1 1: Mission Failed Successfuly (edited)

 I've always loved elves. I don't remember when it all started. Was it when I was three years old and my mom took me to the fantasy fair? Or was it when I was ten years old when I started reading light novels? Or was it when I was fifteen and my friends and I were talking about our crushes and potential girlfriends? I don't know. That's when the answer hit me in the face...

People always called me a wasted genius. I was crazily in love with elves that I did every single thing I heard elves do – except magic of course, but cultivation did exist in china. I learned every art and trade on Earth, and by the age of thirty one, I didn't even feel one bit closer to the elves.

I did a plastic surgery to elongate my ears, but the doctors could only do so much. My dad always feared me, even when I was just ten years old. One time, he told me this,

"Why do you love those trash fantasy creatures so much? They're just ink and scribbles made from some weeb's imagination." I remember, I hated him for that.

I went to a river and I fished out a crab. A very big one and I entered the pool with it. Five minutes before my dad entered the pool, I went in and waited.

Revenge was the only thing that filled my mind. When he got in, he removed his boxers and entered the pool, heaving a sigh of relief as the cold water touched his skin.

I swam towards him with the crab in my hand. It was still alive, and its claws were snapping about, trying to hurt me but it couldn't. I had already learned martial arts.

I reached my father and I brought the claw of the crab to his sausage, and the crab chomped on it. My dad's scream was the greatest music I ever heard. Pain, grief, rage, anger, and hatred.

His screams reached the next house, and the neighbors rushed in to see my dad on the floor, naked, with a crab biting his tiny sausage. I came out of the pool grinning with a sense of victory, but to my dad, that was the smile of a monster. 

I wasn't grounded or punished. Everyone feared what I would do if they punished me. As a result, I didn't have friends until I was fifteen, and I joined a gang in my school.

I lived a crazy life. I ended up committing suicide at the age of 32. I lived the last five years of my life as a light novel author. I was a fan of the great reincarnation urban legend – Truck-kun. According to what I heard, 90% of the people he took were weebs, and the rest were normies and the truck doesn't have a driver at all. 

So, at the age of 31, I became a part-time tramp on the streets of London. I searched for this truck all over the city, and I didn't lose hope. Then I found it after 365 days of searching. I found Truck-kun.

A school girl was walking across the road with headphones on her head, ignorant of the truck rushing up to her.

Then I ran, dropping the last piece of pizza in my hands. I wasn't gonna miss my shot at getting reincarnated. I rushed towards the girl and kicked her out of the way. In that split second, I flashed her a smile, and the truck hit me. Now I'm here – floating in eternal darkness.

I guess the gods are discussing my fate since I interrupted someone's reincarnation. I bet the country wouldn't be surprised to hear that Stephen Morgan is dead. "The wasted-genius who is an elf psycho."

Suddenly, the space around me started to twist, and I was sucked in. I found myself in a courthouse. There were many 'men' seated around me and one judge in front of me. Their faces were veiled, but I could tell that they were all mad at me.

"Stephen Morgan from human planet #5691, code name Earth. You have been sentenced to live as a character in your own novel on planet #1020, code name Matriz. Don't think your life will be easy. Carry him away."

Before I knew anything, I was being dragged away by some muscular guards. Even the biggest muscles(mine included) back on Earth couldn't compare to them.

In another moment, I was in a white room. Babies were wailing as they were being carried by some machines into different portals.

My body began to shake in excitement because I was going to be reincarnated as an elf! My childhood dream was just a few steps away.

The guards mistook my shaking for fear. "What a wuss. You should have thought twice before interfering."

I ignored them. My eyes were fixated on the portal that I was being dragged to, then... ~thud~ ~thud~

The guards carrying me fell. I looked around, a little surprised, and I saw a man walking towards me. The first word that came to my mind was "nerd".

He wore big round glasses that seemed to be the window to my soul. His gaze was serious, and his cyan eyes seemed to cage in happiness and slight madness.

"Who are you?" I asked, not flinching or cowering in fear at the sight of this man who was obviously a god.

"Hahaha, you're quite bold for a mere mortal," he laughed.

"I've always been bold."

"This isn't the time for that. I came to give you something to fulfill my reason for living."

"And what is that?"

"I still haven't introduced myself. I am Zerius, the god of reincarnation and systems."

"Wow, cool," I replied, uninterested at the topic. Let me go already!

"When I became a god, I swore an oath to never reincarnate a person without a system. I was against sending you to this planet without a system, but I was one god against thousands. I could probably defeat all of them, but I can't even think of fighting the emperor."

"Just get straight to the point." I snapped, getting impatient.

"Hold out your hand."

 I did as he asked and he manifested a blue orb over his palm and placed it over mine, and it was sucked in by my palm.

"Remember, it'll awaken when the time comes. This advice won't be that helpful since I'll wipe your memories of Archadia.

Suddenly, I felt a headache, and I was kicked into the portal and I left a few words.

"Mission Failed Successfuly." 

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A/N

Damn, that crab bite must have hurt like hell