Chapter 20 - Just Stop Already!
Lacey's POV:
“NO! YOU’RE MINE! YOU TERMINATED THAT LIFE FOUR YEARS AGO! IT SHALL STAY THE SAME FROM NOW ON! I’LL DEAL WITH EVERYTHING! WATCH ME!”
LISTEN TO THIS FUCKER! WHAT THE FUCK IS WRONG WITH YOU?! What are you doing?!
He’s out of his mind and he’s shoving me in the limo, with care, in his madness, but against my will, as I’m retaliating. He’s arresting my hands with his, yanking me to him in the car. Kurt is closing the door and getting in the car, with the driver starting it and driving away.
“STOP WITH THE MADNESS! I’M NOT YOURS! WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT?! I kissed you back because you were under threat! There’s nothing else to it! AND YOU CAN’T DEAL WITH ANYTHING! AND WHO THE FUCK DO YOU THINK YOU ARE TO COME AT ME LIKE THIS?! I TOLD YOU WHEN I SIGNED THE CONTRACT THAT I’M NOT INTO THIS SHIT! YOU’RE CONSTANTLY CROSSING THE LINE!”
I’m using my entire force against him, and he’s like a fucking mountain! He’s holding my hands in a strong grip and pulling me on him while I’m pushing myself off him to no avail.
This fucker is a strong one! JESUS! WHO THE FUCK ARE YOU?!
My heart is drumming, and my brain is buzzing me for I have to deal with this fucker too! I’m a breathing monster at him to let me go, and he’s a boss dragon to not let go! We’re again in a lock of lunatic stares at each other, in the battle of the century in there! Kurt is closing the window between us and them….
I’LL KILL YOUR ASS TOO, KURT!
“YES! YOU ARE! I’M MADLY IN LOVE WITH YOU FOR THE LAST THREE MONTHS! OKAY?!”
WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU SAYING?! THREE MONTHS?! GO TO THE FUCKING SHRINK, KID!
No, I’m not stopping, and his words aren’t touching me in any way, though he’s serious.
“You’re crazy! You can’t be in love with me! And three months?!” I’m cocking my head at him. He’s smirking in triumph! “GO AND CHECK YOUR FUCKING BRAIN! WE KNOW EACH OTHER SINCE FUCKING YESTERDAY!”
But revelation hits me….
“Wait….” I’m not retaliating anymore for the moment as I need to process this.
His stare is that of a hungry lion with some splashing stars in there.
“That’s why you were like that yesterday with me? Offering me all that? And last night? And this morning? And all day? Acting like that? YOU’VE BEEN STALKING ME?! WHERE THE FUCK DID YOU SEE ME AND WHO THE FUCK ARE YOU?! I’LL FUCKING KILL YOU!”
I’m resuming my war against him, but he’s like a real God with real powers and I’m a fucking fly in his hands! NEVER HAVE I FELT LIKE THIS BEFORE! AND I’M A FUCKING GENERAL FOR FUCK’S SAKES! THE DEADLIEST ASSASSIN OUT THERE!
You son of a bitch! You’re dead! You’ll see! Oh! Only fuckers around me!
“Baby! Stop!”
“Don’t you dare call me baby! I’M NOT YOUR BABY! YOU PSYCHOPATH!”
“I haven’t stalked you like you think! It was Brenda through whom I first noticed you! And I fell in love with you! I’m speaking the truth!”
Brenda? What?! She’s dead! STOP KISSING ME, YOU PSYCHOPATH!
Yes, he uses my shock with Brenda and my momentary halt of going against him and he lays me on the back seat with him on top of me, nailing my hands, and kissing MY MOUTH!
FUCK! The mountain is on top of me! Shit! I can’t move! STOP KISSING ME LIKE THIS! YOU FUCKING DISGUST ME! YOU MOTHERFUCKER! YOU’RE DEAD!
I’m storming under him, but I can’t fucking move him off me. My heart is beating in my fucking brain right now! I’m using my entire mass of muscles to go against this bastard, but it’s like fighting with a real mountain that you can’t fucking break! I’m getting chills down my spine and my breathing is moving my chest against his as I’m out of breath like the fucker is.
OH! BRENT?! YOUR CLOCK IS TICKING, BITCH! YOU’VE SIDED WITH HIM AGAINST ME?! I KNOW YOU DID! I FUCKING KNOW YOU! I CAN UNDERSTAND NOW WHAT HAPPENED! Your fucking life wish for me! YOU FOUND A GREATER PSYCHOPATH THAN ME, HUH?! I’LL KILL BOTH OF YOU! I fucking told you I don’t want this, Brent! BUT YOU NEVER LISTEN! YOU’VE BETRAYED ME! ME! HOW MANY FUCKING TIMES HAVE I SAVED YOUR LIFE?! AND YOU DO THIS TO ME?! YOU’VE SOLD MY ASS TO HIM?! And you played the innocent and clueless one with me yesterday! I hate you!
He’s kissing me without perceiving anything else around him, like he did on the set. My brain is trembling, and I’m under fire as he’s burning on me. I’ve never felt this weak in my entire fucking life. OF COURSE I’M NOT INTO HIM! HE’S A PSYCHOPATH! YOU DON’T DO THIS TO A PERSON! WHO DOESN’T EVEN KNOW YOU! But he knows Brent and Brent knows him and I should be fine with it, right? GET THE FUCK OUT OF HERE! And I need to go and save Sarah’s parents too! Those bastards are not kidding with the video!
I don’t know when, how or why, but at some point, I find myself kissing him too, relaxing my body, and my heart is on a decrease of yelling beats.
What the fuck is wrong with me? I’m losing my fucking mind…. That’s happening….
He’s stirring in me waves of magnetic attraction to him, which has never fucking happened to me in my fucking life! I’m never like this! NEVER! But he’s like wiping out all my inner suffering and darkness and replacing it with positivity. I don’t fucking know how to explain it.
I’ve never been…. I’ve never been with a man like this before if you know what I mean. And for the loving a man part as in feelings? Not something that I can resonate with. I’ve never been in love. Not even had a crush or something. I’m out of the norms on that, I know. I’m a bad bitch at core when it comes to this. I’ve only learnt and focused on becoming who I am which the fuck was easy.
Discipline was the essence of my life in my all. You can’t be someone like me if you have a private life. Brent is different from me. And weaker as what we are. She’s a badass, too. Yet, not even close to me. She likes sex, boyfriends, parties and stuff, whereas I don’t. That’s why she calls me a fucking saint. She’s a normal one, I’m the abnormality and a fucking virgin. But no one knows that I’m a virgin as I’ve kept out of people knowing. I’m one considered with a discreet private life and always hunted down for them to find out who I’m seeing in the shadows and kill the fucker.
Well, my dad is the one I’m 'seeing'. HA-HA! Yes, Clinton and many others are after me in the personal sense, but I’ve kept them at bay in my 'assassin' style.
I’m someone who believes in the purity and strength of abstinence. No, Brent doesn’t know I’m still a virgin. Not even my dad. No one knows. I’ve lied to Brent ages ago that I did it with someone she didn’t know of when she was in a mission, and she couldn’t dig in to certify if I’m lying or not. I told her I didn’t like it and that I’m not doing it again, ever. My dad has never asked me, but at my age and how I am at personality and all that, he must think I’m not anymore. This is something he never intrudes in.
He has always allowed me to do whatever I wanted as he knows I’m a level-headed person and wouldn’t get into troubles. And no, he doesn’t know about my other life. Just the businesswoman and stellar academics one. He has always encouraged me in marriage since I reached the twenty-five mark, but never imposed. He said it’s my decision, but a single life is hard when growing old.
My mother died at my birth…. He loved her so much that he didn’t remarry…. He did have private affairs, but never a serious relationship. I told him that if he does that because of me being against, to stop. I didn’t mind for him to restart his life with someone else. He said that no one is like my mom and that he just can’t love another the same.
He’s constantly comparing other women with her, and none has reached her level. He can’t offer a real love and partnership to a woman; he considers not fair for the woman he would be with. Yeah, my dad is like that. He’s a real man who when he loves, it’s only one woman per life.
Even after my mom’s death, he still loves her, and he has always kept away from me the women he had. I’ve never sensed when he had one. That discreet he was. He was never called by a woman in a personal sense for me to find out. It’s like he never had one after mom.
But we did have the talk ten years ago, and he confessed to me all that. If my mom were alive, she would have been the luckiest woman on earth with such a husband. Yeah…. And a great dad. Yeah…. So, do you guys understand now why I’ve decided to shut down my entire life, besides my other problem, and dedicate my time and everything to save my dad? He fucking deserves it more than being my dad…. He did it for me too…. And the fuck I’ll lose him as well. Not happening.
I’ve never met my mom, but he has always kept her in front of me, like she is alive, yet in a long holiday away from us. He says I’m just like her in my all…. And that he’s happy to see her through me and that he’s a proud dad. Yeah… I’m always in tears when discussing about this…. The only times when I’m with emotions. On the other side of things, I never cry, and nothing affects me, no matter the inner or physical pains and suffering.
Yeah, I’m out of my mind as it seems. He has let go of my hands and we’re kissing each other like we know each other since forever. I’m with my left hand wrapped around his neck and the other one on his back. This is fucking madness…. I don’t fucking recognize myself. And I’m struggling to control as this is not normal and I really don’t want to have someone in my life. No matter who that person is. I’m not made to be someone like this or to get into a relationship. I’m a 'difficult' person.
Still, I get comfort in his arms and the synchronicity of our beating hearts is somehow driving me crazy. I can’t explain all this, it’s just a feeling that I’m having, which is new to me in every way. The coldness that I’m usually possessing inside is being cracked by his burning being on me. He’s like melting me.
Jesus Christ…. What is this fucker doing to me? How is he doing this? Why? I’m not like this and no one managed to do this to me…. What the fuck is happening to me? I’ve never felt like this….
My heart is vibrating my chest and I think I’m breathing in a panic attack as I’m really freaked out of my reactions and how he’s on me, caressing my left thigh, kissing me, and because of this entire situation.
No, I can’t do this…. I can’t…. This is not me…. Whatever this is, it’s not normal to me…. I can’t allow this…. No…. I can’t…. He’s a fucking kid to me…. I won’t do this!
I come back to my usual senses and reason and grab his hair with my left hand to break the kiss.
“STOP! JUST STOP ALREADY!”
We’re both breathing like we’ve been fighting in a gang fight and not kissing. He doesn’t seem to understand English language as he’s magnetized to my mouth again, so I slap him and storm under him to get him off me.
YOU’RE CRAZY!
His eyes are like some bombs are initiating in there. I’m sure panic is written in my eyes, mixed with anger for what’s happening. My entire body is fucking weak and I’m forcing myself to be strong against him as I’m not going to accept this. I’M NOT A FUCKING TEENAGER! I DIDN’T DO THIS WHILE A TEENAGER, THE FUCK I’LL DO IT AS A THIRTY-FOUR WOMAN! I JUST CAN’T!
“The fuck I’m stopping….”
WHAT?!