1) Reborn

"I would have dated you sooner if I knew you would've reaped such rewards for me. Seriously, I commend myself for putting up with such a pathetic man for a boyfriend. It's just what I deserve after all my hard work." Said my girlfriend of two years.

I lie in silence, ready for death. I wish it was tomorrow already. No one knows I'm lying here awake, listening to everyone in my life be revealed.

The person that conducted the test was drunk. I smelled the alcohol. He rendered me brain dead.

I wouldn't have survived if he didn't though. My parents and girlfriend both had all of the pre-decided plans for me in case I wasn't brain dead. I got to hear about every bit of it. I've shed no tears, though I revel in the day when they get the insurance payout.

I thought my girlfriend and I were getting married. I was fresh out of college with all of the debt. I wanted to let her know if we were to get married, it wouldn't all fall to her. So, I got life insurance. $100,000 was the best I could do with my college debt and entry level job. She never asked how much. It's her own fault.

Though even before we got together, I always did everything for her. I've loved her since high school. I've pursued her for a whole decade. There were times I knew I was being used and I just did not care. 

I thought she was the best I could ever do. So here I am waiting for death, listening to her prattle. Later my parents will come in for their daily dramatic crying. I'm happy they're most likely not going to get any of the money due to the specific outline of all medical expenses related to my death being taken out first and foremost. Plus to get the money they have to agree to take on all my debt.

America doesn't have free health care so... this bitch isn't getting shit.

The door opened and the bitch went silent. "Do you mind if I'm alone with him one last time?"

It's him again. Unlike everyone else he hasn't said a word. Just asks to be alone and sits silently next to me.

The bitch leaves an he sits there for a moment. Though to my surprise he starts talking. "I always loved you. I always wanted to lock you up. I wanted to be the only one that ever saw you. I wanted to keep you away from all of this. Though I know you didn't like me. I needed you to smile. I needed you to be happy."

What is he talking about? This is my childhood friend Ash. Lock me up. That's kind of creepy.

Ash kept talking. "You fell in love with her so I did everything I could to help you. She made you smile. That was enough. I could never make you smile like that. Why couldn't it have been me? I wouldn't have locked you up I promise. I know it would have killed you. I'm not the one who killed you."

He stood up and started pacing. His voice went... fanatical. It was creepy. I felt goosebumps all over my body. I know Ash was a bit creepy at times. He sometimes didn't know boundaries.

He loves me?

He sat down and after a moment he started playing with my hair and caressing my face. "I know they killed you. I'm going to kill them all. Everyone that's hurt you. I don't know who killed you so I'll kill them all. I can't kill them till your heart stops. I have my list ready. I just have to capture them and kill them. Everything is set up."

He came in close and whispered in my ear. "I should have locked you up when I had the chance. Why didn't I? I'll follow you after you die. Once everyone else is dead I'll follow you and I'll be a girl next time. I lock you up. You'll never leave me. You don't need to smile. You just need to be alive."

Okay I'm creeped out now.

I felt something soft and gentle on my lips. Did he just kiss me? After that he stopped and left. I felt cold after that. 

What does that make him? A yandere? My best friend is a yandere?

Shouldn't that be the worst thing to ever happen to me? No it's actually not even that bad. Creepy no doubt.

Though does that make him the only one in this life that loved me. Although in a perverted and kind of messed up way. If I take what he said, he just wanted me to smile. He didn't go full stalker cause he just wanted me to smile.

I think that's the nicest thing someone has said to me on my deathbed.

My girlfriend entered the room after he left. I laid there contemplating my life. This time ignoring her useless prattle.

After she left I didn't sleep. My mind still panicked. Not quite ready to accept death.

My brain got stuck on Ash. I don't know why. Maybe because I never even considered a guy before. Maybe because he kissed me. As creepy as it was, I really am not upset.

Maybe I knew. Deep down. Okay maybe not very deep. I guess he always made jokes like this. Guess they weren't jokes.

I knew he was gay. I knew in high school he had a thing for me. We just never talked about it. At that point I was set on the person who put me here.

I know it's wrong. I am creeped out by all of it. However... I miss him right now. He's the only one. All of my so-called friends either didn't come or came to take pictures and post them on social media. One guy even took a girl here. For a first date. That was really awkward for me.

Though Ash came and declared his creepy love for me. He promised me vengeance. After everything, how can I not miss the one person who cares about me. Although creepy, as the saying goes love is love. It's the only love I've been given that I know is real.

At some point I fell asleep. Occasionally being awoken by the nurses.

Finally it was time. I silently had to accept my fate. They pulled the plug. I started struggling to breathe. I held out for a while. My girlfriend and parents are making a show of grief for my death.

I cursed them. I hope Ash kills you three carefully. If we meet again in the next Life I won't even give you the time of day.

Suddenly my father was on top of me, choking me with his bare hands. 

I thought it was a hallucination. Or a memory. 

I tried to hit him. My arm actually moved. I hit him square in the face.

He let go cursing at me. "Aw fighting back now are we? You useless child! I'll teach you!"

I coughed on the ground confused. Happy to be breathing but confused. I have to run. I have to escape.

The hospital isn't safe. The hospital? Wait? Is this an end of death hallucination? This is my parent's piece of shit house.

Whatever. If I can move I need to run. I'm not dead god damn it! I struggled to move. However, my father is no small man. He just sat on my chest.

He grabbed my arms and put them under me. "You piece of shit child." He grabbed my neck again. I tried to struggle but it was hopeless.

Suddenly he stopped and leaned over. Then puked. I managed to pull myself away coughing and crawling into the first room closest to me.

I closed the door. It's my old room. Memory and instinct kicked in and I pulled the cupboard in front of my door.

There was more banging and yelling. Though he never broke threw when I was younger. I should be fine. Now what the hell. I reached along the wall finding my old fairy lights.

My smaller than a normally sized office bedroom. It was mine until I moved out at 18. Why am I here? How am I here? Don't tell me I went back in time on my deathbed. Did I?

I looked at my walls. The calendar on the wall was marked. I looked closely. It was two days after the start of Senior year of high school. Holy Shit!

I remember this day. My dad lost his job. He decided to take it out on me. I wore a scarf and couldn't talk much for two weeks after today.

I went back in time. Holy Shit! I got another shot at this.

I started looking for my phone. After tossing all the shit on my floor I found it in my pile of blankets that I turned into a makeshift bed.

I powered on the cracked screen piece of shit phone. Sure enough everything was in order. I had a background of that bitch that I quickly changed. I fumed at the idea of having to even look at her.

I looked through and quickly changed it to the only other picture I had. Me and Ash. We took it when we went to the Carnival, I guess just this summer. She was also in it but I quickly cropped her out.

So I went approximately 7 years back in time. Before I moved out. Before I graduated. Before college. Before it all.

I don't know how or why. I don't mind that it was such a terrible time in my life. I'm alive. I have a second shot. I'm not entirely sure what to do. I do know what not to do though.

I deleted the photos I had of that bitch. Blocked and deleted her number. I worked so hard to get it. Blocking and deleting it was too easy in comparison.

I looked through my shit again and found a handheld mirror and a first aid kit.

Originally, my Father didn't rough up my face today. I didn't fight back when he wanted to choke me. Not anymore at least.

Shit he hit me kind of hard didn't he. I treated my wound the best I could. Guess I'm a bit out of practice.

I'll get an ice pack for the bruises in a bit. My Father is still losing his shit at my door.

Ah well. I got time. I'm Reborn after all.