12 Chapter 12

Alexia

I walk into the counseling office and see a mid-aged woman with beautiful chestnut hair. She smiles at me and walks toward me. She puts her hand out to shake my hand. I get the feeling that she is going to be someone that I can talk to.

"You must be Ophelia. I'm Mrs. Adams, and I am your counselor." She smiles brightly.

"It's nice to meet you. Ms. Henson told me that you would be working with me on my plans." I smile as she leads me to her office.

We both take our seats after she closes the door. I look around her office and see that she has a neat and organized office. I notice that, unlike my last counselor's office, there are no motivational posters all over the wall. There are none of those little nicknacks that have words of wisdom on them.

"So I spoke with Ms. Henson and she let me know that your last school didn't seem to have a very good counseling program."

She says giving me a week smile.

"Yeah, they were more focused on problems that you were facing at present. I didn't trust them much since it was a small town and the counselor was an old friend of my father's."

Her eyes widen a bit, and I can see that she has caught on to the meaning of my words. Everything that I said in the past was told to my father. I never shared anything that wasn't outstanding about my family. I had the idea that they may find out, and I was right. I kept everything very vague or just outright lied.

"I'm going to be honest with you because I feel like I can. My home life isn't the greatest. I'm not abused in any way but, my parents show favoritism to my sister. I have lots of things I keep hidden from them. I do not trust them at all." It feels so good to get that off my chest.

The voice in the back of my head keeps telling me that I can't trust anyone. I fight within myself daily to trust. I know that I have to give people a chance to prove themselves and that not everyone is like my family. If I have any hopes of things changing in my life and getting the acceptance that I desperately want then I have to trust at some point.

"I want you to know Ophelia, that nothing you say leaves this office. I want to be here as a support for you. I have looked over your records and spoken with your teachers. Everyone says the same things. You are known as an amazingly smart and kind person. They also notice that you are someone that doesn't trust easily. You didn't have friends in the past. Your last principle made sure to put that in your records." I look down ashamed that my inability to keep friends is something that proceeded me.

"Living in the same place your whole life can be hard. People know you from the very beginning, and they don't forget your past. But you have a new and fresh start now. I have seen that you and some of the boys around here seem to get along. I've seen you smile and open up some." She has a grin on her face.

"I'm trying to fight a war within myself. There's a voice in my head telling me not to trust anyone. That everyone will turn out like my family and this boy I kinda liked."

I go on and tell her the story of what happened with Katherine and the boy was going to be my first date. The pain is still there. My heart feels like it is being stabbed over and over. I know that the pain isn't because I was in love with the guy. I barely knew him. The come comes from the fact that my flesh and blood hates me so much that she is willing to hurt me this way.

She was willing to try and rip my heart out because she hates me. That thought alone brings tears to my eyes. She not only did that, but she somehow made my parents think differently of me. I can't remember the exact date, but I remember the things that happened that day. I had been at the park, and when I came back, my parents looked at me differently. There was hate in their eyes, and Katherine sat there with a smug look on her face.

"I can't imagine what it has been like for you. I know that it hurts to have your family treat you so harshly. Have you tried to talk to them?" She has a look of genuine concern on her face.

"No. The things that they have said lead me to believe that they have already made up their minds. They are stubborn people they rarely change their minds. I don't know what was said but, something made them hate me."

"Ophelia, I would like to have a regular meeting with you. I'm here to not only help you with your plans but I'm also here to counsel you on anything that you need. I think that you need to work through the feelings that you have regarding your family." She says this calmly as if she is trying to ease me into the idea.

"I've never had therapy before," I whisper. It's not that I don't want to, it's just that I'm scared of what we may uncover.

"That's fine honey. I want to help you reach the full potential that you have. Learning your true feeling can help you unlock the parts of yourself that have been locked away. You are amazing and, there is so much that you are capable of. I want to be there to help." Her words comfort me.

I finish up my counseling session and set up another meeting for Monday at lunch. She wants to spend the whole afternoon doing an assessment. After talking to her about everything, I feel like I may finally be able to work through all of the stuff in my mind.

The rest of the day flies by, and I head home. I have a few hours before I am meeting the guys, so I start working on homework. About an hour in a hear my phone ringing. I look down and see that it's Maggie. A smile instantly lights my face and I can't wait to talk to her.

"Maggie!" I say with a chuckle.

"Ophelia my love how are you?" She laughed.

"I'm going well how about you?"

"Great. So glad it is the weekend. Classes have been brutal this week. I'm getting ready to head over to work in a few and thought I would check up on you. So what are you doing tonight?"

"I actually have plans. I'm going to see a movie with your brother and his friends." I hold my breath waiting for her reaction.

"Are you serious? That's great! Are you dating one of them?"

Why did she automatically go to that conclusion I laugh internally and smile at her silly question? Ever since she found out that I haven't had my first date she has been trying her hardest to get me to go on one. She thinks that her brother would be great for me, but she knows how he is with girls and she doesn't want me to go through that.

"No, I'm not on a date with any of them. I told them the only way that I would go out is if it was a gathering of friends. I'm not ready to date any of them. Plus you know how they are with girls."? I hear her huff on the other end.

"I know. I just really want you to have a high school fling before it's too late. I know you have missed out on so much because you are always working. I don't want you to look back on high school and have regrets." She sounds sad as she says this.

"I promise to not regret anything. I am making progress. I want to take my time with dating. I couldn't bear another heartbreak." I tell her honestly.

"but you barely knew that guy. Plus, I find it awfully funny that you have yet to say his name." She's right. I haven't told anyone his name.

"His name was Max, and the heartbreak was moreover the fact that my sister could hurt me that way. Even if she hurt me, that is a little much." Saying his name is kind of healing. Not saying his name was giving him power over me.

"Well, as we have talked about, let people prove themselves to you. be open to the chance that you could find love. Who knows one of those morons could be your soul mate." She giggles at the end of that.

We talk for a few more minutes, and then she has to go. Her words run through my mind. Maybe I should look at the possibility of love. I have always wanted to have a family of my own. I can't let the past dictate my future.

I start getting ready for my night out, and I feel myself getting excited. I send Mason a text asking if we are eating tonight and get an immediate response. He says that if I want we can. That is how I find myself heading out the door to the local pizza place.

I walk in and see the guys are all waiting on me. As I cross the room I see Katherine sitting across the room glaring at me. The last thing I need is her thinking that this is a date. Pearce grabs my hand and has me sit between him and Dominic. Cole is across from me, and he gives me a huge smile.

I settle in and hope that this night doesn't blow up in my face. But somewhere deep inside I hope that I can let my walls down and open myself up for one evening.