1 Birthday Present

Granting wishes is easy. A flick of the wrist, an age-old incantation, and then the flesh of the wish itself. He did it better than anyone of his generation. The most promising caster of his age was what they used to call him. But despite his grandiose skills belonging to his essential nature, there was one wish that he couldn't bring himself to grant.

"Sam, are you listening?" Autumn asked, arms folded, over his shoulder.

"I am listening," he answered, eyes skimming over the papers he had in his hands. "Spider lilies, right?"

"You always say that," she grumbled, mouth forming a pout. "You never give me what I want for my birthday. It's been seven years since you last brought me my favorite flowers!"

"I've told you, I'd give you exactly what you're asking for if I remember before buying anything else."

"You're so full of excuses. Why don't you use your phone memo or what. And aren't you a caster? Aren't casters supposed to grant wishes they hear? I mean, is my wish not loud enough for you? How about this?" She leaned forward to his ear. "Is this okay? I WANT RED SPIDER LILIES FOR MY BIRTHDAY!"

Sam chuckled. "Okay, okay. I'll use my phone. For now I have an interview to pass. So please, let me prepare for now?"

Autumn pouted again. But when he looked at her from below his eyelash, a sensation of fondness spilled in her chest. "I'll make you coffee."

His eyes followed her retreating back, the weight of unsettlement dropping at the pit of his stomach. Every year, her birthday was a reminder. Tomorrow, he'd have to do it again.

There was a pout on her face when he handed the flowers.

"I knew this would happen." She gingerly took the present. Purple hyacinth, geranium, arbutus, and primrose. Not even relatively close to red spider lilies.

"They ran out of stock."

She stayed silent for a while. Then after a sigh, she looked at him again and smiled. "Oh well, I still have more birthdays to come."

They ate dinner together. Easy banter. Inquiry about the job interview. Plans for tomorrow. Plans for the future. It was nice. It was nice to be with the person you love.

When Autumn fell asleep, Sam snuck out of the house and went to the place he had visited every year on this very day for the last seven years.

He walked the familiar paths of the cemetery. Stopped at the familiar headstone, already flooded with flowers and candles. And yet not one of them was her favorite.

He closed his eyes and listened to the wind. A flick of the wrist, an age-old incantation. He felt magic surging in his bloodstream.

He didn't do this often anymore. Just once every year. But the sensation brought the same feelings of home and hurt.

When he opened his eyes, there was a bouquet of red spider lilies in his hand.

Carefully, he laid down the flowers on the gravestone of his beloved.

"Happy birthday, Autumn."

This was the only way for him to repent for his cowardice and sins.

He never had the heart to tell her she was dead. Never had the courage to rise above his shame and tell her the truth. That it was him who brought her back from the afterlife.

Purple hyacinth...

Geranium...

Arbutus...

Primrose.

𝘗𝘭𝘦𝘢𝘴𝘦 𝘧𝘰𝘳𝘨𝘪𝘷𝘦 𝘮𝘺 𝘧𝘰𝘰𝘭𝘪𝘴𝘩𝘯𝘦𝘴𝘴. 𝘉𝘶𝘵 𝘺𝘰𝘶'𝘳𝘦 𝘵𝘩𝘦 𝘰𝘯𝘭𝘺 𝘰𝘯𝘦 𝘐 𝘭𝘰𝘷𝘦. 𝘐 𝘤𝘢𝘯'𝘵 𝘭𝘪𝘷𝘦 𝘸𝘪𝘵𝘩𝘰𝘶𝘵 𝘺𝘰𝘶.

"I'm sorry." He didn't cry when he said the words this time. Unlike the first time he had done it. He had crumbled to his feet. Broke down with sobs that threatened to break the heart of any person who could hear him.

Was it selfish? Hers was the only wish he had refused to grant. Even if it was so easy a task. A flick of the hand, the age-old words...

It was so easy but it would break him. Because if he gave her the flowers, he'd lose her forever this time.

Red spider lilies.

𝘎𝘰𝘰𝘥𝘣𝘺𝘦.

In the bell tower, the clock chimed for midnight. And a year from now, he'd still find himself walking the familiar pathway leading towards the familiar gravestone where he'd lay down a bouquet of crimson spider lilies by a flick of the hand and age-old words.

Flowers he'd never be brave enough to give.