1 Wish upon the lake

Feeling cold and scared, that's how I'd describe my current situation. My brothers have left me in a terrible place, and I had believed that we would grow close, just as their mother had hoped. But now, I'm left wondering if my trust in them was foolish.

They had hurt me before, yet I still chose to follow them. Is it because of the glimmer of hope in my heart? I don't want to give up on them. I yearn for their acceptance and for us to be a true family. It seems like I have been abandoned again.

The first time was when my biological mother left me on a bench on my seventh birthday. I can still recall her smile as she promised to buy me mango ice cream. However, the pat on my head was the last warmth I received from her.

The second moment was when my uncle sold me to his boss for a mere thousand. I begged and knelt until my knees bled, but it wasn't enough. That's all I seemed to be worth to him.

The third was when the boss confined me in a warehouse with other unfortunate kids, telling me I was of no use anymore. Two days later, the police arrived and rescued all the children, but I was the only one without anyone to cry for me.

While the other kids were embraced by their parents, I didn't have that. The jealousy I felt then was unbearable. I longed for what they had, but I knew I wouldn't receive such love and care in this lifetime.

I was fortunate to be adopted by Mr. and Mrs. Rostov. They have been kind to me, providing clothing, care, and the illusion that I'm truly a part of their family. For the first time in a long while, I feel genuinely happy.

However, that happiness was short-lived. When their three sons returned from their grandparents' house, they would act kind and loving in front of their parents. However, when left alone with me, the torment and humiliation they inflicted upon me became unimaginable.

Yet, I don't hate them. And even if I did, my hatred for them could never match the depths of self-loathing I feel.

I'm ugly and unworthy. Someone undeserving of love and care. I am someone who feels I won't succeed because I lack talent. A pathetic idiot, a waste of air and space - that's how I see myself.

As I sank deeper into self-pity and depression, a small light appeared in front of me - a firefly. I lightly poked it with my index finger, expecting it to fly away, but it didn't budge.

"Why aren't you leaving? Do you want to stay with me here? I'm sorry, but I'm afraid it won't be much fun," I said to the firefly, looking at it with wonder. It must be nice to have a light built into your body.

Shaking my head to clear my wandering mind, I hugged my legs and just stared at the only light I could see. It was small and cute, but somehow it made me feel less alone.

Did they really leave me here? My body still hurts from all the beatings I've endured. My stomach's rumbling isn't helping either.

"A warm meal would be nice," I whispered, hoping that God would hear me.

The little bug flew in circles, as if trying to tell me something. "I don't understand, do you want me to go with you?" I asked, speaking whatever was on my innocent mind.

The tiny light moved ahead, and I followed. I could feel the earth beneath my feet as we continued. That's right, they took my shoes too.

Honestly, I didn't know where it would take me, but I chose not to be bothered by it. Nothing mattered to me now. Even if I died while following a firefly, no one would care anyway.

Our little adventure came to an end when we arrived in front of a beautiful lake. The water was clear, and the moon's reflection shimmered on its surface. Fish swam lazily, and the sounds of frogs and insects filled the air.

A gentle breeze caressed my face as I gazed at the beauty before me. Was this the lake they were talking about earlier? They had mentioned going to the lake after beating me up.

I looked around, but there was no one else in sight. A sigh of relief escaped my lips. There was no way I could endure any more. I might really die if they punched and kicked me again.

My attention returned to the lake. What did they say about this lake again? Oh, right! They said that this lake could only be seen by special people. They also said that this lake would grant what the heart truly wants.

However, I'm not a special person. I'm plain, ugly, and stupid. All I can do is cook and clean. But since it showed up to me, perhaps there's a reason. The lake probably took pity on me.

I went near it and sat down. I hugged my legs while staring at the reflection of the moon. "Since you showed yourself to me, should I be greedy? Can I really get what my heart truly wants if I share it with you?" A small tear ran down my face as I spoke my wish to the mysterious yet beautiful lake.

"I want someone to care for me and love me for eternity. Can you grant it? That's the only wish I have."

After that, I don't remember the details anymore. All I know is that a rescue team arrived and brought me out of the cold and dark place. The beautiful lake was probably a trick that my mind created to distract me from hunger and loneliness.

Mr. and Mrs. Rostov didn't come until the very end of my hospital confinement. After being discharged, I was brought back to the orphanage. The Rostov family had left for another country, as I was informed by one of the nuns. That made it the fifth time I had been abandoned.