Life's Hard, But Not Impossible

/Usual Warning. This is my first FanFic, so expect problems with grammar, Pacing, character personality, and more. Enjoy!\ My guys, Grammarly sucks dick, so I realized Grammarly isn't always right when it comes to decent-sounding sentences, so far I've been using it to correct and fix grammar, but god damn does it get annoying when it tries to tell you something wrong when what they suggest just makes the thing they're trying to fix even worse. Hope you enjoy.\

Close To Midnight, Same Day

  I continued to watch him with far more cation than needed, keeping keen notice of his calm but rising mana stores, its yellow hue becoming more oppressive the longer I withheld my answer.

 With slow and coordinated actions, I nodded, indicating that I would listen, and at this, he smiled. "Well, at least you're not dumb."

 Fear was powerful but not enough to hold back my quick temper. "And what's that supposed to mean!?"

 At my outburst, the stupid Old Man laughed, his chuckling ringed throughout the container, yet burned out as soon as it hit the blitzing winds outside. It wasn't long before his laughs turned to sighs as he turned away from me and to the many trees outside, each passing blur painting a flash picture describing nothing in particular.

 After a second of him doing nothing, I slowly turned away, joining him as he stared at the flashing trees. That's when he spoke. 

 "There's more you know."

 Glancing at him, my eyes narrowed. "What do you mean?"

 He didn't give the same curtsy, instead, keeping his eyes forward. "Exactly what I said."

 With a frown, I scoffed and turned away. "I know what you said, idiot; I want to know what it means."

 For a fourth time now, he laughed. "Quite the mouth you got there."

 I returned his joyful response with another one of my signature scoffs. "Quite playing around, and tell me what you meant in the first part, you bastard." My temper was rising rapidly, and along with it was the molten feeling corrupting my shoulder in bloody red.

 Before my temper could rise any further, he relented. "Ok-ok, just keep that foul-smelling mana away from me." He said with no sense of tact.

 Uncaring of his discomfort, I continued. "So what does it mean," I said, hints of anger neatly threaded between each word.

 Unfortunately, being the creepy old bastard he was, he didn't seem to care or notice.

 "When did you discover your mana?" He said abruptly.

Clicking my teeth, I answered. "A few months ago... I think."

 "Is that so?" He chimed.

His simple quip pissed me off for some reason.

 "Ya, and what's the point in asking anyway?" I said with more heat than necessary.

 "No reason, in particular, just confirming a few things." He said while rubbing his chin, seemingly in thought.

 After a few more seconds, he looked to think of something before continuing to speak. "Anyway, when I said 'there's more,' I meant there were more people like us."

 It took me a second to understand what he was talking about, but when I did, I couldn't stop my eyes from widening. "You mean..."

 He grinned, "Indeed, there are more people out there just like you and me, and I've even had the pleasure of meeting a few of them; peculiar folks they were."

At this point, I had stopped listening to him, too enthralled by what he said. There were more? More people, just like her? People who had access to the vast potential of mana? More, Rats trying to scavenge and cling to their pathetic lives.

 "What?" I accidentally voiced out in confusion.

 Before I could ponder that last thought, the man broke away from his prattling and shifted to a more serious tone. "Anyway, getting back on topic, the people I met so far all seemed decent, but I've seen more brutal people with access to it as well, and as you could imagine, I didn't give them a greeting." 

 "Brutal?" I questioned.

 At this, he hummed in confirmation before continuing. "Yep, brutal, as in do what I say or face the consequences; that kind of brutal."

 Seeing the obvious danger in this yet wondering why he would even tell me, I kept silent, contemplating what to do with said information. And I would have plenty of time to do this, as he stood up and turned to leave, myself doing nothing to stop him.

 Just as he was about to leave through the container door, he paused and spoke over his shoulder. "By the way, the names Chuck or Charles if the first doesn't suit your fancy."

 With his final piece said, he left through the door, breaking the minor illusion he put up when speaking to me, in turn revealing the sleeping forms of Katjaa, Duck, and Ben; Kenny and Lee opting to stay in the cock pit for mechanical purposes required for the train to continue moving.

 Letting my eyes linger on the door for a second, I sighed, "Chuck... Not a bad name, I guess."

 Turning back to the everchanging visage of the dimly lit outside, I watched the sun slowly rise into the air, a bit miffed I hadn't found anything on how to reverse the day cycle break I accidentally placed on both myself and Lee, as any normal person would be seeing the sun setting instead of rising.

 I clicked my teeth, "Exciting." 

 With that said, I went back to thinking, pondering on both the knowledge Chuck so kindly donated and that oddly hateful thought that overwhelmed my senses earlier, both problems I'd like to figure out sooner rather than later.

 So I sat there still as a statue, undisturbed by the biting winds gliding off the train's outer shell, and I'd remain like that until morning, or night in my case, only being disrupted by Lee's soft touch.

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 Planet Zero

 Dark and blurred emerald eyes watched with uninterest as Clem sat and faced the eternally broken clock she had the unfortunate fate of breaking, forever casting her and her adjacent person in a sky of lies, time itself forgetting their presence.

 It was a problem I also encountered when I first started using mana, and while it's annoying to deal with, eventually, she'll realize the true potential of such a skill; its pros vastly outweigh its cons.

 But for now, she is inexperienced and in desperate need of a proper tutor; however, that last part is too far out of my range to interfere with, so I could only hope she's able to reconnect with the sage she created, as he should already have the basics of mana embedded into his subconscious.

 Closing his eyes, everything in the room became dark and decrepit, and the screen he was watching Clementine with fell into nothingness. When he opened them again, his eyes had grown duller, less refined, and more rigid. Now the once-smooth circles that had been the outline of his eyes bore a resemblance to steep mountains, with sharp spike-shaped protrusions poking out, and almost like waves, one could watch as the spikes receded before coming back up, seemingly bobbing in water.

 He sighed, "It won't be long now."

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 Unknown Place

 Eerie red eyes watched his favorite little general as she spoke to the useless insect. However, he couldn't say it was completely worthless as it had managed to draw out the gift he had previously given the little general, which was always a sight to behold.

 He chuckled disturbingly before reaching out to the mana-made screen, caressing the flat form of Clementine's face. "My dazzling little general; Ohh, how I can't wait to see what becomes of you." His caressing was starting to crack the mana construct. "Even so, Whatever you become will always end with you here, sitting in my nurturing arms, patiently waiting as I adjust your body to make it more fitting for my favorite commander... IT WILL BE MAGNIFICENT!!!"

 His attachment had grown beyond just that; it had become an obsession.

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 Year 3392 October 24

 It had been a bit since Lee pulled me out of my overthinking trance, as I had kept forcing myself to overthink the information Chuck had given me; along with that were insane ideas sprouting from the hateful and, quite frankly, inhuman thoughts I was starting to notice more of.

 Looking back on it, there had been numerous times I had similar thoughts, but I usually tied that to my anger, which while still fully possible, I couldn't help the strange feeling that something else was at play here, just something I couldn't understand or see.

 She remained oblivious to the quiet swish of emerald mana reacting to her suspicions.

 Before that train of thought could go any further, a sickening cough echoed throughout the train cart everyone was occupying, said cough turned the heads of Lee, Ben, and myself respectfully; Chuck remained stoic and continued to face the outside, which I would think is brightly lit up thanks to the sun's rays, yet unfortunately for both me and Lee, it's pitch black.

 I watched as Katjaa ushered Lee over, wanting him to clean off the surprisingly bright red blood and get Kenny to stop the train. Barley noticing Lee leave, my eyes stayed glued to Duck's dying form, fascinated and slightly excited to see it happen.

 And, while I did notice the growing patch of red on my shoulder, I ignored it, too ensnared with the thought of watching the boy's life drain like an hourglass, running on a few measly specks of sand.

 However, before I could dive too deep, a firm and almost burning hand laid itself on my shoulder, causing me severe pain and quelling my red mana, forcing it back into the multi-colored pool it came from.

 Doing my damnedest, I forced down my screams of agony, not wanting to suddenly burst out screaming, as there was no hand on my shoulder I could blame; its yellow structure already faded into nothing.

 With hate, I ripped my eyes from Duck and to the ragged figure of Chuck, his eyes also glued to me. Our eyes met, and a silent battle of dominance ensued and although only lasting a few seconds, it showed the vast difference in both power and control, with him completely dominating.

 After a few more seconds of suffocation, his hold over his oppressive mana fell away, letting me greedily take in as much oxygen as humanly possible, and, for my part, I couldn't get enough.

 Imagining all the ways I could mutilate him, I scoffed and turned away, still having some trouble with breathing.

 Eventually, the train slowed before stopping, and with it came Kenny and Lee. Lee looked uncomfortable and sad yet still bore his stern aura; Kenny, on the other hand, looked like he was about to fall apart, his face speaking volumes of that.

 After a minute or two, it was decided that Lee was going to be the one to do the deed, which he undoubtedly agreed to, as it was in his nature to help regardless of background, personality, or reason, that's not too say he has no flaws, but it's enough.

 I hadn't realized thinking of Lee had calmed me down from the unbridled rage I had been in a moment ago, but Chuck did, and he was sure to point that out after the other four left.

 "You know, for a hot head, you seem pretty fond of that Lee character." He spoke with a voice full of playful mocking, "Does he know?" He added on.

 For my answer, I was half-tempted to curse him out and tell him to fuck off, but even I could tell that would be unwarranted, plus Bens still here. 

 "One, Keep your fucking voice down," I said while throwing a thumb over my shoulder, its direction pointing at Ben's slightly nervous form, "Two, he's saved my life multiple times now; he's taken care of me since this whole thing started, and three, he knows everything about me, Including the mana parts. So, ya, you could say I'm fond of him."

 This got a whistle in response, "So, what you're saying is he's your dad."

 My face was slightly heated at this. "Stupid, crazy old man! What are you on about?! BAkA!."

 He chuckled, "Well, it's safe to say you didn't get his temper, maybe your mom's?" 

 My face went alight.

 Raising my fist, I swung in embarrassment. But to no one's surprise, mainly mine, he blocked my mana-infused fist with little effort, showing that practice does indeed make perfect, regardless, I still kept swinging while throwing every slur I knew at him, only ever getting the punches blocked and laughter in response.

 The playful scene was interrupted by not one but two loud bangs ringing out from the distant forest, each one driving flocks of birds from the trees they were quietly resting on.

 Looking to the forest and then looking back to Chuck. I sighed. "She couldn't take it."

 He joined me in that sigh, "Ya, let's hope she can find some peace in the afterlife, though given the one she left behind, I'd say that peace is going to wait a while."

 At his mention of the one she left behind, my mind went to Kenny. I looked back to the forest before speaking again. "He's going to be miserable; hell, he might even follow Katjaa's lead." A hideous pain bolted through me at the thought.

 Pulling a hand up to my chest, I griped the spot it hurt the most, trying to understand why it hurt so much, but not once did I come close to its reason.

 It wasn't long before Lee and Kenny walked out of the forest and into view with two noticeable things missing.

 We all stayed quiet as we got on the train again, no one questioning the absence of Katjaa. Not long after, we were on the move again, heading to the very city where my biological parent disappeared too, most likely dead. Yet, despite this, I held no feelings for them. So I couldn't care less. 

 I chuckled to nothing in particular. 

 It's funny, not long before this apocalypse started, I would have killed to catch a glimpse of them, but now, it's like any love I held for them had been turned to ash; however, I wouldn't complain, as a superior replacement had found me.

 I chuckled again. They were useless anyway. Always doubting and doing stupid things to entertain me, they were like monkeys I told to jump through hoops.

 Emerald had started to overtake my butterfly scar, bringing it to life.

 "Like, honestly, what was the point in keeping them around? After all, they were just pathetic bags of flesh." I didn't bother stopping the chaotic chuckles as I went on to berate and belittle my probable dead parents.

 This went on for a bit, with me constantly laughing like a psychopath, but it was eventually put to an end by Lee, who had managed to sneak up on me while I thought things a child shouldn't even begin to comprehend.

 With a light tap, I nearly fell out of the cart door, my feet already dangling. For a very brief second I was pissed and ready to rip apart whoever made me jump like that, but, when I felt who it was, the anger faded, being replaced by embarrassment for getting snuck up on, especially when the one who snuck up on me was the one person I knew like the back of my hand.

 "Hey, Clem, what's with the manic laughter?"

The mention of my laughter had me gaping. "You... heard that?"

 When he gave a nod, my entire being went alight; not a single atom was left untouched by the heat of embarrassment.

 Doing my best to cover both my eyes and ears, I could only try ignoring the laughter that sparked from Lee, his amusement plain to see.

 Yet, despite this plight, I couldn't help but let out a few giggles myself, as even I could imagine what my face must've looked like. Soon, our laughter had ceased, and we sat in silence, watching trees flash by, and the slivered moon blur in and out of sight, its form being hidden by the trees. 

 It's at times like this that I couldn't help but wonder why I'd want this to change because despite day break fucking up the cycle of day and night for use two specifically, it could be seen as a promise; that we'd never be apart, that no matter what happens we'll be there for one another, through the high and lows; of course after this little moment of ours, I'll go back to hating it, so, might as well enjoy it.

 The silence stretched until Lee broke it, his words calm and clear.

"What do you think of getting a haircut?"

 His words, though calm, always had a way of throwing one through a loop, and that is a hill I'll gladly die on.

 When I eventually realized what he said, he already had a pair of scissors in hand, snipping away at the air in a taunting manner, telling me the decision wasn't up to me and he was just asking to be polite. 

 Holding both hands up in surrender, I could only say something I'd hoped had the same effect his words tend to have. "Please be gentle."

 It seemed to work as I could see the absolute horror lining his face, and I could hear the quiet muttering of 'My life's over' and 'damn you, Carley, even in death, you found a way to corrupt Clem.'

 I snickered at the last one, as he had hit the nail on its head.

 One mental breakdown later, Lee sat behind me, quietly snipping away at any strand of hair he found too long. In between this, I found the reason for this abrupt haircut, and I couldn't help but curse the stupid bastard, even if his logic was sound.

 Even so, I bared with it, only ever complaining when Lee did a little more pulling than he did cutting. But, in the end, I found the final cut kind of cute, even if it still looked like tar.

 Pulling some hair clips out of my pocket, I held them out for Lee to take because if I was going to look like I came out of some shady barber shop, then I'd at the very least want some style, even if that style was rainbows and unicorns.

 He didn't even try refuting my want as he neatly set the little hair I had remaining in a light ponytail before sliding my hat over it, leaving said ponytail to poke out from the gap left in the hat for adjustable purposes. 

 After he was done, he turned my head every which way, trying to observe his work on his very unwilling test subject. After the third turn, I pulled away, reluctant to nauseate myself for his study.

 Moving back to my original spot on the train cart's edge, it wasn't long before Lee joined me, his ever-wisened eyes bleeding into nothing, becoming something more akin to a child's wondrous curiosity and all.

 "You know, Clem, despite the power you hold and the seemingly infinite knowledge you have access to, you do a damn good job at showing what a child could and should be."

 A bit odd, but I let him continue, as I could tell he had more to say.

 I watched him sigh as if to prepare himself for what he was about to say. "How do you feel about guns?"

 Once again, another odd question, but I answered anyway. "They're neat, I guess."

 His gaze, although still tense, had loosened a bit. 

 "Good... Do you want to learn how to shoot one?" he asked without tact.

 For myself, my answer was immediate as I had already tried pestering Lilly about it in the past but was met with rejection every time, so now, given the opportunity to do so, there wasn't a chance in hell I was going to say no.

 So, impatiently, I got up from my spot on the edge and walked back some, waiting for Lee to join me, which he did a few gruelingly long seconds later. 

 Watching him set up bottles for my targets had me somewhat giddy with excitement, as I couldn't wait to see if shooting a gun was really that adrenaline-pumping, so I was hoping for the best.

 Not a second later, Lee had set up five targets, each a glass bottle he found lying around. With great restraint, I managed not to completely rip the small handgun from his hands, instead letting him lay it in mine, but after that, I had free reign.

 Disregarding Lee's attempts to tell me how dangerous this was, I flicked the gun up and unloaded a shot or two at the bottles, unsurprisingly hitting nothing but the wall behind them. 

 However, the shot of ecstasy from shooting it was off the charts, so much so, I wanted to let lose every bullet in the thing; but, before I could, it was snatched from my hands by a disapproving Lee, his gaze full of reprimand and disappointment, and this obviously obliterated any and all joy the shots previously provided.

 Knowing what to do, I lowered my head in shame. "Sorry."

He sighed before kneeling. "It's fine, Clem, but guns aren't toys, and you shouldn't treat them like one." After that, he held the gun out, waiting for me to take it. When I grabbed it, his slacked grip tightened, and his gaze turned to stone. "Guns are not toys."

 I repeated. "Guns are not toys."

 With one last glare, he let go of the gun, feeling he had gotten his message across.

 Or that's what I thought, as I had nearly broken down in tears over it. The thought of his cold glare sent shivers down my spine

 This time, I let Lee guide my hand instead of doing it myself. Over a second or two, Lee adjusted my stance while holding it, tilting my head slightly to give me better visibility of what I was shooting, shifting my shoulder a bit more down to help keep the gun stable, and correcting my aim after I shot; in the end, I had shot three out of the five targets, the other two breaking from the shrapnel the other three created.

 After which, I didn't bother hiding my joy at what I had just accomplished, already jumping around in joy while bragging to Lee about how good my shot was, to which he simply smiled and sang me more praise.

 "Great job, sweetpea; I'm proud of you." He said with a smile I hoped would be the only memory untouched by the foreign ones. 

 After soaking in some more praise, Lee sat me down, pulled out a map, and placed it between us. 

 "We should talk about Savannah and what we're going to do when we get there because, for all we know, the walkers could have overrun the place."

 I hummed in response. "Aren't we going to find a boat when we get to Savannah?"

 He chuckled, "That's just it; for all we know, every boat in Savannah could be gone or at least wrecked, so we should come up with a plan B just in case that turns out to be true; you can never be too underprepared." He said with a light grin.

 With a grin of my own, I nodded. "Right!"

 For the next thirty minutes, we did nothing but that, bouncing odd and even downright crazy plans off each other until, eventually, we were interrupted by Kenny, his panicked shouts telling everyone to hold on.

 Lee did so, and since he knew me well, he pulled me closer, probably knowing I'd much rather jump out of the moving train than follow basic safety rules.

 Luckily for him, and unluckily for me, the train stopped before I could, to which I could only click my teeth in disappointment.

 Not one for waits, I pulled myself from Lee's arms and hopped down from the train cart, wanting to see what was so important that we had to stop. Lee was soon to follow.

 Before either of us could even make it to the front of the train, the problem and reason for our sudden stop became known in the form of another train, one of its carts dangling off the side of the bridge it was perched on. 

 Said cart was conveniently dangling in the one path we were on, and not only that, but it looked to be one that carried fuel. Don't ask how I know that; just know I do.

 Not long after we made it to the front, Kenny and Chuck joined us, Kenny Cursing up a storm while Chuck kept to his calm and calculative gaze. Not long after those two, Ben joined as well, trying to make a suggestion.

 "Maybe we could walk?"

 It may have only been me and Kenny who thought this, but Kenny put it better.

 "That's fucking stupid, Ben."

It's safe to say Ben didn't make any more suggestions after that.

 Chuck was the next to pipe up, saying a few words that could've been considered motivational.

 "Well, I don't know about y'all, but this problem seems solvable, almost easy honestly."

 Even then, Kenny highlighted what was in the hanging cart. "That's not milk, Charles; it's full of gas or diesel. Stuff that likes to explode." He said with spite.

 For a brief second, I saw Chuck's calm expression change to anger, and had he not calmed himself, I might've had to think of stepping in, even if it was basically putting a novice against a pro and expecting the novice to win.

 Instead, he settled for a sigh before speaking again. "You need to get a hold of yourself. This is a crew here, and a single bad decision could lead to its downfall."

 With even more hate than before, I watched Kenny get into Chuck's face. 

"This ain't shit." He said with a voice that promised pain if he refuted.

 "This-"Chuck was cut off by new voices, to which everyone, minus Me and him, looked toward. 

 Having already sensed them coming, I tried to initiate eye contact with Chuck; knowing him, he had also already seen them coming, so his gaze was still locked on Kenny, and because of that, I was able to steal it, starting a conversation that could only be heard and seen by us or anyone whos able to see through mana illusions.

 Tuning out the shouting between the two groups, I spoke to Chuck. "Try to go easy on him; he's just grieving."

 Sighing again he nodded. "Fine, but I won't follow any of his stupid decisions until he gets his shit in cheek because I don't know about you, but I prefer being alive more than I do a pile of gore sitting on the side of the road."

 Wanting to lighten the mood a bit, I made a joke out of it. "But weren't you just that before we came along?"

 And it worked! Kind of, as he was only grinning. "Kid, that joke was so bad it was actually kinda funny."

 A bit embarrassed but happy to lighten the mood, I rubbed the back of my head in shame, an almost forced smile painting my face. "Thanks, I guess."

 Almost immediately after I said this, he burst out in laughter, earning him my confused attention. Between laughing and clutching his sides, he all but yelled, having no control over his volume. 

 "You know-" He continued laughing, "I thought you-" And so on, "Were just an angry kid-" It was getting old and very annoying to see him laugh while I stayed confused, "But now-" I'll kill him, "I know you're just a bipolar maniac!" His laughter increased tenfold.

 All but proving him right, I burst out in anger. "I'M NOT BIPOLAR! BAKA!!"

 He was closing in on the point of pissing himself.

 And so, for the next minute, I raved and screamed slurs at him, hoping that one of them would have an effect, yet that never happened, only ever making him laugh harder. After none of that worked, I threatened to break the illusions I had originally set up, and while it did get him to calm down some, he still couldn't help the chuckle or two that escaped him a few times.

 After he re-adopted his calm persona, I broke the illusion, revealing ourselves to the oblivious world and the people still distracted by each other, or, so I thought, as Lee's hand was placed on my shoulder almost immediately after said illusion was broken.

 "And what might you be up to?"

In a panic, I went for the deceit route. "Nothing much, just some practice. I have to keep practicing if I'm ever going to actively use mana without going into a mini-coma." 

 He sighed. "It's okay if you don't want to tell me, but please make sure not to do anything reckless. I don't want to beat myself up for the rest of my life because I couldn't keep you from getting hurt."

 It hurt to swallow that pill I just made for myself, but I didn't know if Chuck wanted Lee to know or if he even cared. Lowering my head in shame, I nodded, tears trickling down the edges of my face.

 Seeing this, Lee kneeled before wiping away the small stream and then spoke with a smile. 

 "There's no need to cry, Clem. Think of it like this. When I was a kid, I lied to my parents a lot, and while it may feel absolutely terrible, it's a part of human nature. So I'll tell you as my Dad told me, a lie is just another form of truth, sure in a darker way, but a truth nonetheless."

 Wiping the newly formed tears away, I thought of how stupid that sounded, but for some reason, it was what I needed to hear as parts of the lingering guilt disappeared, leaving me to joke around a bit.

 While laughing, I spoke. "That sounds dumb."

He joined me in that laugh, "That's what I said, but it helps, doesn't it?"

 "Humm." I hummed back,

Pulling me into a hug, he continued. "Now, could you do me a favor?"

 "Humm."

 "Could you wait in the cart while me and the new guy help fix the new issue?"

 "Humm."

Letting me out of the hug, he stood. "Good, I'll be back in no time, so give me some time."

 Watching Lee's back as he climbed, I eventually tore my gaze away and decided to speak with Chuck, wanting to see if he cared if I told Lee.

 Little did I know, Chuck was watching the whole thing, listening and watching with a slow smile forming on his face. He didn't care if Lee knew, and he would have stepped in and said so himself had Lee not handled the situation with so much care. 

 Watching as Lee climbed the ladder, he couldn't help but think of one word. "Impressive."

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 After climbing the ladder, I walked up to the two new people, the woman, Krista, and the man Omid, both new people I felt would be joining the group after this problem was taken care of.

 Chuckling, I spoke. "The name's Lee, nice to meet you."