Situation not controlled

"Don't..."

"This would give you pleasure.."

"No..."

Lights are off. I'm inside a room that I am not familiar with. Alone with a guy whom I knew for more than a week. I... I wanted to leave... but I want to know how it feels like to make love. I gave in to this guy whom I don't really know. I don't know what would happen next. Does he know my full name tho? Yes he's my boyfriend but does he know anything about me? After what we have done, I wore my clothes again. Like WTF. What is there blood all over the bed? I was embarassed by then so I removed the sheets and turned to him.

"what just have happened?"

"Baby, we did it. Thank you for giving me yor virginity.."

Didn't think it through. No! I shouldn't have. I promised myself to give that gift to my future husband for our weddng day. I don't know.if this guy is a jerk. No... This is just a dream.. this is right? I... can't do... this, right? What would I do?... I felt his hands all over me while I am sitting at the edge of the bed.

"don't worry. I'll marry you... I promise.."

"promise?"

"yes, I will."

I took his words. embraced it. I'm engaged... exceot my parents nor anyone else doesn't know anything about us yet.. I got home late. My mom scolded me for being late. Like WTF. I'm 20 but mh mom treats me like I'm 14 years old. I took a bath and wash my underwear.. it's covered with blood... my leg hurts... I don't want to pee. It stings... I texted him that I got home.

"hey, I just got home. My mom scolded me for getting home late.."

the next day..

"hey, why aren't you replyng to my messages?"

I started to cry.. it's new years eve. Send messages to his facebook but still, no reply ever since.. I knew it. I am guallible. As always.. I his facebook active 5 mins ago but he doesn't care at all. I'm scared.. What if he would just leave me? What if he would just want to get my virginity and leave me? I message him once again..

" I thought you're the one.. I thought you wanted to marry me.. you got my virginity then what? that's it? don't be a jerk.."

the next day, I've got a reply..

"I'm so sorry. I haven't got to open my facebook since then. I would marr you.."

Again. I trusted him with that. This goes on for months. it's like Igot addicted to the pleasure that he's giving me. I am taking pills for me not to get pregnant. But I was not sure if I am taking it everyday. I was in my 3rd class and then..

"Ms. Adams! This is not your bedroom. Your parents are not paying this school for us to let you just sleep in class."

No... what? I fell asleep? how come? never have I done that. I love learning.. what's happening to me? After that class, I go to my boyfriend's house..

"I fell asleep while in class."

"you might be exhausted with you projects.."

"well, I'm not like that.."

"don't be upset. I'll cook you something then let's eat together."

I took my iPad and play my favorite game. While I was playing, I smelled my boyfriend's dish.. it gives me an odd feeling like I hate that smell and it gives me nausea. I asked him what's he cooking..

"babe, what are you cooking there?"

"your favorite.. pasta."

"yuck. I hate the smell. can you just please stop?"

"babe, are you okay? are you sick or something?"

"no, I'm fine. it's just the smell. it makes me want to vomit."

This is so sudden.. I took my iPad again and saw the date..

"my god! what date is today? fuck fuck fuck! this is updated right?"

"yes babe.. why? what's the matter?"

"I haven't got my period yet..."

"babe??? are you sure?"

"Yes! of course. this is my body. know if this is right or wrong."

"is it time?"

"yes.."

He got out of the door and got back to me after 15 mins.

"you should take one now."

"I will...."

I got into the restroom. took it and........