Comical.

22 Aug XXXX

Dear,

It is very sad. Vazen Klutz, he was supposed to be not affected by me at all. But I was late. Again I am at fault. Because of me he is not anymore. It is all confusing now. Counting from the beginning, the number is 46 yet.

It doesn't matter. When I was deep in the ocean, he pulled me up into the sunlight. And now when he left, I stuck in an eternal storm. Perhaps I should have drowned. Then he would still have been living. Oh Lord, where could this head find an importance.

"Look into my eyes,

And melt at my words.

Flutter your heart,

And kiss away your faults.

Be there any Freedom,

Cage it along with your fear.

You will no longer feel stupefied,

As long as you are mine,

You are destined to die."

Whatever the truth. Tomorrow...it is his funeral. And I can't join. I have no courage.

~Jagira.

As I read it, I start recollecting regretfully.

My loneliness...it hurted so many.

As I lay on the wet grains of earth, I began to feel the effect on me.

My head, scanning every section, for the best motive to die.

Yes. That was what I can do to anyone.

Provoke Death.

Mysterious. Accidental. Beautiful. Inspiring. Betraying.

All the adjectives felt weak to describe it.

Vazen was my husband. We met two years ago. And I would describe his departure 'Comical'.

Just on a silly Saturday, we went to have a picnic. To be honest, I wanted him to spend time and make out with me.

As he stood near the cliff, amidst the light fog and tender breeze, I gave him the warm smile. The one he always liked. A spark rushed along out veins, I felt.

Casually, he put his hands in his pocket.

And that's where the things start to get wrong.

A blade was purposely decided to be there.

He pulled it out. The impulse of throwing got converted into something murderous. He stretched his arm to me, we were like six feet apart, and drew a vertical line. Right from the joint of eyebrows, down till it reached the joint where the beauty bones meet. As deep as he could. And finishing with slashing his throat.

I stared him. Because I didn't knew what to do. My fault was I looked at him for a bit too long. He laid there on his stomach, his eyes questioning me or may be cursing or may be... I don't know what they were saying. Those pair which needed attention all this time, ended up regretting.

And I sat there. A part of me relieved because what I feared all along was over. A part of me disgusted because I was back to where I was.

That same cold room drenched in negatives only.

The sandwiches were waiting like they were. Everything was same. But him.

Wonderful.