Ang mga text message sa phone (27)

Nanlaki ang mga mata ni Qiao Anhao sa sobrang pagkagulat. Biglang kumunot

ang kanyang noo at tinitigan ang mga mata ni Lucy, na parang naniniguro siya

kung tama ang mga narinig niya. Nang maproseso niya ang huli nitong sinabi,

naguguluhan siyang nagtanong, "Suicide?"

Bumilis ang tibok ng kanyang puso at sa sobrang takot, hindi niya na kayang

pakinggan ang magiging sagot ni Lucy.

Sinubukan ni Lu Jinnian na mag-suicide....Bakit naman nito naisipang

magpakamatay...

Habang pinipilit niyang magmukhang kalmado, pahigpit ng pahigpit ang hawak

niya sa tasang nasa kanyang kamay. Wala syang kahit kauntig ideya sa mga

narinig niya kay Lucy kaya noong oras na 'yun, bigla-bigla siyang namutla na

para bang naubusan siya ng dugo.

"Yes, suicide." Sa pagkakataong ito, ang palangiting Lucy ay biglang naging

seryoso. "But luckily, I discovered him just in time. He was temporarily

unconscious and was sent to the hospital for care. There weren't any major

issues, and it didn't leave behind any repercussions.

"That day, my husband didn't rush home from set, so I stayed with Nian in the

hospital whilst he was unconscious. He cried two words..."

Kahit maraming beses ng narinig ni Lucy ang dalawang salitang bukambibig ni

Lu Jinnian, hindi talaga siya marunog mag-Chinese kaya pautal-utal siyang

nagbaybay hanggang sa mabuo niya ang pangalan ni Qiao Anhao.

"Qiao Qiao.

"After he woke, he became even more quiet. The longest time he went without

saying a single word was a week. He loved to randomly stare at one spot in a

daze. He, at that time, didn't eat at all, so he was on an IV drip. However,

because the nurse had to step away after taking the needle out, he didn't know

how to call someone for help, so he lost blood."

Sa puntong ito, pakiramdam ni Qiao Anhao ay wala na siyang mukhang

maiharap kay Lucy kaya bigla siyang yumuko para iwasan ito ng tingin.

"That's when I realized he was severely depressed. His depression was so

serious, little thoughts could trigger suicidal ones. That time, when he tried to

commit suicide by cutting his wrists, perhaps the idea suddenly came to him

whilst he was shaving with a razor.

"Of course, severe depression wouldn't have come from a single event. This

was something that had followed him from his living environment as a child.

However, under normal situation it wouldn't affect him, but perhaps it was some

kind of thought that had triggered him.

"I tried so many ways to communicate with him, but they were all useless. Then,

I thought about your name. At first, when I mentioned you, he said some wild

things, and he practically trashed everything in the house.

"In the end, I could only control him with medicine to calm him down. Then I

would spend time with him everyday and endlessly communicate with him. At

the time, my husband stopped production to help me. We spent a lot of energy

to finally see him improve.

"That period of time, was a challenge for me, but for him, it was a nightmare.

"Though his condition has improved, it doesn't mean that he's fine now. He

looks normal during the day, but at night, he would never sleep at all. We've

taken him to the hospital, and to see my psychology teacher. We've used many

methods, but they haven't worked. Even if he got a little sleep, it would be

induced by medicine.

"It was during all those sleepless nights that I learned all about you from him.

"He used a lot of strength to force himself to forget about you, and yet he still

loved you so so deeply.

"You turned him into a hopeless lunatic.

"I put off all the work in my office and spent every night with him for two whole

months to help him accept the fact that he had already lost you."