Affair

"We can't keep doing this" Ray stated, looking up at the ceiling and I sighed in distress and frustration.

"Then let's stop" I argued sitting up from the bed. It was the same bed I had slept in the night I got kidnapped and I had been sleeping in it for the past three weeks. With my house gone, Ray had offered to give me a home until mine was rebuilt. It should have made things easier for both of us but instead, it just made it a whole lot more complicated.

*We weren't having sex but for some reason we often found ourselves fooling around. Honestly, I would have had sex with Ray a long time ago if it wasn't that he wouldn't allow it.

He sat up as well "I am serious" he pressed, running an idly finger down my arm. I rolled my eyes at him.

"Then keep your hands off me" I gambled and he smirked, looking into my eyes.

"You know I can't" he spoke in a hushed tone and after a thoughtful moment, I leaned into him. He scanned my face waiting for me to fill the space and I grinned.

"Your girlfriend's almost home" I whispered, laying a perk on his lips and jumping off the bed. He curled his eyebrows in bewilderment.

"How do you know that?" he questioned and I pointed to the clock. It was 6:58 pm and if I was correct she would walk in at exactly 7:00. She had never been late before, not once.

He nodded "You noticed"

"Yep. Now get out" I urged, pushing him towards the door. I swung it open.

"Fine Boss" He laughed and I shoved him out. It was exactly 6:59. I grunted inwardly, I hated this so darn much. I didn't know how much longer I could continue. Lies and deceit weren't a part of my limited specialties and as for this, I had never and would never dream of doing it. I was the other girl and it brought endless guilt and burden. Even so, I couldn't quite keep away.

"Just one more kiss" he begged and I slammed the door shut. The clock struck seven and I heard Aleecia enter.

"Hey Cotton" she spoke joyfully and I tried my very best not to cringe.

Ray didn't answer but I heard a kiss and then both footsteps disappearing. I groaned. I felt so dirty and wrong. How did this even happen?

•°•°•°•°•°•°

__How it happened__

I sat up from the bed, it was almost 1 p.m. Since Miss Ven's death, five days ago, I had locked myself in my room, refusing to see anyone or anything. Because of such decisions, I was being self-starved against my tummy's will. My stomach roared and I threatened it to shut up. I deserved to be here, only surviving with the water from the tap in my bathroom and toothpaste.

I hadn't figured out how to deal with the shock of Miss Ven's death and I often found that blaming myself for it was rather satisfying. I mean, the fire started from my house, therefore it was fitting. People were thinking it, hence it must be partially true. I was practically responsible.

I felt like I had death written all over my hands; by looking or making friends with someone I was sealing their fate with the horrid creature- death.

I got off the bed and wandered to the door, my nose sniffing out something delicious. Before I could stop myself, I was walking towards the smell. Soon enough it brought me to the kitchen.

Ray looked up with a warm smile. He had been trying to get me out of my room since I got here. I guess he succeeded. He placed a plate of food on the counter and I sat immediately. He chuckled, passing a fork and I dug right in. He had cooked pasta, my favorite.

I finished a few minutes later. A feeling of satisfaction engulfed my taste buds and I shrunk in my seat in contentment. I looked up from my plate and realized Ray was watching me. He sat and placed his hands unto the counter; they were still wrapped in bandages, as they hadn't quite healed from the fire.

"Feeling better" he queried hopefully and I nodded with a smile.

I felt a whole lot better.

"What does a shadow mean?" I inquired after a moment of silence. The question had been burning away the corners of my mind since he disclosed the information.

"Let's see…" he began, watching me intently. He leaned back into his chair "It's basically a bunch of people trained to be just that, a Shadow, for the protection of a specific individual or subject"

"How many other persons have you shadowed?"

"Uh, about thirty"

"You've shadowed thirty persons before me?" I questioned, making my disbelief obvious. He must have started really young. Like, he was only two years older than I was. Darn.

"Yes. It could be more" he playfully threw a piece of balled-up paper towel at me.

"What?" I asked innocently with a giggle, before leaning in "How many of them died?" I whispered. Something about questioning his effectiveness, made me feel bigger than he was.

He looked at me for a thoughtful second "One" he answered eventually, his face taking on a melancholy expression. I froze, feeling suddenly overwhelmed and saddened, especially since I reminded him of it.

"I'm so sorry" I offered and he laughed

"I didn't tell you how she died" he shrugged, leaning forward "I killed her after she questioned my effectiveness in my job."

I stared at him, trying to process the information I had received. I was currently questioning his effectiveness.

He smirked "O God. You're so dumb. You're the girl I'm going to kill if you keep questioning my efficiency" he laughed, flicking me in the head but the only thing I heard was him calling me dumb. I got up, placing a lazy hair behind my ear. I carried my plate to the sink and filled a cup of water. I sprung his chair around so he was facing me.

"You're a bully and bullies get" I slowly poured the water over his head and he laughed but it wasn't a good laugh. He gripped my retreating arm and stood. "You should know better" he deadpanned, lifting me and throwing me over his shoulders in one swift move.

I squealed, trying not to think about how strong he was and how he lifted me like I was merely paper.

"What are you doing?" I laughed, once I finally found my voice

"Shhhhh…" he smoothed, shutting me up. I held my breath as he walked straight to the hallway bathroom.

"Ray?" I shrieked anxiously. I had no idea what he was up to.

He locked us both in his shower and before I could ask any more questions he placed me under the faucet and turned it on. It was so cold and it didn't take long for us to be soaked right through. He didn't seem at all phased by the water but by the time he was finished, I was shaking like a leaf. I glared at him with death in my eyes and he tried hiding his amusement and laughter. I swatted him on the arm as he pulled a towel from its rack and wrapped it around me.

I pulled it tighter waiting for him to let us out but he didn't. I avoided his eyes, I must have looked like a walking disaster or a tiny little shaking wet rat. He, on the other hand, looked like something I should only see wet if I wanted a heart failure.

"What?" I asked finally

"Have you ever seen a newborn bat?" he chortled "You look exactly…"

I didn't let him finish, I threw the towel at him and he caught it

"S-shut up" I managed through trembling lips

"Difference is you have a little hair" he laughed, flipping my wet hair and I tried my very best not to slap him.

"Pass me back my towel" I demanded, realizing the consequences of my actions. I was so cold.

He examined my figure "You know you're still in your pajama and I can see right through…"

I looked down and squealed, trying to cover myself up.

"Shut your stupid eyes" I yelled after failing and he smirked.

"Nope"

I tried retrieving the towel but the higher I hopped, the higher he raised it. I jumped until I was too tired to jump anymore.

"Ray come on" I begged

"You shouldn't be this close to me" he grinned and I became immediately aware of our close proximity. I attempted to step back but he slipped his free hand around my waist, keeping me in the spot.

"What are you doing?" I asked, trying to keep my breathing steady and equal.

"What are you? You're the one who's practically naked" he joked

I sighed through my mouth and he bit his lips

"You did this, not me"

"I'm sorry, who poured water all over me?"

"Then let go" I riled in utter frustration and he paused for a second

"Is that what you want?" he asked genuinely and I refused to answer his question, looking away from his daunting eyes.

He ran a finger over my cheek and under my chin, forcing me to look at him. I diverted my sight and he let me loose after a moment of complete silence and handed me the towel. I snatched it from him and stepped back. I wasn't trembling anymore, the cold had been replaced by warmth and the thought of stepping out; ending the possibilities, glued me to the spot.

"What do you want? You're confusing me. This moment you're all over me and the next…" I scanned the tiled floor and the glass door of the shower for an escape.

"I don't know" He pinched his earlobe like he always does when he was in a difficult spot.

"Well that doesn't work for me" I snapped, attempting to leave.

"Amelia wait" He begged.

"On what?" I turned to face him

He tried to speak but no words came, eventually he looked away and I exited his shower and made my way to my room, or rather the room he gave me. The pain from our encounter sliced my shivering heart in two and I struggled not to shed a tear. How could I ever allow myself to feel like this way about anyone? About Ray? I knew this would happen and that we would never be together but my stupid body, lips, brain and heart couldn't help itself.

There was a knock on the door and I let a trembling breath go before wiping my eyes and swinging the door open. It was Ray.

He inhaled sharply, looking deep into my eyes "I want you Mia." He searched my face for understanding and my heart fought with the cage in my chest. "I want you" He repeated before pressing his lips into mine.

He wanted me.