『Dante's Inferno』

What would be considered Hell?

Hardship? Suffering? A life without love? A life where one would stay a virgin until they die?

Most people brush off not feeling loved or desired for your whole life as if it were a small matter, but really, there is nothing worse for anyone's ego.

Ultimately, the individual themselves stops trying to improve, drowned in the negativity that the people around them have unknowingly caused by their indifference.

Gladly, it wasn't his case.

Well, at least not anymore.

He was once loved by a woman who wasn't his mother, but people and things changed as time passed.

It's not that he was ugly or anything. In fact, he was pretty nice to look at. However, given his job and work ethic, the only ladies here for him were the ones interested in his bank account, not in his handsome face. Not many people would risk rubbing shoulders with a guy working in organized crime.

And, well, once you're in this business, getting out is like trying to unhook an 8-year-old from a phone screen.

Once you work for them, there's no turning back, whether you like it or not.

However, he tried just that: turn back and leave.

It didn't go as planned.

Firing rounds at his former boss, he killed him on the spot, taking with him three more people before getting gunned down by a bunch of misfits who were working for them. Logically speaking, they probably robbed everything that lied around after threatening everyone around there now that the boss finally got his life subscription canceled.

"Ending things this way... makes me want to barf."

Peering down at the icy floor, eyebrows furrowed and warming his hands by breathing on them, he walked towards a shadow inviting him to come along.

An endless ice-covered expanse proved to be the only thing he was blessed with after death. The blizzard that swept around here was blistering and stinging, deafening to the point of constant tinnitus and rendering sleeping nearly impossible.

Not even a minute ago, his head protruded from a large block of ice, bite-frosting his ethereal body for a supposed eternity. Many other people's heads sprouted from the ice like tree shoots, but their eyes lost their sanity long ago, shattered.

Not his.

The hellfire melted the ice, leaving him just enough space to fracture it and return to his feet. Despite the pain and bite-frosts, he pushed on toward the shadow, the flames. The only light shining on this icy plain.

A charming, almost femboy-like fallen angel stood there, his large black wings stirring the hot air of hellfire in his direction.

"What a nice surprise to see you that soon, human!~★"

"I can't say the same."

"Hostility won't solve anything. I already told you that, haven't I?~★ I am merely here to help, really.~"

"Yeah, sure, of course."

"So, what was dying like?~★"

"Very fun, as you can imagine. Any other questions?"

"Oh my, oh my!~ Such enmity!" The Devil sneered with a smile, winking at him. "What's the issue, little one? Are you afraid, maybe?"

"..."

"Cat got your tongue?"

"I'm just letting you blab."

"Alright, if you're that worked up, I'll be brief.~ As a token of my thanks for all this terrible action you've committed, I offer you some wishes. As much as you want."

"As much wishes... What's the catch?"

"There is none.~ You just have to answer riddles correctly in a one-minute time frame. One good answer equals one wish. Until you fail.~★"

"What if I answer incorrectly from the get-go? If that happens, I won't have any wish. God knows what will happen to me."

"Eh.~ Don't think about that. You were the one who wanted this to be brief, right?~"

"You're using me as a guinea pig, right?"

Widening his eyes, the Devil grinned before sneering again, his eyes turning black and teeth pointy. A few eyes popped everywhere around his body, changing his whole form but still keeping his face intact.

"Dirty dog.~ Let's start riddling." Lucifer said, using a distorted voice, the hellfire getting fiercer with each passing second. "Here we go. The man who invented it doesn't want it for himself. The man who buys it doesn't buy it for himself. And, the man who needs it doesn't know he needs it. What is it?"

"..."

That one tough nut to crack when asked under time pressure. So... the dude who invented it doesn't want it… The guy who buys it isn't picking it for him… An engagement ring?

Nah… The man who needs it doesn't know he needs it. What could it be…? If the dude doesn't know he needs it, he's utterly unaware. Is the dude sleeping? Could it be a pillow? No, a hospital bed? No…

"Only ten seconds remaining.~★"

"A coffin."

"..."

Was he wrong? No, he was pretty sure that was the only valid answer... that said, with only a minute to spare, he couldn't help panicking as he racked his brains.

"...Tsk! Correct, dirty dog. Fucking shit..."

"That's one wish, isn't it?"

"Mhm..."

"I wish for a funnier and more entertaining new life away from this world, into the omniverse, with anime and all that stuff. Worlds with goth girls would be appreciated."

"That's oddly specific."

"You couldn't understand me even if I would explain."

"...Is that all?"

"For now."

"Don't be too cocky, human. I'll find harder riddles."

"I'm quite sure you started with the hardest one you had."

"...Shut your puny mouth and listen carefully. What's black when you get it, red when you use it, and white when you're all through with it?"

Dante almost answered instantly: steel. Yet, he refused to jump the gun. It didn't seem like a good move.

Black, red, then white.

What the heck? Could it be something related to space? Like a black hole? It starts black, but then, because of the accretion disk, it turns red, then white.

That said, it wouldn't explain why it would turn white only when you would be all through with it, as a black hole wouldn't turn white once it dies.

Black… then turn red… white… Something that burns. Ashes?

"Charcoal."

"...Huh?"

"The answer is charcoal."

"This is stupid."

"You're the one who brought me here, so don't be a sore loser and give me that wish."

"...I am all ears, foolish human."

"Well, If I wanna be childish, it's now or never," Dante whispered. "I want an interactive power tied to love and lust, like in a video game. Something that would go well with this new, funnier life."

"Very well."

Hearing these words, he felt a wave of energy go through his body for a second as if it had melted into him. A burning feeling. It was a comfy yet bizarre sensation. He knew his wish had just been granted, but something had just changed in him.

But what?

"When you need me, you throw me away. When you don't need me, you bring me back. What am I?"

"Right off the bat," Dante grumbled. "You don't even wait for me to be ready."

"What's the problem?~★ To occupied thinking? Or maybe you're worried about losing the next round? Who kn-"

"Shut it, you're willingly wasting my time. I'm sure you already started the countdown without telling me."

"Oh?~★ You think? In that case, you're almost losi-"

"Well, at first, I thought the answer to the riddle was my ex, but I'm quite sure the real answer is an anchor."

"What the..."

"So, for my next wish I-"

"Take away the whole, and some remain. What is it?"

"Eh... A fourth one..."

"What's your answer?"

"..."

"Tick-tock, tick-tock-"

"Space. If you take all of it, there will still be a space where the former space stood."

"..."

"So?"

"FALSE! Haha! It was the word: wholesome! Got 'em!~★"

"That was the dumbest riddle yet..."

"And you fucked up good, dipshit!~ Hahaha!~"

Trying to ignore the Devil's annoying laugh, Dante frowned, closed his eyelids, and put his hand on his chin, thinking about his next step.

"So, for my third wish."

"Yes, yes, of course, your third wish."

"I want a weapon that reflects who I am and that can slay spirits and everything in between."

"Aren't you a needy one?"

"It's just another wish."

Appearing in Dante's hand, two tomahawks with feathers on the back of the handle shone with a dim, dark red light. Judging by the white rays escaping from the cutting edges, it wasn't only demonic energy but also divine.

With a grin, the Devil sneered again, harnessing hellfire in his hand to throw flame onto Dante's two throwing weapons.

"Here you g-"

Cutting off Lucifer's speech, one of the tomahawks headed toward his skull at high speed, splitting it in half.

"Eh...?"

Still conscious, the second war-axe came for his neck, but he slowed it down by putting one of his wings in the way; however, it just got cut off as the tomahawk finally lodged a few centimeters into his throat.

Wide-eyed and baffled, the Devil tried harnessing the power of hellfire but got stopped when Dante jumped at him, taking the same tomahawk as before to strike a second blow to his throat and try to decapitate him.

"You fucking sack of flesh!"

"God... or ROB is around... You have no power here."

"Why...!? Even when I grant your stupid wishes! Human as ungrateful as ever...!"

"You're the Great Deceiver, I'm not buying your shit. The gift you gave me will get poisonous with time if I let you live, and next to that... Humanity doesn't need you. We kill each other without anyone's help. Stop making things even worse by your mere presence. Humanity should be able to do good or bad stuff on their own. You're a nuisance, and you're useless. You should have killed yourself long ago."

"God is around...? God is dead. God remains dead. And YOU all have killed him."

"...What the fuck are you talking about? When I mentioned God earlier, your reaction proved me right." Dante asked, raising an eyebrow. "God is whatever you want it to be. Love, hope, a woman, an astronaut, whatever. Stop lying. You can't kill what is... sempiternal."

"By giving you all free will, he has given you a part of himself in each of you... That's why humanity needs to GET FUCKING EXTERMINAT-"

As his head fell off from his body, Lucifer's shrieks stopped dead in their tracks as his demonic ethereal body faded away like a dying firefly.

Killing him was surprisingly easy... These tomahawks sure were efficient. Would they be that great in other worlds? It was another matter, though.

"So much for a great deceiver."

At least now, humanity in his former world was free of Lucifer's ugly clutch. Maybe even elsewhere, who knows... He felt kinda dumb feeling that badass about it, but hey, minus one evil entity.

"I guess I've done my part here... I wasn't a believer till a few days ago, but..."

But he couldn't deny what he had in front of him. Hell, Lucifer, a divine presence, something changing inside him. He couldn't deny what he could see and feel.

Or could he?

Before long, everything around him shifted: color, form, sound, while his vision blurred like he was on an acid trip.

The final floor of hell became emptier and emptier, the wind vanishing before reality itself glitched, teleporting him to a new place altogether.

Feeling his body becoming hotter, he looked at his arms as they seemed to burn from the inside, releasing steam. His skin seemed to turn a bit more pale, too...

"Good thing I killed him... Who knows how poisoned those gifts would have been..."

The next instant, he fell on his butt into a sizeable purplish-red room with hundreds of doors all around, some suspended in mid-air by stairs leading up to it.

The place was suspended in the void, or at least, it seemed like it. The walls were made of nothing he knew; it almost seemed to be made of living dark magma. Apart from that, nothing else stood in this room.

『You've been granted one universal key for slaying: Lucifer, the Light Bringer.』

In front of him, a game-like window floated. A messaging box writing directly to him.

"My... interactive power, I guess."

『This master key lets you open one door of your liking. Each door leads to one world of the omniverse. It can only be used once. Choose wisely.』

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So, how is the first chapter? I hope it was nice enough. It's the first "fun" story I've written, not only for myself but also for others, so I'm a bit doubtful about my skills.

Anyway, thanks for your time!