Mournings Here

Carmilla woke to the morning chorus of bird song and knew she was dreaming. she was floating in the air, tall tree branches swayed above her but no noise was registered. strong sunlight streamed through the leaves and bathed her in it until she felt part of the sunbeam herself. a floating orb of light.

A white door had appeared seemingly out of the blue, rode in on the winds she could not feel. 'or perhaps it had always been there' she thought 'but is only now making itself known'.

The door was in the air as she was, but did not seem to be hovering, just standing perfectly still as if it had been anchored in that spot. where the handle should be stood a shining star, almost too blinding to look at, it sprayed rainbows onto the white surface of the door, the colours as bright as jewels. Carmilla was tantalised by the gleaming steadiness, and felt herself move towards it. The closer she got the taller the door became and the brighter the star. new ideas sprung to mind, it was now a sprite blocking her path, guarding the floating door. She was reluctant to touch it, to go through the door and fall, 'but you can't fall, its just a dream' her thoughts whispered to her in that detached way that only happens in dreams. as if you're truly speaking to yourself. spurred by new confidence she reached for the light in front of the door and felt something solid. Turning it with such gripping force that she felt a twinging pain from the muscles in her wrist. The door clicked as the lock retreated back, she began to push it open. There was little time to imagine what was behind the door, heaven or hell, mount Olympus or pans grotto.

The door needed little effort once the lock had been lifted and now before the girl was a small room with grey wood panelled flooring. A gold frame hung off the wall with a blurred painting cropped tightly in the middle of it. there was nothing else that she could see from the comfort of the doorway but curiosity got the better and she left the warm ray of light and allowed herself to become a solid being once more. the door closed and behind was a descending staircase. It was a cold transition from the room of light. but there was no other option than down, and Carmilla was half certain the white door would have disappeared from behind her by now. Blown off into someone else's dream.

She descended only to find a small landing with two doors. Instead of deciding she chose to continue round the corner and down another identical staircase, to stand on another small landing. Faced with three doors this time, all immaculately white, but no shining orbs in front of them. Carmilla guessed the aim was to keep going down until she found another glowing orb, now convinced they were will o'wisps guiding her to the right path. What ever that was. She glided down to another landing with no doors this time. worried that she was wrong took pause for a moment, until she noticed that at the bottom of these stairs, was a light. The wood floors had changed to a rough sandy type; the soft rattle of cupboards being opened and pans bubbling could be heard. Carmilla glided down once more and took in the surroundings of the final room.

It was an open floor planning, a living room to the left and a kitchen on the right. The living room was minimalist with muted colours. upon the off coloured sofa was a man. He was pale with milky brown hair-the colour of hot chocolate- it came down to his shoulders and may have been longer if it wasn't stylishly waved. He had a long slim nose and deep set eyes. Grey in colour. The man seemed to be muted in colour himself, and though he was seated it only emphasised how tall and long limbed he was. Dark brows knotted and cupids lips pursed, he stared at Carmilla.

The Kitchen was large but cluttered. Copper pots sat upon a black ancient modernised stove. dried flowers and herbs dressed every possible surface and stools with stressed leather cushions, circled around a bright wooden slab table in the centre. The personfication of the area stood behind the slab. She was pale as well but with cast iron black hair strung up in such a way, that made her look taller than she was. dark eyes and Russian red pouted lips now gaped at Carmilla as well. She dripped with heavy gold jewellery that shone out against the all black outfit.

In the hallway between these two beings and their domains was Carmilla. Across from her was another hallway. 'The next door way' she thought and walked towards it. Through the door frame was a small red figure walking towards her. Coming to greet her for the next part of the dream. Maybe she'd finally be able to enjoy it rather than just going through the motions. But the closer it got the more she felt how uncomfortable the creature made her. It was covered in rust almost. bits flaking off as it moved. Facial features were indecipherable against the ruddiness and it legs were a dirtied black, spattering starkly against the red. Carmilla paused and clenched her teeth, unsure that she wanted to meet the creature anymore. To walk through and leave the others behind. The creature stared wide eyed waiting for a decision. She tucked her fingers into her palms and so did the creature, she opened her mouth to speak and it did the same. She paused with her mouth agape to let it talk first. It remained as silent as her.

A sense of dread travelled up Carmillas body. She physically reacted to it, as did the creature. when it reached her stomach she was confronted with a pain she had felt before. A pain she had felt last night. The memories and fear exploded in her mind and when she opened her mouth to scream, she could feel the cracking around her mouth while watching the dried blood and vomit flaking off in her reflection, in what she now accepted as a mirror. Her whole body was covered in Black Forest soil with a brownish crust. The smell made her want be sick all over again; but her throat was occupied by a grating scream.

It was true. It had happened. Her family abandoned her, wolves tried tried murder her and a woman slit her own throat in front of her son. Carmilla knew the some of the blood on her face was from the woman. She witnessed her knees buckle before she felt them. Horrified at the person before her but unable to look away. Remembering the woman she began to claw at her face and chest, wanting to remove the very skin that the blood had touched. Thrashing around as if stuck in a nightmare, replaying the image of her own mother snarling at her made Carmilla throw her head back in order to smash the memory out of it.

Claude was amazed at the scene before him. After all his years, it was very rare for something to freeze him on the spot. Carmilla's appearance was that. It wasn't just the way she looked, it was how she moved. she glided like a ghost. Neither he or Sabine had heard footsteps on the stairs or the door being opened. He saw her feet first. Black from the dirt and the only reason he could tell she was actually walking on the ground. leaving tracks down the house. Her face was tranquil, her eyes curious. The only thing he could compare it too was Lucy in that theatrical and fetishised retelling of Dracula. The Girl that is unaware she is dead. The Bloofer Lady.

It was the piercing scream that unfroze him. It began as a gravelled moan but quickly escalated, he knew it was a funeral cry; A kind of grief only women can vocalise. The girl had begun to hysterically shout "NO!" and started to have another fit. She fell to her knees and tried to smack her head against the floor. Claude moved just in time. He pulled her into the living room so she could no longer look at her reflection. Sabine finally snapped out it and was already covering the mirror with a curtain. Claude held onto the girl by her matted hair; still trying to throw her head back but was also now clawing at her face. He could see through dirtied fingers that she was no longer taking in the surroundings. Just re-living the night over and over. The terror was infectious. Sabine now held the girls hands and was murmuring comforting words. But she couldn't hear over her own screams. It seemed never ending.

"Claude you must help her!"

Sabine shouted at him, it was clear the girls pain had started to afflict her.

"her physical wounds are healed, there is nothing we can do about her mental state"

"No I'm not talking about what we can do, this is something only you can Claude"

It took a second longer than usual for Claude to understand. The Screaming was distracting. his eyes widened.

"You mean turn it off"

"No!" Sabine quickly responded "Not all of them, she's too young. Oh but there is so much pain...please Claude just..."

Claude was too impatient to wait for Sabine to find the right words.

"Just What!" he shouted

"Just mute them! Don't let them go away but make the reaction well...Smaller than this!"

Claude thought he would refuse for moment, but then Sabine released one of The girls hands and he grabbed it instinctually. With that he felt new waves of sadness and pain crash over him, she was literally sweating it out. unable to bear a small part, much less all of it. Claude made his decision. Grabbing the back of her head he pulled her face towards his, until they were inches apart.

"look at me" he said calmly.

She was looking in his face but was still lost to her own memories.

"Look At Me!" he said again, this time with more authority. Her eyes finally left the distance and focused on his.

"Stop screaming child".

The screaming stopped but she did not become silent. Spitting out mewings or whimpers behind quivering lips.

Claude knew he had her focus now, all he had to do was choose the words he would now say.

"Your memories of last night are faded. Your feelings are dampened. You know it happened, but it feels like a incident from years ago. You have dealt with the grief of that night and now feel only a slight discomfort when thinking of it".

With each sentence Carmilla changed. She stopped fighting and became still. The whimpers left and her expression steadied. Her eyes bored into Claudes.

"You can still smile and laugh, you are able to find happiness. For now your emotions towards this incident have been tucked away, until you are more equipped to deal with them. You will sleep until tonight, when you wake you will come down the stairs again and everything shall be explained. You will remain stoic towards any information about your past and will do as I say regarding your future.

As her eyes began to shut he quickly added in.

"And your reflection will not scare you anymore".

With that last sentiment she went limp, he swept her up and handed her off to Sabine who was unusually impressed.

"Ah the perks of being a long-term member of immortality" she jested.

Claude sighed, exasperated,

"Please go wash her. My part's done now. I'll leave it up to you for planning what to say tonight...and perhaps what not to say".