(3) The Brother, Uegene

Eugene sneaked into his mother's room and brought out a yellow candy.

"Uh, that was what Arina ate.", said Cabel.

So now there is no one to eat it. He found it as quickly as possible, and he was worried that there might be more candy hidden in places he couldn't find.

His father said he would try to stop it as much as he could.

But the words that follows are if there is a risk that Hari will have to eat it because mother, he ask him to pretend he don't know anything.

But Eugene couldn't let Hari eat it. Maybe she haven't had this candy yet before…?

"Hey, are you guys ready?"

Then he heard his mother calling them from a distance. Today was a day when all family members decided to go out to town.

"Cabel, you're going down first."

Cabel first went down the stairs. Later, Eugene began to rush to handle the candy.

******

"Because there are many people, it's

easy to get lost, so the two of you must hold your hands and go. Hari should be well attached to her brother."

They walked silently looking forward while holding hands in white mittens. Hari also seemed uncomfortable.

Suddenly, before he went out today, the yellow candy he had handled and his mother's smiling face passed by.

"Even now…."

There are all kinds of abnormal situations that come around him right now.

"Do you want to go back to where you were?"

He didn't know why he was asking. Hari looked up at him as if she hadn't heard or confirmed the word he said. Eugene chewed his fine lips and asked again.

"Will you still want to go back to where you were?"

"I want to go back."

The answer came back quickly. There was still silence between the two. Only the two of them were quiet while the surroundings were all tumultuous.

Yes… this wasn't normal. Of course she want to go back. At this time he almost obsessed with anxiety.

If she want to go back to where she lived like that, it better to let her go right now. It would be a better way for all of us. He thought so.

Woosh.

It was at that moment that he had let go of the hand he was holding until then in the air. In a moment, warmth passed from the palm of his hand.

Eugene walked without looking back. He was pushed by so many people that he wasn't willing to look back until he get out of the crowd.

And finally, when he left the street just before, Eugene suddenly stopped walking in the middle of the road.

Hahaha. The noises that people make are stinging into his ears. Hari never called him out, when he was leaving herself alone. So this is it? Really?

All of this was so easy that it didn't feel real. But why is it that he feel this way? Why. Why…. Why, as if he's lost in the middle of this road…

"Hey, are you okay?"

Suddenly, Eugene was surprised and raised his head to the sound he heard in front of him. He looked strange in the middle of the road alone.

A couple of men and women who seemed to be a couple looked at him and looked worried. It was like seeing a child who left alone with his parents.

Like this, It was the first time he had been treated as a child, so Eugene was speechless for a moment.

He left the street as he had said nothing and ran away, but eventually he couldn't go far and sat down, leaning against the visible wall.

Eugene then really squeezed his body as if he was a child, and bury his face in his trembling hands. The sound of his throat was rubbing through the throat and leaking out.

What happened now? What the hell did he had done?

He couldn't figure out what he was doing right now. In fact, the visible truth was extremely simple.

It was that he had released the hand he was holding, but the meaning in it was certainly not the same weight as that one.

"Kh"

A cries of pain are screaming and boiled up from his chest. Both his eyes swelled, and his heart jumped as fast as a sprint. His vision were all dark.

Even the noise that had just filled up until now disappeared as if it had been washed away, and it seemed as if he is the only one that had fallen into the unfamiliar space without gravity.

Eugene opened his mouth and gasped his breath. The pupil who looked up at himself seemed to rise and fall as if he had been stuck in his eyes.

When he recalled what he had just done, he was afraid, but what made him really scared was what he did. He was really such a terrible human being.

Wasn't it such a pathetic human being who could only do this? 'I want to go back'

was the only word.

At the same time, He is looking forward to the rational self-rationalization..

He doesn't know exactly where Hari lived, but Eugene knew what it was like. So he try to told himself it better to let her go.

Instead of giving a warm house, freshly made bread, and pretty clothes, he didn't even know what he was thinking about in the middle of nowhere.

She also got what she want, so she shouldn't pay for it. But the child said she wanted to go back.

Even if the flowers are all withered, it is difficult to even eat one meal without selling them as if begging people. If so, it probably meant that the current life was just as hard for the her.

To the extent that they are terrible people who make her think it better for her to go back to her previous life.

'Brother Eugene'

With that thought, Eugene began to feel more terrible for himself. He bends his knees and bury his face in the meantime.

Just like trying to hide himself from this world so that no one can see it. Projecting the dead arina on their own, the child who is angry at the anger with no place to go.

All that was the fault of the people in Ernst. In fact, she did nothing wrong with them. He was there. If only he could said it was wrong. It wouldn't be Hari's fault.

Nevertheless, the child never even resented them for suffering her.

Because she doesn't know the truth, maybe she didn't even know why he had left his hand first, as if he were running away in front of Hari.

In a way, Eugene, who decided to take over Ernst's maintenance, should take care of his brother and he pretend he

was not responsible for their mistakes.

From the beginning, his younger brothers pretended not to know what they had done, and in addition to that, they had to try to solve the current situation somehow by bullying the child.

"Ha."

Suddenly, a dry arsenic rubbed his lips and leaked. Maybe he was really horrible now. Wasn't it just himself that was wrong?

He turned away from the situation in front of his eyes as it was convenient, and he

gave up saying that it was unavoidable.

Pretending to be a good son, pretending to be a caring older brother, and pretending to be an adult, but in fact all of them were too hard to handle and he wanted to run away.

Right. Eventually, he wanted to run away and let go of the little hand that was holding him.

'Doing this is the best way for everyone', while he was having such a stubby comfort for himself.

"Honey, are you sick? Where are your parents?"

It was asked by someone whom approaching him, when he crouched against the wall. Instead of answering, Eugene stand up from the wall, wriggling.

The lady who saw Eugene's face became more worried and asked again.

"If anything happens, I'll help. Is there an adult accompanying you?"

"I have to go find my sister."

"Ooh. You were looking like that because you lost your sister. Oh my!"

Eugene began to jump back on the road that he had come to disregard, even the voice who came from his behind, he ignored them.

Again, there was a loud noise around him, and many other people passed by. Please stay there.

Eugene thought many times desperately, running as his breath rose to the chin. And finally, when he finds the girl who is crouching down like that, sitting on the box, Eugene notices her quickly.

He moved slowly, feeling that his step was getting hot.

One step. One step.

Every time he walked forward, the feeling of dismay, which seemed to be a lost child, began to drop away from him.

Instead, something new starts to sprout in its place…

"Let's go."

Eugene said to the child who was looking at him as if she had been waiting. Oh, how can he express the mood of this moment?

"…Have you been there?"

Perhaps he would never forget today until the day he died.

"I have."

It's like he go back to the day when he was born and experienced countless emotions that seemed to die like firecrackers from his inside.

And the moment when he once again met this little hand that he had placed in his hand. Obviously, he would continue to live with a heart on his chest.

"My legs hurt."

Eugene lifted her, and walked back to where their family would be. He heard a small murmur from behind.

It was a vague whisper that he couldn't tell whether she was talking to herself when sitting alone in that place as if she was waiting for him.

"You look uncomfortable."

"Noisy."

Now the sun started to settle down on the ground. The shadows created by the two fools also stretched to the floor.

On that road, Eugene wanted to cry for a bit, but because he thought she didn't

deserve it, he pushed his back up and down again and continue walking.

"I'm sorry."

After he impulsively put that short word out of his mouth, he couldn't stand it without saying it again.

"I'm sorry."

She just said nothing. So Eugene was able to whisper the same words several times

afterwards.

Until the burden whom pressing his chest tightly enough to choke him feel very lightly.

A cowardly apology without being heard.