1 Prologue: Dead

I would like to use this time to point out, that in the event of my death should it ever happen again, please for the love of god let me go to the afterlife, because if there is one thing that I am certain of after having died the first time, I don't want to meet this jack ass again.

Who am I talking about?

Well it would be the massive a-hole in front of me that is giving his best impression of a used car salesman. Sure he didn't have the slick back hair, but the goddamned cheesy smile on his lips was just soo damn punchable.

How long have I even been here?

I wanted to rub my temples in pain as the god, and I use that term lightly, finished explaining what was going on. Honestly I was pretty happy when I first got here.

You know the old story, waking up in a completely white room, nothing as far as the eye could see. I had read enough cringy novels, and some rare good ones to know what the heck might be going on. The fact that I didn't remember how I died also probably helped with that small smattering of happiness.

The other facts such as not knowing who my parents were, or what my name was were a bit of a downer, but my rational brain was already gone as I thought of the possible adventures in my future. I mean what else could it be other than the fabled reincarnation with cheats, or what the heck do they call it these days?

"Obtaining the gold finger?"

Nup I could barely even think those cringy words, I'll just stick with gift or wish or some other stupid word, but fuck that gold finger crap.

Anyway, the second the blond ass hole popped up in front of me my excitement couldn't help but overflow. With perfectly white teeth and an appearance that could only come from being a god, I thought I had hit the jack pot. I must have done something, or they must have fucked up something that had caused my death.

Either way, I thought I was about to be sent to some world of my choosing with probably 3 wishes, anymore and even I know the god was a newb, or an idiot. Who gave out more than 3 wishes?

I mean it would instantly lead to an op mother fucker walking around the second he woke up. If you want to destroy a universe maybe, or fuck with another god, sure go ahead, otherwise 3 is more than enough, bloody un-imaginative, wish fulfilling assholes.

Bar those reasons I couldn't see any reason to give more than 3 wishes, I mean damn 3 wishes was pushing it. Though everyone always seemed to lean on some type of anime power, usually from Naruto…if I was a god giving out 3 wishes and they asked for some of the bullshit I had read, I would have smacked them upside the head, nerfed their wishes and kicked them on their way to their chosen universe, which I would make sure is set to hell mode.

Having said that I think that scenario would have at least been better than what I actually got.

So here are the hard facts of MY situation.

I died, dickwad wouldn't tell me how either, god I hope it wasn't something stupid like jacking off to porn and being electrocuted, kill me again.

What he did tell me was that it wasn't anything special, no truck-kun as people call it, no saving a damsel in distress and getting shot.

I also didn't really affect the world in any major way, no nurturing a genius that went on and cured cancer or maybe mentoring someone who brokered global peace, I was just a Joe Shmoe he decided to pick up.

After that he finally let me know why I was really here in this damn blank space of nothing.

He was bored.

Like super bored, first off, I wasn't the only one that he has supposedly chosen and I definitely wouldn't be the last, his words not mine.

Secondly, I couldn't really refuse, he was a "major god" (What a dick), and had a certain control over the afterlife.

What did that mean?

It meant I could go fuck myself because I wouldn't be going there until he was done with me.

Thank devil he said he only needed me until I died in my next life, whatever he set me up with. Of course I couldn't just off myself after he shoves me wherever he wants, ohh no, that would be "no fun" and I would have to start all over again but probably somewhere worse.

Third and finally he would be basing this supposed world I'm going to off a CYOA.

For those not in the know, CYOA stands for Create Your Own Adventure, I had read a few in my day, some were good, others were shit, that's all I could say about them. But at least I knew what I was getting into, if I played my cards right and got a good CYOA I could at least make my life a good one.

Though the CYOA was likely to be something fantasy or adventure, I still had to entertain the jackass.

And that brings us back to the start, with a shit eating grin on his face, the "god", moved to the side where a shiny white desk and computer now sat.

I rolled my eyes at the theatrics and curse him inside my head, a small part of me hopes he can read minds to know the amount of profanities I'm shouting at him, as I make my way over. Sitting down on the seat I take a quick peek at the top label.

"Champion of the orcs."