1 Birthday Wish

It was a normal Monday, well at least for everyone else...

I have been waiting for this very day to arrive - the 12th of October - my birthday. Although I had other plans than to celebrate.

You see I'm just an ordinary girl with an ordinary look and an ordinary life, or that's just what people see. Deep down I'm actually very different and by that I mean I've had a tough life - you know the constant bullying, the constant abuse from my parents, the constant people telling me to kill myself and the constant deep cuts on my arms and legs that only multiplied day by day.

But enough talking about my problems I have somewhere to be right now.

As I walk to school my head is filled with thoughts like: 'I can't believe this', 'Is this actually going to happen' but before I could overthink this and turn back I hear an all too familiar voice call my name, ''Michelle!'', the voice said and a wave of fear washed over me. It was Jasmine. She hated me but I never knew why. Either way I knew what was coming next, she would beat me up then leave acting like nothing happened, because for the last two years this has become an ongoing cycle.

Might as well just get it over with. Right?

My knees were bruised and I had a black eye by the time she was done with me, but I covered it all up and acted like nothing happened. I mean if she can do it so can I. Leaving all that behind I made my way to class and sat down in my usual seat next to the window - pretty cliché right...?

The rest of the day went by smoothly and eventually lunch rolled around.

I went to the roof where I usually sat and just admired the beautiful clear sky in front of me. The clouds flew past slowly as the blinding sun shone perfectly against the full oak trees on the ground. The wind blew my silky black strands of hair and at that moment I felt complete, like everything I ever needed was somehow here.

The bell rung snapping me out of my trance and telling me that I needed to got to my last classes for the day. I wish I could've stayed up there longer.

This whole day went by quickly which just meant that I could do what I planned as soon as possible. So as I slowly walked up the old cracked stairs that led up to the roof I kept an eye out, just in case someone followed me here. To my surprise no one did.

I finally made it up there and the view breath-taking but that's not why I'm here, so I tried to ignore it by walking toward the edge.

I start taking off my red cardigan and place it on the side of a bench next to me while also untying my shoes and placing them on top. After that I grabbed my bag and pulled out a professional-looking envelope with a message inside it, 'Michelle' was neatly written on the beige paper. While I had my bag out I pulled out the other thing I knew I needed, that being a sharp kitchen knife that once belonged to my mother.

Silence. Silence was cutting the air almost as hard as the shiny blade on my pale wrist. One. Drops of crimson liquid began pouring down, dripping on the concrete bellow me. Two. The sun was shinning brightly casting as eerie shadow of my bony body. Three. The icy wind blowing my hair back slowly, as I match the same pattern on my opposite arm. Still feeling the same emptiness.

I got up on the bench and looked down at the ground, preparing myself for whatever my next actions were going to be. I took a deep breath and a step forward letting my body fall into the air and then plunge down toward the concrete ground.

I knew no one would care if I was gone or not so I just closed my eyes and relaxed letting gravity do its job.

Then all of a sudden everything went black and I felt nothing...