I Wish For a Time Machine

*DISCLAIMER* If you are triggered by child sexual abuse please do not read this chapter. This is my story the only lies in it are the names for legal reasons. Thank you.

That summer my mom bought a pool for us. I could only wear mens shorts and shirts or id be a whore looking for attention. It was just her boyfriend and I in the pool. My little brother went in the house because he was done. Her boyfriend sat on one end and I swam on the other. Before I knew it he had grabbed me and I felt pressure and pain in my vaginal area.

I was able to get out of his grasp and I said; " Dont touch me or Ill call CPS" I was scared and I didnt know where that came from. Maybe i imagined it or maybe it was an accident but what he said next comfirmed that he infact meant what he did. "Go ahead who do think your mother would believe?" he said in a snide tone. That shut me up and I got out of the pool.

We ended up having to walk to get my mom and he says; "Katherina, men have needs. When men get horney we do things we normally wouldnt do". I didnt understand that at all. I didnt know what it meant but I knew I didnt want it to happen again. For months it didnt. It wasnt until we moved to Lockport that things started up again. At that time I felt safer with him than I did with my mother.

No one wants a mother who threatens to break their jaw or to beat them for just breathing right? I ran away because my friend made eggs and I didnt know how many she used until she came upstairs and went off. She told me if i said one word she would "break my fucking jaw". My friend told me it was time to go. When my mother left we left not too long after. Only took an hour before I was taken back to her house. Where I was screamed at and then told I was loved.

Second time I ran away was because I was sick of being yelled at for not knowing how to do something. I was tired of my little brother getting away with everything and I get slapped and my hair pulled for what he did. I guess thats my Karma for what I put my sister through all those years ago with Dale and Sadie. It always ended the same with "I love you and I'm sorry your dad stoled you away from me"

If this was love I didnt want it.