Wacky
(A.N: Hi, this is my second novel, My first novel was Terror & Joy Marvel/DC which I haven't dropped but just set to the side as the idea was good but a little much for a first attempt I'll probably rewrite it. This time around I'll be going with less serious. I've been procasnating over this I started writing this since July and keep forgetting about it. I'm hoping when there an audience to please I'll be pressured to write. Enjoy)
In Queens, a mirror-like crack appeared in an alley between a pizzeria and a pawn shop. From the crack, a laugh resounded as a cloth-like dark-skinned man slipped out with a white-gloved grey furry arm holding it before swinging it comically and throwing it at an open trash can.
*Swoosh Crash*
The cloth-like human turned into a normal 3D human with the pain waking him up.
'"Argh fuck my head. *Sniff* what is that smell?! A bin again, who needs enemies when you have drunk friends" Said the man as he scooched himself out of the trash can
This man was Solomon Taylor 23 years old standing at 5.7, with brown skin a bit of belly fat, and short curly black hair. An average guy worked as a bartender in his local pub, with no real ambition.
Stretching his pain-ridden body and brushing off some of the trash before examining his surroundings.
"Okay, where am I, huh?!" He stepped out of the alley only to feel a sense of dread and shock overcome him.
Surrounded by the familiar skyscrapers a horrific realisation left him stunned. He quickly searched his pockets but found nothing, no wallet or phone.
"Think, think Sol, think. How did I get from Gloucester to America? I don't have the money and neither do my friends. Enemies, nah I don't have any...."
As he continued to mull over his situation an old newspaper flew into his face. Prying it off he glances at the paper and sees the headline "Billionaire playboy Tony Stark seen leaving the Crown Plazer with Miss Univers Riyo Mori" thinking it was just an old advertisement for Ironman but then he sees "Sell your Oscorp stock before it's too late!" and "The outbreak that is mutants"
"Nope not real, yes definitely not real how could I be in the Marvel universe and it's the one with mutants. Absolute not possible yes ain't no fucking way I'm in Marvel"
*HONk!!* An ear-bursting clown honk went off in his head before a holographic text was displayed in front of him.
"Welcome to the Marvel world, yay Lucky you!!"
"Nope, I refuse to believe it"
"Graced by the goofy and wonderful cartoon gods you have been given the cartoon gacha system to enjoy the world that is Marvel"
"No thank you, If you can just point me to the door that leads back to my world that would be great"
"No can do, quick try your luck with the lottery"
"Fuck you!"
"You should try your luck"
"Why?!"
"Just do it, nothing will change even if you cry"
"Wait what about my identity and my wallet?"
"Nope you don't have one here"
"Was I not transmigrated?"
"Nah transmigration has paperwork and that's boring. This was a very fun and wacky kidnapping, yay!"
"Shitty unreliable Gods. So what am I supposed to do about housing?"
"Try your luck it might help"
Turning around he kicked the trash can over as he took a moment to calm himself down.
"System, introduce yourself"
[Host can randomly generate three rewards by mentally commanding it to do so. The host also has a Status screen to see what you currently have]
"Status"
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
[Status]
[Host: Solomon Taylor]
[Abilities: Empty]
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
"Is that it, what about stats?"
[Cartoon Gods do not believe in the blasphemy that is math & science]
"Got it, numbers are a no-go. Sigh let's try the loot box B.S"
*Drud duh duh bling ting ding DONG!*
[Bugs Bunny: Home Hole]
[Carmen Sandiego: Thief Arts]
[Samuri Jack: S1 Knowledge]
[Buggs Bunny Home Hole: Create a rabbit hole on any floor/ground to a fully self-sustaining Home]
[Carmen Sandiego Thief Arts: Skill includes pickpocketing, stealth entry/exit, sleight of hand, and identifying the price of items]
"I don't know much about Carmen but is that the Netflix thief?"
[Carmen Sandiego is a show about a girl who was essentially the vanilla version of Black Widow but instead of a trained killer, she's a thief. The similarities include childhood trauma from being built to be an Agent/thief who eventually escaped the organization]
"Hmm, they are similar but like how good of a thief are we talking?"
[She is equal to that of Catwoman]
[Samuri Jack S1 Knowledge: Have all of the samurai Jacks knowledge from season 1]
"Can you compare Jack's physique to Captain America?"
[Jack does not have super strength but he does have superior stamina and slightly above human reflexes and dynamic vision. This is shown when he continuously fought the Scotsman for an entire day and when he fought wars on his own. For reflexes and dynamic vision, he's shown to be able to cut and dodge oncoming bullets"
"If I follow all the training that Samurai Jack had will I gain both of those abilities right?"
[Yes]
"Okay tell me how this works"
[Host can mentally command to attain the skill]
'Acquire'
Instantly his head started feeling heavy as he suddenly lost his balance before leaning against the wall for support. Samurai Jack's life from S1 is etched into every wrinkle in his brain. Then what felt like electricity passed through his body as it reforged his lack of useful muscle memory with the Thief skill. For the Home Hole, it was just some basic info like the hole can only close when no one is inside and can expand to the size of a garage door to put items in. The entrance hole will lead to the same spot every time.
"Urgh that's a lot of shit to go through"
"That's pretty good. Now let's take a look at my new home" Tapping his right foot a man-sized hole opened just in front.
The hole looked bottomless with no light being able to perceive the sides. He cautiously stuck his hand only to see it vanish as if it was a portal. He panicked and pulled his hand out then sighed after seeing his hand still connected with no visible damage. Standing up he took a deep breath and jumped in.
*Thud*
Landing on his feet he glanced around. He appeared in the corner of a dirt-like room with an entrance hole right above him. Apart from a warm light coming from a lightbulb hanging from the ceiling, there was nothing not even a bed.
"Umm, where is the home portion, all I'm seeing is a hole?"
[I've confirmed that it is indeed called Home Hole]
"Please explain to me how this is a home. Where's the bed, kitchen, and bathroom?!"
[Host is encouraged to install items himself. For any plumbing and electrical appliances just stick the pipe or wire into the dirt and then it will work as intended. To make rooms or make the space bigger just dig into the wall and ground with a picture of what you want and it will change to match your imagination]
"That's all good and all but how am I supposed to have any of that without money... Don't answer I think I know, steal right?"
[Yes]
He rolled his eyes before asking "System how do I get another chance for the lottery?"
[The host is encouraged to figure that out himself]
"Of course, it makes perfect sense to hide how to use the main feature"
Leaving the hole which then closed up at a simple thought. He took a minute to think over his options before starting his day with a light walk around Queens while waiting for the morning rush. He didn't need to wait long as the streets and sidewalk quickly turned into a battle. A nimble figure moved through the crowds like a ghost.
Now wearing a grey cap with numerous American Express cards in hand he quickly made his way to the grocery store. Stocking up on a month of food before finding an alley and dropping it all in another hole that appeared at his command, with food sorted he went on to get furniture. Before picking up furniture he took a trip to Home Depot where he bought some tools and waited in the carpark for his ride.
(A.N: For argument's sake all the cards were contactless. Also its before Iron Man movie but this is marvel a floating car prototype and energy weapons existed during WW1)
Eventually, a conspicuous white van parked up with a scruffy drunk man driving. Passing by giving Samuel a distasteful side eye. Samuel then confidently walked up to the van with his tools and made short work of the lock. Jumping into the driver's seat he reached under the steering wheel to begin hot-wiring but just as he exposed the wires he heard a thump and groan behind him.
He almost gave himself whiplash with how fast his head turned around. "Shit!" He blurted out as he looked at five young women tied up with their mouths gagged and "help" spelt out in their eyes.
'The one van I hijack just happens to be a kidnapping van. Hopefully, it's just kidnapping and not some big villain plan' With that thought he quickly hot-wired the van and drove off.
Eventually, he found a quiet place with very little movement and parked up. He got out of the van and opened the hole, retrieved some snacks from his grocery bags then closed the hole again. He opened the back doors of the van and spoke softly "I'm gonna release you guys, here's something to eat before you go"
The five women looked at him blankly as tears ran down their face
He removed the binding of all the women and let them eat their fill.
They repeatedly said "thank you" while crying.
While they ate he stepped out and found a phone booth where he then called the police before making his timely escape. Shortly after leaving the van was surrounded by a squad of cop cars.
Solomon had once again found a van that belonged to another drunk Luckily no captives in the back this time. He drove the van to a Walmart where he bought dishes, utensils, a microwave, kettle, pots, and pans. He then stopped by a hardware store and bought a bunch of building materials. Stopping at multiple shops for electronics, watches, clothes, and shoes.
Replacing the van with a Porsche 911 and changing into a luxury suit with a flashy watch to match before booking himself a suite. He quickly cleared the room for surveillance before quickly opening the home hole under the furniture. After 5 hours dropping stuff into the hole then dragging it around he manage to build a cave that had some semblance to home.