1 Broken pieces Of Dreams

Is it worth it....to survive?

I had asked myself this very same question countless times. But I never got any answer.

And today I got banned from my only escape route, My music.

I looked at the broken pieces of the guitar, it's not just a guitar. It was the pieces of my hopes and dreams which was now scattered on the ground.

Hello, this is Raine DiCaprio. If you ever feel like you are living a life of trash, just take a peek into my life. I assure you, you will feel better after that.

And I'm not joking, because I never joke, I'm not allowed to.

"Take it as a lesson." My maternal uncle, Elliott Jones said to me, after breking my guitar into several uncountable pieces. My Aunt, Maria Milestone was standing silently next to uncle. She didn't utter a word to defend me, she never did.

And as for my brother, John DiCaprio, I had stopped having any expections from him long ago.

And my Mum and dad....

Dad, a money making machine who never cared about anything else, oh he lived in abroad, far away from me. Mum, the only person who took me as a human was long gone, in a car accident.

"This time I just broke this toy of yours" Uncle said pointing at the broken pieces of guitar "But next time if I ever hear you went to the music class, I'll bann you from going to school, mark it in your dumb head"

Dumb head.....

Yes I wasn't exactly the girl with extravagant IQ, I was just an average student.

The only thing I was good at was music... which was now impossible for me.

My family was all about business and money. Things like singing, dancing and painting were kind of sinful act there.

They treated me as a business chip, marry me off to a rich family and expand the business even more. Not that they could force me into any marriage, I was still underage. Four months was left before I would turn eighteen.

I nodded my head at uncle.

"That's better" he said "Now go and get ready for your school."

I went back to my room and wore my school uniform, threw my bag over my shoulder, took the key of my bicycle and off, I was ready to go.

Yeah I didn't comb. Because my long black hair was already tied into ponytail. As for make-up, it's not allowed in my school.

'And yes, I went by bicycle because my rich family didn't consider about car. I was thankful for that.'

As I was taking my bicycle out, uncle once again came to announce his authority "Go straight to school. And after school, come directly to home. No fooling around."

And my brother....he butted in "Do not even think of making any boyfriend, No one is up for any rebellious drama." He then lazily added "Even better if you don't talk to them at all."

There was a time when we used to be like best friends sharing secrets but now... how did we became this distant, brother?

I guess he grew up and became like our family... business minded.

This much warnings, this much precautions... I wanted to cry. But no, I won't– I always reminded myself.

Because I lost everything the moment my guitar was broken, now I was just an aimless and useless robot who were supposed follow all the instructions.

And robots never cry.

I hoped on my bicycle and started to paddle it.

Usually I enjoyed the cold wind blowing next to my skin as I paddled my bicycle, but today my mind was occupied in nothingness.

They say I'm useless.....

I'm dumb...

A waste of oxygen....

Am I though, Mum?

Is it worth it.....to survive? I asked myself this question once again.

I was busy in my thoughts that I barely paid attention to my surroundings.

It was a mistake in my part,

All of sudden another bicycle collided with mine.

And I fall. My knees got painted in colour Red, but I didn't feel pain.

Because I was standing in that point of my life where only thing that ached was my heart.

"Crap, crap, crap!" The one who collided with me started to cuss hysterically. I turned my hazel green eyes toward the direction of the voice.

Neil Astors?

My classmate and everyone's favourite.

The dude had fair skin graced with blue eyes and blonde hair.

He was wearing the same school uniform as mine.

At first he looked confused with the turn of events, but as soon as he got the sight my knees stained with blood, his expression hardened..

"DiCaprio, you okay?" he asked me looking concerned.

Is it alright when your own family never care for your wounds but a random person will show concerns? This hurt...

Oh no!

If anyone from my family will see me with a guy then....?

"I am fine, thank you." I said and hastily picked my bicycle to race away for school.

He might have thought I'm weirdo.... But who cares?

I needed to follow the instructions even if... even if my heart and brain said otherwise.