8 Uzaki-chan? - 2

"I hereby call the Uzaki family dinner to order!"

Fujio announced with a laugh and big grin from where he sat at the head of the table. Kaito found himself seated next to Yanagi, directly facing her older siblings while her mother busied about in the kitchen.

"Dad, the food isn't even fully ready yet." Uzaki Kiri, the only male of the three siblings pointed out exasperatedly with a roll of his eyes. Despite being the only son of the family, he looked nothing like his father. Being rather short and slender of build, with short silver hair and blue eyes the same as his siblings.

He was at least somewhat fit Kaito knew, since he was on the swim team, though he didn't particularly stand out there.

"That doesn't matter, we're all here at the table aren't we?" Fujio waved off his sons words, "We have a guest so we should be showing Kaito-kun how close knit and fun we are as a family unit!"

"He's been here before though?" the oldest of the three siblings, Hana looked up from where she was looking down at her phone and pointed out. The resemblance between her and Yanagi was something else, right down to the toothy grin. Really, the literal only difference between them in looks as far as Kaito could tell, was that her hair was shorter and she had all of a half an inch of height on her younger sister.

They were pretty much identical where it truly counted though. That being in the chest. Despite her incredibly short height, Hana Uzaki was an absolute bombshell up top, just like Yanagi.

"You know dad, they say overbearing parents are the type that get hated by their kids," Yanagi chimed in, "It's no wonder Hana-chan hasn't brought her boyfriend around to visit, she's too scared you'll embarrass her."

"Guh!" Fujio dramatically clutched at his chest before turning his pleading eyes on Kaito himself, "That's not true at all, right Kaito-kun, I'm a cool dad right? Look at my bulging my muscles and you even call me Fuji-niisan right?"

The nice thing to do here, for a man always trying to look out for him, was to come to his defence.

"I've never called you that Fujio-san." Kaito decided to drive the final nail into the coffin instead though.

Fujio slumped against the table.

He was dead.

While the corpse of the Uzaki family patriarch lay cooling atop the table, Kiri decided to change the topic, "So Evander, what's with all the rumours going around about you today at school?" he asked, "Some guys in my class were saying you're a yakuza that beat up twelve gangsters this morning to take a girl from them for yourself."

"…What?" Hana who was just about to look down at her phone again paused, and gave him a blank look.

So even he had heard the rumours?

"Now that he brings it up," Yanagi hummed with interest, looking at the taller boy beside her, "You didn't actually tell me what really happened earlier, I only heard Murayama-san was super thankful and kissed you and I heard her gushing about how cool you were before I found you at lunch."

Was it him, or was she frowning for a second there before it was replaced by a quirked grin?

"It wasn't anything all that special," Kaito shrugged, deciding to reveal the abridged version of what went down, "I just found some delinquent who was on holiday from Tokyo harassing Murayama on my way to school, I told him to leave her alone, so he attacked me, we got into a fight and I won pretty easily."

"Eh, that's all?" Yanagi pouted, "That's boring though. With all the rumours going around, people made it out like you were fighting some life or death battle."

"Not even close, he was kind of pathetic to be honest." Kaito shrugged. For some guy who possessed the soul and power of an ancient Chinese king from eighteen hundred years ago, he sure went down pretty easily.

Then again, kings weren't exactly known for their martial prowess.

"My, that still sounds dangerous though," Uzkai Tsuki, commented as she made her way over to the table, carrying a steaming pot, "Should we report it to the police just in case?"

Like her daughters, Tsuki, was a short woman. Though while her daughters faces were a bit sharper near the chin, hers was softer, more rounded, combined with her smooth skin and youthful features, it made her look much younger than she actually was. The woman looked like she could pass for her early twenties, despite being in her mid forties.

Unlike her daughters who wore their hair rather short, she kept her silver hair in a ponytail, but just like her daughters, her short stature was not at all a detracting point from her charm as a woman. She was the one they inherited their voluptuous figures from after all.

Kaito had to hand it to Fujio, he really had excellent taste in women. She was demure, soft spoken, kind, was an amazing cook and more on top of being an absolute bombshell, she was a perfect wife all in all.

Kaito forced himself not to stare and shrugged, "The student council president already reported it to the police from what she says, so no need." he informed.

If she actually did. He didn't understand how that woman worked after all. It wouldn't surprise him if she didn't just send her boytoy dragon slurper pawn to come 'rescue' him and get him indebted to them.

"Bwahahaha!" Fujio rose from the dead and laughed boisterously, "As if some mere delinquent could be a match for Kaito-kun! He can bench four hundred and fifty pounds y'know, that's way more than even me! Any delinquent that saw his muscles would turn the other way and run for their lives!"

"Wait…four fifty?!" Kiri spluttered, giving Kaito a wide eyed and gobsmacked look, "That's insane, I can barely do a hundred!"

"That's cuz you're a shrimp that doesn't do weight training," Yanagi shrugged, "Kaito-kun practically lives at the gym."

"I totally work out, I swim all the time!" her older brother snapped at her.

"So? It's good for endurance and keeping fit, but not making your muscles bigger. You don't even lift bro." Yanagi shut him down hard.

"Ugh, I'm surrounded by fitness freaks," Hana groaned, rolling her eyes, "Dad, Kaito and even senpai."

"Haha, you inherited it from your mother, she loves my muscles!" Fujio proudly declared, before realising what he said and frowning, "…Why did you have to inherit such a thing from your mother? Damnit, my baby girl has a boyfriend, how can this be!?"

"He's not my boyfriend!" Hana shouted.

"He totally is, you go to his house and cook for him and everything!" Kiri jumped in, "No guy would let a girl do that if he didn't like her, though he's a total weirdo for being interested in a shorty like you."

"Like you would know, you've never even held hands with a girl never mind had one cook for you!" Hana shot right back, "And who are you calling short, you aren't even one hundred and sixty centimetres in height despite being eighteen!"

"Yeah I am, I'm one hundred and sixty two thank you very much!" he shot back.

Which, was five feet three inches or so Kaito mentally calculated.

There was never a dull moment with the Uzaki family, that was for sure.

Case in point, a familiar mischief filled grin spread across Yanagi's face and she looked to Kaito, "Hey, speaking of height Kaito-kun, how tall are you?" she asked.

He already knew she was just doing it to rub it in the the faces of two particular others at this table, her brother only being one of them.

"Last I checked I was one hundred and eighty two, so about five-eleven." Kaito nonetheless answered her.

"Grk!"

"Grk!"

There were two simultaneous choking sputters from the other two males at the table, and their pride was ruthless crushed.

And they died together as father and son.

Fujio after all, was only five-seven despite having muscles that looked like they were carved from granite.

Yanagi it seemed, woke up this morning and chose violence. Ruthless, domineering violence at that.

"I've told you guys before, but senpai is one eighty, so about roughly the same height as Kaito more or less." Hana added fuel to the fire.

The depressed moans of the defeated men at the table was something else. Kaito hoped it didn't add any extra salt to the food.

Thankfully for the two male Uzaki corpses, it wasn't long later that Tsuki finished up cooking the food and brought it over, allowing for the topic of height, to be buried under the scent of delicious food.

"Y'know, on the topic of Hana and her boyfriend," Yanagi spoke up as they ate, "Why have you never invited me to your place Kaito-kun?"

Fujio's head snapped around to look at Kaito so fast he wouldn't have been surprised if he generated a sonic boom.

'What does that have to do with Hana's boyfriend?' Kaito couldn't help but wonder, before shrugging, "You've never asked to come over. Besides, it's not anything interesting."

It was literally a tiny one room apartment, well two if he counted the bathroom. His kitchenette was right next to his front door, which was literally in the hallway connected to his living space that function as both his living room and his bedroom.

He didn't even really have any furniture. He only had two cupboards that he could use to store his clothing and his futon and the only things he generally left out were his crappy television, his old ass game console and the small cabinet they sat atop.

The fucking homeless got provided with better and bigger housing in Scotland for free over that.

Japan sucked ass man.

"Hmm…" Yanagi pursed her lips, before shrugging, "Fair enough I suppose, then how about I come over every now and then, I'll make you dinner sometimes if you want."

Fujio's gaze was so heated, Kaito wouldn't be surprised if he started firing plasma beams from them at him.

….Didn't she realise what kind of situation she was putting him in here? If he said no, he was a dick, if he said yes, he made it seem like there was more going on than there really was.

It wasn't like he was in any position to have a girlfriend at the moment. He had freaking nothing to his name after all. And even then, he could never tell when Yanagi was just flat out trolling or not.

And bringing this up right here and now? Seemed more fishing for reactions than anything else.

If he was in any true position to have a girlfriend though, he'd date her in a heartbeat.

"I guess if Fujio-san and Tsuki-san are alright with it?" he went with the safest reply he could think of, before coughing and hurriedly changing the subject, "So, erm, Hana you have your ears pierced right?"

"Tch." Yanagi unashamedly clicked her tongue.

Hana blinked, "Yeah, I got it done a few years ago after I graduated High School," she replied, "Why?"

Thankfully, changing the subject waylaid more than just her, "Kaito-kun, don't tell me you're turning into one of those hipster bums?" a distraught look appeared on Fujio's face, "You're not going to get tons of piercings and tattoo's and join a failed pop band are you?"

"Ew, no," Kaito had to visibly stop himself from gagging in disgust at the thought, "I just came into a pretty cool earring that seems to be worth a lot, I won it in a competition and wanted to try it out, see how it looks on me." he lied.

Well, technically not a lie actually, more a half truth. He did win it, the competition was just a fight. And as the winner, he was free to take what he wanted.

"Well okay then," Fujio crossed his muscular arms and nodded, "Just remember your body is your temple. And your temple is full of powerful beautiful muscle, don't ruin it with gaudy crap like that, it would be like if some punk graffiti'd Senso-Ji temple!"

He was really comparing his muscles to the oldest, largest and mostly high regarded temple in all of Japan.

Well…that was about typical for him.

His children all gave the man blank stares, before Hana huffed, "If you're looking for a place to get your ear pierced, I don't actually know any," she replied, "I got mom to do mine for me."

"If you want Kaito-kun, I can do it for you after dinner." Tsuki offered a second later.

He grinned at her thankfully, "That would be great if you Tsuki-san, thanks." Kaito replied.

"Only one ear though!" Fujio added, "And I'll be keeping an eye out for any graffiti on your temple!"