you know things are bad when you feel guilty for being rude to vampires

When I got back to the house, there was no one waiting outside for my report. Still on alert?

Everything's cool, I thought tiredly.

My eyes quickly caught a small change in the now-familiar scene. There was a stack of light-colored fabric on the bottom step of the porch. I loped over to investigate. Holding my breath, because the vampire smell stuck to the fabric like you wouldn't believe, I nudged the stack with my nose.

Someone had laid out clothes. Huh. Edward must have caught my moment of irritation as I'd bolted out the door. Well. That was... nice. And weird.

I took the clothes gingerly between my teeth—ugh—and carried them back to the trees. Just in case this was some joke by the blond psychopath and I had a bunch of the little psychic's stuff here. Bet he'd love to see the look on my human face as I stood there naked, holding a tiny sundress.

In the cover of the trees, I dropped the stinking pile and shifted back to human. I shook the clothes out, snapping them against a tree to beat some of the smell from them. They were definitely guy's clothes—tan pants and a white button-down shirt. Neither of them long enough, but they looked like they'd fit around me. Must be Emmett's. I rolled the cuffs up on the shirtsleeves, but there wasn't much I could do about the pants. Oh well.

I had to admit, I felt better with some clothes to my name, even stinky ones that didn't quite fit. It was hard not being able to just jet back home and grab another pair of old sweatpants when I needed them. The homeless thing again—not having anyplace to go back to. No possessions, either, which wasn't bothering me too bad now, but would probably get annoying soon.

Exhausted, I walked slowly up the Cullens' porch steps in my fancy new secondhand clothes but hesitated when I got to the door. Did I knock? Stupid, when they knew I was here. I wondered why no one acknowledged that—told me either to come in orget lost. Whatever. I shrugged and let myself in.

More changes. The room had shifted back to normal—almost—in the last twenty minutes. The big flat-screen was on, low volume, showing some chick flick that no one seemed to be watching. Carlisle and Esme stood by the back windows, which were open to the river again. Alice, Jasper, and Emmett were out of sight, but I heard them murmuring upstairs. Beau was on the couch like yesterday, with just one tube still hooked into him, and an IV hanging behind the back of the sofa. He was wrapped up like a burrito in a couple of thick quilts, so at least they'd listened to me before. Royal was cross-legged on the ground by Beau's head. Edward sat at the other end of the couch with Beau's burrito'ed feet in his lap. He looked up when I came in and smiled at me— just a little twitch of his mouth—like something pleased him.

Beau didn't hear me. He only glanced up when Edward did, and then he smiled, too. There was more energy in his face than before, but there was still something sad in his smile. Behind his eyes. There was something else there, too. It was a desperateness in his smile. It wasn't… It wasn't the way he looked at Edward. It wasn't the loving way he would look at his precious vampire.

But what was it? I didn't understand it. It made me hurt. Hurt because I knew he wasn't ever going to love me, not like he loved Edward. And it made me hurt because there was still something in that smile. Not love, or maybe it was. It just wasn't the kind of love I wanted from him.

Edward was frowning a bit now. His eyes drifted over to Beau, like he was trying to understand the emotions behind Beau's eyes just as much as I was.

"They just wanted to talk," I mumbled, my voice dragging with exhaustion. "No attack on the horizon."

"Yes," Edward answered. "I heard most of it."

 That woke me up a little. We'd been a good three miles out. "How?"

"I'm hearing you more clearly—it's a matter of familiarity and concentration. Also, your thoughts are slightly easier to pick up when you're in your human form. So I caught most of what passed out there."

"Oh." It bugged me a little, but for no good reason, so I shrugged it off. "Good. I hate repeating myself."

"I'd tell you to go get some sleep," Beau said, "but my guess is that you're going to pass out on the floor in about six seconds, so there's probably no point."

It was amazing how much better he sounded, how much stronger he looked. I was pleased, in a weird way, knowing it was my blood that had helped him so much. At least there was somethingI could do for Beau.

I headed for the door, counting off the seconds for him as I walked. "One Mississippi... two Mississippi . . ."

"Where's the flood, mutt?" Royal muttered.

"You know how you drown a blond, Royal?" I asked without stopping or turning to look at him. "Glue a mirror to the bottom of a pool."

I heard Edward chuckle as I pulled the door shut. His mood seemed to improve in exact correlation to Beau's health.

"I've already heard that one," Royal called after me.

I trudged down the steps, my only goal to drag myself far enough into the trees that the air would be pure again. I planned to ditch the clothes a convenient distance from the house for future use rather than tying them to my leg, so I wouldn't be smelling them, either. As I fumbled with the buttons on the new shirt, I thought randomly about how buttons would never be in style for werewolves.

I heard the voices while I slogged across the lawn.

"Where are you going?" Beau asked.

"There was something I forgot to say to him."

"Let Jacob sleep—it can wait."

Yes, please, let Jacob sleep.

"It will only take a moment."

I turned slowly. Edward was already out the door. He had an apology in his expression as he approached me.

"Jeez, what now?"

"I'm sorry," he said, and then he hesitated, like he didn't know how to phrase what he was thinking.

What's on your mind, mind reader?

"When you were speaking to Sam's delegates earlier," he murmured, "I was giving a play-by-play for Carlisle and Esme and the rest. They were concerned—"

"Look, we're not dropping our guard. You don't have to believe Sam like we do. We're keeping our eyes open regardless."

"No, no, Jacob. Not about that. We trust your judgment. Rather, Esme was troubled by the hardships this is putting your pack through. She asked me to speak to you privately about it."

That took me off guard. "Hardships?"

"The homelesspart, particularly. She's very upset that you are all so... bereft."

I snorted. Vampire mother hen—bizarre. "We're tough. Tell her not to worry."

"She'd still like to do what she can. I got the impression that Liam prefers not to eat in his wolf form?"

"And?" I demanded.

"Well, we do have normal human food here, Jacob. Keeping up appearances, and, of course, for Beau. Liam is welcome to anything he'd like. All of you are."

"I'll pass that along."

"Liam hates us."

"So?"

"So try to pass it along in such a way as to make him consider it, if you don't mind."

"I'll do what I can."

"And then there's the matter of clothes."

I glanced down at the ones I was wearing. "Oh yeah. Thanks." It probably wouldn't be good manners to mention how bad they reeked.

He smiled, just a little. "Well, we're easily able to help out with any needs there. Alice rarely allows us to wear the same thing twice. We've got piles of brand-new clothes that are destined for Goodwill, and I'd imagine that Liam is fairly close to Jasper's size…"

"Not sure how he'll feel about bloodsucker castoffs. He's not as practical as I am."

"I trust that you can present the offer in the best possible light. As well as the offer for any other physical object you might need, or transportation, or anything else at all. And showers, too, since you prefer to sleep outdoors. Please... don't consider yourselves without the benefits of a home."

He said the last line softly—not trying to keep quiet this time, but with some kind of real emotion.

I stared at him for a second, blinking sleepily. "That's, er, nice of you. Tell Esme we appreciate the, uh, thought. But the perimeter cuts through the river in a few places, so we stay pretty clean, thanks."

"If you would pass the offer on, regardless."

"Sure, sure."

"Thank you."

I turned away from him, only to stop cold when I heard a dull thud, and the low, pained cry from inside the house. By the time I looked back, he was already gone.

What now?

I followed after him, shuffling like a zombie. Using about the same number of brain cells, too. It didn't feel like I had a choice. Something was wrong. I would go see what it was. There would be nothing I could do. And I would feel worse.

It seemed inevitable.

I let myself in again. Beau was on the floor in front of the couch panting. Royal held him while Edward, Carlisle, and Esme all hovered. A flicker of motion caught my eye; Alice was at the top of the stairs, staring down into the room with her hands pressed to her temples. It was weird—like she was barred from entering somehow.

"Give me a second, Carlisle," Beau panted.

"Beau," the doctor said anxiously, "I heard something crack. I need to take a look."

"Pretty sure"—pant—"it was a rib. Ow. Yep. Right here." He pointed to his left side, careful not to touch.

"What happened?" I demanded.

"My fault," Beau winced, "I tried to stand up, I fell, no big deal."

"I need to take an X-ray to assess the damage."

Beau took a deep breath. "Okay."

Royal lifted Beau carefully. Edward seemed like he was going to argue, but Royal bared his teeth at him and growled, "I've already got him."

So Beau was stronger now, but he was still weak—fragile. No way to win.

Blondie carried Beau swiftly up the big staircase with Carlisle and Edward right on his heels, none of them taking any notice of me standing dumbstruck in the doorway.

So they had a blood bank and an X-ray machine? Guess the doc brought his work home with him.

I was too tired to follow them, too tired to move. I leaned back against the wall and then slid to the ground. The door was still open, and I pointed my nose toward it, grateful for the clean breeze blowing in. I leaned my head against the jamb and listened.

I could hear the sound of the X-ray machinery upstairs. Or maybe I just assumed that's what it was. And then the lightest of footsteps coming down the stairs. I didn't look to see which vampire it was.

"Do you want a pillow?" Alice asked me.

"No," I mumbled. What was with the pushy hospitality? It was creeping me out.

"That doesn't look comfortable," she observed.

"S'not."

"Why don't you move, then?"

"Tired. Why aren't you upstairs with the rest of them?" I shot back.

"Headache," she answered.

I rolled my head around to look at her.

Alice was a tiny little thing. 'Bout the size of one of my arms. She looked even smaller now, sort of hunched in on herself. Her small face was pinched.

"Vampires get headaches?"

"Not the normal ones."

I snorted. Normal vampires.

"So how come you're never with Beau anymore?" I asked, making the question an accusation. It hadn't occurred to me before, because my head had been full of other crap, but it was weird that Alice was never around Beau, not since I'd been here. Maybe if Alice were by his side, Royal wouldn't be. "Thought you two were like this." I twisted two of my fingers together.

"Like I said"—she curled up on the tile a few feet from me, wrapping her skinny arms around her skinny knees—"headache."

"Beau's giving you a headache?"

"Yes."

I frowned. Pretty sure I was too tired for riddles. I let my head roll back around toward the fresh air and closed my eyes.

"Not Beau, really," she amended. "his illness."

I turned my head slightly to look at her, she seemed deeply annoyed.

"It changes so quickly," she told me, though she might have been talking to herself. For all she knew, I was already gone. "At first, I saw Beau die. Then I saw him better. Then a vampire. Then dead again. The disease changes so quickly, and Beau's future changes with it. But it changes so suddenly and quickly it's like he's… blurry. Like bad reception on a TV—like trying to focus your eyes on those fuzzy people jerking around on the screen. It's killing my head to watch him. And I can't see more than a few minutes ahead, anyway. And when he first decided... when he knew he wanted to stay human, he blurred right out of my sight. Scared me to death."

She was quiet for a second, and then she added, "I have to admit, it's a relief having you close by—in spite of the wet-dog smell. I can't see you. Everything goes away. Like having my eyes closed. It numbs the headache."

"Happy to be of service, ma'am," I mumbled.

"I just wish I could be more useful," she finally said.

"I know the feeling," I sighed.

"You don't mind if I sit here by you, do you?" she asked.

"Guess not. Stinks anyway."

"Thanks," she said. "This is the best thing for it, I guess, since I can't take aspirin."

"Could you keep it down? Sleeping, here."

She didn't respond, immediately lapsing into silence. I was out in seconds.

I was dreaming that I was really thirsty. And there was a big glass of water in front of me—all cold, you could see the condensation running down the sides. I grabbed the cup and took a huge gulp, only to find out pretty quick that it wasn't water—it was straight bleach. I choked it back out, spewing it everywhere, and a bunch of it blew out of my nose. It burned. My nose was on fire....

The pain in my nose woke me up enough to remember where I'd fallen asleep. The smell was pretty fierce, considering that my nose wasn't actually inside the house. Ugh. And it was noisy. Someone was laughing too loud. A familiar laugh, but one that didn't go with the smell. Didn't belong.

I groaned and opened my eyes. The skies were dull gray—it was daytime, but no clue as to when. Maybe close to sunset—it was pretty dark.

"About time," Blondie mumbled from not too far away. "The chainsaw impersonation was getting a little tired."

I rolled over and wrenched myself into a sitting position. In the process, I figured out where the smell was coming from. Someone had stuffed a wide feather pillow under my face. Probably trying to be nice, I'd guess. Unless it'd been Royal.

Once my face was out of the stinking feathers, I caught other scents. Like bacon and cinnamon, all mixed up with the vampire smell.

I blinked, taking in the room.

Things hadn't changed too much, except that now Beau was sitting up in the middle of the sofa, and the IV was gone. Blondie sat at his feet, his head resting against Beau's knees. Still gave me chills to see how casually they touched him, though I guess that was pretty brain-dead, all things considered. Edward was on one side of Beau, holding his hand. Alice was on the floor, too, like Royal. Her face wasn't pinched up now. And it was easy to see why—she'd found another painkiller.

"Hey, Jake's coming around!" Seth crowed.

He was sitting on Beau's other side, looking like he had just had a shower, his arm slung carelessly over his shoulders, an overflowing plate of food on his lap.

What the hell?

"He came to find you," Edward said while I got to my feet. "And Esme convinced him to stay for breakfast."

Seth took in my expression, and he hurried to explain. "Yeah, Jake—I was just checking to see if you were okay 'cause you didn't ever phase back. Liam got worried. I toldhim you probably just crashed human, but you know how Liam is. Anyway, they had all this food and, dang,"—he turned to Edward—"man, you can cook."

"Thank you," Edward murmured.

I inhaled slowly, trying to unclench my teeth. I couldn't take my eyes of Seth's arm.

"Beau got cold," Edward said quietly.

Right. None of my business, anyway. He wasn't mine to be jealous about.

Seth heard Edward's comment, looked at my face, and suddenly he needed both hands to eat with. He took his arm off Beau and dug in. I walked over to stand a few feet from the couch, still trying to get my bearings.

"Liam running patrol?" I asked Seth. My voice was still thick with sleep.

"Yeah," he said as he chewed. Seth had new clothes on, too. They fit him better than mine fit me. "He's on it. No worries. He'll howl if there's anything. We traded off around midnight. I ran twelve hours." He was proud of that, and it showed in his tone.

"Midnight? Wait a minute—what time is it now?"

"'Bout dawn." He glanced toward the window, checking.

Well, damn. I'd slept through the rest of the day and the whole night—dropped the ball. "Crap. Sorry about that, Seth. Really. You shoulda kicked me awake."

"Naw, man, you needed some serious sleep. You haven't taken a break since when? Night before your last patrol for Sam? Like forty hours? Fifty? You're not a machine, Jake. 'Sides, you didn't miss anything at all."

Nothing at all? I glanced quickly at Beau. His color was back to the way I remembered it. Pale, but with the rose undertone. His lips were pink again. Even His hair looked better—shinier. He saw me appraising and gave me a grin. There was something off about his smile, again. But I still couldn't figure what.

"How's the rib?" I asked.

"Taped up nice and tight. I don't even feel it."

I rolled my eyes. I heard Edward grind his teeth together, and I figured Beau's blow-it-off attitude bugged him as much at it bugged me.

"What's for breakfast?" I asked, a little sarcastic. "Did the vampire prepare a five-star, three course meal?"

Beau stuck his tongue out at me. Totally himself again. "Omelets and cinnamon rolls!" He said enthusiastically, but his eyes darted down to his plate. There were a few saltine crackers and some apple slices. "Well, for those of us who can stomach that much."

"Go get some breakfast, Jake," Seth said. "There's a bunch in the kitchen. You've got to be empty."

I examined the food in his lap. Looked like half a cheese omelet and the last fourth of a Frisbee-sized cinnamon roll. My stomach growled, but I ignored it.

"What's Liam having for breakfast?" I asked Seth critically.

"Hey, I took food to him before I ate anything," he defended himself. "He said he'd rather eat roadkill, but I bet he caves. These cinnamon rolls... " He seemed at a loss for words.

"I'll go hunt with him, then."

Seth sighed as I turned to leave.

"A moment, Jacob?"

It was Carlisle asking, so when I turned around again, my face was probably less disrespectful than it would have been if anyone else had stopped me.

"Yeah?"

Carlisle approached me while Esme drifted off toward the other room. He stopped a few feet away, just a little bit farther away than the normal space between two humans having a conversation. I appreciated him giving me my space.

"I'm afraid I'm going to have to ask you, if you're still willing, to donate more blood for Beau. In normal circumstances, it would be far too soon. However, I believe your regenerative abilities may compensate for another donation so quickly."

"Sure, sure. You wanna do it now?" I asked.

"In a moment," he hesitated. "There was something else."

"What is it?"

"Well, speaking of hunting," he began in a somber tone. "That's going to be an issue for my family. I understand that our previous truce is inoperative at the moment, so I wanted your advice. Will Sam be hunting for us outside of the perimeter you've created? We don't want to take a chance with hurting any of your family—or losing any of ours. If you were in our shoes, how would you proceed?"

I leaned away, a little surprised, when he threw it back at me like that. What would I know about being in a bloodsucker's expensive shoes? But, then again, I did know Sam.

"It's a risk," I said, trying to ignore the other eyes I felt on me and to talk only to him. "Sam's calmed down some, but I'm pretty sure that in his head, the treaty is void. As long as he thinks the tribe, or any other human, is in real danger, he's not going to ask questions first, if you know what I mean. But, with all that, his priority is going to be La Push. There really aren't enough of them to keep a decent watch on the people while putting out hunting parties big enough to do much damage. I'd bet he's keeping it close to home."

Carlisle nodded thoughtfully.

"So I guess I'd say, go out together, just in case. And probably you should go in the day, 'cause we'd be expecting night. Traditional vampire stuff. You're fast—go over the mountains and hunt far enough away that there's no chance he'd send anyone that far from home."

"And leave Beau behind, unprotected?"

I snorted. "What are we, chopped liver?"

Carlisle laughed, and then his face was serious again. "Jacob, you can't fight against your brothers."

My eyes tightened. "I'm not saying it wouldn't be hard, but if they were really coming to kill him—I would be able to stop them."

Carlisle shook his head, anxious. "No, I didn't mean that you would be... incapable. But that it would be very wrong. I can't have that on my conscience."

"It wouldn't be on yours, Doc. It would be on mine. And I can take it."

"No, Jacob. We will make sure that our actions don't make that a necessity." He frowned thoughtfully "We'll go three at a time," he decided after a second. "That's probably the best we can do."

"I don't know, Doc. Dividing down the middle isn't the best strategy."

"We've got some extra abilities that will even it up. If Edward is one of the three, he'll be able to give us a few miles' radius of safety."

We both glanced at Edward. His expression had Carlisle backtracking quickly.

"I'm sure there are other ways, too," Carlisle said. Clearly, there was no physical need strong enough to get Edward away from Beau now. "Alice, I would imagine you could see which routes would be a mistake?"

"The ones that disappear," Alice said, nodding. "Easy."

Edward, who had gone all tense with Carlisle's first plan, loosened up. Beau was staring unhappily at Alice, that little crease between his eyes that he got when he was stressed out.

"Okay, then," I said. "That's settled. After we're done with the bloodletting, I'll just be on my way. Seth, I'll expect you back on at dusk, so get a nap in there somewhere, all right?"

"Sure, Jake. I'll phase back soon as I'm done. Unless..." he hesitated, looking at Beau. "Do you need me?"

"He's got blankets," I snapped at him.

"I'm fine, Seth, thanks," Beau said quickly.

And then Esme flitted back in the room, a big covered dish in her hands. She stopped hesitantly just behind Carlisle's elbow, her wide, dark gold eyes on my face. She held the dish out and took a shy step closer.

"Jacob," she said quietly. Her voice wasn't quite so piercing as the others'. "I know it's... unappetizing to you, the idea of eating here, where it smells so unpleasant. But I would feel much better if you would take some food with you when you go. I know you can't go home, and that's because of us. Please—ease some of my remorse. Take something to eat." She held the food out to me, her face all soft and pleading. I don't know how she did it, because she didn't look older than her mid-twenties, and she was bone pale, too, but something about her expression suddenly reminded me of my mom.

Jeez.

"Uh, sure, sure," I mumbled. "I guess. Maybe Liam's still hungry or something."

I reached out and took the food with one hand. I mean, food was food, so I guessed it wouldn't be the worst thing in the world to eat it.

"Thank you, Jacob," Esme said, smiling at me. How did a stone face have dimples, for crying out loud?

"Um, thank you," I said. My face felt hot—hotter than usual.

This was the problem with hanging out with vampires—you got used to them. They started messing up the way you saw the world. They started feeling like friends.

"Jacob, if you don't mind coming upstairs? We'll be quick." Carlisle said gently.

Oh, right, more blood donation.

"Will you come back later, Jake?" Beau asked as I tried to make a run for the stairs

"Uh, I don't know."

He pressed his lips together, like he wanted to say something but changed his mind. "It's up to you, Jake. No pressure. But… if you'd like to…" He trailed off.

I inhaled deeply through my nose, and then realized, too late, that that was not a good idea. I winced. "Maybe."

"Jacob?" Esme asked. I turned toward her as she continued; she took a few steps after me. "I left a basket of clothes on the porch. They're for Liam. They're freshly washed—I tried to touch them as little as possible." She frowned. "Do you mind taking them to him?"

"On it," I muttered, and then I hurried up the stairs before anyone could guilt me into anything else.