1 I am happy for you (1)

I only have one sister in this world. And I wouldn't trade her for anyone. She's the greatest, sweet, elegant, brave, caring and clever, I could only describe her in positive words. Even though we had fuss and fights she watched over me as I grew up, took responsibility when our parents couldn't. If she needed a liver, I'd give her mine. If she needed a heart, I'll have her take mine. If she needs an eye, I'll let her have both. This was my convictions.  So, I know I can give up the man I love for her...right?

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"Let's break up" they were the three words I feared the most that broke free from his mouth. Hearing it made my stomach  twist and my hands tremble. I had expected them eventually, But nevertheless they were unwelcomed. 

"...why?" I strained out like an idiot trying to come up with more to say. Why do we have to break up? Did I do something wrong? No, tell me you're kidding. I don't want to. But the lips are stubborn, sealing more word from being uttered. The reason was obvious. I knew it better than anyone. His heart was no longer mines but her's. My sister who I couldn't dare compare myself to. But I still let it escape, "Why" like a fool I wanted him to tell me. Although I knew the answer was as clear as day.

"I'm sorry" he said with a tone that was full of shame and pain, with his head hanging down darkened with guilt. I wanted to get angry, who was he to look like he was suffering more? I wanted to scream at him and hate him. To pull out his hair and call him trash. But no matter how much I wanted to I knew I couldn't. Not when he had looked at me with eyes that shown how sincere he was, how much he was hurting and how much he cared about me. The face he showed made my heart shatter, proving to hurt me more than his words . I was on the brink of tears, my teeth clenched together like they were fighting each other.  I didn't want him to notice, but he did. He stepped towards me and cradled my head in his chest for a second then leaving me a gentle kiss on the forehead he whispered "I'm sorry" again as he walked on, passing without looking back.

I am a hopeless fool.

Even to the last moment, he did what I wanted the most. It was so like him. He knew I wanted to be left alone. That I didn't want him to see the ugly me who was about to crumble. But how I also wanted him to hold me one last time. He is that kind of person, he's so sly.

you're sly. And I am a hopeless fool.

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