Lyze's Feelings

Lyze woke up a few hours later and the first thing he noticed was that somewhere he'd lost his blindfolds, or perhaps someone had taken them off of him. Regardless, his memories were a blur at the moment which took priority. Trying to remember the last thing he'd been doing before falling unconscious at any point, the last battle he'd fought fell on him like an ocean.

He remembered how he'd escaped the cenote by using his Goddess form and flapping his powerful wings in a particular way in which he'd created his own maelstrom, opening up a flitting airspace he'd used to take off. The last thing he remembered was breaking the water surface and drinking in the air like it was the fountain of life. And that was where everything went dark.

Focusing on getting some life back in his limbs, he quickly realized why his back felt so numb. He was still in his Goddess form and he'd been laying on top of his wings. The low light levels outside the tent he found himself in suggested it was evening right now, so everybody was asleep. The second thing he noticed was how he could feel the covers of his sheets brush against his bare skin. His entire upper body was completely bare but he could feel that he was wearing a new set of pants.

Maybe Riveria had changed his wet clothes. If that was the case, then he supposed he was okay with it, just as long as Aki had nothing to do with it. As he tried to get up, he felt a pair of arms reach around from behind him and wrap around his torso. Then a face dug itself into his back and the person pulled him down using their body weight. A quick scan with his nose brought Ais's scent to him and he clutched at her hands.

"Ais? What are you doing in my bed?"

Ais didn't respond, instead opting to tighten her arms around him and dig her face into his back. He could feel her body shaking a little bit, the erratic shaking of someone trying not to cry.

"Ais?" He asked, very concerned right now all of a sudden. "Are you okay?"

"Riveria asked me to watch over you." Came her strained, muffled voice. "I'm supposed to be here when you wake up."

"Ais?" Lyze's projected his concern in his voice. "Why are you crying? What's wrong?"

"...You nearly died." Came a pained gasp from her. "You nearly died again!"

He wrestled himself out of her grip and turned to look at her. Shadows and darkness didn't matter to him with the sight of Chaos, and so he could see tear stains on her face which shocked him greatly. Ais never showed extreme emotion ever. Crying was the last thing you'd think she'd do.

"What did they tell you?" Lyze asked her as he cupped her face. "Talk to me Ais, tell me what's making you upset."

"Th-they said a monster dragged you underwater when you k-killed the monster rex." Ais slightly sobbed. "Finn said he couldn't save you and you had to fight your way out."

"I did." Lyze said. "And that's the important thing Ais, isn't it? I'm alive aren't I?"

"It doesn't make it okay!" Ais exclaimed, her doll face completely breaking.

Lyze was forcefully reminded that this was not her older counterpart. She was still a child, and to her, she had lost her parents little more than a year ago as far as she could comprehend. So her emotions and her grief were still very much raw. She placed a hand on his chest, right on the nasty scar above his heart where Excalibur had pierced him years ago.

"You're always almost dying!" Ais cried. "And it's always because you're saving me or bad people and unfair monsters attack you. I've seen you get hurt so many times Lyze, and I've seen so much of your blood. How do you keep fighting?" She cuddled him closer. "How many times will I keep almost losing you?"

"...These are just trials Ais." He put his arms around her and patted her head comfortingly. "This is the life of an adventurer. We will never move forwards if we don't suffer pain or we don't face risks."

"But why does it have to be so dangerous?" Ais asked. "Aren't you scared? How can you be so brave all the time?...I wish I was as brave and strong like you."

"Ais." Lyze said gently. "What is bravery? What does it mean to you?"

"It means not being scared of anything. Right?"

"No Ais." Lyze shook his head. "Being scared is half of being brave. It means being scared and standing up to your fears. Of course I'm scared Ais. I'm always scared."

Ais stopped shaking and looked up at him. "YOU...are scared? How?"

"I'm scared of failing Ais. I'm scared of dying along the way in my journey. I'm scared that perhaps I might lose myself, and I'm scared that I'll go mad. Ais, these powers, as much as I love them, they also cause me great pain at all times. Pain like you can't imagine. And I'm scared, always ALWAYS scared..." Lyze dragged his fingers over her cheek "...that I will lose the ones I care about. Our lives are full of dangers, of both monsters in the dungeons and monsters in human skin. I would rather I be the one to face all these deathly situations than have you in them Ais."

"But you made a promise." Ais grabbed his hands. "You promised we'd find our moms together. You promised we'd become stronger together. Please Lyze, please stay alive." Ais placed her face in his and and closed her eyes for a moment. They opened again, this time full of tears. "You are my HERO Lyze. I need you. I'm scared of losing you too. Promise me you won't leave me Lyze. Please..."

Lyze stared at her, as an old turmoil began to violently brew in his chest once more. The weight of his heart beginning to burden his shoulders again as he tried to figure out what these feelings were in his heart.

What was it about this girl?!

What was it about her that her vulnerabilities cut him so deep? Why did her tears and her pain burn him so? Why did he grow weak before her and why did he acquiesce to her pleas so easily? It was almost like men who...

...like men who...

.

.

.

"I swear Ais, upon my life, the blessing on my back, the powers that I wield, and the love I hold for my mother, that I will never abandon you Ais." Lyze hugged her close and covered her with his wings, completely enveloping her. "I will always be with you, and I will stay alive. You will never be alone ever again. And we WILL find our parents...I promise."

"Remember...you promised." Ais said into his shoulder as she basked in the warmth of his embrace. She then lifted her head momentarily. "Lyze, why do you have wings? And why is your hair white?"

"I'll tell you in the morning." Lyze pushed her head back down. "We don't want Riveria hearing us and coming in here now do we?"

"No." Ais said, before she pursed her lips and planted them on his cheek.

Lyze spluttered and flushed deeply. 

"Ais, what did we say about kissing?"

"You said not to do it on the lips. But Aki said that when boys we like are sick, we give them a kiss on the cheek to make them feel better."

"Oh for the love of...That mangy moggy! When I see her next I'm going to...(sigh), never mind. Go to sleep now. Finn probably has an earful to give me tomorrow, and I want to be as awake as possible for it."

"Sure. Goodnight." Ais snuggled into him again. "Remember, you made a promise."

"Yes, of course Ais. Goodnight." He smiled. 

Soon enough, the girl went to sleep and only when her breathing became rhythmic and peaceful did his smile drop and he went back into his mind, now contemplating the realization that had befallen him.

...

...it was just like men who had fallen in love...

'I'm in love with Ais Wallenstein...I'm going to hell...'

---

Freya stared at the two through her mirror. A small pout rested on her lips and Ottar beside her fixed his goddess with a questioning look.

"What is it that displeases you so my Lady?"

"I want to be cuddled by those wings too." Freya's pout deepened. "I had no idea that my Odr had such a beautiful form. If I knew beforehand, I would have demanded that he give me some cuddle time with his wings."

Ottar's eyes narrowed and he shook his head little. Though he smiled a bit on the side of his face the Freya couldn't see.

'You have changed my Lady. Not by much but I can say you are much happier.' He thought.

"I'm sure he would gladly offer you the same experience if you simply asked." The Boaz continued.

"I suppose so." Freya said. "He would be like that. Regardless, I'll be making sure to ask him when he returns." The goddess then looked at Ais through the mirror and focused on her intently. "So, the Sword Princess huh? Her soul shines a beautiful gold colour, but it pales in comparison to my Odr. His radiance consumes all around him. But nevertheless, it would seem I have my first sister-wife in waiting....a better choice than others around him, that's for sure."

"She is a child." Ottar said bluntly.

"She will not remain so for long. But as the first wife, I must see to it that she becomes fit and worthy in all womanly ways to carry children for Lyze when she is of age."

"He has not even fully accepted the status of your Odr."

"Oh he has, in his heart. It's just a matter of time before it comes off his tongue."

Ottar sighed. "He would probably call you a cougar for speaking as you are now. Perhaps something worse, if he were to hear of this."

"Then make sure he doesn't!" Freya fixed him with a stare.

"Yes, my Lady."

"Good. Now I have yet to even personally meet her, I know that. But there is plenty of time to sort it all out. My Odr is currently a man in a child's body and as such he has his desires and his feelings all mixed up. But once I've managed to straighten all that out, then we can move on to making more happiness. Because joy breeds love and love breeds children. I am a goddess of Fertility as much as I am of Love. It's my job to make sure these things happen Ottar. Do not forget the goddess you swore yourself to...my son."

"NEVER, mother. I have never forgotten, nor will I ever forget. I aim only to make sure that you find what is best for you."

"And for that, you have my eternal gratitude Ottar." Freya smiled at him lovingly before her face took on a frown. "Now, you said you had something for me."

"Yes Lady Freya. From our informants in the entertainment district, it would seem that the Ishtar Familia is stirring. Their captain has gone mad with rage and a bloodlust for revenge. Not even Ishtar is able to leash her now. Phryne gathers her Familia through fear or coercion for the sake of vengeance against Lyzof Keele. It's clear she plans to enter the dungeon and perhaps ambush him."

"Madness." Freya muttered. "That bloated toad knows she is up against the Loki Familia. What chance would she have? But then again, vengeance is a motivator for all sorts of mad missions." Freya stared off into the distance. "I know that feeling very well."

"...Lady Freya?" Ottar asked, feeling confused as it appeared his goddess was alluding to something. Freya turned around to face him.

"Oh, did I never tell you Ottar? I was certain I'd read my stories to you as you grew up."

"Never that one."

"Well then, I'll give tell you the story." Freya swung her leg over the other as she relayed the tale to her child. 

"I was a very young goddess, the equivalent of a little human girl, when a very powerful god stumbled upon me while I was sleeping. So young was I that he was the first living thing I'd met ever." Freya waved her hand in the air for emphasis. "So powerful was he, and so mighty his Arcanum, that he merely needed to speak of something and it would come into being. If you were to imagine my power as a candle-flame, his would probably be the sun. That's how powerful he was. 

I befriended him, played with him, grew to love him. Learned from him many things. And in time, he came to see me as a sort of adopted child. But the thing was, I was just a passing moment in his life. He liked to travel and he loved wandering the vast expanse of heaven. So when he assumed I was ready to be left alone again, he took off.

Soon after that, the Nine Realms of our pantheon fully formed. I was greatly admired and desired by many. I was also amongst the most powerful for my many Domains. And thus many came to grow jealous of me, and they sought to undermine me and label me a threat and a menace...namely Odin. To relieve myself of that suffering and to protect myself against harm, I gave up something I had kept only for my Odr."

Freya paused for a moment as her eyes hardened. It didn't take Ottar long to figure out what she had given up and his fists tightened in anger. The scar on his face darkened in that fury. But for the sake of the woman he saw as his mother, he kept silent. Freya continued.

"I swore revenge. But by myself I had no way of doing anything. And then Loki, a child goddess herself at the time, discovered one of her numerous hobbies. Pranks. I have told you the story about Ragnarök and Surtr the giant, correct? Well, it just so happened that Loki set him upon the dwelling place of that powerful god who had raised me. He belonged to another pantheon.

To say he was furious would be an understatement of eternity. In my vengeful state, I guilt tripped him for not being there for me and convinced him that all the realms had to pay for Loki's wrongdoing. And so with a single word from him, all Nine Realms were swimming in fire and water and devastation the likes of which had never been seen befell the homes of our pantheon. And I encouraged him to keep that curse going for time you cannot even comprehend Ottar.

Of course, now I see it was wrong. But it goes to show you that madness, anger and revenge can make you do the most horrid things."

"I see." Ottar said. "What was the name of that god who punished the Realms in your favour?"

"Oh, don't worry about that Ottar. I do wonder what he's doing now. Probably sleeping if I'm being honest. He became really lazy in the days we were apart. If he ever comes down to the mortal realm, I suppose I'd want good relations with him and his Familia. After all, even if he wasn't there for me when I needed him...he still loved me as he had always done." Freya shook her head. "But enough of that. Keep an eye on Ishtar's children. My Odr will probably be tired and weakened from this expedition when they return and I will not risk any chances to his safety. Inform our Familia to be on standby. If Phryne enters the Dungeon, take her out."

"As you wish." Ottar bowed and left the room. 

Leaving Freya to contemplate the sight of her Odr, and how much his hidden power reminded her so much of Lord Ptah...

Lyze would never be as lazy though. That wouldn't happen in a thousand lifetimes.

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