1 Billy the King

'Now, William,' said Billy King's great-uncle, 'you are old enough to earn your own living, so I shall find you a nice situation in an office, and you will not return to school.'

The blood of Billy King ran cold in his veins. He looked out over the brown lived, and the tears came into his eyes; for, though his uncle thought he the idea of having to earn it in an office, where he would never do wire blinds into Claremont Square, Pentonville, which was where his uncle was old enough to earn his own living, he was still young enough to hate anything, or make anything, or see anything, but only add up dull figures from year's end to year's end.

'I don't care,' said Billy to himself. 'I'll run away and get a situation on my own something interesting. I wonder if I could learn how to be a pirate captain or a highwayman?'

He ran till he was out of breath and then he walked, and he walked till he was out of patience, and then heran again, and between walking and shop there were big painted letters saying, 'Registry office for all sorts of running he came at last plump up to the door of a shop. And over the persons out of employment.'

'I'm out of employment, anyway,' said he. The window of the shop had big green-baize-shutter sort of things in them, with white cards fastened persons out of employment the registry office had got places for. And in on to them with drawing-pins, and on the cards were written the kind of the very first one he read there was his own name King!

'I've come to the right shop,' said Billy, and he read the card through. 'Good general King wanted. Must be used to the business.'

'That's not me, I'm afraid,' thought Billy, 'because whatever a general King's business is I can't be used to it till I've tried it.'

The next was: 'Good steady King wanted. Must be quick, willing, and up to his work.'

'I'm willing enough,' said Billy,'and I'm quick enough at any rate, at fives or footer but I don't know what a steady King's work is.' So he to his work.' looked at another card.

'Wanted, respectable King to take entire charge of Parliament, and to assist in Cabinet Councils and Reform of the Army, to open Bazaars and

Schools of Art, and make himself generally useful.'

Billy shook his head.

'I think that must be a very hard place,' said he

The next was: 'Competent Queen wanted; economical and good manager.'

'Whatever else I am I'm not a Queen,' said Billy, and he was just turning sadly away, when he saw a little card stuck away in the right-hand top corner of the baize field.

'Hardworking King wanted; no objection to one who has not been out before.'

'I can but try,' said Billy, and heopened the door of the registry office and walked

Inside there were several desks. At the first desk a lion with a pen behind books with his horn. Billy noticed that the horn had been sharpened to a it's ear was dictating to a unicorn, who was writing in a series of Blue nice point, like a lead pencil when the drawing master does it for you as a favour.

'I think you want a King?' said Billy timidly.

'No, we don't,' said the lion, and it turned on him so quickly that Billy was sorry he had spoken. 'The situation is filled, young man, and we're thoroughly suited.'

Billy was turning away, much dispirited, when the unicorn said: 'Try some of the others.'

So he went on to the next desk, where a frog sat sadly. But it only wanted Presidents; and at the next desk an eagle told him that only the very end of the long room that Billy found a desk where a fat pig in Emperors were wanted, and those very seldom. It was not till he got to spectacles sat reading a cookery-book.

'Do you want a King?' said Billy. 'I've not been out before.'

'Then you're the King for us,' said the pig, shutting the cookery-book with a bang. 'Hard-working, I suppose, as the notice says?'

'I think I should be,' said Billy, adding, honestly, 'especially if I liked the work.'

The pig gave him a square of silver parchment and said, 'That's the address

On the parchment was written:

'Kingdom of Plurimiregia. Billy King, Respectable Monarch. Not been out before.'

'You'd better go by post,' said the pig. 'The five o'clock post will do.'

'But why but how where is it?' asked Billy.

'I don't know where it is,' said the pig, 'but the Post-Office knows yourself in the nearest letter-box. As to why, that's a silly question, really, everything. As to how why, you just tie a label round your neck and post your Majesty. Don't you know the Post-Office always takes charge of the Royal males?'

Billy was just putting the address carefully away in what would have been looked at the lion and unicorn and the other busy beasts behind their his watch-pocket if he had had any relation in the world except a great desks, and she did not seem to like the look of them. She looked up the uncle, when the swing door opened gently and a little girl came in. She long room and she saw Billy, and she came straight up to him and said:

'Please I want a situation as Queen. It says in the window previous experience not required.'

She was a very shabby little girl, with a clean, round, rosy face, and she looked as little like a Queen with previous experience as anybody could possibly have done.

'I'm not the registry office, my good kid,' said Billy.

And the pig said, 'Try the next desk.'

Behind the next desk sat a lizard, but it was so large it was more like an alligator, only with a less unpleasant expression about the mouth.

'Speak to him,' said the pig, as the lizard leaned forward on his front paws like a draper's assistant when he says, 'What's the next article?'

'I don't like to,' said the little girl.

'Nonsense, you little duffer!' said Billy kindly; 'he won't eat you.'

'Are you sure?' said the little girl very earnestly.

Then Billy said, 'Look here, I'm a King, and so I've got a situation. Are you a Queen?'