34 Realization

I'm in the bar, sitting on my knees on the bare floor in front of my girlfriend, who looks annoyed with me. To be fair, I did come back from my debut redo half naked and covered in glitter. Even after a full day of showering -not of daylight, but twenty-four hours, mind you!- I still have some of it in my hair. When I got out though Himi giggled at the sight and said now my hair sparkles as much as my happy smile, which immediately made an appearance to showcase the fact.

Of course, then came the story of how I ended up like that when the hero I was going after isn't too highly ranked. Which is how I've found myself in my current position, just moments after finishing said tale.

"So you're telling me," Himi starts with her hands on her hips while Shiggy cackles in the background, "that you didn't fight the five hundred and seventy something hero Red Gauntlet."

"Four thirty-six, actu-"

*Thunk*

I hold my head with my hands and obediently make sounds of pain without rising from my knees. Ignoring my specification, she continues. "And instead, you decided to glitter bomb not only the number three hero, but also yourself." She taps her foot on the ground with an irritated twist of her mouth. "Does that about sum it up?"

I tilt my head and put a finger on my chin in thought before eventually nodding. "Yeah, that sounds about right. Oh, and I'm pretty sure he was on a lunch break since he was carrying around a bucket of chicken."

She pauses and gently taps her chin lightly with the pan. "Wouldn't that be cannibalism?"

"That's what I said!" I exclaim, both of us ignoring Shiggy's comment on how drinking blood is cannibalism too.

She shakes her head. "So you somehow ended up fighting and escaping from Hawks… who was on a break?"

"Yep!" I nod happily, hoping that she'll let me up soon. I've been sitting here for a while…

Finally though, she sighs. "Your luck really sucks, you know that?" I just look at her hopefully, which elicits another sigh. "Fine. I'll let it go since meeting me probably used up most of your luck."

I nod seriously. "That makes perfect sense. You are one of the only good things that I've had in my life."

She raises an eyebrow. "Oh? What other ones are there?"

"Hmm." I think for a few seconds. "Well, before we met I think the only good thing was having Shoko in my life."

*Thunk*

This time the pan's strike pushes my head down a bit. Glancing up, I see a strange light in Himi's eyes. "Who's Shoko? Didn't you say I was your first girlfriend?"

"Yeah?" Where'd she get the idea that I dated Shoko…? "We were just friends. The only friends either of us had, actually. I was quirkless, she stood up for me. She didn't like a- *Thunk* bootlickers." I shrug. "Besides, even if I did like her like that, she was out of my league. Not to mention the daughter of Endeavor."

Her eyes narrow and the pan bounces in her grip before she nods and points it accusingly at me. "Didn't we work on your self-confidence issues? You got me, so no-one is out of your league! Not to mention we're both literally in our own League too!"

"It's my League." Shiggy mutters, continuing to be ignored. Before he can start scratching Kurogiri slides him a drink, which he drains in a single gulp before turning back to his game.

"I just wanted to make sure you didn't lie to me before." She explains, causing me to gasp.

"Himiko!" I raise my voice, watching her wince before hunching down a bit and holding the pan sheepishly between her hands. "We agreed to always be honest with each other, and you think I would have hid something from you anyways!? I thought you had more trust in me than that!"

"I do!" She shouts before mumbling. "It's just… you haven't mentioned this girl before. So I thought that if she was really important to you, you would have mentioned her before." She wiggles in place, her hands still fidgeting with the pan.

I blink at her. "I haven't mentioned her before? Are you sure?" She nods rapidly, a guilty look in her eyes. My brows furrow as I try to think, and… I think she's right. At least, I don't remember talking about her after my jump.

My jump… "Oh, so that's it." I say as realization strikes. At her questioning glance, I explain. But first… "I'm sorry for yelling, Himi. I didn't realize you didn't know about her." I sheepishly rub the back of my head. "I guess we both kind of overreacted, huh?"

She looks at me with big eyes. "So you're not mad?"

I chuckle, holding out my arms to her. "No Himi, I'm not mad. Apology hug and suck?"

Immediately her mood flips, from contrite and concerned to happy and excited. She leaps into my arms, wrapping her own around me while her fangs dig into my neck. While we make up, my mind turns back to my realization.

'I didn't say goodbye to her…'

At the time, I'd been planning for what I'd written in notebook thirteen to be the last thing I left behind in the world. Obviously, that's not the case. Now, initially after waking up, I'd planned to tell her about finding out about my quirk (leaving out how I found out about it by tying to commit suicide), but in my shocked realization that the Yagis truly don't care about me, it seems that I… forgot to talk to her.

Now, I know they know that I'm alive, Inko saw me after all. But that means that my last words to her were my suicide note. If anyone found it, that is. If it wasn't, then there wouldn't even have been that as a goodbye. Either way, not the best thing to leave her with.

I think at some point I realized that, and subconsciously avoided talking about her in an effort to avoid the guilt associated with it. But now that Himi has helped me face it…

I'm not sure, actually.

I'm not the same person she knew, far from it. I have a quirk. I've killed. Been killed. I have a girlfriend now. So much has changed, would she even want to continue being friends with me?

I don't know, but can I leave things as they are?

The sensation of Himi's fangs leaving my body puts my thoughts on hold, and she looks at me with her nose scrunched up a little. "Just do what you want."

"Huh?" I have no idea what she's talking about, and she sighs.

"I could literally taste your blood filling with worry and uncertainty. I don't know what it was about, but I can say that you should do the same thing as since we met." Her madness filled grin appears. "Whatever it is we want."

I can't help but grin back. "Yeah, you're right. I haven't let anything stop me from doing what I want so far, so why start now? Whatever happens, happens. But at least I'll be able to say that I didn't regret making the decision in the first place."

I nod, my decision made. I grab her hand, turning to Kurogiri with a determined expression on my face. "Kurogiri, could you drop the two of us off a bit away from Endeavor's house? I can give you the coordinates."

He nods, and I tell him where it is, letting him decide just how far or close he portals us. As we walk through, I ask her about something she mentioned a while ago. "While we wait to find an opportunity to talk to her, why don't you tell me about those thoughts you had on expanding our relationship."

`~`

As the portal closes behind the two, Shigaraki can't help but send a confused look at Kurogiri. "Doesn't she regularly stop him from cursing like he wants?"

Kurogiri shrugs. "Perhaps it is a relationship only situation. Neither of us are in one, so I do not think we would be able to understand."

Shigaraki just grunts, preparing his character for a boss battle.

`~`

While the two of us wait hidden on a rooftop a decent distance away from Shoko's house, Himi explains what she'd been thinking. Apparently she's ok with both of us having sex with other people so long as the other gets permission first. So unless the other person approves, then it's not happening.

And, for some reason, she said both of us can only sleep with women, no guys. At my raised eyebrow she transformed into me and said the only man she needs is me, causing my face to burst into steam.

I'd say she's the only girl I need, but she crossed her arms and made a buzzing sound, saying that I'm not allowed to pull an UNO reverse. According to her, since she brought it up first she makes the rules regarding it.

Like many things in my life, I just accepted it and moved on.

Anyways, we each are allowed to bring in one person to be a part of the committed relationship. Of course, previous approval is obvious. Along with meeting the person outside of the other's supervision so they get a more accurate idea of who they actually are. Neither of us are even allowed to kill potential relationship people without giving an actual valid reason as to do so!

It goes without saying that whoever we go after would at least need to be ok with blood and murder, if not outright liking it.

There's more things included in the discussion, but they're minor enough that we both agree that we can talk about them when the time comes. Meanwhile, Shoko has finally made an appearance. Though with something I don't expect.

She enters her family's car while holding a bouquet of green hydrangea flowers. The surprise puts me off balance, and it's only Himi tugging on my arm that gets me moving to follow the car.

Clearly, as villains, we couldn't just walk up to her house and knock on the door. So we need to follow her and drop in front of her when she's alone! Might she attack? Probably. But if it works, it works.

We follow the car with only a bit of a struggle, our training ensuring that we can match weak speed quirks. Though I personally think that Himi's quirk improves her physique somehow along with her instincts.

Eventually the car stops, and my eyebrows furrow. The building is… familiar. Though it's only after following Shoko to her destination that I realize why that is.

It's the building All Might brought me after I'd grabbed onto him.

The building he'd crushed my dream on.

The building where I started truly living my life.

And in the alley Shoko walks into remains the large blood splatter denoting where I'd landed.

I'm silent as I watch her approach a spot where a few objects already lay. A picture. A bouquet of half-dead flowers. And a bright yellow backpack.

After placing the flowers, she claps her hands twice and bows her head. She remains like that for several minutes, only stopping when her phone hasn't stopped going off the entire time. She answers it with an angry twist to her lips, but I'm too far away to hear anything, prompting me to edge closer in order to hear her speak.

I'm just in time for her final words to reach me. "-fine. I'll be there." She hangs up before looking down one last time. With a sigh, she picks up the old flowers and turns around.

The words she leaves behind, echoing in the alley echo through my ears as well. Utterly confused at how they could possibly be there.

'I'm sorry I wasn't there for you more often, Izuku. I hope, wherever you are now, you can finally smile about all the things that make you happy. I miss you.'

When Himi shakes my shoulder, asking me what's wrong, I can barely get my voice out, the bewildered words only just reaching her ears. "She thinks…I'm, dead?"