1 A limitless wish is but...

A limitless wish is but an illusion. There. I said it. Now you might say "Alex, the clue is in the sentence, 'limitless'. It's a chance to unlimitedly power. What do you mean it's an illusion?!!"

Yeah unlimited. BUT...is it all encompassing? Do you really think omnipotence is so simple? It's is a concept meant to be beyond our feeble capacities for comprehension. How then could we comprehend it in such a simple, primitive way?

........

Alexander Wilson was my name. And the first word that came to anyone's mind when they pictured me (myself included), was 'confusing'. Why?

I was the guy who would rescue the old lady's cat from a tree, but then admonish her for not giving it to someone who had the energy to make sure that the stupid thing doesn't do something like that again.

I was the guy that would give a beggar a penny but threaten him that if he put it to waste, I'd skin him alive.

I was the guy that would complement a girls looks, but then follow up with how much of a shameful deceit it was if she used too much make up or if she failed hide something.

I was the guy that if I got praised for good work in class, I'd berate the teacher for spending time praising me when they should be using it make sure someone else did as good as I did.

Safe to say I was a confusing character, even to myself, and I didn't have many friends.

I always saw the downsides of all aspects of life but I did try to indulge myself in the joyous moments as much as possible. Though I would quickly become bored afterwards. What was the point of all these emotions and fulfilling moments if it all came to end one day? Some would say that is exactly why we should make the most of everything. And I agree! Isn't that confusing?

One thing I most definitely loathed was the simple insignificance of my being. What was I in the grand picture of the omniverse? A quark was millions of times bigger than me in comparison. And I said omniverse even then because you say why? I say WHY NOT?

Humans really are such amusing creatures. Questioning me on how could be certain of such a thing when I had no knowledge of it existing when those idiots were so certain of it not existing when THEY had no knowledge of it being so. See what I'm dealing with here?

The fact is we don't know. We don't know anything. And we will never know everything. You my dear reader, might think that from my approach to this topic means that I wish to obtain that knowledge. But I don't. And I never will because I understand the futility. And I understand that if that were to happen, all the enjoyment of existence would fade.

"But you just said that you don't find enjoyment of in existence!"

Yeah but you see how I am now? Just one confused nerd.

There is one thing I absolutely loved doing. Or rather two things which I never did tire of doing. Reading transmigration and reincarnation orientated fanfictions on webnovel, wattpad, fanfiction.net and all the others. Then I'd go to bed and imagine myself in the MC's place and thinking what I would do in their place. I'd lament about how their choices lacked and how they did not take advantage of the moments properly. But then again, some may say the same about me when my turn came. I suppose it is what the person is satisfied with I guess. To each their own.

Now I am an avid believer in God. And I mean GOD. Not those wannabes you find in fictions. To me, Azathoth is still comprehensible and depictable even though he is an Outer God. To me, God existed above even that. The fact we could even name the omniverse was proof enough that God was higher than that. Some don't follow my logic right now but to put it simply, I admired God because of his authority, his power his designs. I would look upon his works and stare at the beauty, intricacies and the wonder of it all. But at the same moment I wondered how it would look flames.

Yeah I am unstable, but at the same time I am aware of it which also makes me stable? Because unstable people shouldn't be aware they are so right?

I don't know.

I knew I wanted power. Overwhelming but not all encompassing. I wanted to break free from the chains of mortal flesh, and transcend the boring reality of my life in a crappy Luton semi detached house.

So that fateful night, I plopped my grotesque, overweight nerd body in bed and closed my eyes. I reached deep into my heart and soul and prayed the most sincere I had ever done.

"Oh Lord

You who govern that which makes sense and that which does not. You whom I worship and admire. You that sit above all that think they are like you. You created me mortal but you gave me intellect and understanding.

YOU gave me a POWER. Out of that which will never decrease you, please, GIVE ME MORE!"

How much did my reverence increase when I woke up in a cliché white void.