68 Chapter 14: Last Memories

A/N: First things first, sorry that it took so long, I was a bit busy, these days. 

But I believe with this chapter, you'll be compensated quite much, either way.

I surpassed my word count again for a chapter, and it's now, at 10.000 Words. 

Also regarding the request with the Ibuki and Arisu AI Art, I'll try on doing them next time, since I failed them, miserably. 

Aside from getting ones for Hiyori, and perhaps Horikita, I'm not good with the other girls from Cote. 

Note: Don't read this in Public. Highly suggested, so don't say I didn't warn you. If you do, I cannot ensure that something might happen. 

Anyway, that'll be all. Enjoy this very long chapter. 

Before that... tell me please, which chapter length is optimal for you, in a sense.

I'm writing often very much, so I'd like to know, with which, you're comfortable. 

[Word Count: 10.381]

--

[Kurushima Pov]

[22nd December]

"I've returned..."

Closing my door, I finally took off my mask, leaning with my back against the door.

Of course, I made the camera freeze with the deauther method on my phone, so it would not be able to record anything, on the floor I reside, for a small minute. 

I cannot ever let myself be caught for the things I've done.

Especially when I confronted Chairman Sakayanagi, four days ago.

As always, I simply have to cover my traces.

Today, too. 

I was last seen at my room, so there's that. For the excessive use of violence I planned against these four, I could not let anyone know I was behind it. 

Even if there was only a small hint of suspicion I could not be suspected ultimately, because of the camera, that proves that I was in my room. 

I thought everything was going like the way I planned...

But it did not... 

"Haha...."

"I didn't expect up losing, even if I just used Karate and Judo..."

Among the countless of martial arts I could use, I used these two. The reason was of letting him believe the one who expelled him was Kanzaki. 

Because he's someone who has the black belt for both these martial arts. 

But the issue was with this; my body was not working as one unit, as each movement was planned from me, since the beginning. 

If you're practicing martial arts long enough, your body, your muscle memory, is working without your brain sending these signals, for your next movements. It's like it implies, being done automatically, practically.

Just as walking, this is something you are able to do, once you practice them for a long time. 

For someone like me, who's practicing them since long, it's naturally like that, too. 

"Still..."

"I lost..."

"Hahaha..."

"There's no way I got overwhelmed by that apathetic looking bastard, regardless of the fact that I wasn't going all-out..."

"Out of all people...? Me...?"

"Since the moment I could walk, there has been no one among my peers that could make me even go to the slightest point ever serious..."

"Just like when I entered Judo without any prior knowledge to it or any training when I was five years old, I easily achieved the First Dan for the black belt after three simple months with three attendances per week and overwhelmed anyone in my way..."

"And now you're telling me someone was able to react towards my kick and block it...? The one where I really decided to use my full strength and speed...?"

"That damn bastard looked down on me thinking he'd win..."

"I genuinely wanted to go all-out at that point... but it wouldn't have aligned itself with my plans, so I simply decided on using my full kick strength and speed at that point..."

"I didn't expect him to be able to block it, however..."

"Until that point... I've done my best to appear as Kanzaki, but at that moment, I was thinking of throwing my identity away and to beat him up, thoroughly..."

"I'm really easy to provoke..."

"What would have been the point of all this, if I did that...? My plan of expelling him, making his father suffer, crushing his plans slowly, making him battle against his own allies because of the interference from one of his major plans..."

"Everything would have worked so well..."

"Damn it..."

"How could I let myself be kicked towards the solar plexus by him...?"

"Even if I was able to hold my two palms in front of it, barely, it didn't change, the severe attack against it. Any other person would have fallen through that kick in pain on the ground, not being able to move, but it was something I could easily endure..."

"It's just physical pain. That's all there is too. The emotional pain I experienced is by far, worse."

"The only single problem was that I could barely breathe properly anymore. Taking into account that I was wearing a mask that covered my face entirely, I might have gotten unconscious if the fight continued for any longer than that..."

"I had to forcefully retreat, if I wanted to protect my identity. Of course, he gave me some troubles, but until that point, everything was in one or another way, fine..."

"Still..."

"That does not change that I've lost..."

"Damn it..."

"That bastard..."

"You'll regret that, soon enough..."

"For looking down on me..."

Walking towards the kitchen I felt myself grabbing a plate, but I quickly put it towards the side, taking instead, an apple.

I've destroyed much enough, four days ago. Doing any more than that, despite my anger, will be worse than that. 

"Enjoy your little peaceful life, while you can."

Crush

I crushed the apple in my left hand, looking with my red eyes silently at the wall right next to me where my neighbor resides, that bastard's son. 

"In the Third Semester, I'll expel you."

"The Holidays prevent me of doing anything to you, for now."

"You're lucky..."

"If it wasn't for Chairman Sakayanagi's condition..."

"Chairman Sakayanagi...?"

"Since when... do I refer to him as Chairman, again...?"

"After the thing with him was over..."

Remembering what happened again inside of my mind, every scene replaying itself, I could not help but feel how my breathing was slowly becoming erratically. 

I walked towards the bathroom, to wash my hands from the apple juice on my hands.

I looked at myself in the mirror, while washing my hands, simultaneously. 

"Calm down. Breathe in and out."

"He's going to be in a comatose state for a while..."

"Everything is still perfectly fine..."

"I'll be back at home by long if he wakes up from it..."

"If only..."

"I decided on drinking right in front of his eyes the 'remedy' he thought it was for his daughter..."

"But why..."

"Do I feel so relieved, then...?"

"That he's still alive and not dead...?"

"That I did not cross over that step...?"

"Didn't I prepare myself for that just so many year's long...?"

"Fuck..."

Crack

I punched the mirror with my fist in the spur of my anger, immediately. But I did not stop there, at all. 

I didn't punch it once, not twice, but various amount of times, until nothing of a mirror was left anymore, the shards falling down, and the only thing that could be seen was my blood dripping from my fist, slowly.

"I'm pathetic."

"When did I become this soft...?"

"Through my relationship with her...?"

"Or was I always like this...?"

"I don't know..."

"Damn it..." 

I stared at the ground, at the mirror shards silently, while clenching my fists, blood dripping from my right fist everywhere, feeling the simple frustration dwelling up inside of me, again.

"I won't hold back anymore..."

"In the Third Semester, I'll be going all-out to expel you..."

"Ayanokoji..."

"It's a first time for me, that I'm going all-out..."

"I'll show you..."

"The overwhelming difference that lies between the two of us..."

"And while I'm at it..."

"I should end things with her, too, soon..."

"The longer I'm with you, the more do I envision myself another future, for myself." 

"But..."

"Our relationship..."

"It has no future at all..."

"I wish it had, but there're my unique and special circumstances that prevent me of being together with you, Hiyori." 

"Besides, you shouldn't be with a person like me. In the long term, it'll be the better decision for you. That's all what I can say."

"But..."

"Thank you..."

"Laughing, smiling, feeling joy, enjoying my school life, feeling happy with you, it was something I did not plan for myself at all, ever."

"I knew what it'd mean in going to a relationship, yet I did it, regardless."

"But I cannot do anything for it. I never expected to fall in love, genuinely..."

"... That something like that was possible for me, is quite the surprise. But I know why; you're someone very special."

I looked at the last remaining mirror shard on the mirror, noticing something strangely going on with me.

"A Tear...?"

"I see..."

"Even when I'm in a inner conflict with myself... my body... it does not seem to lie..." 

"I suppose... I'm in misery right now..."

"But how could I know...?"

"It's something so common in my life that it's the basic norm for me..."

"But this here..."

"It's more painful than the other days..."

"Hahaha..."

"How pathetic my life is..."

"The boy born with everything, lost everything, and now, when he made the first progressive steps in his life again, he quickly abandons it, again..."

"My life..."

"It'll be just covered with this, huh...?"

"Revenge, huh...?"

"Before four days ago, I failed to realize how I was supposed to feel after I achieved my revenge on him. Only after I did 'it', did I realize that I wasn't feeling happy like I should be, at all..."

"I envisioned it to be different..."

"But I suppose... Until you experience it, on your own, you'll fail to realize it."

"... Well, I suppose, this is fine, too..."

"Nothing will stop me of continuing that path..."

"I'm sorry, Aoki..."

"But that's my way, even now..."

"It was always, and will be, always..."

--

[25th December]

[Kurushima Pov]

"Kaoru...? Is everything okay...? You're spacing out again."

I shook my head, several times to the side. "No, it's nothing. I'm sorry, please continue with what you wanted to say."

[Image:]

She looked at me, shyly.

Currently, we were outside, on a date together.

While Christmas is primarily being celebrated with the family in Western Countries, Japan is on the different side. 

It's more of a Couple's Day, here. 

"You should be more careful. You're injuring yourself really often. If it wasn't for me bandaging your hand, it might have gotten worse."

"Ah, is that so...? I'll try to be less careless, then."

Although... it's not as easy as it sounds...

"Please do that."

As she smiled towards at me, I could not help but feel guilty. 

I'm a scumbag...

I'm aware of that...

I was ashamed and disappointed at myself plentiful for it, already...

There was no need of reprimanding myself for it...

But right now, admits everything that was happening in my life, I just wanted to enjoy my time with her, on Christmas.

I tried to forget everything else, for the time being. 

"Shall we go there...?" she says, pointing with her finger towards a cafe, while she held my left hand, the one which was not injured. 

I nodded my head. "I'm fine with it." 

As we headed inside, the waitress approached us.

"Please follow me."

In the past, we used to be asked for how many people the table would be, but ever since October, that stopped. 

It was clear as day, that it was just the two of us. Especially, considering the day today is Christmas, which is spent with your partner. 

As the waitress was guiding us through our table to where we should sit, I noticed plentiful of couples, here, too. 

If circumstances had been different I could be like them, perhaps, too...

It's not often that I happen to get envious, but this right there, was a situation where I felt envious of other's. 

Ordinary high schooler's sure have not much to worry about...

How nice it would be if I could be like that, too...

Releasing a deep internal sigh, I noticed that we arrived at our table. It was right next to the windows.

The two of us did a small grateful nod towards the waitress. I sat myself at the comfortable couch, while I could see Hiyori, still standing. 

I wanted to ask what's wrong, but it was quickly solved. 

She sat right next to me, instead of sitting across me. 

I was wondering whether she was simply spacing out, like myself, but that wasn't the case. It does happen with her, too, of spacing out, suddenly. 

We two are quite similar in that regard.

Although...

I'm spacing out because of other things, mostly, unlike her. 

No...

I'm not trying to think about that, for today, at least. 

"Should I sit across you, rather, Kaoru...?"

"No, I'm fine with this seating arrangement. It's not often that we sit like that, do we, Hiyori?"

"Yes! I'd like to be more closer to you, when we eat. Far closer..." she said, with a slight hint of embarrassment behind her voice. 

I looked to the side, seeing her shy face. "I'm the same."

"Is it fine... if I hold your right hand, Kaoru...? Does it hurt, still...?"

"Don't worry, I don't really feel any pain, so be at ease. If you want, you can even touch me..."

"Touch you...?" she looked at me in slight confusion as both and I looked at each other. 

"I mean, didn't you touch my abs, when we went swimming in October...?"

"Ah..."

Suddenly I could see her entire face becoming red.

"I'm sorry..."

"For what, exactly...?"

"For doing something... so intimate at that time..."

"I was fine with it, remember? You don't need to apologize..."

She gave me a small nod, as I held her hand. 

"Then again, you were quite daring, regardless, I must say. I was surprised that you asked me if you could touch them."

Seeing her getting embarrassed again, I felt a simple smile forming my face. 

"You're doing it, again..."

"What do I do, precisely, Hiyori...?"

"You're teasing me, Kaoru..."

"Well... seeing you embarrassed like this, is something, I like, quite much. Although, if you want me to stop, I'll do so, immediately."

"I... didn't say that."

"So you want me to continue, huh...? Fine by me."

She did a small embarrassed nod, looking at me. 

"Can we lift our hands up, just a bit?"

"Everything for you."

I smiled slightly, knowing already what she wanted to do. 

At the same time, I felt her head leaning against my shoulder.

"I hope my shoulder is more than comfortable enough."

"It's very comfortable, Kaoru. It always has been."

"I see. I'm glad to hear that."

"With today, we're 127 Days together, already, Kaoru."

Surprisingly, just three days ago, at December 22, we were precisely 1/3 of a year together as a couple. 

The day I lost against Ayanokoji 'practically', even though he's still moving after Kanzaki, like I wanted it to be the case.

I'm misdirecting him and anyone else who goes after the mystery of Y.

But it's also the day I decided it's better to end things with her, soon...

I'm scum...

But for her, it'll be better, this way. 

Perhaps if things were different...

If they were alive, we might have had a chance of being together. 

As it's now, you'll suffer if you're with me, probably...

Anyone around me will, so it's better this way...

I didn't come here to monologue about this again, but to enjoy my time with her.

She's truly someone special. To make me feel this way. 

Something only she will be known to have done in my memories...

I shook my head internally several times, focusing myself on what's happening. 

The waitress came back with two menu cards, putting them at the table.

Hiyori and I released for a small moment our hands to look at the menu cards.

I took one, while she had one herself, too.

Since this was a cafe, there was not really food offered here. We wanted to cook today evening together, so we would not be eating much outside here. 

Besides there were plentiful of other locations we had to check out. 

After a small while, I put the menu card down, with her slightly giggling. 

"Orange juice...?" Hiyori says as she gave me a curious look to see whether she's right with her assumption.

Normally, she would be right, but I didn't feel like drinking orange juice, currently. 

I shook my head, simply. "No, not this time. I'll take hot cocoa. What about you?" 

"I wanted to take hot cocoa, too. Kaoru..."

"Hm?"

"There's a hot cocoa offer for couples in the menu. It's quite large and in one glass, but also a bit more expensive, than two single ones. Should we order this...?"

I looked at her and gave her a small nod. "Sharing a glass together...? I'm okay with it." 

She gave me a small nod, her expression happy, looking further at the menu card.

"But you'll take Strawberry Cake, right...?"

This time, her tone was quite convinced.

"Fuu... Who knows?" 

She looked at me with a thoughtful look, trying to guess what I'd take, but I gave in, because I honestly, would never take any other cake sort, aside from strawberry.

"I'll take as usual Strawberry Cake. I'm quite obsessed with it, truthfully. And you?"

"I'm taking Vanilla Cake, this time. Perhaps, I might be able to get you to like this more than the Strawberry Cake."

"I highly doubt that, but I don't mind if you give it a try."

She smiled slightly at me. "I'll try it, Kaoru."

Seeing her enthusiasm, I felt the need to smile again. 

The waitress approached us two, once again, and we quickly told her what we'd like to have.

"It's almost 7 a.m, Kaoru."

"Time surely flies by fast, does it not...?"

"Yes, it really does. I enjoyed myself today so much that I didn't notice that it was this late, already."

"Me neither. We did quite a lot of things today, did we not?"

"We did! But it's just one of countless of other days that are awaiting us. Still... I think today has been after yesterday the most beautiful day so far in my life and it's far from even over."

"Christmas surely will be a long reminder, won't it...?"

"Indeed. I'm already excited for next year."

"Next year..."

"Ah... I am being too overly enthusiastic again, am I not...?"

"Perhaps. But you should think about it, when the time comes. Besides, we still have Christmas going on today, so how about we think of the now, instead?"

With red cheeks she could not help but do an embarrassed nod because of her enthusiasm.

I wish I could share her enthusiasm... however I know... it'll be fruitless...

My life is already completely planned, when I leave this school...

"I'm doing that quite often, lately. Thinking far into the future ahead. Is it strange?"

I cannot deny that these possibilities never crossed my thought at all. They did, plentiful of times. 

Imagining myself different kind of paths than the one I laid down for myself, but I know very well, it's not something possible. 

"No, I don't think so. But I cannot say for sure, precisely, since I don't know about how other high schoolers think regarding this. I think everyone is focused more on the presence, rather..."

"I just remembered something. Someone from my class..."

"Wait, who was it again...?"

"Kondo-kun...? No, it's not him. Was it Komiya-kun, then? No... that's not him either. I have troubles on remembering who it was..."

"What's wrong, Hiyori...?"

"Well, someone on the side of the boys from my class is dating a female upperclassmen and says he wants to marry her. But I seem to have forgotten his name..."

"It's quite embarrassing, if I'm honest, since I suppose, by now, I should know the names of all of my classmates."

I released a slight laugh because of Hiyori, suddenly. In some ways, she certainly could bring me, even without trying, inadvertently to laugh. 

"It certainly is strange, for sure. I think after 8 months, it's at least right to know the name of your classmates. Then again, I'm reassured that my girlfriend doesn't put that much importance on remembering the name of the guys from her class."

A bit embarrassed she looked towards the side, with a slight smile. 

I answered her question, simply, although I feel like I have fallen into her clutches.

"I think you mean Yoshimoto-kun from your class, right?"

"Yoshimoto-kun... Hmm... Yes, that was his name. Even though he's not in your class, you remember his name, Kaoru...?"

"Well... I'm the leader of my class, in the first place, so I had to know which person is from each class is of importance, so it's inclined to that, rather."

I looked at her, with a slight smile toggling on my face. "But you already know that Hiyori, don't you?"

"Hmm...? I'm not sure what you're talking about, Kaoru."

"Is that so? Well, I'm quite sure, you do in fact, know your classmates names. Was that a small scheme of your's to test my reaction towards it...? To that specific information...?"

"I-I... did not..."

"Well... my girlfriend can be like this, too. But I don't really mind it. Surely, there is something you wanted to achieve with this, by directing the attention to this way? Mind telling me it, Hiyori...?" 

"You could have tried on acting clueless and tag along, Kaoru, at the very least..." she murmured, pouting a bit. 

But it was nothing that I could not hear. 

I smiled slightly.

I approached her ear with my face, murmuring something. "I could, but where would be the fun of that, Hiyori." 

With an even redder face, she turned herself around. I could see her hands moving embarrassingly, her eyes making contact with mine, looking several times at me, in an uncertain way. 

"W-what do you think... of M-Marriage, K-Kaoru....?"

When she said she was thinking in the future... she meant this...

But well... I cannot deny that these things never crossed my thoughts, either...

"It seems like something beautiful based on what I've seen, so far. Although, I don't really have too much of an opinion regarding it since... I never thought that far..."

It's not that I never thought so far, but rather, because I never believed I could love someone. 

Marriage was until a certain point... not even on my radar...

"I see..."

"Are you disappointed...?"

She shakes her head, slightly. "No, not at all. I think I should take your advice to heart and live in the presence rather than imagining myself far into the future."

I nodded, slightly. "But you really want to be together with me that much, Hiyori...? To the point that I'm never letting you go, ever...?" 

"Ah...." Realizing that her answer was a confirmation towards my question, she felt a flush of embarrassment all over her face. 

Her face happened to be very red, but this time, she did not turn her head to the side, but did a slight embarrassed nod towards my direction.

I could see it... and felt...

Both relieved and pained... 

I felt a smile toggling my lips, all of a sudden.

She was truly a special person, but the more this continued, the more did I feel ashamed of what I'd do in the future. 

I was so disappointed at myself that I could not find the proper words that could describe this anymore. 

A couple of moments later the hot cocoa and our desserts arrived and we slowly ate it, while sharing with each other, our desserts. 

While taking another additional bite with the fork of my strawberry cake I glanced for a small moment outside, seeing white snowflakes from above falling on the ground.

"It's snowing..."

"Really? I cannot see it well from here."

Since I was on the windows side, it was natural that she could not see it. But her voice was filled with enthusiasm and excitement one could feel.

She's really cute, when she's like this.

"If you want to have a better view, you can sit on my lap, Hiyori,"

I teased her slightly, seeing her face becoming red. Of course, I did not expect her to do this in the slightest bit.

I was just after teasing her, slightly.

Especially, because I wanted to see her shy face. 

"Then... excuse me, Kaoru..."

"Huh...?"

She stood and sat right at my lap, as I saw her long beautiful silver hair, covering my front vision. 

"Kaoru? Is everything okay...? You're not speaking."

"Ah... well... I'm just surprised. That's all."

I could hear a slight laughter erupting from her. "I'm glad that I was able to catch you off-guard, Kaoru. It's not often that this happens."

I felt a flush of embarrassment on my face, since I'm not really used to this.

Besides...

There was something else that made this by far more difficult. 

I got...

Hard...

"Mmmh..."

I heard her slight moan, which just aroused me even more. 

I slowly approached her ear with my face, because saying this out loud, in the cafe, full of couples would be too embarrassing. 

"I'm sorry. It's my hormones again. I wish I could control them, but..."

"Don't be, Kaoru... I'm sorry that I did this... I should have known for the better, especially, since what happened on your birthday..."

"Let's not talk about it..."

It was quite the embarrassing topic, no matter how you looked at it. But what makes it this time worse is that we're this time in the public and not in my room...

I didn't expect her to pull this stunt off...

Just when she wanted to stand up, I wrapped my arms around her stomach, holding her firm, so that she could not stand up.

"I'm sorry, can we wait a while...? Until... you know..."

"I'm... uh... ah... fine with it..." she spoke in such an embarrassed way that it was obvious what happened, if bystander's decided to look at us try to hear our conversation. 

I simply laid my face against her back, full of embarrassment.

It's not often that I'm getting embarrassed, but if I am, it's usually, something I don't want anyone to see... 

"I wish I could see... your face right now, Kaoru..."

She could tell that I was feeling embarrassed.

We are after all with today 127 Days together, and I have gotten quite the couple of times embarrassed in front of her, because of various different kinds of situations. 

"I'd rather not..."

"Really? But I think you're really cute when you're like this."

"I'm really not, Hiyori. Please stop teasing me or something unexpected might happen."

"Unexpected...?"

"Yes..."

"What unexpected thing would you do, Kaoru? I'm just curious..." her tone was quiet and shy, not knowing what would happen.

"I'd kiss you on the erogenous zone on your neck if you were not to stop now."

She turned her head to the side, flushing a bit to what I said.

But I saw her neck completely open, not a strain of hair blocking my vision, so I followed with my warning and approached her open neck. 

Kiss

"Mmmh..." she released a slight moan and I noticed, I should have stayed with just the warning. 

Because I felt something at my pants again... 

"Kaoru..."

"I know. It definitely wasn't the best idea I've come up with..."

In fact, it was probably my worst idea, considering that we're in the public and my pants were now on the nearby situation of exploding... 

"It's even harder than b-befor—"

"Say no more, please."

I felt how she moved her head upwards and down, indicating a nod, because of the embarrassing thing that was happening for both of us. 

"Should I stand up...?" she murmurs quietly, not trying on getting the other couples here attentive on us. 

"No, I don't want you to see it. Especially, since some other couples are staring at us, already, essentially. We've drawn quite the attention... unfortunately..."

No matter what, we were the only couple who were like this. All of them sat across each other, but not only did we six next to each other, but she also sat on my lap...

We have drawn quite the attention...

"Okay... please tell me... when I should stand up..."

"I'll do so..." I quietly murmured, leaning my head against her back with a hint of embarrassment. 

For a few minutes we remained like that, until I felt how everything was calming down, slightly.

"I'm fine now."

I could not tell how her facial expression looked like, but she must have been quite embarrassed the whole time, like me, too.

Oh god...

I never had any troubles like that before getting together with her...

Even when the thing with Matsushita happened on the first swimming day with the class, but now... it's the complete opposite.

It's really embarrassing...

Quickly, we ate what remained from the dessert and drank the last bits of the hot cocoa until being finished with it. 

Hiyori and I stood up, paying, until going outside, where I immediately saw how Hiyori wanted to transfer me half of the points I paid. 

Since you couldn't really pay in split, one of us had to pay the full amount. 

"You know, you don't have to."

She shakes her head. "I know. But I want us to pay together, Kaoru."

Nodding my head, Hiyori transferred me half of the points I paid for. 

"What shall we do, now...?" she asks me, embarrassingly. 

"I'm not quite sure. What do you want to do, Hiyori?"

"I would like to spend more time with you before we're going to the dormitories and cook together."

"I feel the same."

Normally, it's more common for Japanese people to eat fried chicken wings on this day, something originating from 1974, which was launched by KFC with the white lie "It's common in the US and the western countries to eat at Christmas in KFC" which no one had doubted, at that time.

It was a white lie, but ever since 1974, it is what is now, a tradition, to eat in Christmas fired chicken wings.

Millions of Japanese eat on Christmas fried chickens at KFC and many Japanese people even order fried chickens months in advance since the queue lines would be too long. 

More importantly than this, however, it's something where you're getting together with your family and sharing this together...

But more than eight years ago I stopped with this tradition.

In fact, despite my near perfect memory, I only remember myself following this tradition three times, from the ages four to six.

I have trouble on remembering myself on what happened before I was four...

Perhaps I'm trying on restricting these memories subconsciously... or I simply do not happen to remember it, but it's fine, either way.

They're probably within one of the most painful memories I have, so this might be for the better, in the end...

Yesterday, although, I told Hiyori that I wasn't quite accustomed to it, as it was for her, and probably everyone else here a given tradition, a basic norm, but for me... it was a very painful reminder again, of what I've lost. 

I hated following this tradition, simply...

Kaori... Kyo... Mother and Father...

Whenever I'm just thinking about it, I'm remembering myself about countless of painful memories. 

Christmas...

It was the day I hated the most, until yesterday, and today, actually...

Surprisingly, it was better than I thought. I enjoyed myself quite much so far, and yesterday, I did, even more... 

Christmas Eve surely was really beautiful...

A relaxing memory...

But I suppose I'm going to get soon back towards how things were, initially...

This will be my last happy memory of Christmas, huh...?

Well... I don't mind, either way.

"There're still many countless of stores we can visit, can't we?"

She nods her head, enthusiastically. "Indeed. Although there're not any Christmas markets here, the school compensates us, since mostly everything else is being offered here."

"That's true. I wonder how the roasted almonds will taste like here. I highly doubt they'll be any better than those from Germany, though."

She looked at my face, suddenly. "Germany...? Were you in Germany perchance, Kaoru?"

"A long time ago, when I was four years old during the winter season, for two weeks. In the state of Bayern, to be more precise."

"I remember how well the roasted almonds tasted. They really tasted good. And the Christmas Market was something else there, too. Although, I bought myself on every occasion I could there, roasted almonds."

She slightly giggled. "You really love sweets, don't you?"

"I do, strangely. Although, until I was here in this school, I'd usually not eat much of them, at all. That's strange for sure."

"I see. But I suppose that isn't that surprising, because of your well-built physique."

"I did train here and there a bit, but that's all. It's nothing quite impressive."

"I don't think one can obtain such a physique by training here and there Kaoru. You certainly sometimes do trivialize of what you do, Kaoru."

"Is that so...? I suppose you could say that, then." 

She nodded her head in satisfaction, that I didn't try to refute her.

"While we're at this topic, are you able to speak some German Words?"

"I do, [Mein Engel]."

She looked at me in slight confusion, having never heard the latter part of the sentence, ever before. 

"What does... it... uhm... mean, Kaoru?"

"It means my angel."

"Angel..." she repeats the word, her face covered full in red. 

"If you like this already, I could speak with you in France, Hiyori."

She turned her head around in embarrassment but then did a slight embarrassed nod. 

A small smile toggled my face, seeing that she liked that I was speaking with her in different languages.

I never planned on using them, anyway.

I'd be living in Japan, so I suppose... my younger self learned some of these languages for nothing. 

"[Je t'aime, mon chéri]."

Again, I could see her slight confused expression trying to translate what I said.

"How about you guess, Hiyori...?"

"Okay... Hmm... Is it something with food?"

"Not even close."

"Oh... I thought since you said chéri, you were speaking about cherries."

"I suppose it would make sense, if you look it at that way, but that's not it." 

"I thought I was pretty close. Okay then..." 

"Is it perhaps the same thing like before...?"

"I was thinking whether I should do it, but that's also not it. I thought I should make it at least a bit more difficult for you."

"I... uhm... have not that much of an idea, Kaoru. Can you give me an hint?"

"Certainly."

I turned myself around, looking at her, with a gaze, I always do. A gaze that was just reserved for her: that showed what I felt with a soft gaze. 

"Can you tell it now?"

"I... love... you...?" she asks, uncertain, towards me, with a flushed expression. 

"Correct. It means I love you, my darling." 

Her face got red and she had troubles of speaking up, until she looked at me. The darling part must have dealt her the final blow. 

I added that deliberately, after all.

"Me too..." she murmured. 

"Hm?"

"I love you, too... Kaoru..." 

"How about you show me how much, Hiyori?"

I walked further with a slight grin on my face, but I saw her stopping walking abruptly, so I stopped, too. 

Approaching me step by step, I saw how the girl I tried to tease was determinedly walking over to me, while the snow was falling down on our clothes. 

I looked at the girl in front of me, who was by now, not even millimeters away from me, anymore. I felt how her arms moved towards my neck, embracing it, while seeing her tiptoeing to reach my height. 

I made it easier for her, by bending slightly down, so she had no troubles. I stared into her violet eyes, like she did stare into my eyes.

Not even a second passed by and our lips were pressed against each other, passionately, until after a few seconds, we stopped. 

"I love you that much, Kaoru."

"Only that much? I thought it'd last longer."

Her face was red again. "Ah... I'm going to show you how much, later..."

"That's fine for me."

I felt a slight unconscious smirk forming on my face, walking with her, hands on hands, further to various different kinds of stores we wanted to visit, for Christmas.

The two of us bought ourselves various kinds of accessories, took pictures on several locations, and bought ourselves some matching clothes. 

But then... we arrived right in front of the store...

I couldn't hide the excitement on my face anymore.

I was really curious how it tasted like now... 

"You really seem excited, Kaoru. And more than usual, I mean."

"If I'm being honest... I didn't eat roasted almonds since I was seven years old. I just remember the taste from the time when I used to eat them. So I'm a bit more excited than usual, I suppose."

"Oh... I see. So that's how it is..."

"Yeah... but don't worry too much about it. Let's enjoy ourselves to our heart contents, today."

She looked a bit hesitated at me, but then followed along, with a nod. 

"I'll make sure you'll love Christmas after today."

"Is that so? I already do as of now, so you were quite successful with it. Or do you have any other plans prepared for me?"

"I-I do..."

"Then I'm curious for later onwards," I smiled slightly at her.

"Please be. I think you'll like it..."

I wasn't sure what Hiyori was referring to, but I shrugged my thoughts off from the potential surprise she prepared for me. 

I didn't want to think about it and let myself be surprised. 

Seconds later, we entered the store, seeing the couple ahead of us moving away, with us being the next ones in the line. 

Both her and I walked ahead.

"Two roasted almonds, please."

"Hm?" I looked at her, as she took her phone out. 

"Can I pay, Kaoru? It'd mean really much for me. I want to treat you." 

"Okay."

"Thank you," she smiled brightly in my direction.

I felt a slight flush of embarrassment forming my face. I did a slight nod, not sure what was wrong with me, again. 

As Hiyori looked patiently, to pay for the roasted almonds, she could luckily not see my facial expression right now. 

How ironic...

If she saw it, she'd have definitely teased me. 

Although seeing her so excited like this, is sure, very beautiful. After a couple of seconds later Hiyori paid for it, and took in both of her hands the two packets of roasted almonds. 

"Here, Kaoru."

"Thank you."

I kindly accepted it, looking at her face, softly.

"There's a Christmas Tree somewhere here. Should we go there...?"

I looked at her and she gave me a slight nod. "Yes. I'm sure it'll be really beautiful."

Despite my excitement about roasted almonds I did not eat them now, since it was reserved for later, when we arrived at our destined location, now.

I held Hiyori's hand, while walking over to the Christmas Tree with two packages in my other hand, for what we bought so far.

Accessories, Matching Clothes, Souvenirs, Picture Frames and various of other things.

I thought Christmas Eve was beautiful, but this might be even better. Holding hands the two of us walked further, until we arrived.

"It's beautiful..." she murmurs. 

The moon shined, the lights of the Christmas Tree shined, and the soft glow of the street lamps cast a romantic ambiance over the scene. 

"Indeed. It's really beautiful. I think it's even more romantic than yesterday."

"I think so too, Kaoru..."

"How about we try on getting us a bench? More and more couples come, so it'll be harder to ensure ourselves a place."

Hiyori gave me a slight nod as both her and I walked over towards a bench, sitting there.

From here, we could observe the Christmas Tree, the Moonlight, alongside enjoying the beautiful atmosphere present. 

Hiyori leaned herself right next to me, and I held her, with my left arm.

"I didn't think anything could outdo yesterday, but now, I think it does."

"I agree. It surely is beautiful, is it not? Today, was quite the day."

"Yes, it is. But the day is still far from over yet, Kaoru. It's still just 8 a.m."

"Indeed. We still have some things planned."

For quite the time we remained like this, enjoying our company together. We also ate the roasted almonds rather quickly, while sitting on the bench.

They were warm, and helped us admits the cold weather. Although I made sure Hiyori would not be feeling cold. 

Not to say, they were quite delicious. For a while, we still remained like this, until the two of us stood up, slowly. 

There weren't many couples here anymore. Most of them walked away, while we, were the exception. 

I simply looked at Hiyori, as we two stood up. 

She looked at me a bit confused. "Is something wrong, Kaoru...?"

"No, nothing at all. I just have something for you prepared."

Slowly I reached in the inside pockets of my jacket taking the gift for her out. 

"A gift...?" she says, slightly bewildered. 

"I think now is the perfect time, is it not? Hopefully, you don't mind it."

She shakes her head. "No, it's fine, for me, too. I was wondering when I should give you mine, too."

"I see. I'm glad, then." 

It was in a black box. She looked at me slightly, so I opened it. 

"A necklace...?"

"I hope you don't mind it and accept it."

Last time I gifted her a necklace... was on our 30 days of couple anniversary where she had known how much I paid for it and requested me to return it, because it was far too expensive and she could not accept it.

She felt bad... because she also did not have much points... as she wanted to buy me something in return, on the same price area... so I had followed along and chose a different gift. 

I failed miserably, in that sense.

I bought her a luxurious fan in the price area of 10.000 private points, ten time less what the necklace at that time costed. 

I could see her a bit flushed, but she followed with an embarrassed nod.

"Can I put it on you, Hiyori?"

"Please do that, Kaoru."

As she held her hair open for me, making sure the necklace would not intervene with it, I put it slowly around her neck. 

"Thank you, Kaoru," she says, smiling brightly at me. 

"No worries."

"I'm sorry... if it's a bit disappointing... but here... is... uhm... mine..."

Out of her inside pocket from her jacket she handed me over something. 

"I hope... uhm... you like it."

I accepted her gift, which was something she made on her own.

It was a self-made scarf. 

"I do. I like it already, very much. Thank you, I'll make sure to treasure it, Hiyori."

"I see. I'm glad. I tried my best with it, but I thought it might be a bit disappointing for you."

"Not at all. I rather hope my gift was not disappointing, instead."

"It wasn't... I really like it, Kaoru. I'll treasure it, definitely."

"That's reassuring to know."

I smiled, slightly, looking at her. I wrapped her scarf around my neck, looking at her.

She was smiling brightly, seeing that I liked it and treasured it where it's at the most secure place, on my body. 

"Shall we, then?" I asked Hiyori that, who looked at me. 

"Yes."

Slowly, the two of us walked back towards the dormitories hands in hands. It was now, around 9 a.m and we two, still had to cook, together, too.

It's a bit of a late dinner meal... but we did quite enjoy our company together the whole time, so it's inclined towards that. 

Both her and I did arrive twenty minutes later at her room. 

Normally we used to be at mine, mostly...

But...

Well...

I did not want her to question what happened to the mirror in the bathroom... 

She was comfortable with either of our room's, likewise was I, so it did not quite matter, in which we were, in the end.

Still... I did not want to lie to her... when it came to that. 

"We're there, Kaoru. Make yourself please comfortable."

"I will. Please excuse me."

I took my shoes off, putting them at her room, on the ground, right next where her shoes were. 

I took off my jacket and put the scarf carefully in the inside pockets of my jacket. It was something I'd treasure definitely.

"Uhm... I hope you don't mind the slight mess..."

As we walked in her room, countless of books could be seen lying quite everywhere. 

"I followed your book recommendations and borrowed them from the library, Kaoru. I didn't think you had insight of so many books of which I never heard before."

"Well... I might be an even greater bookworm than you, Hiyori. I don't look like it however, do I?"

"Not even in the slightest bit. I mean... you're really excellent at everything, so no one would think you're spending so much time behind books." 

"Fuu... hearing my girlfriend complimenting me surely flatters my heart. I think I could listen to more of that."

I smirked unconsciously, remembering what my Mother would be saying, if she listened to me now. 

Just when she was trying to say something I interrupted her, before she really did say something.

"I was just joking. I'm not like a certain Narcissist."

"You mean Koenji-kun? I've heard from him that you two know each other, but how well?"

"You talked with him? That's quite a surprise. I didn't think he'd be the one to initiate a conversation."

"Well... it was a conversation about you, back then at the Island Exam, when our class retired from the exam."

"I see. For a moment I was thinking he tried on flirting with you."

"F-flirting...?!" she says in a bewildered tone, completely surprised by it. 

"I'm just joking, Hiyori."

"Back to your question again, you can put it like this; I'm grateful towards his family in one way or another, I suppose."

She looked a bit confused at my face, not knowing why.

Of course, aside from me, Koenji, and the Government, no one really knew this. 

"If Aoki was at that time also in the car... well..."

"His parents would have become my guardians. Despite not knowing me well, they were ready to take the guardianship of me."

"Not for any advantages like many others would do, but rather, because we'd have done the same, if something happened with his parents."

"Although, our parents were old friends, actually, so it was because of that. We did not meet each other, aside from one time, though."

"Oh, I see."

"Well anyways—"

Just when I wanted to say something, I stopped in the middle, seeing on her desk the book she was reading. 

Realizing where I stared at, she got a bit embarrassed.

"I really love the book... your mother wrote. By now, it's my ninth time reading it. It's a masterpiece, Kaoru."

Although it was incomplete, it covered up to 400 pages. The last 100 pages were something my Mother could not write to the end.

"Is the female protagonist's past..."

"That from my Mother...? Indeed, it is."

"She's like the female protagonist, an orphan. It was the essential reason why she wanted to change how orphanages were run and how the laws were regarding orphans in this country."

"Her book was supposed to convey various kinds of messages she was dissatisfied with. But well... the company they founded has become a huge success in the meantime and years later, I was born."

"I know that she always wanted to finish this book... but I've not much of an idea. Besides I don't think I can, honestly. It takes quite a toll on me when I'm trying on remembering myself about the book or even read it. Do you have any ideas so far...?"

"I'm afraid... I also have not that much of an idea, Kaoru. I'm sorry..."

"You don't have to apologize, Hiyori. There's no reason for you to do that. Anyhow, shall we cook now, then?"

Hiyori nodded her head, to which the two of us went towards the kitchen cooking ourselves a tasty evening meal with side dishes.

The two of us had much fun cooking, as we helped each other, several times.

By now, she had improved herself drastically from the time on October, my birthday, to be more precisely.

I felt touched as she tried on practicing on the free time cooking, since she was not the best cook according to her.

Although I would eat her meals always. It didn't matter how it tasted. 

Well... a bit... but I didn't mind it, regardless. 

I always loved it, when she tried on cooking me something. Among the two of us, I was the one, who would cook, for a long time.

Now it's interchangeable between the two of us. 

I smiled slightly, and focused myself on the presence, eating my meal, sharing it with Hiyori, several amount times. 

After a couple minutes later, the two of us finished eating, feeling full. 

"Kaoru, I have to go to the toilet. I'll be right back."

I nodded simply, standing up, bringing the plates towards the kitchen, clearing it and putting it into the dishwasher. 

"Ahhh!"

A scream echoed from the bathroom, where Hiyori was in. 

Full of worry, I rushed towards the bathroom in headache monetarily thinking of what could have happened potentially to her to release such a loud scream. 

Grabbing the doorknob, I moved it downwards in hope that it was unlocked.

She knew that I would not be coming in, so I hoped, it was unlocked, deep down. 

Otherwise, I'd have to kick the door in to unlock it. 

Clack

"K-Kaoru... there's a spider..." Pointing with her index finger where the spider was she looked at me, slightly scared. 

"I don't think the spider is the biggest problem here..."

I looked at my girlfriend, who was in her...

Underwear....

[Image:]

She was wearing a light blue underwear, a light blue bra, the outskirt of the bra adorned with a subtle black pattern along its edges.

Every curve of her body was accentuated by her underwear the light blue fabric caressing her skin.

Despite having already seen her skin in one occasion, when the two of us were swimming in October, my eyes could not help but to glance at her skin that looked as smooth as silk.

But quickly, I covered my eyes with my two hands.

And in the process... I felt something else on my body slowly changing...

"Hiyori... you're not wearing your clothes anymore..." 

My face was as red as I could imagine, as I walked in, when she did not wear any underwear. 

It was not only because of that.. but because something else was getting...

Hard... 

"Ah... yes. Can we speak further when the spider is gone, Kaoru...?"

"Okay... but please go behind me. Otherwise... I cannot concentrate myself well."

I heard footsteps towards the back, until I slowly removed my hands that covered my eyes, looking at the front, not seeing Hiyori anymore.

I moved a couple of steps and looked at the front... and saw... where the spider was on...

It was on the...

"Christmas Dress..."

"It was supposed to be a surprise, Kaoru... After seeing how much you liked the Maid Costume... I wanted to make you feel happy."

"But the spider surprised me just when I grabbed my Christmas Dress..."

I'm not sure whether I should curse... or be happy...

I was in a inner conflict, struggling, currently...

In the end, I was simply, a boy, too...

I could resist much, but even I... had a limitation...

"Can you make sure... not to kill it? I am... afraid... of spiders... but still... the spider didn't harm me..."

"Don't worry, I've got it. Can you... uhm... bring me a glass...?"

"Of course..."

As I heard her turning around, her footsteps indicating that she was leaving the bathroom...

I had one single thing in my mind, despite my current predicament... 

Should I... turn myself around...?

Or at least try to catch a glance...?

No... what am I even thinking about...

My hormones are like this again...

Breathing in and out I calmly waited for Hiyori, who was three seconds later back again, as I heard her footsteps almost directly behind me. 

"Can you hold your arm in front of me so that I can take the glass...?"

"Okay..."

I was thinking of turning around... but I didn't want her to see... what happened with my pants...

I slowly took the glass with my left hand, going towards the spider.

"I have you now..."

I held the glass against the... Dress, where the spider was on...

Then I took the Dress with my other hand, turning it around, so that the spider would fall down inside the bottom of the glass, not being able to flee...

"Uhm Hiyori... I have the spider now..."

"Okay..."

"Can you...?"

"Of course..."

She stepped outside the bathroom, and I hoped... I could calm my pants down before she could see..

The large bulge on my pants...

I made myself quickly on my way outside the bathroom... opening the door immediately just to the point that the camera would not record me because I didn't want to give the school material about whether we...

Did the deed or not...

I released the spider and closed the door, immediately, afterwards. 

In Japan...

Spider's at night usually mean a bad omen... and at morning... a good omen...

I suppose today... it was a good omen... then...

I was never one to believe such things, either.

"Thank you... Kaoru..."

"No... problem..."

I faced the door with my face, waiting for Hiyori to change herself. 

"Kaoru..."

"Yes...?" I answered back, still embarrassed as I didn't hear Hiyori changing at all. 

"I'm...uhm... fine... if you were to look at me..."

"I don't think it's a good idea..."

"Do you... perhaps find me... not attractive enough...?"

"Of course not. I find it extremely hard to not look at you, currently. I'm trying my hardest... to keep my head just ahead..."

" I don't mind it. You can turn yourself around. I'm fine... as long as it's just you... who sees me like this..." 

"Okay..."

Taking a deep breath I turned myself around. 

"Uh..." she says in a shy tone, covering her eyes with her hands, looking at me. 

"Yeah..." 

"Is it because of your hormones... or..."

"No... I simply find it hard... to resist you. I said it were my hormones... but... I just searched for an excuse to hide the fact that you made me feel this way..."

"I never wanted to make you feel... insecure. I was... just embarrassed..."

"Thank you..."

"No worries..."

"Kaoru..."

"Yes...?"

"Can you... step a bit closer...?"

"Okay..."

Approaching her step by step, the two of us were not even strains of hairbreadths away from each other. 

I looked at her embarrassed face as she looked into mine. I made sure she was not focusing on my part below, although... It was hard for her...

For me, too. I was deeply feeling how my pants could slowly not restrict it anymore. 

It was... hard to control...

I hold her by her waist... exploring with my fingertips her soft, smooth body. 

"Mmmh..."

She released a slight moan and gave me an embarrassed look. 

Because of that I felt how my hands were moving something else, as I held her by her thighs, carrying her, suddenly.

Her arms enveloped around my neck and I moved towards the bedroom...

I made my way hastily towards the bedroom, as Hiyori continued to look embarrassingly at my face. 

After a couple of steps we've arrived there, and I, threw her on the bed. 

"Haaah..."

She shouts in surprise, looking at me, very embarrassingly. 

Her embarrassment increased because I immediately removed the pullover I was wearing, throwing it somewhere in the room away, as Hiyori looked at me, with her hands covering her eyes. 

"Please... be... gentle... Kaoru..."

Once my neurons heard that, I approached her on the bed immediately, touching her slowly with my hands on her legs. 

"Mmmh..."

"Does that feel good, Hiyori...?"

"Yeah..."

I heard her quiet, shy, embarrassed voice, as my fingertips had touched her legs, moving from downwards slowly upwards, feeling her soft skin.

But now, I saw that both of her hands were not covering her eyes anymore, so my hands and hers engulfed each other, as my face moved slowly forwards, to her neck. 

I kissed her on the erogenous zone of the neck.

"Hmmh..."

Releasing such a moan from her mouth I moved both of my hands towards her bottom underwear, her panties, in the process of pulling it downwards, until stopping, before even having done something. 

As I was on my knees on the bed, not doing anything, Hiyori, who was embarrassed and shy still, muttered my name in a quiet voice.

"Kaoru...? Is... uhm... something... wrong...?"

"Yeah... I don't have..."

"Well..."

"Contraceptions..."

"Ah..." she says, a bit embarrassed. 

When we first started this day... neither of us thought it'd end up, with us, doing it, almost. 

Especially not me... 

I knew that our relationship grew with each day and we become more intimate. In particular... after... the day when I confronted Chairman Sakayanagi... where I had the thought that she was okay with doing it...

Seeing our development now and that Hiyori was not even in the slightest bit opposed to it... it was clearly... that it'd have developed similar like now 

I lied myself next to her. "Sorry. I ruined it." 

"No... you did not. It's better that we stop now..."

If I did not do this now...

I might have not been able to stop the entire evening.

In the case I truly continued... and we did it...

And I did not do it outside because of whatever reason of my hormones or sudden cause of recklessness from my side...

Would I throw away my revenge... if she were to get, you know...

I think... I would... 

I cannot tell... but I definitely would not leave her alone, ever... 

Today... I truly... could not restrain myself like the day after I confronted Chairman Sakayanagi... 

The more we're together, the more our relationships continues to grow stronger... 

Christmas has been the prove of that...

"Kaoru... can I touch... your abs...?"

I felt her words echoing my ears as it thwarts me off from my thoughts. 

"If you'd like."

"Thank you."

"Is it fine... if I touch... your thighs...?"

"Uhm... okay..."

As I felt her soft hands slowly caressing my abs, feeling her fingers moving sideways, upwards, and even downwards, I reciprocated it, not like her, on the stomach area, but by slowly caressing and moving my fingertips on her right thigh with my left arm 

"Hmmh..."

Releasing such a moan, again, I felt like how it got even worse with my current predicament. 

She did it, too, reciprocating these things on my abs, which left me feeling even more strange and difficult.

I looked at her other hand, which was near... her other thigh what left me imaging things, of what she could potentially do...

I hastily stood up, walking out of the bed, with a even larger bulge than before...

I was near...

Well...

No never mind.

"Hiyori... I think it's better if I'll be going..."

She did a slight embarrassed nod as she lied on the bed, so seducing for my eyes, with her underwear, that left me in an inner conflict whether I should not just do it. 

I took my pullover from the ground clothing myself quickly in it. 

"Goodbye..."

"Goodbye, Kaoru..." she says in a quiet tone.

For me however, it sounds just very alluring, making it more difficult for me. 

I glanced at her for a moment, seeing her so helplessly lying there and how I was feeling like staying. 

But I walked further, until towards the door, changing myself into my shoes... while my jacket was covering that certain part that I did not want the camera to record. 

I opened the door, closing it, immediately, walking towards the elevator. One minute later I arrived at my respective room, closing it. 

But instead of sleeping and shrugging these things off...

I...

I did something unexpected, that I did not do ever before...

I ended up... pleasuring myself that evening... in the shower...

--

A/N: And this concludes the chapter.

Very long, I'm aware of that. 

Share your thoughts with me.

And your predictions for the Future, too. 

Please give me some feedback regarding this chapter. How did you find it?

It was a bit on the R18 Terms towards the end...

Yeah... well... anyway, I hope you liked it. 

If we count the Auxiliary Chapter, with this Chapter, we're now at Chapter 69. 

I didn't do this deliberately, if some of you are asking that. I was surprised myself, when I noticed that, lol.

Anyhow, next chapter is going to be a bit more different, I suppose. 

For now, be satisfied with this very long chapter. 

That'll be all. Have a great Day.

Also, I hope you can see the AI Art.

I'm going to sleep now. Sayonara.