221 No Going Back

- RORY -

I wake up with a small gasp, not realizing that I drifted off to sleep. No nightmares terrorized me this time, but I didn't meet the dream version of Luciano either.

The darkness is the first thing I see, and it feels like the warmth of him has just left. The bed is empty next to me, but somehow I know he was here. Like a blanket that has slipped off to leave me exposed without it. 

I swallow and slowly push myself up, willing myself not to allow the panic encroaching on the edges of my mind to get any closer. I'm not alone. He's here somewhere. But I also can't bring myself to call out for him either. 

I may have decided for the first time in my life to rely on someone else for the safety I have only ever found deep inside of myself, but I'm not about to go crying out in the dark like a child so that he'll come back to me. I'm not that person. I can't be that person.