388 2.3

After considering a few options, I started moving with Shiranami. The school grounds were off-limits during winter break, and the rainy weather made it difficult to stay outdoors.

On the other hand, many students were scattered throughout the indoor areas.

The only saving grace was that Shiranami seemed determined to avoid drawing attention to us.

In cases like this, even if we weren't close, we'd typically walk next to each other with a group-like vibe, or maintain a one or two-step distance.

However, there was a considerable gap between me in front and Shiranami following behind. From a side view, one would likely assume we weren't together.

Therefore, even though it was Christmas Eve, there was no need to worry about being mistaken for a couple or anything similar.

"...What?"

"Nothing."

If I focused too much on the distance between us, Shiranami seemed more likely to fall further behind.

It wasn't my idea to extend the invitation, but it was still troublesome.

Regardless, I had initiated the conversation and established a connection, so I supposed it was inevitable.

After aimlessly wandering around for a bit, we eventually reached a rest area.

Several vending machines were lined up, and there were a couple of wooden benches without backrests.

Surprisingly, only a few students frequented this spot, and today was no exception as there was no one in sight.

"Do you want something to drink—"

"No, thanks."

"Shall we sit on the bench—"

"I don't need to."

After being declined twice, I decided not to push my luck any further.

"Shall we talk?"

Shiranami stood facing me, maintaining a considerable distance between us as she rubbed her hands together.

It seemed she had some difficulty speaking her mind, but she mustered up the courage to ask me.

"What is your relationship with Honami-chan, Ayanokōji-kun?"

"What do you mean by 'relationship'?"

"Are you just classmates? Or friends? Or are you something more than that?"

Each word was spoken meekly, but her question clearly conveyed what she wanted to know. My response seemed to be of great importance to Shiranami.

Of course, I understood why.

Her curiosity stemmed from the time I was forming a relationship with Ichinose.

During the previous year, when we were still first-year students, Shiranami gathered the courage to confess her feelings to Ichinose, who stood right before her.

It went beyond mere friendship; instead, it was a romantic attraction to someone of the same gender.

No, that description wasn't quite accurate.

In this day and age, gender made no difference whatsoever. Shiranami, as an individual, simply felt a deep affection for Ichinose.

That was all there was to it.

And she didn't like the notion of Ichinose having feelings for me. The situation was straightforward and easy to comprehend without needing further explanation.

"How should I put it? I'm a little hesitant—"

"Don't hesitate and just answer me."

"I'm not hesitating. It's just difficult for me to judge if I qualify to call her a friend."

"...What do you mean by that?"

Shiranami looked puzzled, her eyebrows furrowing as she struggled to understand what I meant.

"I only have a few friends. I don't even know the boundaries of what constitutes a friend. Is someone you merely talk to not a friend? Where do you draw the line between an acquaintance and a friend?"

"That's… Uh, I'm not sure where the line is..."

"Like you, I'm also not certain. If I were to base it on my perspective, I would say we're friends."

"That's a bit ambiguous, isn't it...? Are you trying to dodge the question?"

I had no intention of dodging the question; I meant to answer quite seriously.

"So you're just friends, right? Neither of you have any romantic feelings toward each other, correct?"

I didn't directly ask Shiranami, but I couldn't imagine her being unaware of Ichinose's feelings.

Shiranami said it was mutual, but what she probably wanted to ascertain were my feelings toward her.

"You're sure that it's like this, right? Because you're dating Karuizawa-san."

Unable to wait for my response, Shiranami added her assumption.

"Whether I have a girlfriend or not shouldn't matter, right? The question is about my feelings toward Ichinose."

"Of course it matters. That's because one can only be in love with a single person at a time."

Shiranami replied with a romantic, or rather a pure-hearted girl's perspective.

It didn't seem like she doubted me; instead, she genuinely believed it.

"Isn't it possible to view multiple people as romantic interests simultaneously?"

It was a case that could be considered regardless of men or women.

"No, it's not!"

However, Shiranami strongly rejected it.

Judging from her tightly clenched small hands, she appeared to be angry.

"My apologies. That topic was unrelated to our discussion. Currently, there's no relationship between Ichinose and me like the one you're worried about."

"...Currently?"

As expected, Shiranami picked up on the caveat I added just in case, becoming sensitive to every word I said.

"No one knows what the future holds."

"Even so, if it was a normal relationship, you wouldn't add 'currently,' I think..."

Shiranami might have a point.

If this conversation wasn't about Ichinose, but rather about a close female friend like Amikura, I might not have added 'currently.'

I could have clearly stated that we were just friends, nothing more and nothing less.

"Even if Honami-chan had feelings for you, as long as you don't feel the same way, I think you wouldn't have said 'currently.' And yet, you did... You wouldn't have said that if you weren't thinking of breaking up with Karuizawa-san and dating Honami-chan."

Shiranami uttered those words with difficulty, as if she disliked saying them.

While she was most likely looking at the tip of my nose as she spoke, avoiding eye contact, it took courage to say that.

"I think Honami-chan is free to like whoever she wants... but I can't just stand by and watch her date someone who's insincere..."

"Is someone considered insincere just because they've broken up with someone else before?"

"Well... not exactly like that..."

As Ichinose's classmate, Shiranami couldn't discuss her condition. I thought she might've already noticed a change, but there was no evidence of that.

Ichinose's recently changed demeanor. The heart of the matter was that I didn't want to inadvertently influence anyone until I could assess how it would affect her.

That was why, even if it casted a shadow over Shiranami's heart, all I could do was add 'currently' and be vague.

"I didn't mean to trouble you. It's just that, given the situation, I knew there was a chance my words would not be taken lightly, so I had no choice but to word it in a way that includes some insurance."

Even if it might've been a bit harsh, it was better to express it firmly.

Although she showed a face as if that wasn't the case for a moment, it seemed that she realized that her intensity had risen more than she had imagined.

"...I'm sorry. It seems like I've said too much..."

She was so desperate that she temporarily lost track of the extent of her statement. It was that serious.

"You're worried about Ichinose, aren't you?"

It was natural to be concerned about a best friend—even more so for someone she had feelings for.

"Ah, um... I'm really sorry!"

As she calmed down, she began to take her own misstep heavily and seriously.

"Lately, I've been hearing a lot of stories about you and Honami-chan..."

"Rumors are just rumors."

"Right... Like about how you started going to the gym together to be alone, ignoring your studies, and you calling her to your room even though you have a girlfriend... I accepted such baseless rumors so easily..."

Hmm... Huh?

"What's wrong? You've been calm all this time, but now you suddenly have a strange expression on your face."

"I was just thinking about how such baseless rumors, or perhaps even facts that aren't a big deal, ended up getting spread around with such detail."

"That's an odd way of putting it. Rumors and facts are unrelated, aren't they?"

"Of course, there are many cases where they are unrelated."

"...Huh?"

"Huh?"

"You two didn't go to the gym alone, right?"

"No, we didn't. I just started going to the gym. But it isn't impossible to run into Ichinose there, right?"

That was exactly what happened today.

I had received a message, but it wasn't like we promised to meet at the gym.

"Well, that might be true. Mako-chan also goes to the gym. Oh, but the rumor about calling Ichinose to your room is definitely baseless, right?"

"That's true. I haven't invited Ichinose into my room."

There were three similar occurrences with Ichinose, but the first one happened while our class was undergoing the special vote exam as freshmen. The second time was on a rainy day at the end of the school year. The third time happened very recently, but it was just Ichinose who voluntarily waited in front of my room. 

It was likely during the third instance, when Ichinose was waiting, that someone saw her.

"...I believe you."

Though hesitant, Shiranami conceded, showing her most positive expression of the day.

However, depending on how Shiranami interpreted things from now on, she might've ended up feeling betrayed.

Should I add a disclaimer just in case?

However, if I said something that sounded like a lame excuse here, it would cast a shadow on her heart once again.

"Can I add one more thing?"

"U-uh, what is it?"

"Whether Ichinose falls in love with someone, or is already in love, it doesn't mean that your value, Shiranami, diminishes. However, if you do things that Ichinose doesn't approve of, it might have an adverse effect. Do you understand what I'm saying?"

"...Yeah."

Not being able to be with the person someone loved—that was what made it so unbearable, and as a result, people tried interfering with their happiness.

It was only natural that the person they loved wouldn't be pleased when they saw such behavior.

"I'm kind of an unpleasant girl, huh?"

As Shiranami calmed down, she seemed to start reflecting on the things she had said today.

"I'm just complaining and venting my frustration on you..."

She had felt that way since she requested that we change locations to talk.

However, even without considering the fact that she was the one who had invited me to talk, I had no intention of blaming Shiranami from the get-go.

"Even during the uninhabited island exam in the summer, you helped me when I was lost..."

Since her admission, she had always harbored special feelings for Ichinose. Now, as she suppressed her emotions, she continued to support Ichinose as an important friend with her presence.

It wasn't unreasonable for her to feel resentment toward someone like me and be subconsciously hostile.

"Don't worry about it. If anything, I'm the one who got in the way and made things worse by lecturing you—"

"I'm really sorry!"

Before I could finish, I was interrupted by an apology from Shiranami.

"Um, um, it's not that I don't like you... It's really not like that..."

I already understood everything, but Shiranami didn't seem to realize that, so she started to explain herself. Even if I tried stopping her, she wouldn't be convinced, so maybe I should just listen for a while.

After that, Shiranami continued to ask for my forgiveness, scattering the conversation in all directions with 80% apologies and 20% explanations.