checkmate 006

<< m i s a o >>

"GREAT! ACTUALLY I'M ON MY WAY THERE." Saki's voice was cheerful and sweet. I can feel how excited he is to meet me again.

"Ha?" I blinked twice. I heard Saki clearly but my mind was taking a while to process what he said. I waited hoping he'll say it's just a joke.

"Is something wrong, Misao?"

"It's just that, I'm not at home right now." I paused contemplating about telling the truth. In the end I know better than telling him an excuse. "I'm helping a friend on our assignment."

"I see..." The cheerfulness of his voice faded and quickly replaced by disappointment. I could almost hear him frowning at the other end. "Then, should I just go back? Actually, I'm almost near your address."

I rubbed the back of my neck, thinking. I promised Toshiro that I will help him finish the assignment today. I just can't leave him like that... But is it okay for him to meet Saki? It's not like there's still something going on between me and Saki, likewise, Toshiro and I are still just friends. Toshiro won't even be bothered if he knew about my past with Saki.

I told Saki that he can call me and that he can visit me anytime he's not busy. He really seems excited today. I don't want to break that happiness.

"No. I'm heading back home. Wait for me."

He chuckled, "Sure."

I entered the café and returned to my seat across Toshiro. My mind was lost in thought thinking how to tell him.

"What's with that troubled face?" He asked as he sipped on his coffee.

"Uhm, Can you do the assignment on your own?"

"Huh?" His mouth gaped open, "No. The next problems are way more complicated. I don't think I can solve these on my own." He closed his laptop while eyeing me with confusion... and worry. "What's the matter, Misao? What happened?"

"Uhm… My old friend is coming over." I heaved a deep sigh, "If it's okay with you, you can continue with the assignment in my apartment, at least there you can still ask me anytime."

His lips curved into a big, bright smile. "Yeah, totally okay! Promise, I won't disturb you guys too much. I just wanted to finish this damn exam today."

"Okay. Let's go back."

***

TOSHIRO AND I WERE WALKING BACK TO MY APARTMENT WHEN WE SAW A BLACK SEDAN PARKED IN FRONT OF MY APARTMENT AND A GUY WAS CASUALLY LEANING ON IT.

"Wah!" Toshiro, walking beside me, exclaims. "That car looks cool!"

Toshiro was never a fan of automobiles but he likes fancy things and he has good eyes for them. On his face plastered a big, stupid yet adorable smile.

As we approached near the car, the guy standing by the car turned to look at us. Even though he's wearing a plain white shirt and simple black jeans, he still looks classy and fashionable in them. His height and good-looks are not much of help either in keeping his appearance modest.

"Misao!" He flashed a big smile, his eyes were also smiling. "What took you so long?"

"Sorry Saki." I glanced at Toshiro and caught him admiring Saki's appearance. "Toshi—"

"You're the friend Misao's helping with the assignment?" Now, Saki's attention was on Toshiro.

Toshiro just nodded a bit confused.

Saki's big smile shifted into an apologetic one. "Sorry, I disturbed the both of you... By-the-way I'm Saki, Misao's childhood friend."

Saki extended his hand to Toshiro for a handshake in which Toshiro gladly accepted. "I'm Toshiro. Uhm... your car looks so cool, Saki-san."

Saki glanced back to his car. It was shining from the reflection of the sun. "Thanks. But Misao's car is a lot cooler than mine."

"Really?"

"Yep! But his sister was the one using it now."

"Guys...we've been standing here, let's go inside the house first."

***

< third POV >

SAKI AND TOSHIRO WERE SITTING ON THE SOFA INSIDE MISAO'S APARTMENT. The place is not spacious but it's not really small but still, the living room seemed so cramped for the three of them.

Toshiro can't understand why he's feeling so nervous and awkward event though this was not the first time he's been into Misao's apartment. Meanwhile, Saki was scanning the area. There was not much to see – no picture frames hanging on the wall, not one toy car on display despite the fact that Misao liked collecting them back then, the only furniture were the small sofa, a table, an old television, single-door refrigerator, and some utensils used for cooking and eating in the kitchen at the other end of the room.

Then, Saki's eyes fixated on Misao, who was pouring drinks for them. Toshiro unconsciously glanced at Saki and at that moment, Toshiro can't explain the strange thought forming in his mind.

'I almost forgot that even Misao has a friend from his hometown. He rarely ever talked about his past.'

"Here." Misao carefully placed two glasses of cold water on the small table in front of Toshiro and Saki. Misao's deep voice pulled Toshiro out from his thoughts.

"Thanks, Misao. I got so thirsty waiting for you guys." Saki grabbed the glass and drank everything.

Misao pulled a chair from the kitchen into the living room and then he flopped himself on it, facing his two friends. "Who told you to wait under the scorching sun? You should have stayed inside your car."

Saki chuckled cutely, "I just wanted to see you immediately."

Misao just gave him with a small smile, shaking his head as he glanced at Toshiro. "Toshiro, do you want to continue working on the assignment in my room?"

'Misao's room?' Toshiro shifted from his seat. It's convenient to work inside Misao's room while the two catch up with each other but Toshiro, somewhat, also wanted to listen to their conversation. "Ah..."

'Are they really just friends?'

He immediately got rid of the thought.

'I should not doubt Misao. Besides, Saki-san seems like a nice guy. But… does Saki-san know about Misao's preference?'

"I want to see your room, Misao!" Saki chimed in excitedly. He was eagerly looking at Misao and smiling from ear to ear trying to convince him by acting cute.

Misao stared at Saki. If he sees this smile 4 years ago for sure he'll be swept away. But now, it doesn't have that much effect on him unlike before. He's now captivated by somebody else's smile. Is what Misao thought.

The strange thought from before was bugging Toshiro once again.

"It's just a small room, Saki. You won't find anything interesting there."

Saki's smile faded away. "So… you didn't bring anything from the main house?"

"Not a single one." Misao gestured his hands as if presenting the room. "As you can see... I don't have enough room for those stuffs."

Saki heaved a deep sigh. Disappointment was clearly showing on his face.

"Ah. I'm okay here Misao. I can just use the table in the kitchen." Toshiro pointed at the small dining table across from where they're sitting.

"Okay." Misao stood up, helping Toshiro bring his things on that table. He also gave him a can of soda and snacks from his refrigerator. "Just call for me if you need help, 'kay?"

Toshiro was caught off-guard when Misao gently patted his head. He glanced up to see Misao's face and it surprised him even more when he sees him smiling lovingly at him. "O-Okay. Thanks, Misao…"

All the while, Saki was watching them.

Misao returned in the living room and sat beside Saki on the sofa.

"This whole apartment is smaller than your old room..." Saki commented.

Misao shrugged his shoulders. "It doesn't matter. I'm the only one using this apartment. Besides, I don't have that kind of luxury anymore. So… what brought you here, Saki?"

Saki playfully raised his right brow. "Uhm? Do I need a reason to see you? You told me I can talk to you anytime."

Misao threw a quick glance at Toshiro, whose busy working on his assignment. "I know. It's fine with me but for sure your father will be angry if he found out you're talking with me again."

Saki froze on his seat as he took a few seconds to observe Misao's face. Catching on his innocent and confused expression he asked, "Misao... You're really unaware?"

Misao's brows furrowed. "About?"

"My dad died 3 months ago. My brother's handling our businesses now."

"I... I didn't know." Misao averted his gaze. "I'm sorry for your loss, Saki."

"It's okay Misao. I'm okay." Saki's lips curled in a sad smile. "I was sad and dumbfounded when I heard about it but when I think about it, we never really had any good memories together. He died without even accepting what I am.

"After he sent me to UK, he cut off all my means of communication, he monitored my every move, he constantly reminded me that he'll disown me if he found out I'm having a relationship with a man. I lived in fear and self-pity. But every time I think of you, I know that you are more in pain than I do. What hurt me more is that, I can't be beside you all this time. But what can I do? I was just a kid back then. A kid who's scared he'll lose his family." His eyes were so distant and empty.

"It's okay Saki. You don't have to blame yourself. We're both just powerless kids back then. But see? I'm fine now. You're fine. Let's just move on from the past, okay?"

Saki nodded and started crying.

Misao gently patted Saki on his back trying to calm him down, "It's okay. I'll get you more water."

Toshiro immediately turned his attention back to his work when he saw Misao got up from his seat. He tried not to eavesdrop but the serious atmosphere around them made him lose focus, though he wasn't really able to hear exactly what they're talking about. Despite that, Toshiro knew well enough that he's an outsider.

Toshiro froze when Misao stopped beside him. He bit his lower lip debating to himself if he should ask what happened, his chest pounding. "Misao?"

But the pounding abruptly stopped when he saw Misao forcing a smile. "Hm?"

At that tiny fraction of second, Toshiro knew that Misao was forcing himself. There was a sharp pain in his chest, as if his heart was being clenched.

"Ah… C-Can you help me with this problem?"

Misao leaned down to teach him.

***

"I WILL COME AGAIN."

Saki turned around smiling. He was about to leave, Misao and Toshiro see him off by the doorway.

"Please Saki. Next time tell me ahead of time if you're coming. Okay?"

Saki tilted his head slightly, "Hmmm…" Then he met Misao's eyes again, this time, with a big flirty smile across his pretty face. "Okay. I'll visit on your birthday. Let's celebrate it together. Okay?"

Misao sighed in defeat. Not because he found him annoying or bothersome, it's actually the other way around, in the back of his mind he missed him, their friendship. He's really happy to see Saki looked happy and cheerful, just like the Saki he used to know, despite all their hardships and childhood trauma. Misao strongly believes that Saki is a strong person.

"Can I even stop you?" Misao said, shaking his head, a small smirk playing on his thin lips.

"Of course not!" Saki chuckled, and then he patted Misao's shoulder. "So see you soon, Misao." He then glanced at Toshiro who's been watching them all this time. "Sorry Toshiro, I've bothered you both."

"It's totally fine Saki-san." They exchanged smiles.

Saki's attention returned to Misao. He stared at him for a good 5 seconds, his mind filled with questions and worry. "Is he… staying the night?"

Misao was caught off guard with Saki's question. For a second, he wanted to ask Saki what's going on inside his mind but instead he just glanced behind him to look at Toshiro. Just from seeing his beloved's face and the idea of him staying over, his mind was suddenly flooded with thousand different scenarios of them spending the night together, where every single one of it was a night filled with sweetness and warmth. How nice would it be sleeping beside the person he loves, feeling his warmth all through the night, and his sleeping face the first thing he sees when the morning comes.

"If he wants to..." Misao shrugged but the way he looked at him showed clearly what he was in mind.

On the other hand, Toshiro's eyes widen at the sight of Misao hinting about his supressed desire.

checkmate 006 / end