163 The Last Act of This Tragedy

Gustav was surprised at how much bitterness he had inside him. He thought he had already dealt with the pain. He was sure that he had finally come out of the darkness into which Ole's betrayal had thrown him. Yet he was so wrong. Because of Ole, he could not move forward. He felt like he was giving one step forward and three steps back. This is no way to go on living...

"Ole was not perfect," he continued after a short pause. "He was sometimes sullen, moody, demanding constant attention, but that's what made him so interesting. Even someone as impractical as I was around Ole felt needed and important, as if he couldn't survive without me. But it was I who couldn't survive without him. Because he was the one who gave my life validity. Just as he depended on me, I depended on him. He gave me meaning. So when he..."

It hurt so much that he could not speak further. He took a deep breath of air.