ch 84 Everybody Hurts... Sometimes
In an endless space of endless darkness, Marshall Witcherly opened his eyes and looked around.
Though he is fully conscious, he can't see anything. Though he can sense his hands and feet, he can't move a muscle. He only see darkness. No sound can be heard by his ears and no words came out from his mouth.
Other people might be scared by such an experience, but Marshall wasn't. This is actually his 12th time waking up in this void of darkness.
He just stands there and lets out a deep sigh, waiting for what's to come.
A ray of light shine down in front of him. Under the light, a young boy, possibly three years of age, can be seen standing with his back towards Marshall.
Two figures appeared beside the boy, a woman, and a man. They each held the boy's hands and started walking forward.
Marshall felt a tug deep in his gut, seeing the three figures walking side by side.
Even though he no longer remembered their faces and their names, Marshall was sure that he was seeing his former young self and family in his previous life.
A moment later, the man let go of the boy's hand and walked alone into the darkness and disappeared. The woman and the kid paused for a second, but eventually continued walking forward.
Even to this day, Marshall still doesn't know how to feel about his father, who abandoned him and his mom.
He was still young at that time. His mom was too busy working and providing for the both of them. Marshall vaguely remembered that he wanted to ask what happened?… Where did his father go?… But seeing his mother so stressed during those time, his former kid self just kept quiet until he had forgotten those questions.
While still walking forward, the kid gradually grew a bit. Two figures then appeared behind the kid and the woman. They are obviously his grandparents from his mother's side.
The woman eventually let go of the kid's hand and walked in a different direction. Unlike the man who disappeared in the void, the woman can still be seen far away.
The old couple continued to accompany the kid who grew up into his teens….
Taking a deep breath, Marshall felt a storm of emotions remembering the time when his mom started working abroad, and he was left in the care of his grandparents.
In the country where Marshall's original self grew up, a kid being left in the care of their relatives while the parents work abroad is not something new. One could even say that it is a common family dynamic in the nation. So common that it can jokingly be categorized as a cliché.
Marshal even remembered being classmates with kids in the same circumstance as him.
Actually, Marshall was one of the lucky ones. His mom had a stable job abroad and was able to provide and support her son and parents. Others were not so lucky. Some even ended in tragedy.
Marshall's family was not considered 'rich'. But he grew up well taken cared for, and in terms of material things and financial support, he was not lacking.
For a while, Marshall's old self accepted his life and family setup. He was grateful for what he had and overlooked what's missing. He was content.
Everything was fine until his grandfather, who was a chain smoker, got diagnosed with lung cancer when Marshall's old self was around 12 years old. After 2 years of fighting the illness, his grandfather passed away when he was fourteen.
The lost devastated Marshall and his grandmother back then. Her grandmother's health started to wane after that. The old lady persisted until a year before Marshall's old self finished college.
During this period, Marshall's mother, the sole breadwinner of the family, had no choice but to continue to work abroad.
She could have returned to take care of her family but… What would happen to them when she returns? The reality that she can't earn the same amount she is earning abroad in her own home country was a bitter fact.
With her son's expenses, her father's cancer treatment, and mother's health condition, money was a factor that couldn't be considered.
Marshall recalled the time when his mother apologized to him over Skype, and his former teen self gave a forced smile and comforted his mom and reassured her that he was fine.
His old self had to step up at that time, taking care of his grandparents and their house, on top of being a student. After school, he needed to return home directly, missing out on times he could have spent with his friends.
Over time, he became somewhat introverted and an unintentional loner. With the different forms of entertainment provided by the internet, it was so easy to hole one's self at home.
Around the time after his grandfather passed, Marshall's mom met someone and started to live together and eventually got married and had kids.
Marshall never met his mom's new family in person. But they do communicate through Skype.
When Marshall's grandmother passed away, his mom invited him to live abroad with her new family, but Marshall's old self felt he didn't want to be a burden to them.
Besides… at that time, he was already an adult and was about to graduate from college. It was time for him to be independent.
Amidst the period that he found himself alone, Marshall's old self discovered a new sense of freedom. His old self tried to be more outgoing and be more social.
He even gathered the courage to enter singing contests, since he was a Music major. Sadly, Marshall's old self doesn't have that star factor regarding looks and talent.
Eventually, he gave up on pursuing a career in music and opted for an office job.
In the new work environment, Marshall did plan to form relationships… friends and possibly find a girlfriend.
But… As a former introvert and loner, he had a hard time fitting in with his new coworkers, who were part of the outgoing Millennial and Gen-Z generation.
He came across to everyone as a socially awkward guy that's so obviously trying to fit in.
To his co-workers' credit, they never exclude or bully him. It was just that Marshall's former self was so awkward.
Marshall remembered every activity that he tried for the first time following his coworkers like sports, eating out to the trendiest restaurants and traveling to different places. Such activities were not in his former self's means, both financially and physically.
Eventually, the scene in front of Marshall showed his former self stiffly walking across the road in front of massive trucks.
A speeding motorcycle came out between the truck, pushing Marshall's former self, who couldn't react in time, into the ongoing traffic and colliding against the front of a rushing ambulance, ending his life….
The void brightens up with a flash of light and Marshall saw the familiar ceiling of his dorm room in Hogwarts. He wiped his hand over his face to remove the sweat and tried to calm himself.
After a deep sigh, Marshall softly mumbled to himself, "Happy Birthday, Marshall."
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April 4, 1992, 6:20 am Saturday Great Hall
-Third-person POV-
Harry, Ron, and the other Weasleys came down early for breakfast so that they can greet Marshall on his birthday.
Though they didn't see the birthday boy in the hall, they just brushed it as Marshall taking his time or maybe his fellow Hufflepuffs kept him busy with greetings.
Some time passed, students kept coming for breakfast. Susan, Ernie and the other Puffs entered the hall and sat on their table preparing to order food.
Marshall was not with them.
Puzzled, Harry and Ron walked over to the Hufflepuff table.
"Guys, where is Marshall?" asked Harry.
The sudden question surprised the Puffs. Wayne answered, "Huh? Today is Saturday, so he's probably exploring somewhere, … or maybe working in his greenhouse."
"He already left before any of us were up." added Justin.
Adeline asked the two Gryffindor, "Why, You need him for something?"
Ron and Harry look at each other with perplexed expression.
After hesitating for a second, Ron explained, "Uhm… Today's his birthday…"
The eyes of the Puffs almost popped out due to shock. They look at each other, and obviously none of them knew.
While they were dumbfounded, other students kept pouring in the hall.
Tracy, Daphne, and Millicent enter along with Draco and the other Slytherins. Terry's group of Ravenclaw, followed by Hermione and the other Gryffindors also came down for breakfast.
They noticed Harry, Ron, and the Puffs talking to each other and some eventually asked what's going on.
When they learned that today is Marshall's Birthday, and that he is missing, they looked troubled.
Their group of first years huddled together discussing something, caught everyone's attention.
Eventually, the news that today was Marshall's Birthday spread like wildfire.
Some older students who barely know Marshall were in a mood for celebration, but the first years, the Weasleys, Cedric, Cho and others who are acquainted with him were troubled by Witcherly's absence.
🎵…🎶…🎵…🎶…🎵…🎶
Amidst the tense atmosphere, a subtle strumming of an acoustic guitar could be heard coming from somewhere.
Then a voice could be heard…
When your day is long
And the night, the night is yours alone…
Everyone in the Hall recognized the voice. It was Marshall.
Hermione frowned and asked what's everyone who is listening was thinking, "Why is the song… so sad?"
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5:40 am, Hogwarts Castle Grounds
-Marshall's POV-
Earlier....
After waking up from the annual reminder of how my past self had lived, I decided to take an early run to clear my mind.
Instead of running on my treadmill, I decided to get some fresh air and jogged around the castle.
While running, I kept analyzing what the whole purpose of my vision was. What I really found weird was that it only showed the shitty parts of my past life.
Though I can't remember the faces, names, places of my old life, the memories are pretty much still intact.
There are plenty of fun and happy times that I remember. Those memories gave a bit of color to my otherwise gray life.
Yes, I agree that, as a whole, my past life was far from ideal. But that old life of mine can't be called tragic. I really don't understand why I keep being reminded when my birthday comes around about all the bad stuff.
"Haa.. ha.. huu.." After running for a while, I breathe heavily. I'm not tired because of my run, but because of the frustration I keep feeling every year on my birthday.
Absent-mindedly, I found myself standing at the lake edge and facing the water of the Black Lake.
The surrounding space distorted, and my body was engulfed in white flame. I teleported myself to the dock in the boathouse.
Taking out my wand, I closed my eyes and concentrated. I'm searching for any happy memories from my past and present life.
When I concentrate on a 'happy' memory, with the corresponding wand movement, I yelled, "Expecto Patronum!"
A shapeless wave of silver mist appeared from the tip of my wand.
Seeing that no Patronus or spirit animal came out, I just let out a deep sigh, "Haaa... Still nothing?!"
"Com'on! My previous life was not that bad. I never even cried once through all the f*ck up stuff that happened growing up!!!" I yelled to the sky, voicing my frustration, making me breathe heavily.
"Huuf..huuf...huff..." Trying to calm down, I then repeated what I just yelled out, " I… never cried back then?"
Remembering when my father walked out on us, I noticed that my mother became so busy and stressed out that the young me just clammed up, not wanting to burden her with my issues.
When my mom left me in my grandparent's care to work abroad, I just accepted their arrangement without voicing my protest. I was even the one who kept comforting my mom wherever we talk through Skype.
Due to my grandparent's advance age, I felt I can't stress them out when they're the ones taking care of me, so I rarely complain and try to be on my best behavior.
Whenever I feel sad, I keep myself distracted by spending time on my computer playing games, reading novels, watching videos, and listening to music.
I just realized that I unintentionally became numb. I'm aware of my feelings but avoid expressing and acting upon them.
Suddenly, I thought about my past discussion with Nana when she advised against me learning Occlumency, the part regarding emotional control. If I wanted to take control of my emotions, experience is the key.
Though I learned how to control my emotions in my new life, I never properly dealt with the experiences and issues I had from my previous one. How can I? I died before I was able to address them.
'So... what do I do now?' I asked myself. Tai Chi? No. That only applies to when I'm calming myself. How do I bring out my emotions from my past life?
While looking at the calm waters of the Black Lake, an idea came to me. Immersion.
Sitting down by the edge of the dock, I took out my acoustic guitar and was about to start strumming. But then I noticed the golden bracelet peaking out of the sleeve of my tracksuit.
After hesitating, I decided to remove it. I felt that I have to remove my restriction for what I'm about to do.
Without my bracelet, I feel less constricted and my connection to everything around me became clearer.
Closing my eyes and taking a few deep breaths, I internalize and reflect on my feelings back in my past life.
I allowed myself to remember the vision I always get during my birthday.
As the scenes of the vision appeared in my head, I plucked the first cord and started to sing…
🎵...🎶...🎵...🎶...🎵
When your day is long
And the night, the night is yours alone
When you're sure you've had enough
Of this life, well hang on...
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-Third-person POV-
Within several kilometers around where Marshall was singing…
The vibration of his guitar strings was carried by the wind far and wide for every living being to hear.
Unconsciously, Marshall activated his Phoenix Lament and empowered his voice to touch the soul of those who could hear him and understand the lyrics of the song.
🎵…🎶…🎵…🎶…🎵
Don't let yourself go
'Cause everybody cries
Everybody hurts sometimes
Inside his mindscape, all his pet beasts, the unicorn heard and Jolly, felt the sadness of Marshall.
Concerned, they huddled together and discussed what to do. Reza, who shares the same soul power that Marshall have, reassured everyone that their master was fine and explained to them that Marshall needed to vent out what he is feeling right now.
After understanding what's going on, they still want to come out of the mindscape and be with their master.
It was fine for Naji, Tania and Bunta as they are known pets of their master, same for Jolly. It's a bit complicated for Grace, Gavel, Reza, Long and Uno to come out.
Then, the four contracted beast got a brilliant idea. One by one, they transform into their original forms: a white horse, a ram, a gray heron and a dark blue goldfish that is inside a floating orb of water.
Tania landed on Uno's head and turned the foal invisible. The unicorn herd decided to stay behind.
They then wait for Marshall's song to end.
🎵...🎶...🎵...🎶...🎵
Sometimes everything is wrong
Now it's time to sing along...
In the lake,
The Giant Squid quietly appeared on the surface of the water and one of its eyes focused on Marshall who is fully immersed in his song with tears running down his face.
Not far, the merpeople also took a peek but didn't dare approached Marshall, who is being guarded by the lake guardian.
In the castle, the faculty and students ran out of the Great Hall and came to the viaduct courtyard. They scrambled to find a spot to take a peek at Marshall at the boathouse.
Marshal's friends and the teachers plan to go down to the boathouse and see what's going on. But they were stopped on their track by more than a hundred of the castle's house elves that appeared and position themselves in the staircase leading to the boathouse.
Dumbledore teleported inside the boathouse from his office with the assistance of Fawkes.
He was surprised to see the four House Ghosts of Hogwarts are already there looking at Marshall, who is singing outside.
Other than the four ghosts, Wigby and seven of the oldest house elves in the castle are also there.
The ghosts and the elves gave a sidelong glance at Dumbledore. Obviously, they were there to stand guard for Marshall.
Dumbledore even noticed the fingers of the elves who are already poised to snap at any provocation. He decided to just wait still for Marshall to finish the song.
🎵...🎶...🎵...🎶...🎵
'Well, everybody hurts sometimes
Everybody cries
Everybody hurts, sometimes
The four ghost, as well as the ghosts in the castle, felt something within them reverberate with every word Marshall sang.
In the forest, all the dark creatures was disturbed by the song and reacted by fleeing away from the source.
In contrast, the centaurs and other magical creatures and beast with docile nature made their way toward the edge of the lake.
All the owls in the owlery took flight and circled the sky.
In Hogsmeade, the residents were woken up by Marshall's song and when they looked at Hogwarts, they saw the scene of the owls hovering around in circled.
The view of the castle during sunrise, accompanied by the heartfelt song, gave everyone a sense of melancholy.
🎵…🎶…🎵…🎶…🎵
And everybody hurts sometimes
So hold on, hold on
Hold on, hold on, hold on
Hold on, hold on, hold on
Everybody hurts
🎵…🎶…🎵…🎶…🎵
As the song ended, a long silence fell on the scene.
~end chapter ~
Featured song:
"Everybody Hurts" by R.E.M.