Prologue

You see, this is just a story of a girl who loved this boy very much, held him very dearly, oh, so dearly.

She was someone who proudly stood tall no matter how wicked things she committed, she accepted and embraced herself, she had done what needed to be done to save herself and so she had told the boy.

"I don't regret it. If I did, it would be the same as regretting that I couldn't die, and if I had died I wouldn't have met you, couldn't be with you but the thing is, I am happy that I met you, I am glad to be able to spend time with you and that's why, I will never regret what I did and I will keep doing it if that's what I need to do. That's all there is to it."

And the boy had asked her.

"What if you didn't meet me, would you have regretted your actions then?"

And the girl answered without any hesitation.

"No. I wouldn't have. Even though I can't imagine a life without you right now if we had never met I still wouldn't have regretted anything. Why should I? I simply did what would help me save myself, why would other people's demise matter to me? People don't care about things that don't concern them. There are lots and lots of people dying all around the world even as we speak. There are lots of vile and evil things that happen, someone being crushed by another vehicle in an accident, someone dying because they couldn't escape the fireplace and suffocated, someone being alone and committing suicide, someone getting bullied, someone getting harrassed, some being betrayed by all they trusted. Brutal, cruel, lonely, sad things keep happening, but we don't feel anything about it. No one does. They simply say 'Oh, that's a sad thing' and move on. That's just how it is and I am no different. Those people don't matter to me, they are nothing more than no-name for me. So, I don't mind. I don't mind killing them to save myself."

The girl paused and looked into the boy's eyes and continued.

"But if you say, you don't like it, I won't do it. People care about themselves and things that matter to them and I am no different. You matter to me, a whole lot and I don't want to hurt you, I don't want to do anything that would hurt you." She said smiling softly.

"Even if it means you might die?" the boy asked

"Even if it means I will die." The girl answered with certainty.

If she didn't kill others she would die, that was already set in stone.

She had crossed the line and she knew.

If she didn't kill others, they would kill her.

"Why?" He boy asked

"Because I love you." She smiled and jumped onto him, wrapping her hands around his neck and nuzzling her face against his chest.

The boy started patting her head.

"I love you, I love, I love you, I love you, I love you, I love you, I love you, I love you, I love you, I love you, I love you, I love you, I love you, I love you, I love you, I love you, I love you, I love you, I love you, I love you, I love you, I love you, I love you, I love you, I love you, I love you, I love you, I love you, I love you" 

She kept repeating those words like a parrot on and on and on for a long long time.

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Lying in the pool of her own blood, she had called out to him.

"Sorry. I couldn't be with you until the end. Go now, save yourself." She said coughing up the blood.

"Why?"

That was all the boy had asked.

"Because I love you"

The girl had answered, like always.

It was as simple as that.

The boy nodded, ready to leave but the girl grabbed his hand.

She remembered, what the boy had told her.

The boy lacks the will to live. All he wants is to die. 

No, don't think of him as a boy who would whimper at the thought of dying and killing himself.

He did in fact kill himself, sliced his throat, ripped out his heart and crushed it, shot himself, got himself crushed by a vehicle, fell off a 30-floor building.

He died.

Yet he still lives.

He didn't regress, he didn't heal. He absolutely died.

Yet he lives, on and on.

"I want you to live. Please keep on living, I want you to fight, fight even if you can't die, give your everything to cling on to your life" 

"Why should I?" The boy asked.

"Because I am glad I met you, I am glad you were born" The girl looked into his empty-looking eyes, and the boy was taken aback.

He had never heard those words.

Someone was happy to have met him? Happy that he was born? Ridiculous. The boy thought.

And yet.

Tears started streaming down his face.

In a long long time, he had cried.

He was betrayed, killed, humiliated, hated, played with, emasculated, tortured, left alone, eaten alive, rejected.

And yet there was this girl who said she was happy that she met him, glad that he was born.

"Don't cry. It's okay. I can't guarantee anything but please do everything to live. If you do, I am sure you will find someone, someone like me who would be glad to have met you. So, cling to it, okay? Please don't let go of your life easily..." The girl made a desperate request to him.

"...You said, you don't want to hurt me because you love me. Right?"

"That's right."

"Does that mean you don't hurt people you love?"

"You try to not hurt them"

"I will do what you asked for but answer me this, do you love me?"

"I do, I love you and I will keep loving you forever and ever" Her voice started to slow down but she didn't stop from wiping away the boy's tears.

"I understand. I won't die. I will try my best to not die." The boy said.

And so their tale came to an end.

The boy once again died.

Yet he lives.

Clinging onto the words left behind by the only person who never hurt him, never lied to him, never hated him, never betrayed him, never humiliated him, never abandoned him, never killed him.

She was the only person who was truly happy that he was born.

So, he kept going.

And so did the time.

He forgot her name, her face, her voice.

All that was left were her words.

And he kept clinging on to them.

For that was all he had left.

He was cursed by the world, hated by it yet even so, the boy didn't hate the world. 

Because this was the very world he met her.

That's all there is to it.

This is the story of a girl who loved this one boy very much, held him dearly, oh so dearly, she kept loving him forever and ever even though she knew the boy wouldn't be able to return her feelings, for that was who he is.

This is a story of a boy who didn't hold any attachment to his life yet he kept clinging on to it for that was what an important, very important person, who he no longer remembers, had asked of him.