Bloodlust

They gathered the corpses onto a pile, a short walk into the forest. Their weapons were gathered and stored with a few other miscellaneous items the bandits had on them.

Her mother said she could track the bandit's path back to their base, and she took off after telling the guards to dispose of the bodies. The caravan leader stayed by Sana's side the entire time until her mother came back.

Sana had cleaned her face with a rag and a bowl of water. As she was cleaning her blade, the guards that crossed her path nodded at her, sometimes even with a smile. Despite those gestures technically being less respectful than the bows they did, they seemed friendlier than before, as if she proved her competency by killing one of the bandits. She wasn't a liability to be protected anymore.

She looked curiously at the pile of bodies. The leader of the caravan must have seen her look because he spoke up, "We'll leave them to the carrion eaters. There are plenty of animals and even spirit beasts that eat corpses. It wouldn't surprise me that on the way back, all the corpses will be gone. They hardly deserve a burial."

Even in the cities, burials were reserved for Martial Squires and upward, as well as important officials. The lack of space inside the city and the inability to protect the graves outside made that the only possible compromise. Most corpses were burned to ashes, and the ashes were gathered in ceramic containers to be kept by the family of the deceased.

All the surrounding guards flinched when her mother came soundlessly out of the forest. She quickly stepped up to the leader and reported, "The camp was empty. Looks like they took all of the men on the ambush." With that, she scoffed and continued, "If you can even call it that. Those guys were total amateurs, or at least their leader was. I found two other corpses near the camp, stabbed through the heart from behind. Probably some power play from the guy leading them this time."

They packed up, and, despite the delay, they continued toward the river. After the fight, the journey was more tiring than usual, but she pulled through to the end.

The road swerved to the left and started going parallel to a river flowing through the forest. They stopped a bit further along, close to the road, and set up camp.

Strangely, this time her mother asked others to set up their tent and pulled Sana aside. She asked Sana to follow her to the river to clean up their blood smeared armour. They walked quite a while along the road until they couldn't even hear the campsite and her mother pulled her aside to sit on the riverside.

She showed Sana how to clean the dried blood from the leather best. They worked in silence for a while until Aria spoke up, "So, how was your first real fight against another person? More exciting than fighting against the beasts before, right?" she asked casually, not looking up from her work.

Sana answered with a blush, "My heart still won't calm down just thinking about it. It just felt so... lively. And my mind was so calm during it, like when I'm meditating only way better. Is every fight like that?" she asked with a grin.

But her mother simply sat there, not speaking for a while, just watching the river with an expressionless face. Sana got increasingly worried and bit her lip. Why wasn't her mother saying anything?

Eventually, her mother sighed and shook her head. She scooted right next to her and embraced her with her left arm. "I'd hoped you wouldn't be affected thanks to your father, but it seems you're even worse off than me. Or 'better' as 'he' would put it," she added with a disdainful scoff.

She turned her head down to her daughter and stared directly into her eyes. "These feelings you have, other people don't have them, or at least have them to a much lesser degree. Most people don't thrive on the chaos of battle, especially when your life is on the line. But, if you're any way like me, the more dangerous the fight, the faster your heart will beat in excitement."

Seeing the concerned look on Sana's face, she put her hand on her cheek and calmly smiled down at her, "Don't worry, you've done nothing wrong. Like I said, even I have these feelings. My father, your grandfather, taught me about them when I was little. From what he told me, this unnatural 'Bloodlust', as he called it, runs in our family longer than anyone can remember. His father and grandmother had it, as did their ancestors. He said it either drives us to greatness or to our death.

"But that isn't the bad part. The part you should keep to yourself... What did you feel when you killed that bandit?" she asked suddenly.

Sana had to think back and carefully answered, "Nothing, really. When he attacked me I disabled his mode of attack as you said I should and then killed him as quickly as possible. After that he wasn't important anymore, so I watched out for other attackers." She tried to put her thought process to words as best as possible. She frowned, trying to see the problem in them.

"See, you don't even notice the problem. Normally, people have a lot more difficulty killing another human, both emotionally and mentally. But you simply brushed it off, not even having a second thought. If people knew about your thoughts, they'd suspect you of being a Cold One. You know about them, right?" Aria asked.

"Yes, they don't care about anyone but themselves. Lord Father said they're dangerous but useful." Sana's answer caused her mother to chuckle.

"Yes, they can certainly be useful, but remember you can't trust them, I know that from experience. And even though we can care about them, normal humans are naturally weary of people who can disregard their lives.

"So, what I want to say is that what you're feeling is fine, expected even, but you need to be careful who you show that side of yourself to." Aria finished with a kiss on her forehead. "Think it over for a bit, and we can talk about it more tomorrow on the road."

Sana was in a daze, thinking about that revelation. Even the little bit about her grandfather was incredible, considering her mother never talked about her side of the family. But mostly, she thought about her 'Bloodlust' and what it meant for her future. What would Kenta think of her?