71 I'm Stopping

I'm not going to be writing any more Catlyn Ollivander stories. I'll still post what I was planning on doing for the rest of the series, but I'm just not going to be writing them. I have many reasons why I'm stopping, but for those of you who don't care you can stop reading now.

I've always had a little voice in my head punishing me for doing anything other than writing. Recently, like before the Hiatus, two more voices joined in. One added to the pressure by telling me not to miss my deadlines and that I couldn't let down my readers. The other was bashing continuing to write Catlyn Ollivander, telling me I need to focus on the story I want to start my career on. This is unhealthy and is just making me want to write less in general. I love writing, and the fact that I've been dreading the thing I want to do for the rest of my life killed me. I don't think that Catlyn Ollivander was a waste of time. I just realized that I can't work on both my novel and it at the same time.

Due to deadlines. I've had to make sacrifices in the quality of chapters so that it wouldn't take me months to post a single chapter. I want to be proud of the writing I do, and at the moment I'm not. I know later in life I will need to deal with deadlines for getting drafts out and all of that for novels, but that's why I'm taking my time building this novel before I send it to a publisher.

I'm graduating from high school. If I've said things before contradicting this, that's because I was a lot worse about being myself (even on the internet) in the past. I'm graduating, and that's caused some fears and anxiety about where I am as a writer and how I'm going to be able to support myself in the future. I tried balancing both this story and my novel, but that hasn't worked. The anxiety I've had about getting chapters out has overpowered working on my novel so I never really get anything done on it. I'm going to leave it with that because any more and it'll just sound like excuses.