4 Reality Comes Knocking

...Sebastian's POV...

Kati is sleeping in this morning; she must be tired from Yesterday's driving still. I have to get a hold of my feelings; I cannot continue crying like this. It should be Kati that needs looking after at, not me. Has she already made peace with what could be her fate? I hope not because she is not going anywhere. She needs to know my true feelings for her.

It would have been so perfect if we found each other under normal circumstances if we had more time. Why does she have to suffer so much pain? Kati is the most loving and caring person I know. She will make sure that you have everything and that you okay before she even thinks of herself. Her laughter warms your heart; her smile is like sun rays on your face. When she touches you, your body tingles all over. Her hug is like getting lost in a bed of feathers. She is amazing.

I take a peek into her room to see if she is still sleeping. I walk outside and find a quiet place I can talk; I dial mom.

"Hi, Mom."

"Hi, my boy."

"How are you guys doing?"

"Yesterday was emotional. More for me than her. I cannot stop crying."

"Sebastian, you have to be stronger. She can't survive if you cannot keep it together."

"But I don't want to keep it together. I am about to lose the love of my life. I can't pretend that there might not be a happy end to this."

"Have you told her how you feel?"

"No, I tried, twice. I told her I love her. But she probably thinks it is just as a friend."

"Oh, Sebastian, I wish I was there. Where is she? I want to say hello to her."

"She is still sleeping."

"Sebastian, it's two in the afternoon. Have you checked on her?"

I drop my phone and race for the cabin. How can I be so stupid? I am so tied up in my own nonsense that I did not even notice? This is now the second time that I have not paid attention to her. But I will worry about all of this later; all I need to do is get to her as fast as possible.

The short distance to the cabin feels like forever; I have to stop myself from not tripping over my feet a couple of times. As I get to the porch, I storm through the front door and immediately go to her bedroom door. All the way, I shout her name at the top of my voice.

"KATI! KATI!"

She is not in her bed. As I stand there motionless, I think to myself, not again. Why is she not responding to me? My heart sinks into my feet; I am so scared to walk into the bathroom and find her lying on the floor. So I call out for her again.

"Kati, where are you? Kati, please, where are you?"

And just as I want to call for her again, she comes walking out of the bathroom. She does not seem her usual chirpy self. Something must be very wrong, it is written all over her face, and by her red eyes, I can see that she has been crying.

"Kati, what is wrong?"

She slowly lifts her hand and turns her palm to me. What I see shocks me right into my grave. I have seen this before; we have been here before. I was so hoping that we would not, but the reality is that we were going to have to; it was only a matter of time when. But it is unmistakable; it is there; it is blood.

"Kati, no!"

"Sebastian, please hold me. I am scared."

Things have just become real; our entire world has been thrown in a tumble. There is a raging machine full of emotions running through our minds, and none one of them are good at all. Reality has come to slap us in the face. What we know would happen has come; the only problem is that it is too soon.

I hold onto Kati for dear life; we sit in each other's arms; not a word is being said. The air feels thick and suffocating. I am too numb to cry. And then it finally kicks in, Kati crashes to the floor. But I am right there to catch her, and this is where I shall be for the next three months.

"Sebastian."

"Yes, Kati."

"Please, can you help me look for my father? I don't want any regrets."

"I will phone mom. For now, you need to rest."

"I am not going to sleep the last bit of time I have away."

"Then what about I make you a hot chocolate, some popcorn, and we can watch a girly movie."

"Is it not going to make you cry?"

"If you have not noticed, everything makes me cry these days."

"You such a big baby. A big cuddly teddybear baby."

A single tear rolls down Kati's face. I wipe it away and places a gentle kiss on her forehead. She looks deep into my eyes and takes my face in both of her hands. Then out of completely nowhere, she places her soft lips against mine and gives me a gentle kiss. Realizing what she has done, she pulls away.

"I am so sorry; I don't know what I was thinking."

My heart starts racing, and I feel tingles shoot to every corner of my body. I start to fumble at my words as I try to speak. My cheeks flush red, and my knees become week. She has set my whole body on fire, my brain has gone dead, and my body mush. I do not know what to do, should I kiss her back or run away as fast as I can. It's what I have wanted for so long, but now I cannot move. She must have made a mistake; we are just emotional; we are bound to do silly things. But I do wish that it was for real.

"I will go make the hot chocolate; you want to go pick the movie so long?"

"Yes, I can do that."

…Kati POV…

I do not leave the room straight away; I sit on the floor next to my bed and cry my heart out. My heart is breaking, this is happening so fast and so soon. I don't want to get sick, I don't want to feel pain, and most of all, I do not want Sebastian to suffer too. I saw the look in his eyes when he saw the blood on my hand. It was as if something in his eyes went black; I am almost sure that he has died inside. He is trying to tell me that everything will be okay, but the fact is that from here on, it won't.

But I always knew that I was going to leave my best friend Sebastian behind. What I did not know that I am in love with him, and I always have been. But it is too late; there is nothing I can do about it now.

"Sebs, why don't we pick something you want to watch for a change. Just no monster eating zombies."

"I will pick an action with a handsome guy in it."

"I already have a handsome guy here."

"So you think I am handsome?"

"I think you are amazing."

I snuggle into Sebastian's lap and slowly close my eyes. I wish that I had the guts to tell him how I feel. But it would be so unfair on him; he will only grieve much harder for me than he would now. I cannot hurt him any more than he is already hurting now. So before I drift off to sleep, I peek up at him, and I see that he is fast asleep.

"I love you, Sebastian."