his eyes, I could feel him measuring me, and I was determined to measure up.

Around us, the questions started flying. Mike sat next to Kim, and he immediately started interrogating her with Nick right behind him. John animatedly discussed the news with his wife. But all the while, Mr. Fukuzaki and I kept staring at each other. I tried to project confidence and strength, and reassure Kim's father with my eyes that I would take care of his only daughter. But the longer we kept up this staring contest, the more my own nerves began to creep into the back of my head.

Thankfully, he averted his eyes first. Taking a deep breath, he looked down and gathered himself. And a moment later, he stood.

Everyone else at the table shut up.

"Please, Benjamin. Sit."

While his tone was firm, he didn't quite order me. Still, I dropped my ass into the chair immediately.

"Kimiko?" he began, looking over at his daughter. "This is true?"

Kim blinked and then nodded her head. "Hai," she replied quietly while continuing to keep her eyes fixed on the table in front of her.

"How long?"

"I took the test this morning."

Beside her, I could see Mike doing the math in his head. I'd told Kim's brothers that we'd only gotten back together at the beginning of the semester. Well, the beginning of the semester had only been two weeks ago. I must have knocked up his little sister right away.

"You are keeping the baby?" Kim's father asked.

Kim nodded. "Hai."

Mr. Fukuzaki turned back to face me. "You will marry her." It was NOT a question.

"Father..." Kim interrupted and looked up before re-fixing her eyes on her plate. "No."

The shock on Mr. Fukuzaki's face was evident. I'd be willing to bet he could count on one hand the number of times his daughter had ever said 'no' to him, and he certainly wasn't expecting that response now.

"Kimiko!" he stated much more brusquely. "You carry his child. You will marry him!"

"Father..." Kim squeezed her eyes shut and started trembling. I couldn't imagine what was going through her head right now, but it was clear that it was just as hard for her to actually say 'no' to him as it was for him to hear it. He had been her Master for a lifetime. For her to refuse him had to be terribly difficult, no matter what she wanted for herself. Her jaw flapped open soundlessly for a moment before she managed to choke out once more, "No."

I spoke up, saying, "Sir, we're simply not at that point in our relationship just yet. We've only just gotten back together."

He pivoted on his heel and brought the full weight of his almost regal bearing upon me. "This is your idea? You are not willing to marry her?!?"

"It's not that," I replied hastily.

"He asked me," Kim suddenly interrupted. "He asked me to marry him. I refused."

"Refused? Kimiko, why?"

"I'm twenty-one. I'm still in college."

"You will be graduated in four months. And you are pregnant!"

"I do not wish to be married."

"You must! For the child!"

"This is the 21st Century, Father. I don't have to be married to raise a child."

"And she won't raise it alone," I added firmly. "We'll live together and raise the baby together. I've promised to stand by her, to take care of her."

"That is NOT your job," Mr. Fukuzaki bit out roughly, glaring balefully at me. "I am her father. It is MY job."

"Father ... Please..." Kim's voice wavered.

"If you want that job," he growled, eyes fixed on me. "Then you will marry her."

"Sir, I understand what you mean, but--"

"Kimiko!" he interrupted, turning his attention back to his daughter. In a slow, deliberate cadence that enunciated each word, he growled in heavily-accented English, "You said he asked you to marry him. You will now tell him 'yes'."

"Father ... no." Kim's voice cracked.

"YES!"

Kim now sobbed and shook her head. "No."

The motion came so abruptly that it startled everyone. Kim's father had already turned and stalked away three or four steps before I even realized he'd smacked his fist down on the table, hard enough to rattle every plate, glass, and silverware on top of it. Kim was openly crying now, as was Samuel, actually. And with her father's back turned I immediately stooped and gathered Kim in my arms.

Kneeling next to her chair, I cradled Kim against my chest and stroked her hair. "It's alright," I soothed. "It'll be alright."

Kim's father turned around, his face having returned to its previous state of impassivity. He seemed to have let go of his anger with that smack against the table, and even though I was no longer standing, I found it easier to meet his gaze.

"I do not understand," he stated in a calmer tone, staring not at me but at his daughter in my arms. "All I ever wanted for you was to marry and raise a family of your own. Now it is here for you. He is willing. Why do you not say 'yes'?"

Kim didn't respond, still crying against my chest.

"Do you not love him?"

She took a deep breath before tilting her face back to look up at me. And despite her shivering, she stated clearly, "I love him. I always have."

"Then why do you say 'no'?"

Kim and I stared at each other for a long moment. I wanted desperately to salvage the situation, for her sake if nothing else. But what could I really tell them? That I didn't love Kim as a wife? Yeah, that would fly really well. That I still hoped to find my romantic equal in someone else, even while raising a child with her? Sure, try telling your baby mama's father THAT. Maybe it WOULD be best to simply marry Kim, to raise our child together, and perhaps in time I would come to love her the way she deserved. OR, if I did finally meet my "one", a divorce might not be the worst thing in the world.

But just as I started to cling to that idea, Kim sat up straight and gently pushed me away. I stood beside her, one hand on her shoulder as she looked up at her father. And while patting my hand on her shoulder, she took a deep breath and explained, "Because I do not want him to marry me only because I am pregnant. If we would ever marry, I would want to know he is my husband solely because he loves me, and not because I carried his child. Our first relationship was short, and it ended for reasons that made sense at the time. This new relationship has only existed for a few weeks. And really, can any couple know they are ready to be married after only a few weeks?"

Her answer was perfectly logical. We were still early in our relationship and it was too soon to know if we were ready to settle down permanently and be married. Really, if it weren't for the pregnancy then nobody would even question why we weren't ready to get married yet.

And yet that still wasn't good enough for Kim's father.

"You are asking me to let him take care of you, and to let him raise a child with you, without being married to him," he stated gruffly. "I can't allow that."

"Father..."

"I realize that you are a legal adult, and that by law you can do whatever you want. But you are also my daughter, and I say that if you do not marry him, then you cannot BE with him."

"Father?" Kim's head pulled back, an expression of confusion crossing her face.

"I am giving you a choice: marry him or leave him."

"What are you saying?"

"You are my daughter. You are my only daughter, my precious flower. You are my last memory of your mother, and I cannot risk that you come to harm. If you marry him, then you will become his wife and he will be bound by law, god, and nature to care for you. Then, and only then, will I be able to let you go. But if you do not marry him, then I cannot trust him or anyone else to take care of you and protect you. I cannot trust anyone to watch over you and the baby you carry. You will move home. You will stop riding motorcycles. I will watch over and protect you. And..." Mr. Fukuzaki took a deep breath, "he will no longer be your boyfriend."

"Now wait a minute," I started angrily. "You can't--"

"She is my daughter," Mr. Fukuzaki cut me off.

"She will be the mother of my child," I shot back just as harshly, firm in my belief that my position trumped his. "You can't simply tell her to stop seeing me."

"I can. And I will."

"She loves me."

"And do you love her?" he growled, leaning forward and planting both hands on the dining table. His eyes narrowed accusingly, and with a snarl in his voice he asked, "Do you love her? Or is she simply another vagina to fill?"

My head snapped back in surprise. "WHAT?"

John raised a hand to his father's arm. "Dad..."

Mr. Fukuzaki jerked his arm away from John. "Is that why she will not marry you? Because she does not believe you share the same depth of feeling for her?"

I blanched, feeling him hit so close to home. The problem was: he recognized it and he pounced.

"You do not deserve my daughter!" he shouted.

"Dad!" John barked.

"You will NOT marry her! I forbid it!"

"Father!" Kim now stood up as well.

"NO! NO-NO-NO-NO-NO!" Mr. Fukuzaki started banging the table again, in time with each 'NO!' The plates and silverware started clinking again.

"I will take care of her!" I insisted. "I have sworn it already!"

"That is not your right! It is MINE! And you are no longer welcome in this house!"

"Sir--"

"GET OUT!" he shouted.

"Please, just listen--"

"GET OUT!"

Mike was suddenly standing next to me, holding my shoulder and saying, "C'mon, man. Just let this one go."

"NO!" I shouted right back. "I won't leave her!"

"GET!!! OUT!!!"

"We'll talk to him," Mike assured me, his eyes big and his eyebrows raised. "We'll talk to him."

"Kim! Please!" I turned to look at the mother of my unborn child, but she stood stock still, her arms pressed straight against her sides and her head bowed. "Kim! Come with me!"

"NO! SHE STAYS!"

"Kim! Come with me!" I repeated, reaching forward and taking her hand in mine.

"SHE STAYS! KIMIKO! YOU WILL OBEY!"

Abruptly, Kim let go of my hand.

"Wait, no!" I whimpered, taking hold of her hand again. "Kim, please!"

She shook her hand free of mine again, finally turning and giving me a heartbroken look through red-rimmed eyes. "Just go," she half-whispered.

"Please!" I whimpered again.

Sadly, she bowed her head once more and shook it in the negative. And without looking back at me, she said again, "Just go."

I felt like a marionette whose strings had been cut. Slack-jawed and staring at her in disbelief, I let Mike hold my arm and tug me away from the table. Hot tears splattered down my cheeks, and I stared in horror at John and Mary and Samuel and Nick. They all looked back at me with looks of pity, except for Samuel who didn't like the screaming and was bawling himself into his mother's side.

And I stared at Kim. That last image of her would be burned into my retinas for a long time: her hunched posture, her defeated look, and her own tears of sorrow dripping down her face. I couldn't let that happen to her, so I struggled away from Mike and started back for the table.

But Kim's father bellowed one last time, "GET OUT!"

And worst of all, Kim held a hand up, palm out to me: the universal sign for 'stop'.

So I stopped. This was what Kim wanted. Faced with her father's commands and her desire to be with me, her father still won. So I let Mike lead me outside. And I let him rub my shoulders as I sat down on the first step and bent over to cry.

I didn't leave the premises for another hour. Mike stayed with me for nearly all of the time, doing his best to explain that his dad really just had Kim's best interests at heart and that he'd always been overprotective of her. I tried to impress upon him that I really did care about his little sister, and that I had every intention of taking care of her. I shared with him my idea that maybe it WAS best if Kim and I got married, and tried to reassure him that I'd never regret such an act. He listened well and I might have even had him convinced, but ultimately it wasn't his decision to make. In the end, I sent him inside to ask whether or not I could come back in and try to talk to them. But then he returned with an apologetic expression, saying that Kim herself had said that I should go home.

So I went home. And I called her. She didn't pick up.

I called her again. Still, she didn't pick up.

The third time I called her the phone line went live, but it was Mr. Fukuzaki who said, "Stop calling."

And then he hung up.

I looked around my empty house. No Kim. No Adrienne. No Brooke. No DJ. No Casey or Carolyn or even Chevelle. No Tri-Delts. No Sasha. No Bert.

Just me.

I cried myself to sleep.

-- MONDAY, JANUARY 30, 2006, SENIOR YEAR --

I slept in, and since I had no classes until the afternoon, it didn't really matter. Kim had not come home last night, and I wasn't entirely sure when I would see her again. We still had two classes together, Isakova's Econ course Monday/Wednesday/Friday, and our International Business elective Tuesdays and Thursdays, so I figured to see her this afternoon at the latest. But I still hoped that she might show up for lunch with our friends today, or perhaps even come by the house even earlier.

Fighting the urge to wallow in depression, I spent about an hour trying to figure out how this would all play out. Best case scenario: Kim talked her father into letting her come back to me and raise our child together the way we'd originally planned. Worst case scenario: Kim's father ordered her to move back home and avoid me at all costs, even on campus. I shuddered to think of seeing her walk into class and avoid my eyes, sit far away from me, and not even talk to me should I approach her. To know that Kim was carrying my baby – after everything I'd just gone through with DJ – and not be able to be a part of her life would be pure torture. I might just drop those two classes instead of facing her day after day without being able to interact with her.

I reasoned that the most likely result would be somewhere in-between. From the way Mr. Fukuzaki insisted that taking care of her was HIS responsibility and not mine, I presumed he would make Kim move back home. Yeah, commuting back and forth from Sunnyvale would be a killer, especially if he wouldn't let her ride the motorcycle anymore, but soldiering on through such inconveniences was exactly what Kim was about. Also, I figured he would order her to stop seeing me as a boyfriend. Perhaps it was a power play, or perhaps it was simple lack of trust in a man he barely knew and who he could blame for his unmarried daughter's 'condition'. History was filled with overprotective fathers ordering their daughters to not see some boy who was a bad influence or otherwise "unsavory", and those weren't even the fathers of naturally-submissive girls.

He'd command it, and she'd obey.

She loved me, but she'd obey.

Still, I hoped Mr. Fukuzaki would allow me to keep in touch with her, to remain friends with her at the very least. We still had two classes together, and the project team. Graduation was only a few months away, and it would be absolutely ridiculous for him to pull her from school entirely. So unless he started accompanying Kim onto campus, I would have the opportunity to at least make contact with her. And maybe, even if she were under orders to not interact with me, I would be able to talk my way past her defenses and get her to at least communicate. I could only hope that somewhere along the line, her dad would let me back into his daughter's life.

It was with this sense of purpose that I left the house just before noon and headed for my usual lunch rendezvous with Bert, Sasha, and Paige, hoping Kim would be there.

But she wasn't there.

And she didn't come to class.

And she didn't come to class on Tuesday, either.

-- TUESDAY, JANUARY 31, 2006, SENIOR YEAR --

"Okay, level with me, dude. What the HELL is going on with Kim?"

"Um, come on in." I stepped back from the front door and waved Bert and Sasha inside.

My best buddy glared at me but walked through the door, bumping me with his shoulder on the way. It wasn't intentional, but he didn't apologize either. Sasha gave me a shrug and a weak smile, but she followed after and I closed the door behind them.

It was Tuesday evening and the three of us were meeting at my house for dinner, as usual. Only I'd gotten lazy tonight and simply ordered pizza, delivery from the local Papa John's.

Despite his apparent impatience for some kind of explanation for Kim's continued absence, Bert's stomach had priority and he'd already popped open the box of half-meat lover's and half-Hawaiian and stuffed a slice into his mouth. Sasha went into the kitchen, retrieving plates and a knife and fork for herself before returning to the dining table and handing over one of the plates to Bert.

He chewed, swallowed, and then set the remainder of his slice onto the plate before fixing me with a look. "Well?"

"Well let's start with how much you know," I began.

"Nothing. I know nothing," he growled before taking a deep breath and then verbally proving otherwise. "I know that Kim isn't showing up to classes, and that she's not answering my phone calls. I know that she's only replied to my multiple texts twice today, one of them telling me she's not sure when she's returning to class and the other telling me that no, she's not sick. That's it! That's all!"

I sighed and rubbed my forehead. My own stress levels had been slowly ratcheting up with each passing hour that Kim didn't return. On Monday, my friends had asked if I knew Kim's whereabouts when she didn't show up for lunch, and I'd explained that she hadn't come home from her dad's house yet but that I'd been in contact with her and knew she was alright. I'd started to worry when she didn't show up for class as well, but then Bert texted her and she'd immediately replied to him that she wasn't coming today but thought she'd be back on Tuesday.

Only she didn't show up on Tuesday. I'd called in the morning, only to find that again she wasn't picking up her phone. Bert had been a little more proactive about texting her, and to be honest, they had been closer friends for these past couple of years than I had been with her. I suppose it only made sense that HE'D at least gotten two text replies today, while my inbox was still empty.

"Dude... level with me," Bert intoned before picking up his pizza and taking a big bite out of it, almost as if he'd rather be taking a bite out of me. And with a full mouth he added, "I KNOW you know something."

I glanced over at Sasha, who simply shrugged and looked at me expectantly. And then with one more sigh, I hung my head and decided to go ahead and explain. If I couldn't talk to these two about this, who ELSE could I talk to?

"Kim's pregnant," I said quietly.

"WHAT?!?" Bert practically spat out a chunk of food. Sasha merely coughed and covered her mouth while looking down.

I grimaced and nodded my confirmation.

"Dude, you must seriously have super-sperm or something," Bert scoffed before fixing me with an angry look. "How far along is she? And when the hell did you two start fucking again? Has it been all year and I just never noticed? Does DJ know?"

"She just found out Sunday morning. And no, we weren't ... having sex ... all year. It was only since coming back to school a few weeks ago. After DJ left me. And no, DJ doesn't know yet. I haven't figured out how to tell her. Been kinda busy with this Kim thing."

"What IS this Kim thing?"

I looked at the ceiling for a moment and shook my head. "I drove down to her dad's house Sunday for lunch. We told her whole family the news. The upshot is that he ordered me out of his house, told her she was staying home, and that she couldn't see me anymore."

"Ordered? She's a grown adult. She can do what she wants!"

"He's her father. What she WANTS to do is obey him, at least right now." I sighed. "I figured he'd at least let her come back to school, but that hasn't happened yet. I've been calling and texting her, too. But I've gotten nothing. Your two texts are two more than I've received."

Sasha spoke up. "Is she ever coming back?"

I shrugged helplessly. "I don't know."

"So what the hell are you still doing here?" Bert stared accusingly at me. "Drive back there. Bang down the door. Get her back!"

I shook my head sadly. "She's texting you, so she has access to a phone, but she's not responding to ME. What do you think that means?"

Sasha answered, "That she's still under orders to not contact you. Either that or she doesn't WANT to contact you."

"Do you think she's getting an abortion?" Bert asked.

"I don't know."

"Do you think she's alright?" Sasha asked.

"I don't know." I sighed. "I don't know anything more than you do at this point."

"Shit." Bert set down his pizza and paced around before picking his head up. "Maybe -I- should drive down and talk to her."

I picked my head up. "Would you do that?"

"Sure. Totally. I need to know what's going on as much as you do." He then gave me a strange look. "Well, maybe not as MUCH as you do, but there's a better chance that Kim's dad will let me in the front door than you."

"You're probably right."

"Alright then." Bert stooped and picked up his backpack. "Give me a ride to the BART station? I'll pick up my car at home and drive over right away."

I nodded. "Thanks, Bert. This really means a lot to me."

"I'm not doing it just for you," he said before catching himself and looking back at me. "I'm not in love with her; you should know that. Lynne means the world to me. But Kim's my friend, and I know she's in love with YOU. I'm doing this for her."

"Of course."

Sasha came out from the kitchen with a Tupperware container; I hadn't even noticed she'd left. Throwing in two slices of meat lover's along with Bert's half-eaten slice, she capped the lid and handed it off to Bert along with a couple of paper towels. "For the BART ride."

Bert blinked and smiled. "Thanks. Aren't you coming?"

Sasha shook her head. "No, I'm not going home yet. I'll stick around here and keep Ben company. There's stuff we need to talk about."

Bert's eyebrows popped, and I'm sure the thought entered his head that Sasha might want to fuck me. But he shook his head and stuffed the Tupperware rather awkwardly into his backpack, just barely managing to close the zipper shut. And then he looked up at me. "Let's roll."

I returned to the house to find the Hawaiian-side of the pizza two slices down and Sasha tucked into a corner of a couch, her shoes on the floor and legs pulled up underneath a forest green microfleece throw blanket. She had a textbook in her hands, but once she saw me she immediately set the book down on the coffee table and pulled her knees up toward her chest beneath the blanket, wrapping her arms around them. "Hey..." she began casually.

"Hey," I replied while heading for the pizza box. It was the first time Sasha had been alone with me for a long time. Even last Thursday, when we'd made the sex tape, Adrienne was with us. But sex was the last thing on my mind right now. I collected a slice of each type onto a plate and then sat down on the couch, just a little bit in front of her.

Immediately, her toes snaked out from beneath the blanket and buried themselves beneath my leg for extra warmth. I reached out and tugged the blanket over her feet and my right leg, covering up her cold toes even further.

"Are you okay?" she asked carefully.

I sighed and shook my head slowly. "No. No I'm not." And then I took a bite.

My attention was on my pizza, but I could feel Sasha's eyes on me. I figured she was measuring me, deciding whether or not I'd be willing to talk about the situation or if I'd rather be distracted into other subjects. In the end, she settled on asking, "So are you and Kim 'together'? Or is it just a physical thing?"

"It's complicated," I said around a mouthful.

"With you, everything is complicated."

I snorted and shook my head ruefully. "Ain't that the truth."

Sasha went quiet, and I finished my bite, and then another. At length, she spoke up again. "Bert said that Kim's in love with you. I have to admit: I didn't know that."

I shrugged. "Kim keeps her emotions pretty close to the vest. I'm sure not many people knew. Bert's simply known us both from the beginning."

"For how long? I mean, how long have you known she felt that way?"

"Since last year."

"But you only got together with her a few weeks ago?"

"No, actually. We ... dated isn't the right term ... But I considered her my girlfriend for a few months last year."

"Last year? While you were with Dawn?"

I nodded. "February to May."

"And Dawn knew about you two?"

I nodded.

"Where the hell was I while this was happening?"

"Right next to us," I said with a chuckle. "We were all on the same project team together."

"But ... but..."

"Like I said: Kim keeps her emotions pretty close to the vest."

"But you two broke up."

I sighed. "When Dawn dumped me. Long story. Again, it's--"

"Complicated," Sasha finished for me. "But you weren't together when we started the school year, were you?"

I shook my head. "No."

"And you weren't sleeping with her, either? Even casually, the way you were with Paige and DJ?"

I shook my head again. "No."

"And then you get together with DJ and then break up with DJ and come back to school and then bam, you and Kim are together?"

"I told you: It's--"

"I know, I know. It's complicated."

"Is that why you wouldn't hook up with me when I came onto you a couple of weeks ago? Out of loyalty to Kim?"

"No, no. Two completely separate issues."

"So she'd have been okay with it. Shit, the sex tape. Kim was okay with that?"

"Of course. She was right here with us planning it out, wasn't she?"

Sasha shook her head slowly. "So wait, were you together with her or not?"

"Yes and no."

"That's not an answer."

"We were fucking. We both cared about each other, more than simple booty calls. But she wasn't my girlfriend. That spell it out for you enough?"

Sasha frowned and hugged her knees a little more tightly. She looked cute with her eyebrows furrowed and her jaw set like that, and I shook my head while shoving the rest of my slice into my mouth.

I was just about finished with it when she spoke up again. "And the pregnancy. I mean, if she just took the test on Sunday, that meant she would have gotten knocked up two weeks or so ago, right when we all got back to school. Right when you broke up with DJ."

"Yeah, we're pretty sure that's when it happened."

"An accident? A birth control or condom failure?"

I shook my head, taking a deep breath before deciding whether or not I wanted to reveal this part. But like I had so many times with Sasha in recent months, I felt like confessing all. Again, I didn't really have anyone else I could talk to, and having shared so much about my life and history with her already, I didn't have much hesitation to do so again. "It was intentional. She told me she wasn't protected, but we both want to have a baby."

"Wait, WHAT?" Sasha bolted upright, and slid her legs out and to the side so she could lean in closer to me.

I sighed. "It's a long and complicated story."

Sasha stared at me, shaking her head ruefully while nevertheless smirking. "You're an entire daytime soap opera rolled up into one person, you know that?"

I snorted and shrugged helplessly. "Yes ... Yes I do."

"Well if you're willing to share it, I've got the time. So you and Kim WANT to have a baby. THIS story I've GOT to hear."

I did a lot of talking, and Sasha asked a lot of questions. I started off trying to figure out how to explain the situation without giving away too many of Kim's personal details, but in the end there wasn't much left unsaid. After years and years of safeguarding the secrets of my various lovers from those who didn't need to know, I certainly had turned into an open book (well, open little black book) when it came to Sasha. Maybe I simply understood deep down that I could trust her. Maybe I simply needed a confidante with Keira, Adrienne, Dawn, Brandi, and even Brooke out of my life. Whatever the reason, over the next two hours Sasha pretty much extracted the whole enchilada out of me, and I was thoroughly exhausted.

Sasha's inclusion now raised the number of people on campus who knew of Kim's submissive nature to six: me, Viktoriya, Brooke, DJ, Grace, and now Sasha. Not even Bert, who had become one of Kim's closest friends, knew the details about it; or if he did, he hadn't let on that he knew to me. As far as he'd known, my relationship last year with Kim had simply been as her boyfriend, not a Master.

About the only thing I didn't tell Sasha about was Viktoriya. Her role had been tangential enough to Kim's and my relationship that I was able to not really mention her. Sure, I told Sasha that Kim had first become my roommate while we were both interning with Professor Isakova, but that's it. Better to not implicate my professor that way.

But Sasha now knew about Kim's love for me, and about my perceptions of Kim's relationship with her father. I had explained my understanding for why Kim (A) wanted kids and (B) wanted kids with me, even though she didn't want to marry me. It was a tough concept to wrap one's head around, but Sasha proved quite open-minded about it. And once she got a basic understanding of Kim's nature, she got it.

But the other side of the equation was my desire to have a kid with Kim, even though I didn't want to marry her. That required me going back over my relationship with DJ, and sharing things about how that relationship fell apart as well. I'd talked about family and safety and security, and how I had prepared myself to be a father only to find out at the last minute that DJ was changing her mind. And once Sasha understood THAT, she was finally on the same page as me.

"When you broke up with DJ, she demanded that you choose: Family at all costs? Or the true love of your life?" Sasha reasoned. "With Kim, you could end up with both."

"Basically ... yeah. Only I didn't figure on Kim's father not letting her go. As much as Kim loves me, he's been the controlling influence for her entire life. Forced to choose between me and him, I apparently didn't stand a chance."

"But she's pregnant, and you're the father. That's not going to go away," Sasha said before blanching. "Uh, well unless her dad decides on abortion."

I squeezed my eyes shut and held my head. "Gah. I don't even want to think that. I'm not sure I could go through that again."

Sasha rubbed my back gently and soothed, "It's okay. It'll be okay."

"Yeah, well I'll feel better if I ever get confirmation about that. Seriously, the worst part of this whole ordeal is not knowing. Not knowing how she's doing. Not knowing when I'll see her again. And not knowing whether he'll make her abort the baby or not. Just ... the unknown ... It's terrifying."

"Well, Bert should have gotten there by now. Even if they try to shut him out, he'll worm his way in there and find out something."

I managed a weak smile. "Yeah, Bert's persistent like that."

In the end, I decided that I needed a drink. Sasha worried that alcohol probably wasn't the best idea for me, but I reassured her that I meant a glass of water for my throat parched by two hours of talking, and then a cup of coffee for the caffeine rush.

"I'll take care of it," she assured me, patting my knee. And then she slipped her shoes back on and got up.

I sagged against the backrest, taking deep breaths to calm myself and trying to not wonder about Kim. Sasha brought me a glass of water and started the coffee maker. She also put away the few leftover slices of pizza into another Tupperware container. I'd actually never made it past the first slice, but I wasn't feeling very hungry right now. There had simply been too much on my mind.

But thankfully, somebody decided to finally put me out of my misery. Bert called, and I was instantly on the phone while Sasha re-emerged from the kitchen.

"Hey man, what's going on?" I asked while thumbing on the speakerphone and setting my handset onto the coffee table. Sasha came and sat beside me.

"You want the good news or the bad news first?"

"Uh, good."

"Well they let me in, and I got to talk to both Kim and her dad. I put in a good word for you, and the good news is that Kim's keeping the baby and they will let you be a part of their lives once the kid is born."

"That's great news." I sighed with relief and shared a smile with Sasha. "What's the bad news."

"The bad news..." Bert took a deep breath, and when his voice returned, it was noticeably quieter. "The bad news is that Kim's dad is pulling her from school, and he's forbidding you from having any contact with her until then."