1 Chapter 1: Pancakes

It was a Saturday, and for once Joey was miserable. He could be spending the way mindlessly driving around the Midwestern hell that is Michigan with his friends, but instead, his parents pleasantly reminded him that it was that time of the year. While this weekend wasn't a holiday, it had the emotional weight and stress of one. Minus the fun.

His parents reminded him it was time to visit his grandfather on his mother's side, where he would have to listen to his sadistic ramblings for an hour. These ramblings weren't political, fortunately, but in many ways, they were so much worse.

His grandfather has always had the first belief that Canada, of all places, is a real place that exists right above Michigan. He might as well be admitting that Atlantis is real, or that the North Pole is Santa's hometown. What's worse is that his Grandfather had him fully convinced as a small child that Canada was a real place. He tried to indoctrinate him into his mad cult of personality, and Joey resented him to this day for it.

Luckily, Joey learned about science. About reason. How could Santa deliver trillions of gifts in one night? How can God be real when there are so many logical inconsistencies in the Bible, and we've never witnessed any true miracles in real life? And how can Canada exist when the only thing up North is endless forests and trees? Luckily, Joey quickly learned about the truth after getting the facts from his teachers, peers, and The New York Times.

Saturday morning was a blur. His parents entered his room with a sympathetic, knowing smile, and Joey instantly knew something was awry.

"I'll do chores! I'll mow the lawn! Please, can I for once just stay home?!"

His mother responded with a sweet but dry smile, "oh stop, your grandpa loves you very much and we're some of the only people he has left to talk to. you know how lonely he gets!"

Joey responded snidely: "Yeah and maybe if he'd stop going off about Canada he'd still have friends."

Joey's mother quickly gave him a death stare, and Joey instantly knew he overstepped. Joey's mother has always been protective of her father, and wasn't afraid to let Joey know if he overstepped his boundaries. Though, for a brief second, he could've sworn his mother's gaze faltered for just a second.

The car ride to their grandfathers was long and confusing. His mother would often take specific back roads. Joey has always asked why they couldn't just take a state route, but his mother would tell him this was "an old family secret route", which was supposedly faster. Joey had tried to understand where they were going using both a GPS and a map, and both times he would get lost in the back roads. At this point Joey wasn't even sure if there was a way to take state routes to reach his grandfather's.

Joey had almost dozed off when they finally arrived to his grandfather's house. If it weren't for the long driveway off of the road accompanied by a dense forest of trees, the house would be impossible to miss. The house was a 100-year-old house painted a bright, almost fluorescent yellow. Several plastic moose scattered the uncut grass. But what stood out the most was the sheer amount of "Canadian flags" adorning the estate. On a single flag pole there were three Canadian flags, not to mention two from the porch, as well as a plastic, life-sized state of Jesus with a Canadian flag draped over as part of the robe. The Canadian maple leaf had also been stenciled multiple times on the side of the house, alongside Canadian flags hung from the window.

"Can I stay in the car? I can sleep in the trunk" Joey pleaded.

"Joey. Enough."

Joey begrudgingly got out of the car. Just looking at everything was as much as a fever dream as he had remembered it. The only thing Joey liked about visiting his grandfather's was the smell. The air was thick with the smell of maple syrup.

Joey and his mother walked up the dirt path, and the smell of maple syrup grew thicker. As they reached the front door, Joey's heart started racing. He was reminded of how stressful talking to his grandfather was. His grandfather clearly had high expectations for him, as he talked as though he was about to take on the world. Meanwhile, Joey could barely take on incoming adulthood.

The door swung open, and there stood is grandfather. His eyes were wide open, and a crazed grin was plastered on his face.

"Hello everyone. Welcome! Hello! Welcome to by humble abode! I was just making buttermilk pancakes!"

Joey rolled his eyes. His grandfather would always follow Canadian "culture", or whatever culture he though this made up place had. Maple syrup? Check. Pancakes? Check. Joey was pretty sure this was the third year in a row he had made pancakes.

"Grandpa it's almost noon, it's too late for pancakes."

"Oh quiet you!" his grandfather responded lightly.

His mother gave him a condescending glare. Joey pretended not to notice.

"It's still technically morning, the clock hasn't truck twelve yet. Now if you'll excuse me, I need to pour the maple syrup on the pancakes."

Joey's grandfather took out an comically oversized jug of maple syrup, with a large, red, maple lead printed on the front. On the counter were what felt like dozens of pancakes. They were actually quite beautiful, and if Joey didn't hate his grandfather with a passion, and might have complimented them.

His grandfather unscrewed the lid, and carefully poured the syrup on top of the first stack. Soon after, his grandfather gasped: "Oh my God."

His mother's eyes widened, and his grandfather dropped the jug of maple syrup onto the ground, spilling it onto the wooden floor.

Joey looked as the mess confused, until his heart suddenly stopped. The syrup. It was moving. It flowed into a small river, and quickly moved down the carpet, as though it were a living creature. Joey followed the stream with his eyes, as it flowed past the kitchen, and out the door they had just walked in to.

His grandfather put his hand on Joey's shoulder, and Joey jumped. His grandfather's eyes were somehow even wider than before.

"Joey", his grandfather said in a deliberate, deep tone, "it's time for you to learn where you came from."