"Cold Eyes"

This is a girl's story. It is a tragic story but is true. She was born into a wealthy family. This girl is the youngest daughter of her family. This girl has thick eyes and nice smile with sweet dimple on her face that's a sign of happiness. The most prominent and beloved daughter of her parents and three elder sisters. She had a very happy and unique memory of her childhood. She had a lovely childhood full of picnics, parties, and lots of trips. She liked to play alone. One of his favorite activities that when she used to play as a teacher in her room. As well as she was very fond of collecting toys. Her life in school was very delicate, finicky and stubborn. His childhood spent like that:

"When she had No Dream in her Eyes

When she had No Worry in her Mind

When she had No Grief at her Side

When she had No Wish to Fly in Wind

When she had No Tension in her Life

When she had No Tears People's of Behind

When Nobody Want To Make her Crying

When Nobody Talk With her Lie

When she had Feel like a Butterfly

When she had Enjoying with All

But Nobody Became a her Life

She misses her Childhood days"

Some teachers in school time came like her parents in her life those who loved very much. She used to play very much with friends in school. She used to be angry with friends in bad things and bad talks. And on the next day she used to forget anger. Everyone in the house took care of her. She used to be a little scolding at her house from Mom and Sister But she still felt nothing. It was a fair time away from home matters. She did not know exactly what the family matter was. Her heart was so soft and generous that she also could not tolerate animal's tears.

"The window of her soul is open to light

She always seems happy and bubbly and bright

And her type of person a pleasure to know

For beauty goes with her where-ever she go.

A beautiful person with a heart of gold

And surely her story deserves to be told

Not proud of her beauty and free of conceit

And people like her one does not often meet."

The chain of love and kindness continued and the story came to the college. Her college life started very nervous and disturbed. She got new friends and new teachers with a new environment. But she was so sweet nature wise that friends became very soon. She was accustomed to staying in a new environment gradually. She used to enjoy a lot with friends in college. Lots of fun as well as lunch together with friends were the most favorite moment of her. Whenever a game was planned, she was always made a leader because she was very grateful. Computer science's teacher used to call her "Moulana sb." to love because she knew how to protect every girl in the class. She did not tolerate anybody problems because she did not have any pain in his life. If bad with any girl, she did not take a long time to help. Once she was sick, she had to admit in hospital. After recovery, her class did her warmly welcome when she came in college. That was a very beautiful moment for her. And in the matter of education, she did not know much about the importance of education so that she did not become part of the competition. Because she was very accustomed to love and care that got from family, friends and teachers. Love was everything in her eyes.

Then her story came to the university. In university, the field of Information Technology suited her personality. She had started a new career in Masters related her favorite field. She had really enjoyed herself in that environment. She met different kind of people in face of friends, teachers and others. She had amazed and surprised after observation about people. She had found a lot of love and happiness from that kind of people. After, she thought that time that "I'm amazing and wonderful person in the world because approximately every people love me". She had worked as a motivator and leading role in student management society in University. She had faced lightly disputes because of her levity. But many people saved her from trouble and disputes. Seeing all this, she became very self-confident and self-satisfied.

"She held a moment in her hand,

Brilliant as a star,

Fragile as a flower."

Her step and spirit reached to the MPhil degree. Her style in hijab with dress matching looked stunning every day. She won a great deal of respect from her class fellows and teachers. Her teachers used to call her a "shining star". Many people loved her but she loved to stay in her attitude. She felt really wonderful herself in that environment. His words inside her used to be something like this.

"I'm proud of myself because I never gave up.

I'm proud of myself because I stared fear in the face, and I know god is protecting me.

I'm proud of myself for releasing, crying, and feeling the emotions within my body.

I'm proud of myself for seeking answers, and always looking for a better way to live.

I'm proud of myself for making supreme progress.

I'm proud of myself for finding peace.

I'm proud of myself for asking for change.

I'm proud of myself for doing the best I can.

I'm proud of myself for hugging the tree.

I'm proud of myself for self-talking myself.

I'm proud I am sitting here today."

During the MPhil phase, her family got busy thinking about her marriage. Relation got confirmed according to family willingness. She was happy and excited about her future with that relation. She did a big mistake to adopt a world of fantasy. She was in a happy feeling that people will love her in a next life too. She did not know it that credulity when transforming into misconception, it hurts a lot.

The marriage time was near. Her first glimpse at the idea of charm was often introduced through fairytales when she was very young. These stories taught her one thing: "One day, she will meet a man who will rescue her". Her sisters and cousins were singing songs on the wedding day. She wore a beautiful fancy bridal dress – colored red – wearing make-up and jewellery was in high spirits and making plans for future life. But unfortunately all her happiness turned into nightmares.

She married an abusive man who had a severe psychological problem. She got to a stage where she didn't know what the truth was and what was a lie. Initially In-laws tried to show her a little better but very soon the drama was over. She did not even think about her husband's mind. Her In-laws used to steal her dowry stuff especially jewelry, cosmetics, money and dresses as well. They didn't give her any pocket money. As they used to steal the money that her father had given her. She did not have any evidence. And as well as her husband had entrap her in his love that time. That's why she could not understand the situation correctly. A demand of her in-laws regarding car gave her a lot of trouble. A lot of taunt or abusive language used against her caused a mental torture. So that she could not talk or ask about their actions. The worst part of being harassed by in-laws was to stopover her MPhil degree while her study had come at the ending stage. They put enough pressure on her that she could not complete her studies. Finally she had told her parents a bit regarding situation. Her family shocked to hear her pain. Her parents advised her that "she needs to handle the situation by all means using her abilities well". And also educated her that "if they disrespect you. Respect them. Do not lower your integrity for anyone". Basically she was a strong girl with a big heart with the spirit of nature. She does not dare because there was a strong support from the family behind her. And despite of pressure towards In-Laws she continued her studies.

Basically the chaos started when their illegal requirements were not fulfilled. Then they raised the fingers on her regarding gestation. Besides that her husband's real face came in front of her. He blamed her very dirty that "you meet there your lovers with whom you like to spend time so that you did not leave university" and also blamed that "her look is out of there, so she does not want to produce a child". That time was an intolerable and painful for her. She used to cry alone in the night. She had broken a bit for a moment but she dared soon. When she raised her voice to prove her clear character. Her husband thought that it's very important to close her voice so intimate partner violence continuously attempted on her in the forms of emotional, psychological, physical, or economic abuse. When her husband hit her, she concealed the bruises on face thinking that her love and silence will change him. But it didn't happen – and when he further crossed the limits, she told her parents.'

He pulled her hairs.

He slapped her face.

He kicked her on the floor.

There was blood on her face.

Everything hurt,

And all she could do was cry.

Her In-Laws knew all that but they kept having fun watching it all. They blamed her very much to harass connected to character assassination. They had a good chance to eradicate their frustration. When she saw that they were also destroying their daughter's house on the name of money, then she observed that these people were really cruel and greedy. She told her family the entire story. Her family asked her husband and In-Laws. Her husband (a man of dumb thinking) fell in her feet smartly. He acted like an actor that "we both have become magic and I can't live without you; if you leave me then I will give my life right now". To avoid her family he had played this drama. Her family had a lot of concerns over her husband. But she left all of God, gave him one more chance despite of insisting of her family. Her parents supported her emotionally and financially.

Seeing all this, her greedy husband thought that "perhaps she fell in his love so that she had accepted any demand". Actually her husband was an unwaged and unskilled who only concentrated on her property. He demanded cunningly her part of her father's property. But he didn't think that beforehand she was very careful and cautious. She had to try to convince him that he had to turn from his demand. But her husband was a lord of greed. Her In-laws had lots of trouble to meet nothing. To get rid of their troubles, they really tortured her soul emotionally and physically. One night all of them sat with her. They ruined the situation intentionally. They said clearly that this girl is not worthy of us. They spoiled badly her feelings and spirit. She raised her voice for her right. She took the name of God and asked bravely that "give any proof that is against me". Since they did not have any evidence. Therefore they kicked and slapped her. At that moment, she thought I am an unfortunate girl who has got such a heartless husband.

Her heart and brain were filled with pain. She could not bear that painful moment. And along with that she became unconscious. She saw her life ending in that Frightful moment. After that moment, when she opened her eyes, she found herself in a hospital in critical situation. They called her parents in compulsion. Her mom started crying to see her in a bad condition. As Her father got jam to see the bad condition of her daughter in that moment. Her in-laws were scared and went away from there to see her parents. After the drips and complete checkup ended, her parents came home. Her parents repeatedly tried to talk to them. But they constantly said the same thing that this girl is not ensemble with our son and other blames related to character and etc. Her father had seen these shameless people for three months. As the girl was going through a mental confusion. Her treatment also continued properly. Her parents took her to Umrah for a month.

When she entered the holy city of Makkah she was on the lookout for the clock tower as she got mental comfort. As soon as her steps got there. The moment when she saw the Kaabah for the first time, she stops for a moment. Her tears started rolling, she felt weak in her limbs, cocktail of unexplainable feelings, she was in awe at the sight of the Kaabah. Formed as a simple but attractive black cube, at the center of the world. She looked like that every dua of her heart has been accepted as. She felt like there as time stops. By performing Umrah, she felt as if nothing had happened in her previous life. And when she came with parents from Umrah, she was able to strengthen her heart. Because she knew very well that her in-laws has the opportunity to talk to people against her in her absence in Pakistan.

The worst part of the whole situation is when her relatives "uncle and his son" also agreed quickly to those people. She could not understand why her relatives considered her wrong. She thought that "she had never let down her love and respect for them". Before, Uncle used to give her examples to the children. But it was a difficult thing for her when Uncle did not trust her in bad time. Uncle and his son further have hurt her feelings to fall down my parents. Actually her family was disturbed badly by their words because their relation was very dear for her family. It was a moment she suffered so much emotional distress. But she constantly remembered God and asked for help.

The time has come that many people around her had descended from her heart. Her trust and confidence ended from many people. The decision for which her family was persuaded too long. She was forced to consider that decision. Many sincere people had tried to settle the matter. Her In-laws sat inside those sincere people and humiliated her badly. She was shocked and devastated. She had got to find a way to put a stop to that.

"Broken promises

Eclipse of the sun and moon

Dreams that fall like leaf."

There were various signs that she looked for to determine when to divorce. In that process, she saw double standard people. She couldn't sleep, her mind raced all night, and it led her down the path of anorexia. It was a very dark time for her. But, luckily, she had family who loved her and helped her see the light. She was very scared for her next life.

"O God, only you know all my pains.

You are within me and you are outside me (You are everywhere)

In every pore of mine (from top to toe) only you dwell.

You are the warp, you are the woof.

You are everything for me."

For her, Divorce was a difficult decision to make, but it was only a healthy option to avoid that mess. Basically, the year of 2016 and 2017 for her were the Domestic Violence Awareness years. During 2016 and 2017 she had faced continuously threats of physical violence and character assassination. It was an attempt toward abusive people to tarnish her reputation continuously. These two years were hardest years for her. She had never imagined that something like this could one day happen to her, this surprise made her stop. Unfortunately she had to pass with traumatic experience in the form of divorce. She felt like a failure. Those days, she heard a painful quote from people that "Divorce is not just a word, it's a label". That quote killed her more from inside. She felt that "Divorce the loss of my life is unbearable for me". She observed that people changes with time.

A few days after the divorce, her family took her on a memorable trip. So that she can get out of her grief. That beautiful time in northern areas brought a smile to her face. Coming back from tour, she decided to study further. Her desire was to attempt CSS. Actually her father also wanted my daughter to do that. Then she went to Lahore to prepare for CSS. Her father made her admission to a top academy of Lahore. And at the same time she started living in the best hostel. In the beginning, she was very scared in new people and in the new place. It was the first day in her hostel and she was worried about how her roommate would be. That time her roommate entered the room. She feared her blanket on her face. Her roommate stepped on to her and hugged her very dearly. Her roommate asked her to eat in a very sweet tone. She has had the best and most crazy memories with her coolest roommate. It is rightly said that the most valuable gift you can receive is an honest friend. She watched a movie "Sanju" in Fortress Cinema with her lovely roommate. Both had a lot of fun together and ate out every week in different hotels and cafes. Even both used to shop dresses and other accessories together.

In the life of Lahore, One moment "achievement of Gold medal" came in her life that was unexpected for her. When she got news in Lahore, she did not get to know myself. She called her friends and teachers like crazy and asked if this is true. Then she was assured by teachers and friends. The joy of her parents was not enough to hear that news. There were joy tears in her sisters' eyes. That was the moment of her life that made her really brave. When She went to university, her teachers did her warmly welcome for taking an achievement certificate. She wishes that happy moments repeatedly come in her life.

Besides that, few moments come in her life in Lahore that has changed her. The most beautiful and memorable moment was that she spent with a lovely family (2nd Relatives). That family made her relaxes mentally. She got a love from every member of that family. There was an awesome girl who is near her heart. The time she used to spend with girl, was very beautiful time. She lightened own heart's burden to share negative or difficult emotions and personal problems with awesome girl. That girl encouraged to her to update her life. She watched a movie "Simmba" in Xinhoa Cinema with that family. She ate many delicious and healthy dishes with that lovely family.

It's been a beautiful time. And the time for her CSS exams was near. The exams started to look even more beautiful with light rain, light cold and nice-hearted hostel girls. Her birthday was her last exam which was a cause of happiness for her. All the girls and staff of hostel loved her immensely. And they all knew that today is her birthday on the last paper. As well as they also knew that the next day she would leave with her parents. That's why they all together made her birthday memorable. Her hostel's friends together decorated her room with balloons and flowers. And everyone enjoyed a big size chocolate cake and large pizza on her birthday. Her laughter was echoing throughout the hostel seeing her happiness. They spent the birthday night with full of happiness and all the friends had breakfast together at Lahore Bundu khan Hotel.

The memorable and moments of Lahore gave her the power to live. While living in the moments filled with happiness, those bad days started to be bad dreams. When she came out of Lahore with her parents, she had learned a lot. On returning from Lahore, she returned home having fun with her parents. On reaching her home, her sisters, nieces and nephews had arranged an amazing party for her. Her favorite toys and cushions were also placed in her room. There was a smile on the face from the baby to the big one. Everyone in this house was crying a year ago seeing her sorrowful face. And now everyone was celebrating on her new stage of life.

A little bit of laughter,

A little bit of tears,

A little bit of happiness,

A little bit of fear.