12 Glutton Problems

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Early in the morning, there was an interesting discussion going on in the Saiki Household, and boy do I want to go hide in a deep hole because of it.

"We are sort of broke." Kuniharu spoke in an unusually heavy tone.

"Honey, what do you mean by 'We are sort of broke'?"

"Hehe... I might've spent too much money on the coffee jelly yesterday... sorry."

What a surprise. No, really. How does something like that happen?

"There is money left for all of our monthly groceries, but I'm afraid we cannot buy more coffee jelly or anything extra."

Kuniharu gave a sad sideways glance in my direction. There was an inkling of unwillingness in those eyes of his. However, they gained strength as he looked my way, allowing Kuniharu to speak again.

"But it'll be okay. Those limited-edition action figures that I have... if I sell them... should give us some money to buy another pack or two of coffee jellies..."

"...and Kusuo should have some pocket money as well..."

{Oi.}

...Don't tell me that you're still thinking about giving me coffee jellies in this situation?!

Hey, you should really be more worried about your money problem.

Don't sell anything for some snacks that you guys wouldn't even get to eat a tenth of. I appreciate the good care you've been giving, but I'm not a child, or your child, or even someone you know well. We literally just met yesterday.

I might not look like a 25-year-old otaku on the outside, but I definitely am on the inside. Also, when did coffee jelly become my one and only food source? I'm not allergic to anything even before my wishes.

'But holy crap. Did I really eat THAT much?'

"No, no. It's my fault that you spent so much money in the first place. I've been a selfish guest." I replied to Kuniharu before Saiki's glare turned into a death stare.

'I can think of ways to earn some on my own, so stop looking at me as if I was some parasite.'

"I can get money! Also, I can eat other things apart from coffee jelly. Things like rice, for example."

Rice wasn't really something that I ate a lot of in my previous world. Cup noodles were usually enough, and if I wanted something else then I'd go buy a small cheeseburger meal. Because you need side dishes with rice, then it is more costly to have that for dinner.

I can't cook as well. Everything just comes out weird. Hopefully, my body can get the Cooking Skill to fix that slight issue.

"Ms. Snow." With a tone that reminded me of a father disciplining their child, Kuniharu began a lecture.

"You see, on this planet, you need a job to get money. You need to work for a long time and work really hard to keep your job, even to the point of licking your own higher-up's shoes, just to show how much your job means to you.

I am telling you now, there are so many kinds of shoes out there...

Anyhow. To get a job, you need an education, also known as going to a school or somewhere similar."

Kuniharu continued.

"In school, you learn things that will let you do your job in the future, but it takes a really long time to learn those things.

And school is very hard! It's very hard and it takes a long time until you can get a job; a proper job that lets you buy all the coffee jelly you want." Kuniharu started tearing up. Maybe he remembered some painful memories?

Sounds just like school in my previous world.

"But it did let me meet Kurumi, my one and only, so all the shoe-licking and projects were more than worth it."

"Aww, I love you too honey~"

Never mind, Kuniharu was crying tears of joy. I forgot that he was weird, or maybe school during his time was easy. Or maybe school in a gag anime is easy. Why couldn't my life have been simpler like this? Life is cruel! Life is unfair!

At least I now know how this works. Good to know that the education process is similar even with the difference in universes. Didn't I say that I don't live off of coffee jellies though? And what is with the shoe-licking?

"Ehem! As of now, you don't have the kind of knowledge to work in a job, especially since you are an alien that just arrived two days ago. The things you know from your planet are mostly useless here."

That's fine, I can go and win the lottery. Lotteries do exist in the anime after all.

"So my suggestion is, how about going to school to learn about this world? We can enroll you to be in the same class as Kusuo so you wouldn't be alone." Kuniharu said so smugly, complete with a proud expression on his face.

"Good idea! Attending school will let Snow-chan adjust to this world much faster! Kuu-chan can even help her in her studies, and also introduce Snow-chan to his friends!"

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That is... the worst idea ever.

{"Hell no."}

""Why not?""

I would rather rob a bank. I mean, seriously?

Going to school? Seriously?

Most of the main cast are in there which might make school pretty interesting, but it doesn't change the fact that it is STILL school. There ain't no way that I'm going back to that place, gag anime or not.

Uggghhh...

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'System, help me out here!'

[Affirmative] (Gotchu bro. I don't wanna be used to answer your homework.)

[The host has multiple options available to them]

[Option1: Rob a bank.]

'...Save that as a last resort.'

[Duly noted.]

[Option 2: Rob the individual known as Saiko Metori, who according to the host's memory database, is an individual with seemingly limitless wealth]

'...Make this option my second-last resort.'

I remember this guy, and he is a pain in the ass. Saiko Metori is one of Saiki's classmates, and as said by the System is FILTHY RICH. The guy is probably equivalent to a billion banks.

Just how rich? Well, to impress Saiki and a few other members of the main cast, he investigated their hobbies and interests. With that information, he transformed his WHOLE MANSION into a THEME PARK with that information in mind.

Saiki likes sweets, so Saiko made a whole room literally made out of sweets. Cake roll sofas, tiramisu tables, a literal gigantic cupcake-looking thing, floors made out of different biscuits, walls constructed from more different kinds of biscuits...

In a word: Heaven.

In more words: Gingerbread House Interior Reveal.

Aren Kuboyashi, a part of the main cast and an ex-delinquent, likes customizing motorcycles, so Saiko had a garage full of all the expensive equipment to customize motorcycles, and of course, motorcycles themselves.

They must've been expensive motorcycles, but I'm not a motorcycle guy so I wouldn't know.

Kaidou Shun, another member of the main cast and a definite chuunibyou, got to see moving statues that activated once you walked past them. Similar to triggering a hidden boss fight. The guy is a massive weirdo. A funny weirdo.

The room that connected all of them was a game room full of arcade games, retro machines, a manga cafe, a drink bar, pinballs, darts, etc. Overall, there was a lot of cool stuff.

That's not the end, but then, listing them all would increase the word count by a thousand or two.

And then there was Nendo... that idiot.

We don't talk about Nendo.

In conclusion, robbing this guy is a very tempting solution. And I won't feel bad if I did! Saiko is an extremely narcissistic, arrogant, annoying young master character.

He has *some* good qualities, but I don't wanna see him as someone human right now. I don't wanna feel bad if I ever do rob him.

'Next option, System!'

[Option 3: Rob the Federal Reserve Bank of New Yo-]

'Ok, stop there. Skip all the robbing options.' I don't actually wanna rob someone.

[Affirmative]

[Option 420: Win the lottery through the use of Protogenoi-K to predict the winning lottery numbers]

'I was already planning on doing something similar. More options please.'

[Option 421: Creating precious metals through the utilization of Ultimate Dominion to be used for trade.]

'A risky venture. Next!'

[Option 422: Seducing the individual known as Saiko Met-]

'Stop there. Just stop.'

Lottery option it is. If that doesn't work, then... hehe. Nearest rich, overbearing person, I'm gonna come for you.

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"Let's go for the lottery or one of those scratch-it cards. " I suggested, hoping that they really won't insist on making me go to school. Not like they can force me anyway since I can escape to the other side of the world. Nevertheless, rejecting them is gonna make me feel bad. Just a little.

"As I've said, the money we have is just enough for groceries, nothing else." My suggestion was rejected. Money must really be tight to deny a tiny, little expenditure, but it wasn't like they knew about my capabilities. Rather than spending money on something that does not guarantee any sort of return, then they might as well use it for something else.

Still, I will manage somehow.

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Residential streets criss-cross throughout. Sturdy modern houses with a traditional flair for times far gone. People walking to and fro, their destination being none of my or my company's concern.

The houses continued passing by, like a film tape rolling on and on. Occasional tremors would make themselves known, accompanied by the slight swaying of the train carriage.

Standing makes the swaying more discernible, just like how I am now. Even though there were multiple seats available, staying on my feet allowed for a better view of the foreign country known as Japan.

Yes, currently inside a train is my figure clad in the same black and white clothing that I came with. The same shades, same hoodie, sweatpants, mask- there wasn't much variety in the clothes. Buying new ones might be a good idea, after getting the necessary funds available first.

'Naturally, food takes priority over everything else. It would be the first thing I would buy. There's no reason to buy clothes when my current ones are comfy enough. Who would I dress up for anyway?'

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"We're here! Let's go!"

It seemed as if Kuniharu was the tourist instead of me with all that energy he was releasing. We aren't even about to do anything special, just buy groceries with the money that they still have.

The plan is that, while the K-Couple went to buy groceries, Saiki would show me around the place. I agreed since grocery shopping sounds boring.

Departing from the train, a sea of people revealed itself to me. Passing all of them with some level of difficulty, we then continued walking to the downtown area where a diverse amount of shops and entertainment facilities gathered.

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[Ding!]

Disguise Skill |Rank: E --> C|

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Once we arrived, the K-Couple turned around and said,

"Ok, let's all meet here after an hour! Show Snow-chan around properly, alright?"

To which Saiki replied,

{Yeah, I know.}

Saiki didn't want to go at first, but Kurumi with just a few words promptly persuaded him. And also a drastic change in tone. And a change from her usual cheerful expression to a stern one.

Kurumi became super serious, something that wasn't in her character at all, so Saiki could only agree once he saw the change in her demeanor.

'I wouldn't have minded going on my own. I also wouldn't mind being accompanied by someone, so I'm not complaining.'

"Okay, we'll be careful."

Hearing those words, the K-couple seemed satisfied, and so they disappeared inside one of the shops.

Taking this chance, Saiki turned towards me and let out words of warning.

{Remember, we are different from everyone else on the planet. They are normal people that have no idea that psychic powers even exist and it should stay that way.}

"Yep, I haven't forgotten." Of course, refraining from using PSI while outside is an unspoken rule in the anime, but since I am supposed to be an alien that doesn't know much about this world then it would be best to just keep agreeing.

After a nod of confirmation, familiar spatial distortions in Saiki's immediate vicinity began emerging. For a brief moment, Saiki's figure began to warp due to the twisting of space, an effect of his use of Teleportation. Before I could stop him, he was gone.

Inside my head, however, Saiki's voice gave his reasoning through Telepathy, startling me for a moment.

{I'm still around to watch over you, but it would be troublesome if someone I knew saw us together.}

Even at a normal outing, Saiki takes precautions to not grab attention. I felt that the possibility of 'someone he knew' seeing us together is extremely low, but once you take 'Gag Physics' and 'Main Character Physics' into account, then Saiki might be onto something here.

"What about the part where you were gonna show me around?"

{You can do that on your own. Don't snitch on me.}

Fine, that's fine too. A bit disappointing that I couldn't have a 'local' point me to the fun places.

'I guess I'll just need to find them myself.'

Making sure that Saiki didn't run away to do his own thing, my eyes underneath my shades went cross-eyed. Restraining the power of Clairvoyance to show only Saiki's location proved less difficult than my initial assumptions, and so locating him on the rooftops took a few seconds at most. With his location in mind, I raised a thumbs-up in that direction.

My wandering gaze started to then take in everything within sight, trying to find something intriguing, somewhere exciting to explore.

Looking around, there was no specific place that attracted my attention, mainly because everything became a point of interest. In a country different from my own, there could only be new things to experience.

Simply standing around and staying in one place wouldn't result in anything, eliciting the footsteps I started to take.

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The sidewalks were relatively small, just the right size for a person and a half. The streets were also smaller in size, considering that they were the main ones.

Some streets would be so narrow that a sidewalk wouldn't even exist, making the asphalt road the only path to take. If a small car was to pass through, it would undoubtedly fill up the whole space and possibly hit an unsuspecting pedestrian.

If a small car were to pass through.

Cars themselves are rare to find on these streets. Most people either roamed about by walking or cycling around.

With my senses, it became easy to determine how far away the nearest car is, and through it, I confirmed that there really wasn't a lot of driving happening.

Maybe because it isn't during the busy hours yet, but the traffic situation remains intriguing.

To be honest, apart from looking for cars, there wasn't much that a person could do by simply walking around.

Comparing architectural styles and the area's overall layout to my hometown gets old real quick when you haven't been out much in your previous world. It also isn't all that interesting in the first place. A Japanese house is still a house, just made differently.

Perhaps counting the rubbish that I come across would make this stroll less boring?

Let's see...

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...Hmm...

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...I don't see any.

Where is the rubbish at? In fact, where are the trash cans?

'Looks like there really is something different between this world and my own. I mean, what kind of country has no cans or dumpsters around to put your trash in?

Also, how can there be no piece of garbage lying about when there are no bins around? Do people here have garbage-removal psychic powers? Does Saiki or maybe another psychic clean the trash lying around? Like a hidden Power Rangers group that turns into one big vacuum cleaner?'

Pfft.

Hehe, yeah right.

Psychics working in the shadows... cleaning up rubbish...

That's so ridiculous.

Admirable, yet... there's no way. This planet must have some good waste management. That's probably the reason why.

[Finding a piece of rubbish] became a little Side-Quest of mine. It is actually a Side-Quest Chain, where if I did find garbage, then the next step would be to dispose of it. Since there were no trash bins around to throw it in, then I would annihilate them. My reward is a pleasant increase in my self-worth.

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Turning a corner, another lengthy road sandwiched by houses and different buildings revealed itself, but something else grabbed my attention in the distance.

With my excellent 2000/20 vision, a blotch of green contrasted the modern colors coming from the man-made homes could be seen. Squinting slightly, the small blotch became clearer, showing a vibrant collection of foreign foliage.

Different from the vivid colors of the entertainment district, each individual leaf exuded vigorous vitality that can only be found within nature. Even from afar, it reminds me of the scenery back in my homeworld, when Protogenoi-K showed a place where man's influence over the world had yet to spread to.

Tired of simply wandering around and seeing the same city streets, I didn't bother walking the few hundred meters of distance, instead opting to teleport directly into the center of the lush greenery. With my authority over space, setting my destination to be a place devoid of people was easy, still heeding Saiki's earlier words.

The smell of earth and the fragrance of different flowers naturally became more vivid, but it wasn't overpowering in the slightest, more so pleasant. The inhabitants of the place, all the little animals and insects, did not escape my sharp senses. Many were just going about their day, doing all the things that animals do.

Aside from them, surprisingly, people were also present although far. I could hear their bustling and can tell that it lacked liveliness, replaced by a feeling of leisure.

Within the center of this forest, woodland,- whatever this place is, the dense foliage hindered my sight so I relied on my hearing to find my way. After isolating the hubbub of people from the fauna and flora around me, I began heading in their direction, curious to see what this new area had to offer.

Apart from hindering my sight, the vegetation also served as obstacles that prevented a straight path to my destination.

Detours are for normal people, and it's a good thing I wasn't normal.

Thick tendrils of psychic energy rushed ahead, cleaving their way through plants, flowers, and trees until they formed a rectangular path that cut deeply through the forest.

About as tall as the surrounding trees' crown and wide enough to fit three people walking side-by-side, the path is sufficiently comfortable to walk through.

The utilization of my powers to cut was to further my proficiency with 'sculpting' using PSI. Organic matter like plants and leaves were completely different materials to work with compared to rock.

They are more fragile and flexible, requiring adjustments to my previous skill use. As I was yet to get used to it, the path wasn't 'clean' looking enough, evidenced by a few leaves and branches sticking out that made its rectangular shape uneven.

'Still usable though.'

Jogging through the forest, less than a few seconds had passed when I reached the end but was still far from my goal. More psychic power escaped, extending the path, and again, and again.

It didn't take long to finally arrive.

[Restoration]

The path withdrew back as time reversed, leaving behind no trace of my landscaping. I then saw that where I stood was on elevated ground, and below me was where the noise originated from.

Different from the downtown area, nature remained dominant within the space below.

A public park nestled itself within this forest. Locals roamed on mossy stone paths that either stretched deeper into the woods or led outside of it. Monuments from a past era, such as lanterns made of crumbling stone, added to its enchanting atmosphere.

Many chose to stay within the midpoint, relaxing inside a well-kept park plaza where all the paths converged.

Groups and individuals lay on their picnic mats, children chased each other in a little playground, and old people performed Tai Chi to work those old bones.

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[Ding!]

[Tai Chi |Rank: D| Skill Successfully Obtained]

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'Thank you old grannies and old geezers, though I don't know how useful this skill will be.'

I looked somewhere else, attracted towards a gathering of people surrounding a band.

It seems that I had good timing since they were just about to perform.

A beat from the drummer, followed by the strumming of their guitarists. It was then...

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♪ From the way you carry yourself,

it's quite clear that you're not like other people. ♬

♫ You shyly smiled at me before quietly averting your gaze. ♪

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The vocals traveled the distance before I knew it. His delicate voice was playful, yet their unnaturally captivating quality managed to give me goosebumps.

Tone, volume, enunciation, pitch... they were the slightest bit imperfect yet incredibly consistent. It is only because of my keen senses that my untrained ears could pick out the tiny flaws, and even then, it remains pleasant to the ears.

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♬ I don't want to get hurt, but I want you to know more about me

Your youth isn't so cruel, so look me in the eyes. ♩

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With those lines, the song ended, and the applause commenced. The band truly did deserve it. Given a rating, I would give them a 9/10, especially with the lead singer carrying the team.

I must say, I didn't expect to hear Saiki K's first opening in a place like this.

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[Ding!]

[Drum Mastery |Rank: G| Skill Successfully Obtained]

Drum Mastery |Rank G --> C|

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[Guitar Mastery |Rank: G| Skill Successfully Obtained]

Guitar Mastery |Rank G --> C|

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[Glockenspiel Mastery |Rank: G| Skill Successfully Obtained]

Glockenspiel Mastery |Rank G --> D|

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[Voice Mastery |Rank: G| Skill Successfully Obtained]

Voice Mastery |Rank G --> B+|

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[Multiple skills detected]

[<Skill Synthesis> in progress...

- Drum Mastery

- Guitar Mastery

- Glockenspiel Mastery

...Completed]

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[Musical Mastery |Rank: C| Skill Successfully Obtained]

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'Thanks random band that played out of nowhere.'

I was applauding with the spectators as well, and because they gave me a bunch of new skills I clapped even harder.

Not too hard... or else.

"Thank you, everyone!"

While the band members were thanking the surrounding spectators, members of the audience approached them.

*Clink* *Clink*

Coins in varying colors were tossed into an open guitar case. It showed no signs of stopping, a layer of shiny coins having already settled inside with more still coming.

"Thank you very much!" Seeing the substantial amount of coins they earned, the smiles of the band members widened.

As the band and their audience interacted, my eyes couldn't help being attracted to the treasure trove- ehem, guitar case full of money. I then looked at the instruments and the people giving away coins.

...I just had a great idea.

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[A/N: I wrote up a chunky chapter so I split it into two. This is the first half. The second half will be published tomorrow or the day after when I'm done editing it. See ya.]