shining

"I don't know how much we should tell Renée about this," Charlie said, hesitating with one foot out the door. He stretched, and then his stomach growled.

I nodded. "I know. I don't want to worry her. Better to protect her. This stuff isn't for the fainthearted."

His lips twisted up to the side ruefully. "I would have tried to protect you, too, if I'd known how. But I guess you've never fit into the fainthearted category, have you?"

I smiled back.

Charlie patted his stomach absently. "I'll think of something. We've got time to discuss this, right?"

"Right," I promised him.

It had been a long day in some ways, and so short in others. Charlie was late for dinner—Sue Clearwater was cooking for him and Billy. Thatwas going to be an awkward evening, but at least he'd be eating real food; I was glad someone was trying to keep him from starving due to his lack of cooking ability.

All day the tension had made the minutes pass slowly; Charlie had never fully relaxed the stiff set of his shoulders. But he'd been in no hurry to leave, either. He'd watched two whole games—thankfully so absorbed in his thoughts that he was totally oblivious to Emmett's suggestive jokes that got more pointed and less football-related with each aside—and the after-game commentaries, and then the news, not moving until Seth had reminded him of the time.

"You gonna stand Billy and my mom up, Charlie? C'mon. Beau'll still be here tomorrow. Let's get some grub, eh?"

It had been clear in Charlie's eyes that he hadn't trusted Seth's assessment, but he'd let Seth lead the way out. The doubt was still there as he paused now. The clouds were thinning, the rain gone. The sun might even make an appearance just in time to set.

"Jake says you guys were going to take off on me," he muttered to me now.

"I didn't want to do that if there was any way at all around it. That's why we're still here."

"He said you could stay for a while, but only if I'm tough enough, and if I can keep my mouth shut."

"Yes… but I can't promise that we'll never leave, Dad. It's pretty complicated…"

"Need to know," he reminded me.

"Right."

"You'll visit, though, if you have to go?"

"I promise, Dad. Now that you know justenough, I think this can work. I'll keep as close as you want."

He chewed on his lip for half a second, then leaned slowly toward me with his arms cautiously extended. I locked my teeth, held my breath, and wrapped my arms very carefully around his warm, soft waist.

"Keep real close, Beau," he mumbled. "Real close."

"Love you, Dad," I whispered through my teeth.

He seemed to register some sort of difference in the hug; either my slightly lower body temperature or perhaps I felt more… sturdy… than I had before. He released me from the hug and put his hands on my shoulders.

"Love you, too, kiddo. Whatever else has changed, that hasn't." He reached up and ruffled my hair. "Can I come back tomorrow?"

"Sure, Dad. Of course. I'll be here."

"You'd better be," he said sternly, but his face was soft. "See you tomorrow, Beau."

"Thank you, Dad."

"For what, kiddo?"

"So much has changed so quickly. My head hasn't stopped spinning. If I didn't have you now, I don't know how I'd keep my grip on—on reality." I'd been about to say my grip on who I was. That was probably more than he needed.

Charlie's stomach growled before he could respond.

"Go eat, Dad." I laughed, "We will be here." I remembered how it felt, that first uncomfortable immersion in fantasy—the sensation that everything would disappear in the light of the rising sun.

Charlie nodded. He glanced past me into the house; his eyes were a little wild for a minute as he stared around the big bright room. Everyone was still there, besides Jacob, who I could hear raiding the refrigerator in the kitchen; Alice was lounging on the bottom step of the staircase with Jasper's head in her lap; Carlisle had his head bent over large book in his lap; Esme was humming to herself, sketching on a notepad, while Royal and Emmett laid out the foundation for a monumental house of cards under the stairs; Edward had drifted to his piano and was playing very softly to himself. There was no evidence that the day was coming to a close, that it might be time to eat or shift activities in preparation for the evening. Something intangible had changed in the atmosphere. The Cullens weren't trying as hard as they usually did—the human charade had slipped ever so slightly, enough for Charlie to feel the difference.

He shuddered, shook his head, and sighed. "See you tomorrow, Beau." He frowned and then added, "I mean, it's not like you don't look… like you. You look great, kid. I'll get used to it."

I laughed. "Thanks, Dad."

Charlie nodded and walked thoughtfully toward his car. I watched him drive away; it wasn't until I heard his tires hit the freeway that I realized I'd done it. I'd actually made it through the whole day without hurting Charlie. All by myself. I must have some sort of extra power!

It seemed to good to be true. Could I really have my new family, some of my old, some semblance of my humanity and eternity all at once? And I'd thought that yesterday had been perfect.

"Wow," I whispered. I reached up and brushed some of the makeup Alice had applied off my face.

The sound of the piano cut off, and Edward's arms were around my waist, his chin resting on my shoulder.

"You took the word right out of my mouth."

"Edward, I did it!"

"You did. You were unbelievable. All that worrying over being a newborn, and then you skip it altogether." He laughed quietly.

"Now I'm sure he's not really a vampire, let alone a newborn," Emmett called from under the stairs. "He's too tame."

Al the embarrassing comments he'd made in front of my father sounded in my ears again, and it was probably a good thing Edward had his arms around my waist. Unable to help my reaction entirely, I snarled under my breath.

"Oooo, scary," Emmett laughed.

"Charlie will be back tomorrow," I growled, "and you better be on your best behavior."

"Fat chance," Emmett said. Royal laughed with him this time.

"Not brilliant, Emmett," Edward said scornfully, turning me to face him. He winked at me when I met his eyes.

"What do you mean?" Emmett demanded.

"It's a little dense, don't you think, to antagonize the strongest being in the house?"

Emmett threw back his head and snorted. "Please!"

"Beau," Edward murmured to me while Emmett listened closely; "do you remember a few months ago, I asked you to do me a favor if you ever became immortal?"

That rang a dim bell. I sifted through the blurry human conversations. After a moment, I remembered and I gasped, "Oh!"

Alice trilled a long, pealing laugh. Jacob poked his head around the corner, his mouth stuffed with food.

"What?" Emmett growled.

"Really?" I asked Edward.

"Trust me," he said.

I took a deep breath. "Emmett, how do you feel about a little bet?"

He was on his feet at once. "Awesome. Bring it."

I bit my lip for a second. He was just so huge.

"Unless you're too afraid…?" Emmett suggested.

I squared my shoulders. "You. Me. Arm-wrestling. Dining room table. Now."

Emmett's grin stretched across his face.

"Er, Beau," Alice said quickly, "I think Esme is fairly fond of that table. It's an antique."

"Thanks," Esme mouthed at her.

"No problem," Emmett said with a gleaming smile. "Right this way, Beau."

I followed him out the back, toward the garage; I could hear all the others trailing behind. There was a largish granite boulder standing up out of a tumble of rocks near the river, obviously Emmett's goal. Though the big rock was a little rounded and irregular, it would do the job.

Emmett placed his elbow on the rock and waved me forward.

I was nervous again as I watched the thick muscles in Emmett's arm roll, but I kept my face smooth. Edward had promised I would be stronger than anyone for a while. He seemed very confident about this, and I felt strong. That strong? I wondered, looking at Emmett's biceps. I wasn't even a true vampire, though. Maybe I wasn't as strong as a newborn vampire. There was more about me that was unlike a vampire. Maybe that's why control was so easy for me.

I tried to look unconcerned as I set my elbow against the stone.

"Okay, Emmett. I win, and you cannot say one more word about my sex life to anyone, not even Roy. No allusions, no innuendos—no nothing."

His eyes narrowed. "Deal. I win, and it's going to get a lot worse."

He heard my breath stop and grinned evilly. There was no hint of bluff in his eyes.

"You gonna back down so easy, little brother?" Emmett taunted. "Not much wild about you, is there? I bet that cottage doesn't have a scratch." He laughed. "Did Edward tell you how many houses Roy and I smashed?"

I gritted my teeth and grabbed his big hand. "One, two—"

"Three," he grunted, and shoved against my hand.

Nothing happened.

Oh, I could feel the force he was exerting. My new mind seemed pretty good at all kinds of calculations, and so I could tell that if he wasn't meeting any resistance, his hand would have pounded right through the rock without difficulty. The pressure increased, and I wondered randomly if a cement truck doing forty miles an hour down a sharp decline would have similar power. Fifty miles an hour? Sixty? Probably more.

It wasn't enough to move me. His hand shoved against mine with crushing force, but it wasn't unpleasant. It felt kind of good in a weird way. I'd been so very careful since the last time I woke up, trying so hard not to break things. It was a strange relief to use my muscles. To let the strength flow rather than struggling to restrain it.

Emmett grunted; his forehead creased and his whole body strained in one rigid line toward the obstacle of my unmoving hand. I let him sweat—figuratively—for a moment while I enjoyed the sensation of the crazy force running through my arm.

A few seconds, though, and I was a little bored with it. I flexed; Emmett lost an inch.

I laughed. Emmett snarled harshly through his teeth.

"Just keep your mouth shut," I reminded him, and then I smashed his hand into the boulder. A deafening crack echoed off the trees. The rock shuddered, and a piece— about an eighth of the mass—broke off at an invisible fault line and crashed to the ground. It fell on Emmett's foot, and I snickered. I could hear Jacob's and Edward's muffled laughter.

Emmett kicked the rock fragment across the river. It sliced a young maple in half before thudding into the base of a big fir, which swayed and then fell into another tree.

"Rematch. Tomorrow."

"I don't think it's going to wear off by then," I told him. "Maybe it won't wear off at all."

Emmett growled, flashing his teeth. "Tomorrow."

"Hey, whatever makes you happy, big brother."

As he turned to stalk away, Emmett punched the granite, shattering off an avalanche of shards and powder. It was kind of neat, in a childish way.

Fascinated by the undeniable proof that I was stronger than the strongest vampire I'd ever known, I placed my hand, fingers spread wide, against the rock. Then I dug my fingers slowly into the stone, crushing rather than digging; the consistency reminded me of hard cheese. I ended up with a handful of gravel.

"Cool," I mumbled.

With a grin stretching my face, I whirled in a sudden circle and karate-chopped the rock with the side of my hand. The stone shrieked and groaned and—with a big poof of dust —split in two.

I started laughing.

I didn't pay much attention to the chuckles behind me while I punched and kicked the rest of the boulder into fragments. I was having too much fun, snickering away the whole time.

"Show off." Jake muttered, rolling his eyes.

"Tell me you didn't let go a bit on your first run, wolf-boy," Edward teased, no antagonism in his voice at all.

"That's different," Jacob said, and I watched in surprise as he mock-punched Edward's shoulder. "Beau's supposed to be the mature one here. Married and all that. Shouldn't there be more dignity?"

"Oh, please!" I laughed, taking a handful of stones and grinding them to dust in my hand. "You're just jealous I'm fast and strong."

"For once in your life." Jacob grinned, teasing.

The sun suddenly burst through the clouds, shooting long beams of ruby and gold across the nine of us, and I was immediately lost in the beauty of my skin in the light of the sunset. Dazed by it.

I ran my hand along my arm, marveling at the strange way it glowed in the light. It wasn't diamond-bright facets like Edward or the others. My skin glowed with a faint luminosity, subtle and mysterious. Nothing that would keep me inside on a sunny day like Edward's glowing sparkle.

"Wow," I breathed.

"You're still the most beautiful thing I've ever seen," Edward sighed, happily. When I turned to argue, the sunlight on his face stunned me into silence.

Jacob had his hand in front of his face, pretending to shield his eyes from the glare. "Freaky Beau," he commented.

"What an amazing creature he is," Edward murmured, almost in agreement, as if Jacob's comment was meant as a compliment. He was both dazzling and dazzled.

It was a strange feeling—not surprising, I supposed, since everything felt strange now—this being a natural at something. As a human, I'd been sufficiently average at most things besides cooking. Hardly top on any lists, always feeling slightly out of sync with everyone else. Being different as a human had alienated me slightly, made me feel like I didn't have a place in the world.

So this was really different. I was amazing now—to them and to myself. It was like I had been born to reach this point. The idea made me want to laugh, but it also made me want to sing. I had found my true place in the world, the place I fit, the place I shined.