'Fuuka senpai' The world's worst wingman part-1

[Ayanokouji POV]

I was in one of the school's Starbacks cafe, conversing with a random girl who piqued my curiosity. She was a third-year student, and I even got coffee for both of us. She could be seen showing interest in what I was saying and even laughing at the jokes I cracked. Her cute smile was a breath of fresh air.

It was only now, that the conversation took a rather unusual turn.

''Sooo....let me get this straight, you are telling me that if I rub your ah...thing.'' She pointed at my crotch while talking. '' A genie is going to come out?''

''Only if you rub it hard enough'' I said with a wink.

''........''

I left the cafe, enjoying the cool air outside, when I felt a tap on my shoulder. When I turned around, I found the energetic Kiryuin senpai grinning at me.

''Sooooo how did it go?~~'' she asked, her voice like a siren.

''What do you think?'' I pointed at my face which was now dripping with coffee.

'' Meh..I expected much worse, that's a win in my book.''

''Fuck off Fukka.'' I started walking in the direction of my dorms.

''Hey now, is that the way you talk to your lovable senpai?'' She placed an arm over my shoulder pulling me close like we were two long-time childhood friends. ''Now let's move to the next target.''

''grrr.....''

---------------------------------------------

[2 HOURS AGO]

I was tapping my fingers on the table looking bored. Our table was at the very end corner of the cafe, where no one usually sits, giving it a sort of confidential vibe. Facing Fukka who was in front of me, I couldn't help but sigh. She was going through her 5th plate of vanilla pastry, while I took a sip of my normal water.

Where do all those calories even go? I lowered my eyes from her face to her big boobs. Never mind I think I just found my answer.

''You sure you don't wanna eat anything,'' Fukka asked with a mouth full of pastry. ''Like I said it's my treat.''

''I will pass. Can you just say what you want Kiryuin senpai, so I can go home?'' I replied in an annoyed tone.

''Call me Fukka, and lose the senpai.''

So she wants me to use a more informal tone with her. I have no issues with that. But....it doesn't really answer why she called me here.

Fukka stood up and sat down next to me, our shoulders touching. She drew me close by wrapping one of her hands around my neck. Even through her clothes, I could feel her body heat. And she smelled so good I couldn't believe it.

She pointed in front of her, at all the students sitting with their friends, and ordering food and drinks.

'' Ayanokouji, what do you see?''

''Uh....customers?'' I asked a bit confused. Where is she going with this?

However, there is one pattern that I noticed. All of the customers are female. I haven't seen a single male yet, and I'm probably the only one here. I had no idea the girls had such a strong monopolization over this cafe.

''Well, I see a harem, your's for the taking.'' She said casually.

I nearly choked on the water I was drinking.

I stared at her perplexed, Fukka's eyes had a strange predatory glint to them.

Yup, there is no doubt about it.

This chick is insane. I heard that it's always the hot ones that are bat shit psychos. Kinda ironic now that I think about it.

I tried removing her arm from my shoulders, but that only made her grip me tighter. Granted, it did feel good to have a beautiful girl so close to me, but now is not the time for that.

''I know about your little hobby.'' She whispered soothingly in my ear.

I maintained my poker face, if she expected me to lose my composure then she's knocking at the wrong door.

My hobby? Is she talking about my new curiosity to sleep with a girl? If so I call only think of a few explanations on how she found out.

'' Ayanokouji I'm gonna teach you how to live.'' Fukka looked at me with a seductive smile. ''So, what do you say?''

There are only two ways a person can get out of an undesirable situation peacefully. One of them involves nuclear warheads, while the other involves just going with the flow.

''Will you let me go if I say yes.''

I just wanna go home.

---------------------------------------------

Fuck.

I should've never said 'yes'.

''Fukka...this is the stupidest thing I have ever heard.''

< Just do it, thank me later when you get laid. >

I was speaking with Fukka via the Bluetooth earbud she had given me; despite its small size, it is rather useful. I looked behind me, and sure enough, Fukka was following me, albeit at a reasonable distance, but close enough to see me.

I stopped right before a clothing store called the 'Red Rose'.

''Alright, I reached my destination.''

< Roger that, now initiate plan delta. >

Why is she making it sound like I'm in a spy movie?

I took a look around as I entered a clothing store that had both male and female clothing. The cashier was in the far corner, looking like he was about to doze off to sleep any second. He didn't even notice my presence.

I prepared for phase 2 by sneaking into the window display and making sure the cashier doesn't spot me.

The camera visuality does not extend to the window exhibit, which had two teenage-sized male mannequins in the display, just like Fukka said it would.

Gently removing one of the mannequins from its place, I took its position, replacing it. Taking a deep breath I assumed a comfortable pose and then-

Freeze.

Just like the Mannequin, I stood there in a pose, completely motionless.

I could see Fukka sitting on the outside bench giving me a thumbs up while smirking.

Ugh...that woman.

<This might take a while, so be careful not to lock your legs.> Her bewitching voice could be heard from the earbud.

After ten minutes or so, a pretty girl with short blue hair walked by while holding a Starbucks coffee. She came to a halt immediately in front of me, looking at me skeptically through the tempered glass. She looked at the mannequin to my right, then back at me, obviously perplexed as to why I appeared so realistic.

The girl seemed to be of average height with short blue hair that has a single small hair strand sticking up and purple eyes. She was still in her school uniform, a blue bowtie and an orange shirt under the blazer. Her greatest asset was definitely her legs, those thighs under that short skirt looked mesmerizing to look at.

Someone could make a religion out of it.

<HOTTIE SPOTTED! I repeat HOTTIE SPOTTED! Begin the final phase.>

Damn it Fukka you don't have to yell, I got eyes you know?

Slowly I started to move, giving the impression that I had "come to life". Blue-hair stood there frozen with her mouth wide open. I did an Oscar-worthy performance of acting surprised when I saw bluehair. Or at least I think I did, I have no idea what face I'm currently making.

Then I motioned with my hands for her to come inside. She broke from her trance and immediately bolted for the front door. I could hear her rapidly approaching footsteps.

<Noice. Noice. Noice.> Fukka could be heard chanting in my ear.

The girl stood there a dozen inches from me, I walked over to her.

''W-Wait how...?'' Blue-hair seemed out of breath, the coffee still in her arms.

''You see, I have seen you walk by hundreds of times from here, and prayed every night that one day I would become real just so I could touch your skin,'' I told her with a straight face.

Blue-hair looked at me, her eyes mesmerized. I brought my right hand near her cheek, gently caressing it. And instead of using pepper spray on me...you know like a normal person, she actually blushed.

Wait, don't tell me she actually believes this crap?

Fukka told me that girls love fantasy elements like destiny, horoscopes, spirit animals, fortune-telling, and vampires. Fucking vampires.

And it seems that her words did have some merit behind them.

''I never got to learn your name?'' I asked with sincere eyes.

''I-Ibuki...Mio Ibuki.''

<Great. Now have sex with her. Not in the window display tho, that's probably illegal these days >

With each passing second, Ibuki's blush deepened. If she's this easy to deceive, I'm scared to think what will happen to her if she's released into society. However, Ibuki's blush suddenly faded away and she raised an eyebrow.

''Wait, how could you have seen me hundreds of times when I'm a first-year. I just got here a week ago.''

I immediately moved my hands and sighed in relief. Thank God she has common sense......Wait...isn't that bad for me?

She stood there, glaring daggers at me like I just kicked her cat.

Desperate times call for desperate measures.

''Because ....I'm a time-traveling vampire.'' I decided to press my luck.

''........''

-------------------------------------------

Ibuki walked out of the store, fuming like an enraged wolf.

I followed, my face soaked with coffee once more, the only difference being a red palm mark on my cheeks. I could have avoided that slap, but I figured that I probably deserved it.

''Wow, you still have your poker face. Nothing can faze you can it?'' Fukka tossed me a towel like she was expecting me to get drenched.

This woman.