big day

I sat bolt upright in bed.

I was shivering and gasping in my warm bed for several minutes, trying to break free of the nightmare. The sky outside my window turned gray and then pale pink while I waited for my heart to slow.

When I was fully back to the reality of my messy, familiar room, I was annoyed with myself. What a nightmare to have before my wedding! That's what I got for obsessing over disturbing stories and frivolous fears in the middle of the night.

Eager to shake off the nightmare, I got dressed and headed down to the kitchen long before I needed to. First I cleaned the already tidy rooms, and then when Charlie was up I made him pancakes. I was much too keyed up to have any interest in eating breakfast myself—I sat bouncing in my seat while he ate.

"You're picking up Mr. Weber at three o'clock," I reminded him.

"I don't have that much to do today besides bring the minister, kiddo. I'm not likely to forget my only job." Charlie had taken the entire day off for the wedding, and he was definitely at loose ends. Now and then, his eyes flickered furtively to the closet under the stairs, where he kept his fishing gear—his tried and true stress-reliever.

"It's really great of Mr. Weber that he was so willing to perform the ceremony, considering it isn't traditional." I mused. "Also, Dad, picking up Mr. Weber is not your only job. You also have to be dressed and presentable."

He scoffed and muttered the words "monkey suit" under his breath.

There was a brisk tapping on the front door.

"You think you have it bad," I said, grimacing as I rose. "Alice will probably be working on me all day long."

Charlie nodded thoughtfully, conceding that he did have the lesser ordeal. I gave him a quick hug as I passed and then continued on to get the door for my best girlfriend and soon-to-be-sister.

Alice's short black hair was smoothed into a timeless update on a nineteen twenties finger wave that was soft and gentle, which was in stark contrast to her businesslike expression. She dragged me from the house with barely a "Hey, Charlie" called over her shoulder.

Alice appraised me as I got into her Porsche.

"Oh, hell, look at your eyes!" She tsked in reproach. "What did you do? Stay up all night?"

"Almost."

She glowered. "I've only allotted so much time to make you stunning, Beau—you might have taken better care of my raw material."

"No one expects me to be stunning. I think the bigger problem is that I might fall asleep during the ceremony and not be able to say 'I do' at the right part, and then Edward will make his escape."

She laughed. "I'll throw my bouquet at you when it gets close."

"Thanks."

"At least you'll have plenty of time to sleep on the plane tomorrow."

I raised one eyebrow. Tomorrow, I mused. If we were heading out tonight after the reception, and we would still be on a plane tomorrow… well, we weren't going to Boise, Idaho. Edward hadn't dropped a single hint. I wasn't too stressed about the mystery, but it wasstrange not knowing where I would be sleeping tomorrow night. Or hopefully notsleeping…

Alice realized that she'd given something away, and she frowned.

"You're all packed and ready," she said to distract me.

It worked. "Alice, I wish you would let me pack my own things!"

"It would have given too much away."

"And denied you an opportunity to shop."

"You'll be my brother officially in ten short hours… it's about time to get over this aversion to new clothes."

I glowered groggily out the windshield until we were almost to the house.

"Is he back yet?" I asked.

"Don't worry, he'll be there before the music starts. But you don't get to see him, no matter when he gets back. We're doing this the traditional way."

I snorted. "Traditional!"

"Okay, aside from the groom and groom."

"You know he's already peeked."

"Oh no—that's why I'm the only one who's seen you in your tuxedo. I've been very careful to not think about it when he's around."

"Well," I said as we turned into the drive, "I see you got to reuse your graduation decorations." Three miles of drive were once again wrapped in hundreds of thousands of twinkle lights. This time, there were white lanterns hanging from the trees as well.

"Waste not, want not. Enjoy this, because you don't get to see the inside decorations until it's time." She pulled into the cavernous garage north of the main house; Emmett's big jeep was still gone.

"Aren't I more or less the bride in this situation? Since when is the bride not allowed to see the decorations?" I protested.

"Since he put me in charge. I want you to get the full impact coming down the stairs."

She clapped her hands over my eyes before she let me inside the kitchen. I was immediately assailed by the scent.

"What is that?" I wondered as she guided me into the house.

"Is it too much?" Alice's voice was abruptly worried. "You're the first human in here; I hope I got it right."

"It smells wonderful!" I assured her—almost intoxicating, but not at all overwhelming, the balance of the different fragrances was subtle and flawless. "Orange blossoms… lilac… and something else—am I right?"

"Very good, Beau. You only missed the freesia and the roses."

She didn't uncover my eyes until we were in her oversized bathroom. I stared at the long counter, covered in all the paraphernalia of a beauty salon, and began to feel my sleepless night.

"Is this really necessary? I'm only going to look so good."

She pushed me down into a low gray chair. "You'll look amazing by the time I'm through with you."

"Okay, Alice," I yawned, leaning back in the chair. "Wake me up when it's time to start walking down the aisle." I closed my eyes, hoping I'd be able to nap through it. I did drift in and out a little bit while she masked, buffed, and polished me.

It was after lunchtime when Royal glided past the bathroom door in a silver-gray tuxedo with his golden hair pulled back into an ornately braided bun on the back of his head. He was so beautiful it left me breathless.

"They're back," Royal said, and I immediately perked up.

"Keep Edward out of here!" Alice commanded.

"He won't cross you today," Royal reassured her. "He values his life too much. Esme's got them all finishing things up out back. Do you want some help? I could do his hair."

My jaw fell open. I floundered around in my head, trying to remember how to close it.

I had never been Royal's favorite person in the world. Though he had his impossible beauty, his loving family, and his soul mate in Emmett, he would have traded it all to be human. When I'd first stumbled into the Cullens's lives, he had been personally offended at the thought that I would so easily trade away my humanity for immortality. We had reached a sort of understanding though, when he found out I was adamant that I would stay human.

Even then, Royal had lived in a time when loving another man had effectively ended his life, and a part of him did resent that, despite the occasional homicidal vampire, I had things so much easier than he had. So his offer to help was… surprising.

"Sure," Alice said easily. "I want to really highlight how long his hair is getting." Her hands started combing through my hair. "I want it to look natural, with some shine, and these beautiful curls are the star!"

"Are you sure we shouldn't just cut it, Alice? It's getting pretty long." I asked catching one of the jaw length curls between my fingers.

"I think you look great, Beau." Royal assured me, replacing Alice's hands with his own, shaping my hair with a feather-light touch. "Don't worry, I know a thing or two about long hair." He smirked at me in the mirror.

I smiled back as he gently styled my hair back and away from my face, tucking the long curls behind my ears. Alice applied some expensive moisturizers to my face, and a few dots of concealer to hide the circles under my eyes.

Once Royal had received Alice's commendation on my hair, he was sent off to retrieve my tux and then to locate Jasper, who had been dispatched to pick up my mother and her husband, Phil, from their hotel. Downstairs I could faintly hear the door opening and closing over and over. Voices began to float up to us.

Alice had me get up and put my tux on. At first, I had no problems, but as I continued getting dressed I felt myself growing more and more nervous. By the time I was trying to button the waistcoat, my hands were shaking so bad Alice had to do it for me.

"Deep breaths, Beau," Alice soothed me. "And try to lower your heart rate. You're going to start sweating all over your tux."

I narrowed my eyes at her as I inhaled deeply. "I'll get right on that." I breathed out.

She slid the jacket onto my shoulders. "I have to get dressed now. Can you hold yourself together for two minutes?"

"Um… maybe?"

She rolled her eyes and darted out the door.

I concentrated on my breathing, counting each movement of my lungs, and stared at the patterns that the bathroom light made on the shiny fabric of my jacket lapel. I was afraid to look in the mirror—afraid the image of myself in this white tuxedo would send me over the edge into a full-scale panic attack.

Alice was back before I had taken two hundred breaths, in a dress that flowed down her slender body like a silvery waterfall.

"Alice—wow."

"Do you like it?" She asked, spinning gracefully, "the color for the dresses was Edward's idea. The tuxedos for the boys, too. He wanted them to match your beautiful eyes."

I blushed.

"Now, are you in control of yourself, or do I have to bring Jasper up here?"

"They're back? Is my mom here?"

"She just walked in the door. She's on her way up."

Renée had flown in two days ago, and I'd spent every minute I could with her—every minute that I could pry her away from Esme and the decorations, in other words. As far as I could tell, she was having more fun with this than a kid locked inside Disneyland overnight. Looking back, I felt silly for being so afraid of her reaction to being told about the wedding in the first place.

"Oh, Beau!" she squealed now, gushing before she was all the way through the door. "Oh, honey, you're so handsome! Oh, I'm going to cry! Alice, you're amazing! You and Esme should go into business as wedding planners. Where did you find this tuxedo? It's gorgeous! So graceful, so elegant. Beau, you look like you just stepped out of an Austen movie." My mother's voice sounded a little distance away, everything in the room was slightly blurry. "Such a creative idea, designing the theme around Beau's ring. So romantic! To think it's been in Edward's family since the eighteen hundreds!"

Alice and I exchanged a brief conspiratorial look. My mom was off on the tuxedo style by more than a hundred years. The tuxedo, like the overall aesthetic of the wedding were truthfully more inspired by Edward than my ring.

There was a loud, gruff throat-clearing in the doorway.

"Renée, Esme said it's time you got settled down there," Charlie said.

"Well, Charlie, don't you look dashing!" Renée said in a tone that was almost shocked. That might have explained the crustiness of Charlie's answer.

"Alice got to me."

"Is it really time already?" Renée said to herself, sounding almost as nervous as I felt. "This has all gone so fast. I feel dizzy."

That made two of us.

"Give me a hug before I go down," Renée insisted. "Carefully now, I don't want to get makeup on your tuxedo."

My mother squeezed me gently around the waist, then wheeled for the door, only to complete the spin and face me again.

"Oh goodness, I almost forgot! Charlie, where's the box?"

My dad rummaged in his pockets for a minute and then produced a small white box, which he handed to Renée. Renée lifted the lid and held it out to me.

"Something blue," she said.

"Something old, too. They were your Grandpa Swan's," Charlie added. "We had a jeweler replace the paste stones with sapphires from your Grandma Higginbotham's favorite earrings."

Inside the box were two silver cufflinks with brilliant, dark blue sapphires on the ends.

My throat got all thick. "Mom, Dad… you shouldn't have."

"Alice wouldn't let us do anything else," Renée said. "Every time we tried, she all but ripped our throats out."

A hysterical giggle burst through my lips.

Alice stepped up and quickly fastened the cufflinks in place on my sleeves. "That's something old and something blue," she mused, taking a few steps back to admire me. "And your tuxedo is new… so here—"

She tucked an intricately folded antique silk handkerchief into the pocket of my jacket.

"That's mine and I want it back," Alice told me.

"Okay, Alice."

"You look wonderful, Beau." She smiled, and I blushed. "There," she said with satisfaction. "A little color—that's all you needed. You are officially perfect." With a little self-congratulatory smile, she turned to my parents. "Renée, we'll meet you at the bottom of the stairs."

"Yes, Ma'am." Renée blew me a kiss and hurried out the door.

"Charlie, would you grab my flowers, please?"

While Charlie was out of the room, Alice tucked a stray curl behind my ear. She put a hand on my cheek and gave me an encouraging smile.

Charlie returned with a frothy white bouquet for her. The scent of roses and orange blossoms and freesia enveloped me in a soft mist.

Royal—the best musician in the family next to Edward—began playing the piano downstairs. Pachelbel's Canon. I began hyperventilating.

"Easy, kiddo," Charlie said. He turned to Alice nervously. "He looks a little sick. Do you think he's going to make it?"

His voice sounded far away. I couldn't feel my legs.

"He'd better."

Alice stood right in front of me, on her tiptoes to better stare me in the eye, and gripped my wrists in her hard hands.

"Focus, Beau. Edward is waiting for you down there."

I took a deep breath, willing myself into composure.

The music slowly morphed into a new song. Charlie nudged me. "Kiddo, we're up to bat."

"Beau?" Alice asked, still holding my gaze.

"Yes," I squeaked. "I can do this." I let her pull me from the room, with Charlie following close behind.

The music was louder in the hall. It floated up the stairs along with the fragrance of a million flowers. I concentrated on the idea of Edward waiting below to keep my feet moving forward.

The music was familiar, Wagner's traditional march surrounded by a flood of embellishments.

"It's my turn," Alice chimed. "Count to five and follow me. Don't forget to give your mother your arm when you get to the bottom." She began a slow, graceful dance down the staircase. I should have realized that having Alice as my only bridesmaid was a mistake. I would look that much more uncoordinated coming behind her.

A sudden fanfare trilled through the soaring music. I recognized my cue.

"Don't let me fall, Dad." I whispered. Charlie put his hand on my back and give it a quick pat.

One step at a time, I told myself as we began to descend to the slow tempo of the march. I didn't lift my eyes until my feet were safely on the flat ground, though I could hear the murmurs and rustling of the audience as I came into view. Blood flooded my cheeks at the sound; of course I could be counted on to be a blushing groom.

As soon as my feet were past the treacherous stairs, I automatically held out my arm for my mom. Hoping she was standing there. She hooked her arm through mine and gave it a squeeze. Then I finally lifted my eyes to look for Edward. For a brief second, I was distracted by the profusion of white blossoms that hung in garlands from everything in the room that wasn't alive, dripping with long lines of silver gossamer ribbons. But I tore my eyes from the bowery canopy and searched across the rows of satin-draped chairs—blushing more deeply as I took in the crowd of faces all focused on me—until I found him at last, standing before an arch overflowing with more flowers, more gossamer.

I was barely conscious that Carlisle stood by his side, and Angela's father behind them both. I didn't see my new family or any of the guests—they would have to wait until later.

All I really saw was Edward's face; my focus was entirely on him. His eyes were a buttery, burning gold; his perfect face was almost severe with the depth of his emotion. And then, as he met my blushing gaze, he broke into a breathtaking smile of exultation.

Suddenly, it was only the reminder of Charlie's hand on my back, and Renée's arm linked with mine that kept me from sprinting headlong down the aisle.

The march was too slow as I struggled to pace my steps to its rhythm. Mercifully, the aisle was relatively short. And then, at last, I was there. Edward held out his hand. Renée unlinked her arm from mine and put her hand on my back next to Charlie's. I reached out my own shaking hand and placed it in Edward's. And just like that, I was home.

Our vows were the simple, traditional words that had been spoken a million times, though never by a couple quite like us. We'd asked Mr. Weber to make only one small change. He obligingly traded the line "till death do us part" for the more appropriate "as long as we both shall live."

In that moment, as the minister said his part, my world, which had been upside down for so long now, seemed to settle into its proper position. I saw just how silly I'd been for fearing this—as if it were an unwanted birthday gift or an embarrassing exhibition, like the prom. I looked into Edward's shining, triumphant eyes and knew that I was winning, too. Because nothing else mattered but that I could stay with him

I didn't realize I was crying until it was time to say the binding words.

"I do," I managed to choke out in a nearly unintelligible whisper, blinking my eyes clear so I could see his face.

When it was his turn to speak, the words rang clear and victorious.

"I do," he vowed.

Mr. Weber declared us Mr. and Mr. Cullen, and then Edward's hands reached up to cradle my face, carefully, as if it were as delicate as the white petals swaying above our heads. I tried to comprehend, through the film of tears blinding me, the surreal fact that this amazing person was mine. His golden eyes looked as if they would have tears, too, if such a thing were not impossible. He bent his head toward mine, and I stretched up on the tips of my toes, throwing my arms around his neck.

He kissed me tenderly, adoringly; I forgot the crowd, the place, the time, the reason... only remembering that he loved me, that he wanted me, that I was his.

He began the kiss, but I had to end it; once I had run out of air, I gently pulled my self away from him and inhaled a deep, powerful breath. My first breath of our new life together. As he gazed down at me. On the surface his wide smile was loving and sweet. But underneath I could see the deep joy that echoed my own.

The crowd erupted into applause, and we turned our bodies to face our friends and family. But we couldn't quite look away from each other's faces to see them.

My mother's arms were the first to find me, her tear-streaked face the first thing I saw when I finally tore my eyes from Edward. And then I was moving through the crowd, passed from embrace to embrace, only vaguely aware of who held me, my attention centered on Edward's hand clutched tightly in my own. I did recognize the difference between the soft, warm hugs of my human friends and the gentle, cool embraces of my new family.

One scorching hug stood out from all the others—Seth Clearwater had braved the throng of vampires to stand in for my long-lost werewolf friend.