A Deity's Prayer

Jiro's eyes glinted in the dark as a murderous aura overtook him.

He trapped Yuki's back against a tree and looked straight into her eyes.

Anger was written on his face as he tilted her chin up and inched his face closer to hers.

Yuki could feel her heart steadily beating in her chest. She was lost in those molten gold orbs that stared right into her soul. Her breathing became shallow, and suddenly he was all that she sees.

"Is this what you want?" Jiro asked. His voice chilled her very soul, for it had a tone he had never used on her. His voice was full of disgust for the things that she said.

Somehow, she knew then that he was about to break her heart into a million pieces. But she closed her eyes as she anticipated and waited for the kiss.

She nodded her head and closed her eyes in utter surrender.

And then, in an instant, his lips were on hers. Punishing her for the things that she said, but all the while claiming what he knew he couldn't have.

She started to push him away. He was not being gentle, and she was starting to regret having lit the flame.

But he did not let her escape from his grasp. Not when his need for her had not been fully sated.

Yuki felt Jiro's tongue on her lips seeking to explore further. She opened up her lips and welcomed him in a dance that consumed their mind, body, and soul.

The taste of her tongue drove the prince to insanity as he plundered and tasted, and sought more.

Yuki felt her body on fire as she gripped his arm, which snaked around her waist.

Then he was tasting her, licking her flesh and numbing her senses with nothing but his touch.

A low moan escaped the prince's lips when the beautiful woman in his arms started to trail her fingers down his spine.

They were still fully clothed, but their flesh was already burning with passion and greed.

Their lips met once more, leaving a flavor of their taste in each other's mouth.

The prince's mind was clouded by thoughts of her, the woman he had silently pined for all his life.

And so he kissed her until they ran out of breath. He kissed her like he always had in his dreams.

He claimed her lips as pulses of desire flowed through every fiber of his being.

He marked her, as every touch of her skin on his clouded his judgment.

Together they danced, and she clung to him like he was her strength and salvation.

The prince was lost in their embrace. He had long surrendered to the question of whether he was beast or man. His entire being longed to claim her, to shatter her innocence, and to finally feel his release.

Then, in that senseless moment of need, he heard her whisper, "I have always loved you Jiro."

•••••••••••••••

Suddenly, the prince was doused with cold water. He opened his eyes and saw the maddening lust in her eyes and the honesty that came with it.

No, this wasn't just lust. She loved him. She had loved him for a long time. He knew this to be the truth.

But love had no place in his life. He had been taught this ever since he was a child. No matter how much he desired a fanciful thing such as love, a royal could never have it.

For the heir to the throne to fall in love would be a disaster. For nothing should come before the crown. Nothing should come before his people. Not his beloved, not himself, and certainly not a fanciful illusion.

His duty as the crown prince was to marry a person of noble birth, a woman his subjects would deem worthy, a princess who could, later on, carry out the responsibilities of an empress.

Choosing a person to marry was not about love. For him, it was about survival.

He knew she was not used to the ways of the world, and he berated himself for taking advantage of her, for almost taking her to the edge.

He was disgusted with himself. With the prince who almost devoured a sheep like the monster that he was.

How could he, the man who swore to protect her, allow her request, when he knew himself to be incapable of returning any of her commitments?

Was he supposed to take her in as his concubine later on?

Could he do that to the person who meant the world to him?

Could he shatter the innocence that had been his only source of light throughout the years?

And so, he let go of her, his eyes full of anger and restraint. "You don't know what you ask. You are nothing but a disillusioned child. I am incapable of loving you. You should have known that by now, that I can never love. I can never love you," he continued, as he let go of her, his mind screaming at his destiny and his cruelty.

For he knew, he had hurt her nonetheless. He wanted to plead with her, to cradle her in his lap, to tell her promises he knew he couldn't keep, anything, anything to make them go back to what they had before.

He wanted to run away with her, to take her hand at that instant and lay his life at her feet. He wanted to be hers as he wanted her to be his.

But he was a prince, the crown prince. He had a duty to his country more than he had a duty to his own heart.

So he turned his back on her and forced himself to walk away. Yet every step he took shattered his resolve a little bit more.

Even so, he did not look back. For he knew that if he did, he could never let her go.

As the snow covered the soil with its white, crystal-like sheen, Yuki stared at the prince's broad form slowly fading into the night.

She waited for Jiro to look back, but he never did.

* * * * *

That night, Jiro's words echoed in Yuki's ears even when she was finally back in front of the palace.

She realized that she was crying when she heard a pathetic sob escape her lips and her shoulders started to shake.

She did not bother to wipe her tears away. She wanted to drown in her sorrow so that she could always remember that night for the rest of her life.

She made a resolve in her heart as the heavens wept with her and froze her heart to its very core.

That night, she swore she would never let herself be caught in another illusion, no matter how bewitching it might be.