38 The feeling of worthlessness

"What happened here?" I voiced my thoughts as I looked around the place.

Goldy sighed. "You really are a dunce, aren't you?" He asked.

"What do you mean?" I asked, slightly confused about why he called me an idiot. It's not like I deny the fact that I'm an idiot, however I'm not getting the context of the sudden idiot call.

"Nothing. Let's just head to the vault and take the sacred pills." He spoke as he increased his pace. I don't know what ticked him off. Like, is he angry at me for something or is he bored?

"Sure…" I had no choice but to follow him at that point.

I wasn't kidding when I said it before, but the place is wiped out. Furthermore, I saw no one around, literally not a single soul. I couldn't even see an ant lurking around, which was weird.

"Ha… Remind me to teach you the basic stuff once we return." Goldy spoke. I wonder what made him speak like that…

Anyway, it was pretty easy to get to the secret vault since there weren't any to stop me. Well, not to be cocky or anything, I can maybe handle quite a few with me alone. But, I'd have got screwed today though since I'm banned from attacking or defending. By the way, I have no idea how effective Dragon's rage is. I'd like to know that someday.

It seems like a person gets one container worth of sacred pills to train. Since there's two people at my level, I could see two containers. Similar to the Raging Thunder sect, they didn't have any sort of protection for their sacred pills. Like these two containers are one of the most precious things in your entire sect, so at least try to put some effort into protecting it. Maybe they were so sure about their manpower that they didn't give the vault any mechanical security. Then, where the hell are they? I mean, I'm thankful that they aren't here, but I chose this place to check out my skills, you know? And if this goes on, maybe I should stop aiming at the minor sects and look for something challenging instead.

Anyway, to make it seem like we weren't there just for the pills, we stole some gold as well and decided to head back. At that moment, I suddenly felt weak and collapsed where I was standing. I was perplexed. Like, why am I down on the ground? Am I still weak? Am I still that useless after all the training I did? That's…. Sad….

"Ah, the more I see you, the more I get worried that you won't survive without me by the side. Anyhow, what you're sending right now… The weakness is due to Qi deficiency. Your body's depleted of the normal Qi, and it's currently using the reserved one. So, eat this." Goldy spoke as he tossed one Qi pill towards me.

For the past few minutes, my mental state was in a frenzy. I felt confusion, a tinge of fear, worthlessness and several other emotions in the same line. Why did my Qi reduce? Is my Qi leaking just like before? Then what was the point of fixing the Qi core? Maybe it would've been better if Zhangsun Shan was the one receiving it since it seems useless in me. Maybe I'm destined to be the random mob character. Hell… Why is this making me so sad? Unbeknownst to me, tears were already flowing from my eyes. I tried hard not to cry, I really did… Like I clenched my fists and bit my lips, but the tears wouldn't stop flowing. Why me? What did I do wrong this entire time?

Sensing my anguish, Goldy squatted down and patted my head for quite some time until my tears subsided a bit, and I was kinda feeling better. And that was when Goldy smacked my head, which made my mind shift from distress back to confusion. While I wailed and rubbed my head where he punched, he sighed. "You know why I hit you right now?" He asked.

"No…?" I simply didn't. My mind was a mess at that time, so I couldn't think of a reason why he would just beat me up.

Goldy couldn't help but sigh. I noticed this ever since we entered this sect base… He's been sighing for a long time now. Is he disappointed in me and my performance? Or…

"Ouch!" Before I could continue my train of thoughts, he placed a well-thought-out hit on the back of my head, which made me wail in pain yet again.

"Argh, why the hell are you like this, huh? How can a person be so negative?" He roared.

"Well, you're saying that because you haven't been on Earth yet. There are worse cases, dude." I replied.

"Great. At least you're coming back with a decent reply now. But still… This sort of negativity will damage your mind, you know that, right?" He asked.

"What's wrong with that? I'm useless any-" Goldy didn't allow me to finish my sentence this time as well, as he punched me for the third time that day.

"Stop, okay? Just stop! First of all, how dare you! How dare you think that your Qi core isn't fixed yet? Are you making fun of me with that statement? Even if you are not, I feel you are doing so. Qi leakage… Bullshit! Making fun of my fixing skills like that. Don't you dare do that ever again." His face was all red with rage when he said that. I guess I hurt his feelings as well when I thought those things.

"I'm sorry. But, then why did my-" Yet again, Goldy didn't give me a chance to finish my question. It seemed like he knew my questions even when I'm actually not thinking about it before I spoke.

"Your Qi didn't reduce because of leakage or some lame shite like that. Did you just forget that you were using Dragon's rage this entire time? How stupid can you be? Of course, you're gonna collapse if you don't take the Qi pills because the skill slurps on it. That's why I kept two pills beforehand, because I knew this was gonna happen at one point or the other. However, I expected it to drain before entering the base. But, you wanted to move a bit slow and conserve your Qi and that's why it took longer than expected.

"Ha…" I felt kinda stupid all of a sudden. What was I even thinking? How did I forget that I had Dragon's rage on the entire time? Well, I couldn't actually see the aura most of the time, so maybe that was the reason. Anyway, I kinda overreacted before. So, I got up and thought rationally. "Well, why did I even use it then? There's no one here anyway. I should've just turned it off and took the containers. I feel like I simply wasted too much Qi." I replied to which Goldy shook his head in disappointment.

"Okay, what was our mission doing this, huh? I asked you to keep the Dragon's rage all the time because I wanted you to understand the feeling. I wanted you to experience it so that you can turn it on and off whenever you want. And if you remember, unlike other skills, this one doesn't need equipment to level up, but the basic understanding. If you are able to turn it on and off whenever you want, it will automatically level up. I expected you to level up at least once during this raid, get it? Although you didn't do that, you at least kept the people on bay." He replied with a bright smile on his face.

"People?" I asked. People were here? When did that happen?

"Ha… I gotta apologize for not informing this earlier. I know you didn't sense it because you don't have the power to do so, but do you know that there's at least a hundred people in this sect base as of right now?" He asked, to which I stood there with my mouth open. He laughed. "I know you're not aware of that. So, why don't turn off the Dragon's rage and see it for yourself?" He asked.

"Hmm, how do I turn it off though?" I asked back.

"Well, the same way as you turned it on. The Dragon's rage works on the basis of your feelings. It's such a good skill if you can keep your emotions in check. Anyway, do something like this. Believe that you no longer are the dragon, but a mere human. Thank the dragon for its services and say that you no longer need its service and will call upon it later." Goldy gave out a bizarre explanation. I couldn't make sense of it, but decided to do it anyway. I closed my eyes and there I saw the jade dragon. It was moving, so I was sure that it was my imagination. I thanked the dragon for its services and said that I wanted to change back into a human. Upon hearing this, the dragon shook his head in agreement and headed away from me. Once I opened my eyes, I could no longer sense the aura that previously engulfed me. It actually worked!

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