|chapter nine|

That letter. I want to answer him, but I can't. I don't know what to say, especially not to a stranger. If it were SeungMin or even SaeRon, I could go on and on about nonsense and they wouldn't care, but it's not. It's some strange boy I've never met. I've never even seen his face before.

I groan and toss myself back onto my pillows. SooBin falls from my arms and lands on the ground beside the bed. My eyes take in the bare white ceiling as if it were some magnificent Van Gogh painting. I lay there, completely engrossed in something no one but I can see.

I imagine standing on a gorgeous beach with warm sand beneath my feet. The cool breeze wraps me in a cloak of sanity as I stare out at the gently rolling waves. The colors of the water are mesmerizing. There's so many different shades of blue with a hint of green here and there.

I sit down in front of the water, my toes just barely touched by the cool liquid every time a wave rolls ashore. I pull my knees to my chest and rest my chin on them. I watch the horizon as the sun slowly makes its way closer.

I catch a glimpse of something far off in the distance, but I brush it off as a trick of the light or something. There's no one here but me. I'm completely alone. As I try to return my attention to the beautiful colors of the world around me, it's back.

I can just barely make out the shape of a man. Most of his body is hidden beneath the water, but his grayish blue eyes glow in the dimming light. I swallow hard. This is my dream. I'm in control of it. Who is he? Whose the stranger out at sea? How did he get here?

I shoot up in bed, my heart racing uncontrollably. I've seen those eyes before. I know I have. I just don't know where. The feeling of a gentle hand on my shoulder sends me running toward the door. I spin around in search of whatever or whoever touched me, but I come up empty.

I'm as alone as I should've been in my dream. There's not a soul in sight. The only other person in the whole house is SeungMin and he's across the hall. I hurry back toward my bed and slam my window shut. That's the only explanation. Someone had to have reached in my window.

"Hey, Byeol, are you—" SeungMin stops mid sentence as he steps in my room.

I spin toward him, still in shock. He narrows his eyes at me in confusion before glancing down at my bag.

"Are you okay? You look shook up. Did something happen? Why'd you shut your window? It's stuffy in here." SeungMin picks up my bag and slings it over his shoulder before meeting my gaze again.

"Yeah—it's nothing. I was just getting a little cold, that's it. Let's go, I'm sure SaeRon is getting antsy without you." I glance over my shoulder at my window one last time before hurrying toward SeungMin.

I push him into the hall and shut my door. I grab his arm and drag him toward the kitchen. I stop for a moment and drop SeungMin's arm so I can collect myself.

"Talk to me, what happened? Something clearly happened for you to be so jumpy." SeungMin stares me directly in the eyes, trying to get a clue as to why I'm not my normal self.

"It's nothing. Probably just a me thing—I thought I felt someone touch me. It's nothing really. It could've just been a breeze, that's why I shut the window. It's fine. Let's just go." I tug the front door open and hesitate before stepping out.

If someone did reach in the window to touch me, they would've left when I freaked out, right? They wouldn't hang around, would they?

"You could've just said that. It probably was just a breeze or something. I get that kind of feeling sometimes, too." SeungMin agrees and brushes it off as nothing, truly convinced it was just that, nothing.

I nod and make my way toward the car. I don't think it was nothing. I know for sure it was a hand, but it's not like I haven't had tactile hallucinations before. It could just be another hallucination. I honestly get them all the time.

SeungMin tugs the passenger door open and motions me inside. I climb in and her reaches over me to buckle my seatbelt for me. He delicately places my bag in my lap before shutting the door and hurrying around to the drivers side.

"Why didn't SaeRon take the car? She left before us, and it's kinda cold." I question as I watch SeungMin turn the heat on.

"Because she's SaeRon and she views it as a moment of healing. She's also just weird." SeungMin chuckles as he pokes fun at his sister who is nowhere near to defend herself.

"I'm weird." I attempt to defend her in my own awkward way.

"You're cute weird. SaeRon is just weird weird." SeungMin smiles at me before slowly backing out of the driveway.

"Wait!" I grab his arm and he immediately hits the breaks.

I unbuckle myself and fling the door open. I rush inside and head directly for my room. I'm doing it. I pick up the letter from my desk and grab a blank card and envelope. I dig through my desk drawer for my favorite pen before heading back out to the car.

"You scared me! What was that all about? It better have been important." SeungMin scolds as he leans over to buckle me in again.

"First, you do know that I can buckle myself, right?" I question as he sits upright and grips onto the wheel.

"I mean—yeah, I know you can, but I can buckle you, too. What's the big deal about it?" SeungMin mumbles shyly as he tries to distract himself from making any other subtle mistakes.

"You're cute. I had to get that letter. I forgot it on my desk. I kinda want to write him back." I shrug as I carefully slip the letter and blank card into my bag.

"Why do you want to write him back? What are you gonna say? You don't know him and you'll probably never meet him, so what's the point?" SeungMin asks as he keeps his eyes glued on the road.

"I think that's the point. I don't know him. I probably never will know him. It makes talking to him easier. I don't feel as pressured I guess. Besides, it's easier to write my feelings than it is to say them out loud. This'll give me an outlet so you don't have to deal with all my problems. You're already stressed enough as is." I reach over to pat his thigh before pulling my phone out.

"I don't mind dealing with your problems. It makes me feel useful. If I didn't help you with your problems, I'd probably have to help SaeRon with hers, and that is definitely something I never want to have to do. She's got more problems than you and nearly all of them have to do with trying to make it big by talking to random guys. Like how in the world is that going to work?" SeungMin shakes his head as he pulls into the back parking lot of the restaurant.

"Sae is adorable with her strange exchanges with unusual men from all over the world—okay, I lied. It is weird, but that's what makes her SaeRon. You'd be devastated if you didn't have her." I sigh as I lean my head back against the seat. Why did I agree to come here on my day off again?

"If I didn't have her, I wouldn't have known her. Therefore, I wouldn't be devastated because she would never have existed for me to be devastated by her disappearance." SeungMin begins trying to explain his irrational thoughts with a complex tongue twister of some sort.

"Okay, I get it. You win." I give in and let him have the victory.